Jackson Livesy: Born Again
by Dayne Dinning
Summary: A night out ends in disaster for Aaron & Jackson. Aaron is injured beyond belief and needs help from his loved ones but will one in particular commit? Titled "Aaron & Jackson: Born Again" Until Chapter 36
1. Just Let It Go

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Just let it go"

This fanfic starts the night of October 6th 2010 (Not what you think lol) My idea for fics always start with "what if" so for this fic its another journey, another subject to tackle that I haven't done before so I hope you guys like it, and I hope you r&r. Thanks guys x

**#Chas is not on holiday with Carl during the time of this fic.**

...

Bar West was bustling with life, music and drunks. Aaron sighed as he looked around; then looked back at Jackson who was sat beside him. "Just a mate is he?" asked as he looked intently into the eyes of the man who had changed him ever since they had met.

Jackson looked into Aaron's eyes too. "Boyfriend" he said with a nod.

Aaron's face lit up with a loving smile and both men leaned into each other and kissed passionately. Once they parted both men smirked at each other "Just going for a smoke" Aaron told him and got up and left their table with a smile on his face.

Once outside Aaron breathed in the cold night air, quite a lot of people were around town walking from bar to bar, he reached for his pack of cigarettes in his pocket but stopped when he saw him. Mickey left the bar that Aaron saw him in earlier. He instantly saw red but he was waiting for his opportunity. Seconds later Aaron felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him back.

"What the hell are you doing Aaron?" Jackson asked harshly.

"It's him" Aaron replied

Jackson nodded. "Yeah? Leave it...he's not worth it"

"Is that right?" Aaron questioned.

Jackson sighed. "Why does every night out with you end up like this?"

"He killed Clyde alright, he's gunna get what's coming to him"

Jackson sighed again. "Alright fine, go get arrested, hurt or whatever I don't particularly care right now because we're over"

Aaron turned to him quickly. "You what?"

"You heard me" Jackson began as he stepped back. "We're over; it's the end for us" Jackson told him and then turned and headed to his van.

Aaron rubbed his forehead and in his frustrations he saw Mickey across the road and his opportunity now presented itself and he immediately sprinted across the busy road and dragged him down an alley.

Both men landed harshly on the concrete floor and began to scuffle. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Giving you what you deserve mate!" Aaron shouted angrily and landed a punch on his face, then another and another until he felt Mickey's shoe dig into his stomach as he was forced away. Aaron hit against the wall hard as Mickey got to his feet.

"You have no idea who you've messed with _mate!"_

"I think I do...it's you who doesn't" Aaron threatened as he moved his head forward and head-butted Mickey, who fell back onto the ground wincing in pain as he pinched his bloodied nose. Something grabbed Mickey's attention in the corner of his eye and he reached for it and swung the thick and heavy plank of wood towards Aaron.

Aaron didn't have any time to react; it all happened so fast, the ringing in his ear started first then the dizziness as soon as the wood struck his neck.

Mickey didn't waste any time in inflicting pain on Aaron as he continued to beat and batter him with the wood. He smirked as he beat him to the ground, unconscious, scraped and bloody.

...

Hazel jumped up from her doze on the couch when the front door slammed. "Mum!" she heard Jackson's voice shout through the house. Hazel stood up and walked into the kitchen, it was a good job Paddy was still out, he'd have woken him.

"Whoa love what's the matter and do you know what time it is?" she asked.

"Yeah I do, but me and Aaron are done"

Hazel was shocked. "What? Why?"

"I saw him watching that Mickey guy in town, and he wouldn't let it go" Jackson was riled up with good reason.

"And you just left him?"

"Damn right I did. I'm sick of it mum. I paid Mickey off so we wouldn't have any of this but no Aaron being Aaron..." he sighed as he slumped into a dining chair.

"I know what he's like love..." she was hesitant about mentioning what she was about too because she knew her son and what his reaction would be. "Why don't you just sleep on it? Wait till the morning and see what happens"

"No. And I'm not staying here either cause he'll come back and think everything's okay when it's not" he spoke quickly, then looked sad. "A-And because everything reminds me of him" he told her.

Hazel looked sympathetically to her son. "Well alright then, go back to Andy's, lock the door and turn your phone off if you have too but at least think about it"

Jackson shook his head as he got up from the chair. "Nah, why should I be the only one to think about this supposed relationship when he can't even be bothered to let this whole Mickey situation go?" he turned and walked slowly to the door as Hazel's mobile began to ring. "Night mum" he said as he opened the door.

"Oh Paddy I can't be doing with your drunkenness right now...have a good night have ya?" she asked. Several seconds passed. "You what? How is he? N-No...Okay...I-I-I'll tell him, yeah bye"

Jackson frowned. "What was all that about?"

"Erm..." Hazel let out a deep breath. "You should sit down"

"No! Mum! What?"

"Aaron's in hospital, Paddy saw an ambulance across the street when he left the bar looking for you both, and he was curious and it was Aaron, beaten to a pulp with a bloody bit of wood next to him...a passerby found him and called an ambulance. Paddy's beside himself. I should get to the hospital"

"Why?"

"Because unlike some sunshine I care about that boy and the two of you together so I suggest you get to that hospital with me now"

Jackson shook his head and swallowed hard. "It'll be nothing anyway, he's probably exaggerating. I'm not going anywhere" he told her as she walked by him and grabbed her coat.

"Don't Jackson!" she yelled. "Don't you dare because underneath that act your putting on you care and you're as worried and as scared as I' am"

Jackson averted his eyes away from his mum and remained silent.

"Fine. Well at least you'll manage to sleep soundly tonight...go on then...you were leaving? I need to call a taxi"

Jackson stepped forward and walked passed his mum who was holding the door open for him and he stormed out and walked down the street to Andy's.

...

As Hazel paid the driver she saw Chas running up to the entrance doors to the hospital and she quickly moved to catch up. "Chas!" hazel shouted. Chas stopped and waited for Hazel to join her. "Did Paddy call you?"

Chas nodded. "Yeah he just called and said to get here as soon as, what the hell has he done now?" she asked as they walked into the hospital. "Where's Jackson?" she wondered.

"Erm, long story let's just see how Aaron's doing first"

Chas nodded as she stopped at the reception desk.

Several minutes later Hazel and Chas walked through intensive care and saw Paddy standing talking with a doctor. "Paddy what's going on?" Chas called to him.

"You better tell his mum, that's her" Paddy told him.

"Miss Dingle?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah what's happened to my son?"

"One thing at a time, I'm the doctor overseeing the care of your son at the present time, he came in with multiple surface wounds and a few broken ribs and it looks like he's suffered a bang to the head, we've had to put him on a ventilator because he's unable to breathe unaided at the moment. We can't say how extensive the damage is yet but he is stable and we are doing everything we can for him but you need to prep-"

Chas cut him off. "Prepare for what exactly?" she spat.

"If you'll let me finish Miss Dingle...I understand how worried you are but you need to prepare yourself for the state your son may be in when he wakes up" he stopped and sighed. "What I'm worried about right now is the hit to his head, from my experience with damage like that they can wake up fine...other cases they won't"

"What?" Chas frowned. "Brain damage?"

"It's a possibility yes."

TBC...


	2. Guilt

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"GUILT"

This fanfic continues the next day on from _Just let It Go_

**#Chas is not on holiday with Carl during the time of this fic.**

...

Chas and Hazel sat on either side of Aaron's bed, he'd been moved to a private room under close observation and family were allowed to sit with him. Chas hadn't slept, neither had Hazel they'd both been there since they were called. It took them both a while to convince Paddy to go and get some rest.

Chas sat staring at the ventilator and the tubes going into his mouth. She sighed and shook her head. "I know he's your son Hazel but I'm really angry at him right now...this is love is it? Not being here for him when he needs him the most"

Hazel nodded. "I know Chas I'll have a word"

"I hope so" she turned her attention away and looked across the bed to her. "You might aswell have that word now...you look shattered, go on get some rest"

"I-I don't wanna leave him" Hazel replied hesitantly.

"I know" Chas nodded. "But I'll call you if there's any change, I promise" she told her softly.

Hazel nodded and reached down for her bag and stood up then leaned down over Aaron and kissed his forehead. "I know we can't stand each other sometimes love but you need to wake up soon because we all need you in our lives, especially that women sat beside you..."

Chas watched and listened to her and a smile grew on her lips and found herself wiping a few tears away. Hazel turned and smiled. "I'll be off, but make sure you call and I'll be back later. Hopefully with that son of mine, if not...well I give you permission to do whatever you like"

"Trust me I will"

...

Smithy cottage was quiet, too quiet for Paddy. He was stood against the kitchen benches with his head in his hands, his shoulders jerking up and down as he sobbed. He instantly stopped when he heard the front door open; he quickly wiped his eyes and turned and saw Marlon. "Hi mate..."

Paddy smiled slightly. "Hey"

"How's he doing?" Marlon asked.

"Erm...still unconscious, still on the ventilator...dunno how he's gunna be when he wakes up – if he wakes up"

"Ahh Paddy don't think like that, he will wake up"

"You know I-I've had a lot of time to think and uh..." he began to shake his head. "I shouldn't have got as drunk as I did, I should have been looking out for him, not dancing around like a lunatic" he sighed as he wiped tears away.

"Mate you had no idea what was going to happen, and don't you dare feel guilty you rarely go out like that, you are allowed to have fun you know, what happened was tragic and horrible but it wasn't your fault. Aaron messed with the wrong guy and now he's paying for it and he's going to need you so pull yourself together man and get cleaned up then come to the pub and I'll get you some lunch"

Paddy sighed and nodded. "What's everyone saying?" he asked.

"Nothing really you know, the usual, hope he's okay etc" Marlon replied.

Paddy nodded. "Have you seen Jackson?"

"Yeah this morning getting in his van, must have been going to work"

"How on earth can he just go to work? I can barely think straight never mind what appointments I've got...and times like this everything falls away because what's important is that boy lying in that hospital bed, I never thought Jackson would be like this"

"I know where you're coming from mate but you didn't expect this and you don't know what happened between them"

"It shouldn't matter what happened, he should just care"

"Alright hypothetically...you thought that maybe he's trying to deal with this in his own way...however strange it may seem to you or me?"

Paddy shrugged and started walking to the stairs. "Dunno but he needs to get his act together because he doesn't wanna get on the Dingles bad side, no offence...or mine for that matter. I'll meet you in the pub" he told him before walking upstairs to take a shower.

...

Several hours later after catching up on some sleep Hazel woke and pulled herself together and left for the pub, a few minutes later she walked inside and immediately saw Jackson sat at a table alone with two empty pint glasses and one half full. She bit her tongue and walked to the bar and ordered a drink for herself, once she'd gotten it and paid, she picked up her glass and walked over to where Jackson was sat and sat opposite him.

"Those helping are they?"

Jackson shrugged.

"Are you going to visit your boyfriend or what?" she asked quickly.

"We're not together" he replied but his words did not mirror the look in his eyes.

"And because of that all feelings you had are cut are they? Or should I say the feelings that you do have"

"Do I?"

"Yes you do!" she raised her voice enough to draw attention to her from the other drinkers in the pub. Hazel realised this and leaned over the table. "You haven't even asked how he is"

Jackson sighed and looked away.

"Right fine, we'll sit here in silence, I'll finish my drink then I'm going back to the hospital"

Jackson didn't reply again.

...

An hour later Hazel was back in the hospital and she pushed open the door to his room and saw Chas sat holding his hand.

Chas looked up and Hazel shook her head.

Chas placed Aaron's hand back down on the bed. "Right then!" she said angrily as she stood and marched out of the room.

Hazel smirked and placed her bag down and took her coat off and sat down in the chair again. "Let's hope she has better luck"

...

Cain and Adam were stood outside the pub. "So what we gunna do then?" Adam asked to which Cain frowned. "What do you mean?"

"About Mickey, ahh come on Cain he can't get away with this"

Cain pouted slightly as he thought. "Never thought you were the type"

"Yeah well neither did I till I saw my best mate earlier lying there unable to breath by himself!"

"Yeah...it's not good to see" Cain told him thoughtfully.

"Oh so it affected you did it?" Adam asked flippantly.

Cain shot a glare at him. "When it comes to family mate I care!"

"Right well then help me sort out that scumbag!" Adam urged.

Cain looked away and sighed. "Alright...my way, not yours...you'll only end up in jail"

"Right whatever fine" Adam nodded.

As Adam replied Chas marched up to the doors of the pub and saw the two standing together. "What are you two doing?" she asked.

"Talking" Cain replied.

"You two? Ha..."

"And why's that so unusual?" Adam asked.

Chas frowned. "Because you never do anyway whatever, seen Jackson?" she asked.

"Yeah in there" Cain told her.

Chas nodded and continued to walk in. "All I need to know" she told them. Once inside she stopped and looked around, when she saw him at the table after having downed several pints she saw red and stormed over and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up.

"What you doing?" Jackson shouted.

"Get outside now!" she shouted back as she pulled him forward then pushed him to the door.

...

Cain and Adam quickly moved out of the way as Jackson and Chas stormed out of the pub and down the steps. Jackson started walking quickly up the village.

"Hey! Don't walk away from me!"

"Or what Chas?" Jackson shouted back.

"You really don't wanna find out!" she told him as she began to run to catch up to him. Once she was close she ran him front of him and stopped and placed her hand out to stop him walking any further. Jackson was about to walk around her when she spoke. "Please Jackson, just give me a minute"

Jackson stopped and looked at her.

"What's going on? Aaron's lying in hospital hooked up to a ventilator fighting for his life and all you can do is sit in the pub and get drunk?"

Jackson frowned. "I kept saying to my mum that it didn't matter that I didn't care because we're over, thing is I was hasty and stupid..."

Chas listened and watched him intently and nodded at what he was saying.

"An-And I shouldn't have left him" he admitted, guilt now showing in its fullest form as he broke down and cried in front of her. "I do love him, I do...but..."

Chas had gone from being so angry to sad for a man she despised in the space of a few minutes. "But what?" she asked.

"But he doesn't listen to me, I told him to leave Mickey, to drop it but he doesn't he gets so wound up that he has to let it out and I couldn't take that Chas, I shouldn't have left him!"

"You didn't know it was going to happen"

"Not the point, I told him I loved him and when I say that it's a big deal and I should have stuck by him and tried to make him see sense"

"I know you love him Jackson, he needs you now more than ever..."

Jackson wiped his eyes. "How is he Chas?" he asked but crumbled again, he was scared to face what had happened.

"He's unconscious and like I said on a ventilator and there's a possibility he could suffer brain damage but we won't know until he wakes up"

Jackson's heart broke at those words he felt as though his legs were going to give way. He just stared blankly passed Chas. "I'm sorry" he sniffled.

Chas shook her head as she too now began to cry a little and she reached out and placed her hand on his cheek. "It's no one's fault Jackson and I certainly don't blame you for this"

"Can I see him?" he asked.

Chas chuckled as she wiped away her tears. "Why the hell do you think I left him?"

"True point..." he replied with a nod.

"You can do this Jackson, it's not nice to see straight away but you'll get used to it...do you love him? Like really love him?"

"So much Chas"

Chas smiled. "Good, come on then"

TBC...


	3. From The Heart

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"From The Heart"

This fanfic continues the next day on from _Guilty_

...

Jackson walked back into Aaron's room with a coffee and sat beside him again. "You know...I haven't been here long but I think that coffee machines gunna get a lot of my money so to save me from debt how about you wake up eh?" he asked as he looked intently at him. Jackson sighed. "Later then" he said as he still watched his boyfriend and smiled.

Jackson took a sip of his coffee and placed it down beside him then watched Aaron some more and went into deep thought for several minutes, with only the machines for noise in the room.

Ten minutes had passed and Jackson came out of his daze and looked down at his hands and slowly rubbed them together and he frowned as he struggled with his thoughts. "You scare me Aaron" he said quietly. "I don't know what kind of mood I'm gunna get when I see you, or how you'll react when I say something you might not like to hear, I'm sick of it I just want you to relax a bit. It's like you've got this huge chip on your shoulder, I know Mickey did wrong by setting his dog on Clyde he did; it was horrible and I was there trying to pick up the pieces but you push away people that matter, like me. I moved out cause of it all Aaron you focus on what really doesn't matter rather than the things that do" Jackson reached for Aaron's hand and held it – it was warm and soft.

Jackson smirked. "You always got tetchy when I teased that you moisturised and all you said was it must be the engine oil and pull that scowl that you do...quite often I might add" he scoffed and smirked. "But nah...they're really soft...you so do moisturise...can you tell I'm loving this right now? Yeah I 'am cause you can't argue back...wow...never thought that'd happen...but then again I never thought I'd see you lying like this in hospital cut and bruised and in a coma..." he sighed and looked around the room, fighting back his tears, he didn't want to cry. "A coma..." he mumbled in disbelief and he shook his head slightly.

"I shouldn't have left you the other night, I should have been more patient with you and made you see sense, things could have been a whole lot different if you'd have just listened to me...but" he frowned again as he attempted to figure out his words. "But I guess that's why I love you...for you, your attitude, your stubbornness and moods despite how trying they can be I really do love you and I know you haven't said it back but maybe we can have a talk when you get out and your all better again, I'm not gunna push you into saying it but it would be nice to hear someday" Jackson smiled at the thought of Aaron saying he loved him back.

"I know you're only eighteen and I know how it feels to come out, it feels like a weight has been lifted from you but at the same time there's a fear inside constantly and you feel on edge about stuff and you don't know what to do with it or what it is for that matter but it'll always be there and you just have to get on with it, every gay person sits and thinks and has their moments I know I do but I know who I' am and I'm fine with him and you're getting there, yeah you're still a bit uncomfortable at times but you can be entirely comfortable with me, I've seen it when we're alone when we're in bed, you can do it all the time, if people don't like it they can in your words do one or jog on..." Jackson smirked. "What I would give for you to say either of those to me right now"

...

"Do you remember the first time we kissed outside bar west?" Jackson smiled. "You didn't know what to do but the look on your face when I pulled away it was so adorable it was like a light had been switched on and that little smirk you had on your face...ahh I could love you forever Aaron...and I want too, I want that so much so you have to wake up soon...and then our first time...you were getting yourself in a flap about everything because I was experienced with men and you weren't but eventually..." Jackson smiled as he remembered their first night. "It was amazing...I never told you this but it was my best, you're the best..." Jackson began to chuckle slightly. "You really are" he then began nodding quickly as he crumbled into pieces again and put his head in his hands as he sobbed.

A few minutes later he calmed himself and wiped his eyes. "I meant what I said the other night, you are my boyfriend, what I said outside after that I want you to ignore because we are nowhere near done, in face we're just beginning." Jackson stood up. "I won't be long...don't go anywhere...waking ups ok though you can do that" he told him as he walked to the door.

...

Jackson walked back to Aaron's room after visiting the toilet and panicked when a nurse was inside tending to Aaron, he frowned. "What's the matter? What's happened?"

"No need to panic it seems your boyfriend can breathe by himself now" she smiled. "I came in to do my checks and the ventilator stopped, I've removed the mouth pieces." She told him.

"What does it mean?" he asked.

"That he's close to waking up soon hopefully but it still maybe some time, other cases it's quick, just depends on the patient, but he's a fighter, I'd be proud" she told him as she walked to him and left by the door.

Jackson smiled, he knew he should have immediately left to call Chas but he didn't want to leave and risk missing him wake up; instead he took out his mobile and sent a text, ignoring the 'turn mobile devices off' signs.

Moments later Jackson was shocked as Chas walked in. "That was quick" he commented.

"Yeah I was in the canteen...stayed and sat a while just thinking"

"Ahh I didn't know, glad you're here now though" he told her with a smile.

"So my boys breathing on his own eh?" she said with a smile as she leaned over and looked at his face and ran the back of her hand over his cheek gently.

Jackson smiled as Chas took the chair on the opposite side. "You been talking to him?" she asked.

Jackson chuckled. "None stop for about an hour"

"What did you boys talk about then?" she was genuinely interested, she may not have showed it in the past but she was happy for them.

"Oh you know this and that..."

"This and that makes you cry does it?" she gave him a look and then turned back to Aaron. "You're eyes are a bit red, dead giveaway"

"I had a lot to say...even if he didn't hear me...I got it out...and I'll keep the important bits and repeat them when he's better" he smiled.

"Good" Chas nodded and looked back at Jackson. "I'm glad you did that Jackson"

Jackson smiled and nodded to her.

Chas' eyes widened. "Jackson! Did you see that?" she asked quickly.

He then looked at Aaron quickly then back at her. "What?"

"His eyes flickered"

Jackson stood up and leaned over him. "Aaron? Aaron come on mate wake up"

Aaron's eyes flickered again, more this time. "Did you see it?" Chas asked again.

"Course I saw it I'm looking right at him" he told her with a laugh, he was so happy. "Come on mate it's Jackson, open your eyes...I know it's hard you've been asleep a while" he comforted him as he rubbed the back of his head gently.

Aaron frowned and groaned slightly then his eyes slowly opened, he didn't register the two people beside him, he just looked straight ahead until he'd adjusted slightly, although still dazed. He turned to Jackson then quickly shot his head back deep into the pillow.

Jackson frowned and looked at Chas.

"It's alright Aaron; you had an accident...just take it easy" Jackson told him.

Aaron's frown deepened and he struggled to speak but he swallowed a few times and then the words came, although slurred and stuttered. "I-I-I don't know who you are...either of you"

Chas moved closer while Jackson stepped back, his mouth open in dismay; shock was not the word, he felt the tears burn his eyes as they resurfaced.

_I'm never gunna hear it back _that was Jackson's first thought. Aaron didn't know who either of them were.

"It's alright love it's Chas you're mum...come on you've gotta remember me?" she spoke while trying to hold it together.

Aaron shook his head. "No, No..." he became quite agitated. "Get away I don't know who you are!"

Chas stepped away to give him space. It had begun.

Why couldn't they be one of the lucky ones?

She wiped her eyes quickly. "Jackson go and get the doctor..."

TBC...


	4. Fresh Outlook

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Fresh Outlook"

This fanfic continues the next day on from_ From The Heart_

_Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, it's appreciated so much! X_

...

Jackson walked up back up to Paddy's after getting a few things from the shop; he was tired and he hadn't slept much. Who would after realising their boyfriend didn't know who you were? It felt horrible, like the past seven months had no meaning and if he thought about it enough Jackson felt alone but when he thought more it wasn't him who was alone it was Aaron and he couldn't begin to imagine how he must feel. Jackson looked up when Marlon walked to him and they both stopped in the street.

"Is it true?" Marlon asked.

"What? That he doesn't know who we are?" Jackson nodded. "Yeah"

"Ahh mate I'm so sorry, what have the doctors said?"

"They uh..." Jackson sighed and frowned as he tried to think. "He just said that he'd calmed Aaron and told him what was going on, and that we're his family and that he shouldn't be afraid"

"That's something at least" Marlon replied.

"Yeah but you have no idea what we've all got to do now...works cut out for us..." he sighed.

"Gotta remind him who he is, where he's from...everything I suppose...you up for that?" Marlon wondered.

"I have to be. I love him" Jackson said with a nod. "Look I better go, got to get back to the hospital; gunna take some photos in and spend all day trying to remind him who I' am"

"Yeah sure, I'll let you get on" Marlon said quickly and started walking away.

...

Zak sat by Aaron's bedside. He'd only been in a minute or so. "I'm your Uncle Zak..."

Aaron nodded and pouted a little. "That's great and I don't mean to be rude or anything but it doesn't make any difference...well..." he frowned. "It might but..."

"Yeah I know I understand son, it'll take time that's all"

"So what you're like the head of the family then?" Aaron asked.

"Well I suppose yeah. I try to keep things in order... kept you in order a few times over the years aswell with the amount of things you've got involved in"

"Like what?"

Zak debated on telling him. "No maybe not yet eh? Another time, I imagine your brains going wild by just looking at me...suppose it's like when a car isn't starting, the motors going round and round but nothings getting through"

Silence fell upon them until Zak spoke again a few minutes later. "So is it just people and places you can't remember?" he asked.

"And events" he nodded. "History with people, oh and the doctor ran some tests and I can't write, read or count either...doctor said I just have to learn again...it's like being a baby" he sighed and rested his head back. "And he also said that the people who'll visit me are family and friends and my boyfriend" he frowned. "I wasn't expecting that but...it's scary all of it...I mean what happens when I get let out of here"

"Well you'll be home, where you're meant to be and you can start familiarising yourself with everything and everyone again"

Aaron nodded as the door opened and Jackson walked in. Zak turned and began to stand up. "Right then I better be off, oh and if you need anything or want anyone to talk too just tell them to call me alright"

Aaron nodded. "Thanks Zak" he didn't know the man but he got a sense that he could trust him.

"Cheers Zak" Jackson thanked him and Zak patted his hand on Jackson's shoulder as he passed and then left the room.

...

"So I'm gay then?" he asked with a nod. "Thought so when one of the junior doctors came in...phwoarr"

Jackson chuckled. "As long as you keep your hands to yourself matey I don't have a problem" he told him as he sat down.

"And you're my boyfriend" Aaron continued with a slight sigh.

"Yeah..." Jackson smirked. "Is that alright?"

Aaron looked like he was actually thinking about his reply. But really was it alright? He glanced over at the man sat beside him and nodded. "Yeah...I just need reminding about a lot of stuff though"

Jackson nodded. "I'm gunna help you"

"How? Because pictures aren't doing anything" Aaron told him in a frustrated tone.

Jackson then looked down at the bag beside him and rolled his eyes.

"And telling me stories about stuff won't"

Jackson reached out for his hand but Aaron pulled it away. Jackson swallowed hard and averted his eyes. "How do you know it won't help? They might you just might not be realising it and one day you might wake up and you'll remember everything"

"And I hope that does happen but right now I'm frustrated, I don't know anything, I don't even know me! Can you imagine what that's like?" he snapped.

Jackson lowered his head and shook it. "No" he replied quietly. "Look maybe I don't have to do anything, maybe once you're home we just start fresh and things will slowly come back"

"Do we live together? With Paddy?" Aaron asked.

"No, we did though...but we went through a rough patch after your dog Clyde died and I moved out...only been moved out a week or something though"

"Ah right...erm..." Aaron frowned. "Do I love you?"

Jackson sat up and looked at him strangely.

"What? You look like I've said something stupid"

"It's just a question I never thought I'd hear that's all...erm and the answer is I don't know, I told you I love you and I still do but I don't know how you feel and I guess now it'll be a long time until I do know..."

"Oh..." Aaron fell quiet. "I'm sorry"

"Nah..." Jackson shook his head. "Don't need to be" he then smiled. "All you need to know is that I'm here and I love every single thing about you, you're all I think about"

Aaron smiled warmly at Jackson and rested back into the pillow. "Oh I didn't get the story but by all accounts I get the impression I'm a bit of a bad boy" he chuckled.

Jackson laughed too. "You were from what you told me but you're not so much now, no...Now you're just moody, major attitudes going on oh and you scowl a lot"

Aaron chuckled. "Makes me wonder how you ever fell in love with me if that's the case"

"Yeah well you know...I like a bad boy" he winked. "But seriously I fell in love with you because of you it's as simple as that, there's no airs and graces with you, you just tell it how it is and you don't care what people think of you and I love that"

Aaron looked and listened intently to every word Jackson was saying and he felt warmed by his words and felt comfortable in his presence and he smirked and looked down at the bed sheet. He would love him, he wasn't committing to that thought but this version of Aaron could, he knew that much. He looked back at Jackson. "Maybe with a fresh outlook on things..."

Jackson smiled; he knew what Aaron meant. "No rush"

Aaron nodded slightly and smiled at him.

"Get some sleep, I'll be here" Jackson told him softly and reached for his hand to which Aaron didn't pull back this time and he rubbed the back of it with his thumb and pulled away a few seconds later to let him sleep.

TBC...


	5. Home?

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Home?"

This fanfic continues a few days on from_ Fresh Outlook_

_Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, it's appreciated so much! X_

...

Chas, Paddy and Jackson had been asked into the doctor's office to discuss Aaron's condition. "You're all aware of Aaron's current situation and I know it must be hard for you all, I and my staff ran further tests earlier this morning and it's clear from them that his ability to read write and count are still none existent. We hoped it would be temporary but it has been a few days now and he can't and from what he's told me he hasn't remembered anything yet either or had any flashbacks of any kind" the doctor explained.

Jackson lowered his head and shook it as he tried to contain his emotions for now. Chas moved closer as she wiped her eyes and placed her arm around him for comfort. "Will he ever retain any memory?" she asked.

The doctor replied a few seconds later. "I-It's possible but we can't say when or how it'll all come back, getting him home is the best thing for him now"

Paddy nodded. "Is he fit physically to leave?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, his injuries from the attack have been dealt with, he'll have a few bruises and cuts but he's out of danger"

Paddy smiled. "That's great"

"He'll be able to go home in a few hours; there'll be a hospital appointment once every month for him to attend counselling to see if we can jog that memory of his and to keep an eye on his progress. This is difficult" the doctor began as he focussed his attention to Jackson who still hadn't looked up yet, then he looked at Chas. "From your sons point of view he doesn't know you, histories with anyone, where he lives, who his friends are or what job he does for that matter, it won't be easy for any of you but you have to remember that. He's going home to strangers essentially..."

"Of course" Chas nodded.

"Right then, I'll get the appointments organised and processed and I'll come and find you when it's time for him to leave...in the meantime, get him ready to go" the doctor smiled.

Jackson stood up first and walked out of the office.

Chas sighed. "I'm sorry about him"

The doctor shook his head slightly. "No need, everyone copes in their own way" he smiled.

Chas nodded and both her and Paddy left.

"Jackson!" Chas shouted after him as she walked quickly to catch him up.

Jackson stopped and turned around to face her.

"Look love I know it's hard-"

Chas was cut off. "Hard? We have no idea what we're in for...I mean we all had a pretty good idea but hearing it officially from the doctor in there..." he sighed and looked away.

"I know Jackson but you have to stay strong" Chas told him and waited for a reply, which never came. "Alright, I need to say this now before we leave this hospital, if you can't commit to him, to this then you need to say so right now and leave Jackson because once he gets to know you again he'll start feeling things for you and if you bail then what's that going to do to him? I need to know Jackson"

"Chas?" Paddy interrupted.

"No Paddy I-it's alright" Jackson replied. "I'm not going anywhere Chas"

Chas smiled. "Alright then, good. Come on then, I think I'll let you spend some time with him then, get him sorted to leave while you're there" she smirked.

"Fine by me" he replied as they continued walking down the corridor to his room.

...

Jackson stood in Aaron's room packing away the get well cards. "There's some clothes here for you to get dressed into" Jackson told him as he picked them up and walked to the bed and put them down.

"Oh right, thanks..." Aaron said nervously.

"So are you looking forward to getting home?"

"Erm not really no. I don't know it do I so..."

Jackson sighed. "Sorry, stupid thing to say really"

"It's alright, I'm gunna get changed now so just don't turn around okay?" Aaron told him.

Jackson smirked. "I've seen it all before you know"

"What? Really? We've had sex?"

"Many times"

"Oh...Well for now just..." Aaron felt really awkward.

"Yeah yeah, I won't look" Jackson reassured him.

...

Paddy sighed as he stood in the kitchen of Smithy. "You know you don't have to leave Hazel"

"Oh of course I know love but Aaron doesn't need to be crowded right now and anyway Bob's alright with me moving in with him until things settle or I can find a place"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you're being pushed out"

"No Paddy this was my decision, I did it for Aaron" Hazel told him firmly.

Paddy nodded. "Alright then, I'll give you a hand with your stuff"

"No, no...Get this place sorted he'll be back soon"

Paddy laughed. "The place is sorted the only thing that isn't, is his room and I'm not going in there and besides I thought if it was left a mess then it might help him...strange way of thinking I know"

"Maybe but then again it may help" she smiled. "Come on then if you're offering"

Paddy grinned and grabbed what he could manage and followed her down the village to Bob's.

After they'd dropped off the first lot of her things, her phone beeped, she took it out – it was a text from Jackson. She smirked and chuckled. "The cheeky beggar" she commented

"What?" Paddy asked.

"It's Jackson, he says can I go round Andy's and get his stuff, and apparently it's only a few bags..."

"Oh yeah, he did ask about moving back in"

"Kids, good job I love him isn't it?" Hazel smiled as she typed a reply back to him. "Might aswell get his before my next lot"

Paddy nodded in agreement and they both set off again.

...

A while later, Jackson Chas and Aaron were stood outside at the front door of Smithy cottage. Aaron was quiet, he'd been quiet the entire journey back, it was expected though. He was looking around. "You alright Aaron?" Jackson asked.

Aaron frowned and nodded. "Think so"

"You see the garage down there?" Chas asked to which Aaron nodded. "That's where you work and the pub just down there is your local. Cain and Debbie live around the corner from the garage"

"Where does Zak live?" Aaron asked quietly.

"Oh erm..." Chas was surprised he'd asked that, it was unexpected. "They live out of the village, Wishing Well cottage it's called. They've been there years" she smiled. "It's not a long walk"

Aaron nodded and turned around and opened the door to the house and stepped in. He looked up the flight of stairs that immediately met him as he entered. He then walked further in, into the kitchen and he stopped with his back facing the window and he stood still. He felt scared, despite being told the people with him were nothing to worry about it didn't change how he felt.

Jackson walked up to him and Aaron could see this out of the corner of his eye and he told himself not to jump or react badly and he didn't as Jackson stopped close to him. "Do you want a drink or anything? Maybe something to eat?"

"What do I normally drink?" he asked.

"Tea or coffee usually" Jackson replied.

"One of those then" he replied as he reached out for the chair and pulled it out slowly so he could sit down.

Jackson smiled and walked around the table and walked to the kettle and started making some brews. "You want one Chas?"

Chas nodded. "Yeah go on then" she replied as she sat next to him. "How do you feel?" she asked.

Aaron shrugged. "A bit uneasy, frightened I suppose"

Chas placed her hand over his. "You don't need to be, all of us love you Aaron, there's nothing to be frightened of. I know it's strange for you but you're safe here" she nodded to him as she spoke.

Aaron began to smile a little and he nodded too.

TBC...


	6. It's What Counts

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"It's What Counts..."

This fanfic continues a few hours on from_ Home?_

_Thankyou to all of you who read these stories, whoever you are, wherever you're from, I love you all! x_

...

Jackson sat with Paddy and Chas in the living room, it was nine in the evening and it was cold, rainy and dark outside. The conversation in the room was slow. "I think I'll go see him...see how he's doing" Jackson told them as he stood. "I'll get the quilt out for down here while I'm up there" he smiled.

Chas nodded with a smile.

"Whenever you wanna get some rest we'll move, just say when you're ready" Paddy told him.

"Thanks Paddy, I'll see you both in a bit" he said before he started walking to the kitchen and then through to the stairs. Before he began walking up them he stopped and took a deep breath. Seconds later he was on the landing and he knocked on the door.

Aaron stopped what he was doing and turned and sat down on the floor. "Yeah?" he called.

Jackson took that as an invitation to open the door and he did and he popped his head in. "Hey, I was getting a bit bored down there with those two" he smirked. "Thought I'd come see how you are"

Aaron pouted. "I'm alright, been keeping busy...the room was a mess"

Jackson chuckled. "You've tidied your room?"

Aaron nodded with a slight smile on his face. "Yeah why?"

"Cause you never do" he told him.

"Oh well it needed doing anyway..." he told him then let out a deep breath and frowned a little, feeling hesitant about what he was going to say. "Y-you can come in you know"

Jackson's smile widened and he pushed open the door further and walked in, closing it behind him. Jackson walked over and sat next to him on the floor, resting back against the bed. "So, how are you? Really"

"I don't know Jackson, I see these pictures" he held some up from the pile he'd gathered while tidying and venturing around the room. "And I see me, I see you but there are no memories and I think it's sad and I feel sad for you, it must be horrible"

"Hey don't think about me alright, just concentrate on you, got a long way to go Aaron"

Aaron nodded. "I know" he sighed and placed the photos back down.

"Do you want me to help you with some stuff? Try and help you count if you want I mean I'm no teacher but how hard can it be?"

"Yeah alright then" he looked at Jackson and smiled.

"Right then...you got a pen and paper lying around here?" Jackson asked.

...

Jackson had written numbers on the piece of paper up to five, then written the word of the number beneath. "Alright...if this gets too difficult or it starts to frustrate you just tell me and we'll stop alright"

Aaron nodded with a smile.

"Good, so this number is one" he pointed to the number on the paper. "Listen to how I say it...Won...W..." he emphasised.

"But it doesn't look like a W"

Jackson smirked. "Yeah I know but its best I don't get too technical with it right now, would only complicate it...go on have a try...Won..."

Aaron frowned and let out a quick breath. "W-w-won, is that right?"

Jackson let out a laugh. "That's brilliant mate, that's exactly it...that's how the word sounds despite how it's spelt...alright let's try something...those photos..." Jackson said and reached over for a handful then placed five out on the carpet in front of them. "Right..." he then frowned as he realised that it was actually difficult. How would Aaron know how many one was? He shook his head slightly. "Right, listen carefully...one..." he tapped the first picture nearest him and carried on through them up to the fifth. Jackson looked at Aaron who was concentrating properly. "Pick out one photo" he told him.

Aaron quickly looked at Jackson and nodded he reached out.

"It doesn't matter which picture, it can be any as long as its only one"

Aaron was hesitant. "One..." he mumbled and he picked up a picture and Jackson's response told him he'd done it. Aaron felt like he was getting _something _back at least.

After a while Jackson had ran through all five numbers and Aaron had successfully picked out the correct number of photos all the way up to five. "I think we'll leave it there for now you should get some rest"

"I will...If you stay with me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah...you're my boyfriend, the pictures tell me that we were close, you took one of us in bed we looked cosy...mates don't do that..." he shook his head slightly.

Jackson smiled. "No they don't" he said as he began to stand. "I'll just go and get sorted" he told him.

Aaron smiled and watched him leave and then he set about tidying away the photos and the paper Jackson used to write down the numbers. He then took off his clothes and pulled back the duvet and climbed in; he stared at the ceiling and looked across to his window. Moments later Aaron's concentration was broken when Jackson walked back into the room and he turned to him, and saw him carrying a sleeping bag. Aaron laughed. "You're not sleeping on the floor Jackson"

Jackson looked down at the sleeping bag. "I-I just thought..."

"I know, you're just being considerate to me and my situation but if we're together then we have to start doing things couples do I suppose" he frowned.

"And there's a frown" Jackson said with a laugh.

"I've frowned loads!" Aaron defended.

"Yeah but that's a different one" Jackson laughed as he dropped the sleeping bag and started removing his clothes, revealing Jackson's toned body.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah...I'm attracted to you"

"Just for the body?" he raised an eyebrow at Aaron.

Aaron shook his head. "Nope, everything"

"Good" Jackson said softly as he walked over and climbed into bed next to him.

"Jackson..." Aaron said as he turned on his side to look at him. "I wanna know some stuff...everyone else has been dodging the subject and I don't want you too"

"Alright, what is it?" Jackson wondered.

"How did this happen?" Aaron asked as he looked into his eyes.

"Erm..." Jackson sighed. "You got into a bit of trouble...not so long ago you bought a car for the garage and tried to sell it...Pearl, she works with Paddy ended up buying it but you realised it had been clocked"

Aaron nodded as he listened.

"So you gave her money back and then another guy bought it, you were desperate to sell it cause you owed Cain money cause you used till money to buy it in the first place" he chuckled. "But anyway this lad Mickey bought it but he soon realised it had been clocked and he wanted his money back...he kept coming back to the village, and it put pressure on us...so I paid him back the money you owed him"

"You did? Why?" Aaron asked.

"Because you were gunna end up hurt..." he sighed and rolled his eyes realising the irony of that statement. "And I loved you I didn't want that to happen...one day you went round to his house with your dog Clyde, used Clyde to threaten him I guess...anyway you came home and a while later you found Clyde out the back lying on his side bleeding from injuries, Mickey came round and set his dog on him...Clyde died...things got a bit worse between us, because you wouldn't let it go and I moved into Andy's...to cut this long story a bit short we got back together and we had a night out in Bar West in town, it's a gay bar and Paddy and Marlon came and they had a laugh...we had a good night until you went outside for a smoke and you saw Mickey, I confronted you when I came looking for you, and again you wouldn't let it go..."

Aaron frowned. "What happened?"

Jackson started to feel himself become upset.

"Jackson?" Aaron asked softly.

Jackson shrugged as he started to cry. "I don't know because I left you...that's when you must have went after him but he got one better and that's how you ended up the way you are...suffered a blow to the head...brain damage" Jackson told him as he fought his emotions and wiped his eyes. "If I hadn't of left you..."

"Yeah if you hadn't of...who's to say what else could have happened...listen Jackson at least hopefully I'm not permanently a bit dumb..."

Jackson couldn't help but laugh. "You've always been that!"

"Oh now you're taking the mick!" Aaron pretended to be put out by his comment. "But yeah I've just gotta learn some stuff and I'll be fine, even if I don't remember stuff again, at least I'm seeing it all new...you know, kind of like I've been born again isn't it?" he asked with a smile.

TBC...


	7. Meltdown

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Meltdown"

This fanfic continues the next day on from_ It's What Counts..._

...

The following morning after Aaron bravely allowed Jackson into his bed, he woke up with only his time in hospital as his past, he frowned and turned on his side; Jackson was still asleep. He began watching him.

Moments had passed until Aaron had bucked up the courage and leaned down and kissed Jackson on his forehead gently. It didn't feel familiar to him, he was okay with it; he was making new memories.

"BREAKFAST!" Paddy yelled from downstairs which woke Jackson up.

"He does that every morning!" Jackson grumbled.

Aaron laughed. "Well breakfasts important so...we better get dressed" Aaron said as he pushed back the cover and got up and walked to his wardrobe and pulled out his clothes, joggers and a t-shirt.

"I'll look away while you get sorted" Jackson told him.

"No Jackson, I trust you...I just shared a bed with you, I'm sure I can change my boxers in front of you"

Jackson nodded. "You can" he said with a smile.

...

"Where's Jackson?" Paddy asked as he popped his head out the front door and looked at Aaron sitting on the seat.

"Erm...work I think...builder?" he asked.

"Correct!" Paddy said cheerfully and walked back inside to leave him to it.

Aaron smiled to himself and caught sight of the newspaper on the table, he frowned and reached for it and unfolded it to its full length. It was like he was looking at a foreign language and he sighed and vowed to concentrate. He placed the newspaper over his knees and leaned down and concentrated on it. "L-L-" he sighed then tried again.

Adam was walking up to Smithy and smirked when he saw what Aaron was trying to do.

"L-L-Lo...Loc-" Aaron frowned as he attempted to say the word out loud. "Loca" Aaron's frustrations grew and he threw the newspaper away from him and a few sheets separated and landed on the lawn, followed by the main bulk of the paper that had survived separation. Aaron put his head in his hands quickly and rocked slightly as he tried to calm down.

"What did the paper do to you?" Adam asked?

Aaron looked up, confused. "I-uh..."

Adam shook his head slightly and began to pick up the newspaper from the lawn. "Adam, I'm your best mate...I wanted to come to the hospital after you'd come around but I didn't wanna crowd ya..."

"Ah it's alright no problem" Aaron replied. "Where do you live then?"

"Butler's farm, not too far from the village" he told him with a smile as he placed the paper on the table. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Aaron nodded and stood up. "Sure, nothing much else I can really do"

"Ahh there is, just gotta get back into it"

"Yeah like what?" Aaron asked as they walked down the village.

"The garage...mechanics and stuff"

"Chas said I work there but I can't remember"

"Ahh that's alright mate, one step at a time" he smiled.

"Oh erm...if people start coming up to me would you kind of just move us on quickly? I'm not ready for it yet" Aaron asked.

"No problem" Adam told him as they walked.

...

Aaron stopped next to Adam and looked at the building in front of him. "What is this place?"

"This is the cricket pavilion mate, you've spent a lot of time here over the years, follow me I wanna show you something" he told him before running up the few steps.

Aaron was curious and he followed close behind him. Aaron stopped beside him at some railings. "What am I meant to be seeing?" he wondered.

"This" Adam said and looked down at the engraving Aaron had made years ago. "Aaron woz ere 2003" he said with a chuckle.

Aaron smirked and ran his finger along the engraved writing.

"See mate, to us there's no doubt but we understand that you may have doubts but whenever you are having them just remember this and know that you've always been here, this is your home"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Thanks for showing me this"

"I wouldn't be a very good mate if I didn't try to help would I?"

...

It was almost midnight and Smithy cottage was quiet and in darkness, everyone was asleep but Aaron. In his mind as he lay there staring at the ceiling flashes of images that needed to pieced together came to the forefront of his mind, he frowned it was all confusing. What were they trying to say, what were they and who were they? He hadn't told anyone but over the day the same thing had happened but not as intense as the flashes of images he was seeing now. He turned and looked at Jackson who was asleep. Aaron slowly pushed away the quilt and sat up, swung his legs out of bed, he shivered the air was cold. He wanted to get back in bed but he couldn't. He picked up his clothes and grabbed his hoody off the back off the bedroom door and opened it slowly and sneaked out. On the landing he quickly dressed as quietly as he could and then proceeded to creep down the stairs. Everything seemed louder in the silence, every quiet step, even his breath. He shook his head, he was frustrated, he needed to get out and if he woke them he wouldn't be able too. As he reached the bottom he unlocked the door, it clicked loudly and he cursed himself under his breath. He swung the door open and stepped outside quickly and shut it again but the door made a loud thud. Aaron ran down the village quickly, he could make as much noise as he wanted then and plus he needed to get away because if the door hadn't woken them something else as he'd made his exit might have.

Jackson began to stir, his arm moved to Aaron's side of the bed and once his mind was aware that there was no contact with Aaron, Jackson opened his eyes. He couldn't see his outline in the darkness and he felt the bed sheet had been pushed away on his side. Jackson jumped up, and got out of bed, he walked to the door and opened it, there was no light in the bathroom or in the kitchen, the only other place to check was the living room and surgery and he intended on checking before he had to wake Paddy and call Chas.

Aaron knew where he was going; he could see the outline of the pavilion from the light of the moon. He was running so fast, he didn't slow down at the steps and he fell up them banging his knee off the edge of the top step, he grabbed his knee and put pressure on it with both hands. He winced in pain and rocked back and forth to divert his mind away from the pain; it was safe to say it wasn't helping much but now that pain was the catalyst for the barrage of tears that fell from his eyes, because of the pain - not the physical pain he felt but the mental pain. He didn't know where he was, where his head was at, or who he was and the images he'd started to see confused him more.

"Paddy!" Jackson shouted as he ran back up the stairs. "Paddy! Aaron's gone! I tried cal- Paddy!" Jackson shouted more as he reached his bedroom door and banged on it.

"What! I'm coming, I'm coming!" Paddy replied groggily, seconds later he opened his bedroom door. "Are you trying to wake the village?"

"I don't care, Aaron's gone Paddy, I tried calling but he left his phone here, I-I rang Chas, she told me to get you up aswell, well I was going too anyway but you know what I mean"

"Alright" Paddy nodded, trying to get his head around this. "Alright, I'll put some clothes on, you start looking for him and I will too, call me if you find him"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah you too" he told him and turned around and bolted down the stairs and ran out of the front door and down the village.

...

"Aaron woz ere 2003" he scoffed. "Was I?" he asked himself. "Cause I don't remember, I mean what was Aaron like? Am I the same as him? Will I ever be? Would it be a bad thing if I was different than him, or a good thing? Who knows..." he spoke to himself as he cried.

"Aaron...is that you love?" Chas asked.

Aaron sniffled. "Come on love you've got me scared to death and it's dark..."

"Go away" he cried"

Chas started walking up the steps and shone her torch onto Aaron who was huddled in the corner leaned against the railings. "What you doing here kid?" she asked in a caring tone.

"I-I don't know..." he wiped his eyes. "It's all got too much" he told her.

"It's bound too but you pick your times don't ya" she smiled as she stepped closer and knelt down in front of him.

"Couldn't help it, I needed to get out" he told her. "The i-images..they only started earlier today...but when I got in bed they came back and I saw things and I saw people...I don't know who they are..." he swallowed hard and wiped his eyes, however that action was pointless as more fell. "I saw a man, in his forties maybe and a little boy, the man was playing with him, chasing him around the garden"

Chas instantly knew what this was and her emotions caught up with her quickly.

"And then the next I saw the boy being shouted at, and in these images it's always a man, I think it's the boy's dad..." Aaron frowned. "It seems to be anyway I'm not sure...but then a woman appeared...s-she had blonde hair..."

Chas shook her head slightly and closed her eyes.

"I think that boy was me" he had to catch his breath as he sobbed. "Are you really my mum?" he asked through tear-filled eyes.

Chas wiped away her tears and nodded. "Yes, yes Aaron I' am...our history is complicated...I didn't get to see you much when you were younger, you're dad he looked after you and he found someone else...t-the woman you saw...you hit her and your dad wasn't happy with you, you liked to get into trouble a lot...you visited but you hated me, and at one point I hated you too because I tried my best with you but it wasn't working, when you got older you moved here, you lived with Paddy and me until I left him for Carl but Paddy let you stay...we've always had a rough relationship me and you, you never let me in, you blanked me, if I tried to help, you'd shove it back in my face...maybe the reason you haven't saw me in those flashbacks is because somewhere maybe you don't want to be reminded of it all"

"Why my dad though if I haven't seen him in a while?"

Chas shrugged. "The mind is a funny thing son I can't explain it to you" she took a breath. "It was only until you came out as gay that we slowly started to be friends I suppose, some days you were still very much you but some days you'd let down your guard...this is going to sound so selfish of me" she let out a cry. "But in a way... I'm glad you can't remember things Aaron because we have a fresh start and I've got my son back and I love you, I love you so much...I always have despite leaving you as a kid and the mistakes I made"

"Why is this happening to me?"

"I don't know Aaron but you have to trust me, I'm your mum and I'm going to help you, I told you the other day, you're safe here nothing will happen, your among people who know you and who care...especially Jackson" she smiled. "He loves you with all his heart you know"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because he just does" she chuckled.

Aaron nodded. "I do trust you, the hospital wouldn't have let me go with you otherwise" he smiled a little as he cleaned himself up.

"True point that kid" she smiled.

"Think I just had a bit of a wobble" he said as he nodded his head to the side and chuckled.

Chas couldn't help but laugh; he really did make her smile. "Everyone has one every now and then"

Silence fell upon them in the darkness until Aaron spoke again. "I can count to five now, Jackson helped me" he told her quietly and the only response he heard was his mum crying.

"Oh love..." she leaned forward and hugged him tightly. "I'm so proud of you, do you know that? Now you've just got to keep going" she pulled away and nodded to him.

Aaron nodded back. "I will"

"Aaron!" Jackson yelled in relief just as he ran up the steps.

"I-I'm alright" he told him as Jackson fell to his knees and held him.

"Don't ever do that again, scared the life out of us all!"

"He's alright Jackson" Chas told him again

"I'm sorry I can't explain it, I just had to get out" Aaron explained.

"Come on we'll walk back, its freezing you'll catch your death out here" Jackson was concerned.

"Mother hen isn't he?" Aaron asked with a smile.

"Don't knock it son" she told him as she stood.

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah nothing wrong with it" he told Aaron as he got to his feet aswell.

Aaron stood when he had room to do so and he winced slightly when he straightened his leg. Jackson frowned, as did Chas. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"When I got here I was running and I ran up the steps but I fell up them and my knee hit the front of the top step, it killed" he laughed then gritted his teeth.

"We'll get some ice on it just to be sure" Jackson told him as he put his arm around him.

"You don't have to look after me you know" Aaron told him.

"I know but I want too"

Aaron looked at Jackson and smiled. "I just wanna get back in bed now"

Jackson nodded. "Me too"

While the boys chatted as they all walked back to the village, Chas called Paddy to tell him they'd found Aaron and gave clear instructions for the kettle to be boiled for a brew. She needed one.

TBC...


	8. I May Now Know, But Yet I' am Unaware

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"I May Now Know, But Yet I' am Unaware"

This fanfic continues a few days on from_ Meltdown_

...

Aaron was sat on one of the chairs outside Smithy cottage; his favourite place lately and was staring down at his bruised knee as he held his joggers up. He sighed and shook his head. "Idiot" he cursed himself.

"Oh what you done there lad?" Zak asked as he walked up the stepping stones.

Aaron looked up as he pushed down his joggers to cover his leg again. "Fell up some steps the other night, whacked into the edge of it" he rolled his eyes as he explained then he smiled at Zak. "Haven't seen you in a while" he commented.

"Ah" Zak nodded. "Yeah, yeah I just thought I'd let you settle in" he smiled. "Do you want to go for a drive?" he wondered.

Aaron pouted slightly as he quickly decided then he nodded. "Yeah" he stood up and winced a little, his knee was stiff and he had a pain every time pressure was applied to it as he walked. He followed Zak down to his van on the roadside and climbed in. "Where we going?" he asked as he put his seatbelt on.

"Home farm, something there that might jog that memory...you've been there a few times"

Aaron nodded.

...

Aaron and Zak had been walking in the woods for about ten minutes. "Zak" Aaron sighed. "Where we going? You haven't brought me here to kill me have ya?" he frowned.

Zak let out a laugh. "Noo, we're going to that place I told you about, just takes a while...well not really I just parked down there so you could loosen that knee up"

Aaron frowned again. "Ahh..." he replied quietly.

A few minutes later they had arrived and Aaron stared at it with a scowl on his face. "It's a shed" he said matter of factly.

"Your right there but it's not just any shed, its Seth's shed" he smiled and turned to Aaron and saw his confusion. "Way before you came here lad but you've been here...to hide out...and for other things I've heard"

"Like what?" he asked back quickly.

"Girls"

"Girls?" Aaron repeated.

Zak nodded. "Well I might have if I was your age, it's on home farm property but no one really comes here..."

Aaron thought about it and walked up to it; Zak watched Aaron as he opened the door, and he smiled to himself and followed him.

Inside Aaron was stood still just looking around carefully at everything, taking it all in. He frowned as images came to his mind. "V-" he sighed.

"You what?" Zak asked as he stood behind him.

Aaron turned around. "Victoria...I think I came here with her..."

"Like I said...girls"

"B-But I'm gay..." he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a photo of him and Jackson he decided to keep on him after he'd tidied his room. He stared down at it and seeing how close they both were reassured him. "But..." he sighed. "I know people can turn gay" he surmised.

Zak nodded. "Yeah"

"What was it like when I came out?" Aaron asked.

"Well you know, it was a shock to us all who didn't already know but you're family Aaron, we had your back, still do"

Aaron nodded. "How did it all come out?"

Zak sighed. He didn't want to say too much because it would lead to more questions. "You were up in court for ABH...you told the court you were gay, and the reasons why you did what you did, you got community service"

"What did I do?"

"I don't think I'm the best person to be telling you lad"

Aaron nodded. "Fair enough" he replied and pushed the photo back into his pocket and looked around again. "Might have even got drunk in here..."

Zak laughed. "Come on; let's go I'll show you around some more"

...

An hour or so later Jackson arrived home from work as Aaron was just getting back home himself. "Oh yeah, where've you been then?"

"Ohh you know a date with a hot lad" Aaron teased and winked.

"Oh" Jackson laughed. "No, that's not happened yet, that's later tonight...pub? If you fancy it"

Aaron stopped at the front door. "Hmm, erm...I dunno..."

"It's alright" Jackson placed his hand on his back. "Hot dates can happen anywhere. But seriously where've you been?"

Aaron gave a sarcastic nod. "Right, whose van have you just seen me get out of?"

"Zak's" Jackson replied.

"Ahh" Aaron rolled his eyes. "Well then there ya go Einstein"

Jackson smiled but he watched him intently.

Aaron frowned at him. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing" Jackson shook his head and he smiled. "Just saw the old you"

Aaron smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah...Oh listen it's your mums birthday in a few days...I knew you wouldn't remember so I bought a card, I'll write it out for ya, just thought I'd let you know" he said as they walked into the house.

"Erm, nah...I'll write it with your help obviously"

Jackson took off his jacket and put it over the back of the dining chair, pulled a pen out of his pocket and sat down. "Now?" he asked.

"Yeah why not?" Aaron told him with a smirk and he sat next to him.

Jackson gave Aaron the pen and opened up the card flat on the table and put his arm around Aaron and placed his hand around Aaron's hand and guided the pen for him as he wrote what he wanted too in Chas' birthday card.

Once it was done, Aaron didn't want to let the closeness he and Jackson shared go. He lowered his head and glanced to the side of him where Jackson was. Both now seemed to be caught in a moment and they stared at each other. "You're helping me so much, thank you" he told him and he moved in closer and closed his eyes and allowed his lips to touch Jackson's.

Jackson allowed the kiss and he closed his eyes as their lips connected. It felt so good to feel that again; to feel Aaron on such an intimate level. He felt warm and light and he kissed him back passionately with a little more force. Both were now sharing a long passionate kiss, lost in each other.

Both Jackson and Aaron jumped away from each other as the front door swung open and Paddy walked in. He knew what they had been doing; the shifty look in their eyes and the body language said it all. "Alright boys?"

"Yeah yeah good..."Aaron coughed as he replied as they both got up from the table at the same time. "Just uh...got some stuff to do so we'll see you later" Aaron replied quickly as they both walked to the stairs and then ran up them quickly.

Paddy chuckled and shook his head as the boys ran up the stairs.

...

Aaron and Jackson stepped up to the doors of the pub. "Listen Aaron, people don't understand what you're going through but they know and I don't think they'll start hounding you so just deep breaths and we'll go in, get our drinks and sit down"

Aaron turned to him and smiled. "Come on then" he said softly and made his way into the bar. His eyes scanned the bar quickly, all those faces, nameless faces to top it off aswell.

"Two pints please Diane and a menu"

Diane smiled and nodded. "Right you are, I'll bring them over...how you doing Aaron?"

"I'm alright" he told her.

"Good, I'm pleased for ya love"

"Come on" Jackson said and he started walking to a table.

Aaron frowned as he made his way to the chair.

Jackson walked around the table and watched him, it puzzled him. "What's that face for?"

"It's my bloody knee" Aaron complained and Jackson let out a laugh.

"Well it'll teach you not to do runners then won't it, I'll sort out an appointment can never be too sure"

Aaron sighed. "Ahh Jackson"

"What?"

"Stop it, you're doing so much for me and I haven't given anything back obviously apart from being here"

"And that's enough for me" Jackson reassured him.

Aaron smiled. "This is probably gunna come out the blue but why was I in court?"

"You remembered?" Jackson's eyes widened

"No no...I asked Zak how my coming out came about and he said I was in court but he didn't tell me why, said it wasn't his place or something"

"I was coming around here and it was making you nervous, one day we were sat in here and I just went to tap your arm and you jumped out of your skin and pushed me away then...then you punched me" he told him

Aaron frowned and lowered his head.

"I pressed charges, in a way I'm glad I did because it freed you from dealing with being gay alone but sometimes I wish I never did..."

"But if you hadn't we wouldn't have gotten close...I'm really sorry Jackson" he told him sadly.

"Hey, no it's alright" Jackson placed his hand over Aaron's and squeezed it.

"No it's not" he sighed and looked back at him. "How the hell can I go from feeling like I'm on cloud nine with you not even an hour ago and then now I feel like I've come crashing down? Everything's just a jumble, I dunno what the hell's going on anymore, I remembered a few things, Victoria for one and it confused me cause I'm gay but then I realised...things change and I 'am gay now and with you...I just want it all to come back, all the memories, no more confusion and I-I wish I could take that punch back because the way I feel towards you right now I have no idea what the hell I was playing at"

Jackson smiled as he looked into Aaron's eyes. "Your rant done?" he asked with smirked.

Aaron breathed and nodded. "Yeah, where are the drinks? I need one"

Jackson chuckled.

"Right here love" Diane said as she stood behind Aaron and placed the drinks down. "Enjoy"

Aaron turned round to thank her but didn't get chance too when he saw someone at the bar looking at him with the biggest smirk on his face. Aaron could tell the difference however between a smirk then that kind he saw then. Aaron frowned and bolted up from his seat. "Problem?" Aaron raised his voice.

"Aaron!" Jackson raised his voice too. When he didn't answer him he got up and walked over to him.

"No just find it amusing you don't remember a thing...when you do though you'll understand why I think what's happened to you is hilarious" Carl replied nastily, then turned back to the bar while Jackson grabbed Aaron by the shoulder and pulled him back to his seat.

"What?" Aaron asked angrily unaware he was about to be pushed back down hard into his seat.

"Sit! It's a long story but it's safe to say he's pretty much your worst enemy round here, stay well clear Aaron, I'm warning you" he told him quietly in his ear then walked back round to his seat.

Jackson sighed _Having sex in our bed one minute then an almost fight the next...nice to see he's still got that fire though _Jackson thought to himself.

TBC...


	9. Realisation

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Realisation"

I'm skipping this fanfic on a month or so to Christmas Eve 2010.

...

Aaron woke up in bed next to Jackson. "Mmm" he mumbled. "Morning you"

Jackson smiled. "It's Christmas!" he said excitedly.

"Ahead of yourself aint ya? Not till tomorrow" Aaron said with an amused frown. "Anyway shh lets just cuddle or something, I'm knackered!"

"Well you shouldn't have been up so late watching telly, did my head in waiting for you to come to bed, then I realised you weren't so I fell asleep"

Aaron smirked and leaned over Jackson's chest. "Yeah but...when I did come to bed it was worth it wasn't it?"

Jackson frowned. "I thought that was a dream" he couldn't help but chuckle

Aaron tutted and slapped his arm and turned over and lay on the pillow. Jackson laughed and turned on his side and snuggled right up to him, wrapping an arm around him and kissed his neck. "I was joking, it was perfect Aaron. I love you"

Aaron lay on his back and looked up at Jackson, intently into his eyes. It came, something inside him clicked and he knew what it was. He still didn't know a lot of his past and the fact he didn't know about not knowing love helped in this situation, he was clueless to the past. But now he was feeling it; it was raw, passionate and real. "I-I love you too Jackson"

Jackson smiled and kissed him passionately, once the embrace ended. Jackson spoke. "I wasn't dreaming again was I?"

"Oh you really are in a winding up mood aren't ya! No you weren't dreaming ya div! I love you, I love you, I love you...go on jog on to the shower or summat"

Jackson chuckled. "Only if you join me?"

"Hmm, I'll see" he winked as Jackson turned around and got out of bed. He looked back at Aaron before opening it to walk across to the bathroom.

...

Jackson and Aaron walked slowly down the village to the pub. "Listen, Jackson thanks for helping with the presents and stuff, I'll pay you back as soon as I can"

"Don't be daft, I'm your boyfriend Aaron, I know it's not been easy, all you knew how to do was mechanics, and I've seen you down there trying to learn and I've seen how frustrated you've gotten over it...Cain had a word and he told me...he told me" Jackson sighed, he'd gotten himself into a hole.

"What? Tell me?"

"No, it shouldn't come from me" Jackson replied.

"Well you've said a bit too much so spill" Aaron told him.

"Alright" Jackson sighed. "Cain said with or without brain-damage it shouldn't take you this long to learn the basics"

"Hmm" Aaron bit his lip and looked away. "Ah well...knew something just wasn't clicking...how do you feel being with a bum?" Aaron said sarcastically and looked back at him with an equally as sarcastic grin.

"Ah come on, you're not"

"Yes I'am Jackson, can't flipping do anything" Aaron argued back as he looked around the village as they walked, he stopped as he saw Carl. "Jackson" he breathed hard. "I swear to god, I've put up with his looks and snide remarks for the past month or so and I can't keep doing it...sort him out please or I will and if I do..." he shook his head. "It'll end badly" he promised.

Jackson reached out and gripped his shoulder supportively. "Hey you...turn around..."

Aaron did as Jackson said and turned around.

"Look at me"

Aaron looked back at Jackson.

"What's the matter? You were in a great mood when you woke up"

"Just another day where I realise I'm useless at something, and that everything is a blur and I can't remember much, never mind read, write or count oh yeah forget to ten, go me! Specimen of the perfect man I' am...you should be proud of yourself for pulling me"

"Oi!" Jackson raised his voice. "You're being too hard on yourself"

"Whatever" he huffed and stepped away. "I'll get the pints in" he told him as he walked away into the pub.

Jackson watched him go then crossed the street to where Carl was standing. "Look I don't know what you're game is _mate _but leave Aaron alone yeah? He's going through enough without you adding to his problems!"

"I'm not doing anything Jackson; something about me must just rile him"

"Yeah well wouldn't be the first time would it...like I said leave him alone, he doesn't need it"

"And if I don't?"

"Well then the alternative is Aaron...you and I have both been on his bad side, we know how it goes...might have forgotten who he is but violent tendencies are still there..."

"Are you threatening me?" Carl asked.

"No just informing you that if you carry on he'll blow" he told him matter of factly and turned and walked back across the road to the pub.

...

"Listen love, I don't wanna annoy you but what's wrong? You look really fed up?" Chas asked as she sat with him at the table he'd gotten after paying for his and Jackson's pints.

"Just..." He looked away as he shrugged.

"Just what love?" Chas asked softly.

"Jackson told me that Cain said it shouldn't take me this long to learn the basics with or without brain damage, and...And he's right you know, it doesn't seem hard but I'm not getting it"

"Maybe if you just keep trying?" Chas suggested to which Aaron shook his head.

"No, I'm just wasting Cain's time and mine...I need a job..." he told her.

Chas looked thoughtful. "Leave that with me alright? I'll see what I can do"

"Are you sure I should trust you with that?" he asked with a smirk then received a smack in the arm.

"Oww" he complained and rubbed it as Jackson appeared.

"Karma" was all he said as he joined and sat beside Aaron.

"You what?" Chas asked.

"Oh nothing" Aaron replied with a smirk, he knew what Jackson was meaning.

"Oh right then, well I'll leave you boys too it"

Both of them said their goodbyes and Chas left the table.

"So what was that all about?" Jackson wondered.

"Mum said she would see what she could do about a job"

"That's brilliant" Jackson said with a smile. "If all else fails...you can work with me..." he smirked, pretending to drift off into his thoughts of working with Aaron. Dirty of course.

"Are you joking? Nothing would get done" he laughed, as did Jackson.

Jackson rested back into the seat and placed his arm on the back of it around Aaron. "I just want you to know that it doesn't matter what you do Aaron, I won't think any less of you, I love you for you, it's basically as simple as that" Jackson told him from his heart.

Aaron smiled and leaned in closer and kissed him on his lips softly. "Thank you" he whispered.

"We are coming to the party in here tonight aren't we?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah definitely" he told him.

"Good, I hear its karaoke and I'm gunna get you so smashed to get up and sing..."

"Ha, yeah good luck with that matey"

Jackson smirked and took a sip of his pint.

...

Aaron and Jackson had been in the pub for a while enjoying each other's company and chatting about whatever came into their heads, they loved it and more importantly they loved each other, Aaron saw Hazel walk in and he stood. "Just need to talk to your mum"

Jackson frowned, he was curious. "Okay..."

Aaron walked away from the table and joined her at the bar.

"Oh hiya love, you boys want a top up?" she asked.

"Erm no we're alright thanks...actually I wanted to talk to ya...well" he frowned. "Ask you something really..." he said with a wary look.

"Ohh what is it? What you done?" she asked with a smile.

Aaron shook his head. "No, nothing..."

"Go on then!" she told him then looked at Jackson as he stood beside them.

"Oi! Will you give me a minute please, it's private!" Aaron told him.

"About me then?"

"Yes if you must know, go on back to the table please"

Jackson chuckled and turned around and started walking back.

"Thank you..." he said then looked back at Hazel. "Right here goes..." he leaned in close and began whispering into her ear.

Seconds later Hazel's eyes widened and her jaw dropped and she nodded.

Aaron chuckled at her response. "Well?" he wondered.

"Yes!" she laughed then calmed down a little, well tried too. "Of course" she told him and hugged him tightly. "You boy are getting another drink and Jackson of course, go on I'll bring them over"

Aaron smiled. "Thank you, Hazel" he said softly.

Hazel turned back to him and nodded.

TBC...


	10. The Gift

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Gift"

This fanfic follows on a few hours from _Realisation_

...

Jackson had been home with Paddy for a few hours, after having some drinks with Aaron. Aaron had not been seen or heard from for hours; he'd disappeared somewhere. Jackson stood in the kitchen all dressed up ready for the Christmas Eve party in the woolpack when Pearl walked in through the front door.

"Hello love, I brought this for you all for Christmas day..." Pearl explained as she walked into the kitchen holding a cake covered with film. Clearly her signature lemon drizzle cake.

"Mmm" Jackson mumbled. "I do love your cakes Pearl, but I don't want fattening up thank you very much" he grinned.

"Well i think you do, get some meat on those bones of yours"

Jackson smirked as he leaned against the bench. "I have all the meat I need, I'm happy with my body you know, and I have no complaints from Aaron"

Pearl smirked. "Well, I'm sure you don't but at least tell me if it's alright...see, I might have put a bit too much lemon in so it might be..."

"Sour?" Jackson asked.

"Yes, so feedback would be appreciated, and don't lie I'll only ask Paddy if you've had some"

Jackson chuckled. "I'll try it, I promise"

"Good" she said with a nod. "So where is that lad of yours anyway?"

"Gone. Been gone for hours, he's not answering his phone"

"Oh you know what he's like, last minute Christmas shopping I suppose"

"Hmm, yeah you're right" he smiled a little. "But I'll have to go to the party without him, starts in a minute"

"Well I'm sure he'll turn up and you'll have a fab time nonetheless" she told him with a smile as she turned to walk to the door. "I'll see myself out love, see you at the party"

"Yeah, see ya Pearl"

The door slammed shut seconds later. "Paddy! You ready yet?"

...

Paddy and Jackson were walking through the door to the pub as they talked. "I'll try ringing him again in a minute, getting a bit worried now" Jackson admitted.

"He'll be fine" Paddy reassured him as they entered the bar.

"Right! Who's next then please?" Aaron raised his voice over the music as he stood behind the bar of the woolpack serving.

Jackson stopped and instantly smirked. Then he let out a laugh and walked over to the bar. "Is this where you've been for hours?" he asked.

Aaron was stood pouring a pint and he turned to Jackson with a grin. "No. I was shopping for something, for you actually. Then my mum called and told me to get my backside to the pub, Diane's short staffed and could do with a hand for a while so guess I'm working now sexy"

Jackson smiled. "I'm happy for you, I really am...you aren't working the whole night are ya?"

"No, see that's the beauty of tonight, I'm working till ten then I have you all to myself"

Jackson smirked. "Well then barman, two pints when you've got a chance"

Aaron nodded and smirked. "Coming up" he replied as Diane walked behind him and rested on the bar and talked to Jackson.

"Hey, he's good at this mind I'm telling ya, picked it up really quick" she complimented.

Jackson smiled. "Gunna keep him permanently then?" he asked.

"Don't tell him but yeah...this is a trial but..." she turned and looked at Aaron busy serving. "He's brilliant, cheerful to customers, quick...bet you'd never thought you'd see him in here...I didn't either mind you"

"No I didn't but if he's happy, then I' am too"

Diane smiled. "Good, enjoy tonight love"

Jackson nodded and Diane went about her business.

Aaron put down two pints in front of Jackson. "Two pints as requested, four sixty please" he asked.

Jackson rummaged into his pockets and took out some change and handed it to Aaron and he watched him as he put the money in the till. "Come here a sec"

Aaron walked back and leaned over the bar.

"You have no idea how much this is turning me on" he whispered.

Aaron chuckled. "Later" he replied as he looked into Jackson's eyes.

...

_"Islands in the stream that is what you are..." _Hazel sang on the karaoke as she swayed from side to side as she sang.

Aaron walked out from the back as he put a pay packet in his back pocket, he felt useful and happy. He walked round the bar and rolled his eyes at Hazel up on the karaoke. He saw Jackson sitting at a table looking so embarrassed. Aaron laughed as he sat beside him. "Hey I missed you" he said as he rummaged into his pocket and took out the packet again and handed it to Jackson. "I dunno how much I got but it should be a start to paying you back"

Jackson looked at it then at Aaron and shook his head. "I don't want it back Aaron, I told you...keep it, you earned it" he told him as he leaned closer and kissed his forehead.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I' am now put it back in your pocket"

Aaron smiled and nodded as he did what Jackson had said as applause filled the pub as Hazel finished singing. She gave a bow and stepped down laughing and walked over to the boys' table.

"Mum, don't ever do that to me again" Jackson told her bluntly.

"Oh lighten up will ya its Christmas, I'd like to see you try" she told him as she sat down.

"No chance" he told her.

"No but I will, put my name down hours ago" Aaron told them which shocked the hell out of both of them.

"You'd never have done that!" Jackson gasped.

Aaron raised his eyebrows and grinned as he stood up.

"Come on then Aaron!" Bob called over the microphone.

Applause filled the pub again as Aaron stepped onto the small stage that Diane had set up.

"Did you know about this?" Jackson asked as Chas joined them.

"Yeah" she said with a nod. "I was surprised too, he's not the same Aaron but yet he is"

"True...what's he singing?"

"Something for you" Chas told him.

"Oh god I'll be embarrassed again" he laughed as he took a drink.

"No you won't" she shook her head while smirking.

"Right then everybody, this is for someone special who has been there for me and helped me in more ways than I could ever think of...truth be told I can't remember how I used to be, whether I was soppy or open romantically but anyway I guess I 'am being now so...this is for you Jackson"

"God I'm gunna cry" Jackson mumbled as he watched his boyfriend and the song started.

Hazel placed her hand over his; and plus she knew what was coming aswell, she had tears in her eyes.

"Today this could be, the greatest day of our lives. Before it all ends, before we run out of time...Stay close to me, Stay close to me...Watch the world come alive tonight...Stay close to me" Aaron sang and to everyone's surprise he was actually quite good and they cheered and applauded again.

"Come on lad!" Adam yelled in support.

Aaron smirked and shook his head at him, then looked back to Jackson. "Tonight this could be the greatest night of our lives..." he nodded. "Let's make a new start. The future is ours to find. Can you see it, can you see it in my eyes. Can you feel it now, can you hold it in your arms tonight?" he sang.

A few minutes later, Aaron was tearful and he waited until the music was dying down. "Now, I have one more thing to do and to tell you all the truth, I'm scared to death...but..." Aaron rummaged around in his pocket and took out a small box.

Jackson frowned and looked to Chas then his mum, Chas was gobsmacked. Hazel just smiled and gave Aaron a nod. Jackson's heart skipped a beat and he swallowed hard. "Jackson Walsh" Aaron breathed and stepped off the stage and started walking to him. "Would you do me the honour of marrying me?" he asked with honesty and sharp emotion. Everyone listening could tell how much Aaron loved Jackson.

TBC...


	11. Complications

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Complications"

This fanfic follows on immediately from _The Gift_

_A topic I know quite a bit about :) Enjoy! Thanks for reading and reviewing guys x_

...

All eyes were on Jackson, everyone in the pub was waiting for his answer to Aaron's proposal. Jackson's eyes were wide, he swallowed hard and his heart began to beat quicker than it ever had. "What?" he managed to say albeit a bit hushed due to his shock.

Adam looked on he was nervous for Aaron.

Aaron frowned slightly, still holding the microphone in his hand. He took a breath. "I said will you marry me?" he asked again.

Chas gave Jackson a nudge, shoulder to shoulder. "Jackson, you can answer him you know..." she said with a smirk.

Jackson looked quickly at Chas, then at his mum who nodded eagerly at him. Then he looked back at Aaron and nodded. "Yes...Yes..." each reply louder than the last. "Yes!" Jackson let out a laugh as he stood. "Of course I will" he told Aaron and placed his hands on his face and kissed him passionately.

Everyone immediately began to applaud and cheer. Music began to play throughout the pub again. Both men parted and looked into each other's eyes. "I thought you were going to say no..." Aaron told him.

Jackson smiled. "When have I ever said no to you?"

Aaron pouted and looked thoughtful. "I dunno...can't remember can I? But since the hospital...never" he smirked.

"Well then...No, I mean it Aaron I love you so much I want to be your husband, nothing would make me prouder, you're everything to me."

Aaron nodded and looked down to the box in his hand, he opened it and picked out the plain platinum band and then took Jackson's hand in his and placed the ring on his finger. Jackson became teary and nodded at Aaron.

Aaron leaned in and kissed him again.

"If you lads are finished..." Adam spoke and both of them turned and looked at him.

"Come here you!" Adam said with a grin and pulled Aaron into a hug. "Congratulations mate" he told him then pulled back and hugged Jackson aswell. "So happy for you mate"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "Thanks mate"

"I'll catch you both in a bit, if I don't move it looks like your mums will be pushing me out the way" he said with a chuckle before leaving them too it.

After a few minutes Hazel and Chas had congratulated the boys then left them too it. Aaron and Jackson now stood at the bar, Jackson was shocked but in a good way, he was engaged to the man he'd loved since the first time he saw him in bar west. Yes, it hadn't been easy for them but sometimes bad things led to good things and in this case Jackson believed it truly had. Jackson thought about how things would have been if Aaron had retained his memories and he knew for a fact that Aaron would not have proposed to him on that night or any night after.

"Jackson?" Aaron spoke.

Jackson came out of his thoughts and looked at him with a smile.

"Are you alright?" Aaron asked.

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine just so happy...can't believe its happening"

"Well believe it..." he said and caught Diane's eye. "Two pints please Diane"

Diane nodded. "On the house, congratulations lads"

"Thank you" Jackson replied.

...

A few hours later, the party was dying down but the music was still going, a lot of people had left leaving a few in the pub. "So..." Cameron said. "Hitched eh?"

Jackson nodded. "Yep" he smiled. "Speaking of...where the hell is he? Keeps doing a disappearing act"

Cameron shrugged. "No idea...oh there he is"

Aaron came walking back into the bar, with a frown on his face.

"See you both later" Cameron said and walked away.

"You alright mate?" Jackson asked.

"Hmm" Aaron nodded as he stood at the table.

"You've been in there a few times, what's up?"

"Gotta banging headache, been sick a few times" Aaron shrugged as he explained. "Sorry Jackson, I've ruined tonight"

"No, no you haven't" Jackson reassured him as he stood as he put his arm around him. "Probably too much to drink that's all"

Aaron smiled quickly as he nodded. "Yeah probably, can we go home please?"

Jackson nodded and kissed his forehead. "Sure" he told him and they headed out of the pub.

Jackson waited a few seconds hoping the fresh air would help him a bit. "How do you feel now?"

"Weak" Aaron simply stated.

"Weak?" Jackson asked and Aaron nodded.

"Yeah"

"We're nearly there..." Jackson reassured him.

Aaron shook his head and smirked as he looked at the pavement as he walked back up to Smithy. Everything around him began to spin and blur, it wasn't the alcohol, and he hadn't drank too much anyway. He'd had a niggling pain all day but thought nothing of it. But now the pain was immense he'd never felt this before, this was new to him and he didn't like it. He found himself walking still, but his hands reaching for the pavement. He frowned. "J-Ja...Jack..." Aaron stuttered.

Jackson stopped and turned around, and saw him falling to the floor. He frowned and walked back to him. "What you like eh?"

"No, Jackson, think about it I've hardly drank anything. I don't feel right"

Jackson put his arms around him and moved him up against the stone wall outside the grange. He began to panic but tried not to let it show to Aaron. "How? What's wrong?"

"Head's pounding and everything's spinning..." he gagged and quickly turned away from Jackson and vomited.

Jackson looked on sympathetically then he heard a door open, he stood up enough to see who it was. He rolled his eyes. _This is all I need _he thought.

"What with all the commotion? I've got guests inside. Do you know what time it is?" Val asked bemused.

Before Jackson replied another spell of vomit came from Aaron. He sighed. "Val I-..."

"And you can make sure he cleans that up right now, if my guests see that..." she pointed at Jackson

Jackson sighed. "Will you listen to me...?" he raised his voice.

Val was taken a back and went quiet.

"I need you to call me an ambulance" he told her.

"An ambulance?"

"Yes! Please. Now!" he urged.

Val turned and hurried back inside.

Jackson knelt back down in front of him and he frowned. Aaron's eyes were closed. He shook him. "Aaron!"

Aaron didn't react.

...

Gennie stood in the living room after not being home long. "I think I drink too much" she told Katie who just replied with a laugh. Gennie walked to the window and looked out. "Pub looks quieter now, then she frowned. "Somethings going on up there"

"How do you mean?"

"An ambulance"

"What where?" Katie asked as she walked to the window, once she saw it she walked out the house and up to see what was going on.

"Jackson?" Katie called.

Jackson looked at her, he was crying. "Uh...I-it's Aaron; can you let Chas know for me please?"

Katie shook her head. "Yeah sure..." she told him and ran back inside to grab her phone.

"Who was it?" Gennie asked.

"It's Aaron, Jackson looked beside himself, he asked me to let Chas know" she explained as the call dialled.

In the ambulance Jackson was sat with his head in his hands. He listened to the paramedics but he didn't know what any of it meant. "What's wrong with him?" he asked.

"We might know but we can't be sure until we get him to the hospital"

"Well what is it?"

"All I can say is from what you've explained and from what I've examined so far, it may be that Aaron has some kind of build up on the brain. Now" he continued before Jackson could speak. "I can't say for certain; we are moving as fast as we can and if it is a build up then he's in capable hands"

Jackson sighed and looked at Aaron unconscious on the stretcher.

...

Jackson was left waiting in a corridor; all they had told him was that Aaron had to be taken straight to surgery. Jackson was worried, his eyes sore and red from crying. He just looked down at his engagement ring and it brought on the tears once again. What was wrong with him? Why him? Why them for that matter? Jackson shook his head; he had no idea.

It seemed like forever until someone came in the form of family. Chas rushed in with Paddy asking all sorts of questions.

"Chas, give the lad a minute I'm sure he'll answer you" Paddy told her and Chas nodded and waited.

"He said he'd been sick a few times in the pub and that he'd had a bad head. We started heading to Smithy when he was reaching for the pavement, he said everything was spinning...and he was sick outside the grange, Val came out had a go but I told her to call an ambulance; when I looked back at him he was unconscious. The ambulance came and the paramedic said from what I told him and what he examined he might have some sort of build up on the brain"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chas snapped.

Jackson shrugged. "I wish I knew Chas"

"How long's he been in surgery?" Paddy asked.

Jackson let out a breath. "Since we got here, about half an hour"

"I'm going to find a doctor" Chas told them and marched off.

Jackson sighed. What good was that going to do?

...

An hour later after Chas had failed to get any news on her son a doctor walked across to them. "Aaron Livesy's mum?" she asked.

Chas nodded.

"Can I have a word?"

Chas nodded again. "Yeah it's alright they're close family, please tell me what's happening?"

"You're son has developed a condition called hydrocephalus"

"And what's that?" she asked.

"A normal term for it would be water on the brain, it's fluid that the brain produces that helps cushion itself and the spinal cord, and somehow the flow of this liquid to the spinal cord has been blocked, in turn putting pressure on the brain; this can happen for no reason whatsoever but we have seen your son's records and we are investigating to determine whether it's linked to his previous accident"

"O-o-okay, how do you treat it?" Chas asked.

"At the moment the only option we see fit to do is to insert a shunt inside your sons head, it will re-route the fluid to his stomach where it can be absorbed properly without any blockage, there are risks however that there could be infections"

Chas nodded. "That comes with everything though right?" she asked.

The doctor nodded. "We've caught this early, if left untreated your son could have died in a few weeks, and the symptoms would have worsened"

Chas nodded. "I-I'm grateful doctor, when can we see him?"

"In an hour or so, surgery is just finishing up then he'll be transferred to aftercare, I'll come for you when we're ready"

"Thank you" Chas replied and the doctor walked away.

Chas leaned forward with her elbows resting on her legs. She sighed, she was scared, tired and sobering up slowly. "Merry flippin' Christmas" she mumbled to herself.

Jackson simply sat turning the ring on his finger. He wouldn't take his eyes off it but he knew Aaron was going to be okay. It soothed him. He'd have him back again then he swore he wasn't letting him out of his sight anymore, Aaron wouldn't like that but a man could try.

TBC...

TBC...


	12. Home Once Again

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Home Once Again"

This fanfic follows on a few days from _Complications_

...

Aaron's operation had been a success and he had woken up late on Christmas day, the bandage around his head where the shunt had been inserted had to remain on for another few hours. Jackson sat with him, he'd only left the hospital once to get a shower and get into a change of clothes. He smiled when Aaron smiled at him. "It's weird, I have this tube thing in my head and I can't feel it"

"Suppose that's a good thing though?" Jackson asked. "Even though it runs down the side of your neck and down your chest..."

"Yeah I suppose, if it helps keep me alive then I'm all for it" Aaron nodded.

"Don't suppose brain surgery brought any memories back then?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

Aaron chuckled and shook his head slowly. "Afraid not, no"

Jackson frowned. "You scared me to death"

Aaron reached for Jackson's hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry"

"Noo, don't be silly, you couldn't help it. You didn't know what was wrong"

"Yeah I know"

Jackson smiled. "So, the other day with my mum, what were you talking about?"

Aaron smirked. "I was asking for her permission"

"You what? Really?"

"Yeah. And she said yes and then the rest you know and you still wanna get married don't ya?" Aaron quickly became worried.

"Of course I do, I love you ya muppet...mind you we should rent out a suite in this place, the amount of times we're here" Jackson said with a laugh.

"Oh don't I feel bad enough"

"I'm joking" Jackson replied.

"I'm not, I've ruined our engagement and I ruined Christmas day, mum and Paddy were here all day yesterday, Adam came to visit, even Debbie..." he sighed.

"Stop getting yourself worked up"

Aaron tutted and frowned. "Wanna do some numbers? Reading?"

"No" Aaron told him bluntly, angry with himself.

"And my mans in one" Jackson grinned. "Fine, suppose I could just tickle ya"

Aaron sighed. "Jackson, seriously" he complained.

"Alright, alright, should I go?" he asked.

"No, course not, I'm just tired that's all"

Jackson nodded; he understood that. "Well get some rest and you'll be home before you know it"

...

It was now the 27th December 2010, Aaron had been in hospital for four days, but now was allowed home; his head bandage had been removed and the stitches along his hairline just up from his right temple were now visible and so was the shunt along the side of his head which circled around and down behind his ear, down his neck over his collarbone to his stomach.

"Their itching" Aaron complained as he walked to the door of Smithy.

"What are?" Jackson chuckled.

"The stitches, both sets"

"What were you told? Hmm?"

"Yes I know! Not to scratch or touch them for that matter"

"Well then do as your told" Jackson told him with authority as he opened the door to Smithy.

Aaron stopped in his tracks as he entered the kitchen to see Chas, Paddy, Pearl, and Adam gathered around the table. "Merry Christmas!" they all said happily.

Jackson leaned into Aaron and spoke in his ear. "Christmas is just a day, in special cases it can be anytime" he smirked.

Aaron turned to him and smiled. "Well then where are my presents?"

"They've got them, and yours for them are under the tree in the living room"

"Oh yeah what about yours for me?" Aaron asked.

Jackson smirked and bit his lip, looking intently into his eyes – he was trying to behave himself in front of the others. "You get yours later" he told him and walked further into the kitchen after taking Aaron's bag from him and putting it down.

Aaron was impressed and he looked forward to it. "You lot didn't have to do this you know"

"Well tough, we wanted too, now sit down you, you're only out cause I told him you had a lot of people around to help" Chas told him.

"You say that as if it's a lie" Aaron smirked.

"Noo, I just don't want anything happening to you so that you have to go back, been there too much these past few months" Chas told him as he sat down.

"Alright lad?" Adam asked.

"Yeah I 'am now after seeing your gorgeous face" Aaron replied and flashed a grin.

"Oh aye..." Jackson chirped in as he unpacked the bag.

"Only have eyes for you Jackson" Aaron replied seriously.

"What are you boys like?" Pearl shook her head. "Ohh, Jackson did you try my lemon drizzle?"

Adam frowned at Aaron and Aaron just shrugged, he had no idea what they were on about. Paddy just watched smiling.

"So how does it feel?" Paddy asked.

"It doesn't" Aaron replied.

"But it's visible" he added.

"Doesn't bother me" he shrugged. "How've you been anyway?"

"Oh er- ye-yeah good, cheers mate"

"Thanks for staying all day Christmas by the way, must have been so boring"

"Nah it was alright" Paddy told him. "Although they don't do a very good Christmas dinner"

"Ugh! No that stuff...I don't know what it was but it wasn't turkey! And the veg? Just mush...could have done better myself!" Chas told them with a disgusted look on her face.

"Yeah you probably could actually" Aaron curled up his lip and nodded.

"Hey you, I can still slap you!"

"Go on then" Aaron challenged.

"No. You look too delicate to be honest love" she said seriously as she stood up. Jackson and Adam both laughed without looking at him.

"Right so, shall we get a little more comfy in there...the tree, decorations, lights...a warm fire...and presents!" Chas asked quickly and made her way in.

Pearl and Paddy followed her and Aaron got up from the table, as he began to stand, Adams hand gripped around his arm and helped him up.

Aaron looked at him and smiled. "Cheers mate" he told him softly as he found himself looking right at him.

Adam pulled his head back a little, frowning. "You alright mate?"

Aaron scoffed, and then he nodded and looked away quickly. "Yeah sure, just been a long day...kinda zone out every now and then" he lied.

"Well just make sure you take it easy right?"

Aaron smiled and watched him again as he turned away from him then continued into the living room. Chas was right, it was cosy.

"Is he alright?" Jackson wondered.

"Yeah I think so mate, he must be tired that's all"

Jackson nodded. "And now hopefully, we can just live normally like a proper couple"

"Could take some time though" Adam told him.

"Yeah" Jackson nodded. "Let's go in before he thinks we've left him with them"

Adam chuckled and followed him through to the living room.

...

Jackson moved from on top of Aaron and lay next to him holding him close. His breathing was heavy and Aaron smiled just listening. "Was that my present?" Aaron joked.

Jackson shook his head. "Nope..." he kissed his neck then lifted up and reached behind him to his drawer and took out a key and he held it in Aaron's view.

"What is it?" Aaron asked.

"A key"

"Yeah I know that, what for?"

"Our house" Jackson told him softly. "Do you want to move in with me Aaron?"

"Yeah" Aaron nodded, he was well and truly surprised he was stuck for words. "Where's our place then?" he asked with a smile.

"Down the road, the house I was working on for Declan, I said I wanted it and we came to an agreement for the rent and it's ours, can move in after the New Year"

"Wow" was all Aaron said.

"I know, and I know it's all quick but I love you Aaron, we can't live here forever, I know how much you love Paddy and this place but you'll still see him"

"I know" Aaron nodded. "I said yes, I'd love to move in with you"

"Good" Jackson's smile was wide, and he leaned in and kissed him passionately again. Aaron rolled on top of him kissing him.

"Hey you've got to take it easy, you've not long since had brain surgery – again!"

"Yeah and I know when to be careful, or can you not handle a second round?"

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "Go on. Find out then" he winked.

"I intend too" Aaron told him softly as he began to kiss down the centre of Jacksons' toned torso and stomach and then some...

TBC...


	13. Flashbacks

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Flashbacks"

This fanfic follows on a few days from _Home Once Again_

_Aaron & Adam centric chapter, enjoy! I have hinted on something previously, going to see it through :) _

...

Aaron and Adam were both sat at the bar in bar west; Aaron sighed as he lifted his orange juice and took a sip. "I love him Adam I do, but I've been in that house for days and he has a go at me for wanting to go out, I even told him I wouldn't drink, and am I?"

Adam shook his head as he finished his third pint. "No, mate you aren't"

"Exactly!" Aaron sighed again, frustration in his tone. "There was no need for him to go off like that and to start world war three, is he surprised I stormed out?"

"Well I think he would be I mean come on Aaron, you've been out of hospital two days, the stitches are still there, and it's swollen...massively"

Aaron shot a look at him. "Whose side are you on?"

"Ah mate, come on...yours, I would have made you stay in otherwise, I know you're not gunna get into any trouble"

Aaron shook his head with a frown. "No, I'm not...get some shots will ya...you can drink them and I'll have the fruit"

Adam frowned. "Okay then" he ordered a few shots and they were poured in front of him. Aaron reached over and took the slices of lime from the glass and nudged Adam. "Go on then"

Adam chuckled and downed the first one, as soon as Adam had drank it, Aaron bit into the lime and let out a deep breath. Adam drank the second and Aaron bit into the other lime.

"Not quite the same is it mate?" Adam asked amused by the dissatisfied look on his mates face.

Aaron shook his head. "Nope..." he said with a sigh. "Just going outside, bit hot in here" he explained as he stood up.

"Want me to come with you?" Adam asked.

"No, I'll manage; if I'm not back in ten then you can worry"

"Oh don't say that will ya bloody hell" Adam sighed.

"Chill mate, get pissed or something, you might aswell enjoy yourself, stop worrying about me, everybody is and to be honest I'm getting a bit sick of it" Aaron told him to the point.

Adam nodded. "Okay I might just do that"

Aaron watched him turn back to the bar and smiled as he did. He then realised what he was doing, he averted his eyes and quickly turned and walked towards the doors.

...

Aaron stood outside with his hands in his pocket and he looked up to the night sky. He looked back around the main street; a lot of people were around, it was getting closer to New Years Eve. As Aaron looked around, he stopped and in his mind he saw flashes of images, a blurred face but a very clear large thick block of wood and he heard screaming, it was from pain. Aaron frowned and he started walking across the road to where he was looking.

A car swerved to avoid Aaron and they beeped as they passed him. Aaron seemed oblivious to it. He stepped onto the path and stood in front of the alleyway. He looked down at the ground and he saw himself unconscious, bleeding and beaten to death – almost. Aaron shook his head and blinked, he put his head in his hands. "What is this?" he asked himself. "It's never happened like this" he panicked and opened his eyes and turned away from the alley, he breathed slowly to try and ease the panic he felt inside. He frowned; trying to understand it all, there wasn't much to understand, what he saw was easy to explain. Aaron had undergone a flashback of what made him the way he was. And in that second he felt a pang of anger, he wanted the face to not be blurred; he wanted to know who did it. He rested against a wall. He resigned to the fact that it wasn't going to happen. He was the way he was, getting revenge on someone wouldn't change that.

Aaron stepped away from the wall and walked back over to bar west. Aaron looked into the windows down into the bar and saw Adam sitting. He smiled again, whenever he looked at him he got a feeling within him, it was familiar but so strange. He had felt it before, a kind of admiration and love for Adam. But there were many types of love; he had an idea which one it was, he couldn't help it. Aaron had not once had a flashback of him and Adam; he knew nothing about their history apart from what he'd been told.

Adam hadn't told him about the attempted kiss.

Aaron knew there was something between them, Adam was straight Aaron knew that but it didn't stop how he'd felt now for days, the constant staring. He even had to lie to cover up the staring. Aaron sighed, his mind was in overdrive. "Shut up Aaron" he mumbled as he walked back inside.

...

Adam wrapped his arm around Aaron as he walked back to him. "I'm drinking too much" Adam admitted.

"Well slow down then"

Adam nodded. "Let's get a comfier seat eh lad?"

Aaron smiled and let Adam go ahead to find a softer seat at a table. Aaron sat beside him seconds later and Adam spoke. "You'll be alright you know..." he said softly.

Aaron turned and looked at him.

"I did some research and you can still live a normal life with your condition" Adam told him.

Aaron smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah, I know...it's just weird that's all, it's all I see when I look in the mirror, the lump on my head...whatever it's called, and the tube under my skin around my head and down my neck...m-me and Jackson were...you know and he was being gentle and kissing down my chest but I felt it I felt every single brush against it, but I don't feel a difference" he shrugged and took in a deep breath and looked around the bar again.

"But it is making a difference..." Adam said softly. "Look at me mate"

Aaron turned and looked back at him.

"Because you're still here, no sickness, no symptoms...it's doing its job and I'm glad, I don't wanna get soppy cause I'm drunk but your my mate and I love you and if anything had happened to you like it almost did a few months ago I dunno what I would do to be honest mate"

Aaron nodded, and smiled. "I know" was all he said. "Something came back to me when I was outside" he admitted.

Adam perked up. "Like what?"

"The attack, I couldn't make out his face but I saw what he used...a piece of wood can you believe" Aaron scoffed. "Then I heard screaming, and I saw myself laid on the floor" Aaron became teary and he wiped his tears away.

Adam reached out to place his hand on his shoulder but Aaron flinched away. "Don't"

"Why mate?" Adam asked.

"Because you have a massive effect on me and I like it...I shouldn't..."

Adam frowned. "What you on about? Mates have an effect on each other if that's what you mean?"

"No" Aaron shook his head. "It's not. I get the impression there's more to our history than you've let on. I don't know what but I feel it, it's strong..." Aaron looked away. "I-I think I love you Adam..." he told him as he turned back to him and looked him in the eye, confusion in his expression.

TBC...


	14. In The Blur

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"In The Blur"

This fanfic follows on **immediately** from _Flashbacks_

...

Adam looked at Aaron instantly with a deep frown and he moved his head back slightly. "You what?"

Aaron shook his head. "I-I shouldn't have said anything" he told him quickly before bolting from the table and making a run for the exit.

Adam had to go after him, he couldn't leave him, and he'd promised Jackson he wouldn't. He was shocked by Aaron's confession but why did he love him or think he did. Adam was flattered but they both knew that he was straight. From another man's perspective Aaron was very good looking, of course Adam had never thought properly into it but he knew his best mate had been given some good genes in the looks department. It wasn't 'gay' to think that, Adam had never been embarrassed by it. It was just the truth.

They were mates and he wasn't going to let what had just happened ruin that. Adam got up from the table and left the bar, once outside he stopped and looked around for him, he couldn't see him. Adam walked along the footpath for several metres before he saw someone by some large bins beating them with his fists. Adam closed his eyes briefly, it was him. He ran over quickly and pulled him away harshly. Aaron uncontrollably swung around and knocked into a brick wall and slid down it. He breathed heavily as he tried to get his breath back. The pain in Aaron's eyes was clear for Adam to see, as were his blood covered knuckles.

Aaron stood up looking Adam in the eye as his breathing calmed slowly.

"What the hell are you doing Aaron!" Adam yelled loudly as he stared at him.

"I got angry" he said before wiping his nose with his sleeve. "See...I've done that before, hitting the bins, I remember now..." Aaron then moved quickly and pushed Adam up against the wall and restrained him by placing his arm across his chest. Then as he looked into his eyes he started to lean in closer and closer until they were a few centimetres away from each other. Aaron moved in to kiss him but stopped. "And I've done that before haven't I?" he said angrily as he pushed himself away from Adam.

Adam sighed. "Yeah, alright yeah you did" he told him, last December"

Aaron chuckled and nodded. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we all decided not to let you know a few things"

Aaron frowned and scoffed. "And what? For my benefit?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah...and this is why...all these flashbacks Aaron they're messing you up, you aren't the same lad you were before the attack, don't get me wrong nothing's changed between us but the Aaron from after the hospital is a better person than the one before and I mean that in the nicest way possible"

"A better person?" Aaron spat as he glared at him. "I'm seeing bits of how I used to be and the way people go on around me now, pathetic...I prefer that one, he had a much better attitude to things"

"Oh? And how's that? Come on Aaron! You always shut your mum out, always had a cob on, moody...very withdrawn sometimes, and you had a bad side, a trouble maker and not to mention beating Paddy up, I hated" Adam spat angrily. "You for that!"

Aaron stepped back and frowned. "You're lying"

Adam shook his head. "I wish I was mate! You put him through hell, everything seemed to be resolved by violence with you, and it's not the case...and just then hitting the bins? Is there any point in it?"

"There's every point." Aaron said matter of factly. "It makes me feel better"

"There are other ways to feel better"

Aaron shook his head angrily and looked away.

"Talking for one, oh but Aaron never talks does he...or hang on am I getting confused because all of a sudden now we've got to factor in that there's two versions of you!"

Aaron snapped and turned around and pushed Adam back up against the wall. "I never asked for this!" he raged.

"No!" Adam screamed at him. "But you asked for the beating!" he continued and pushed him away with force. "You couldn't just leave it could ya!"

...

Several minutes had passed in complete silence between the boys as they sat beside each other on a kerb of a quiet road. "Y-You beat Paddy cause he thought you were doing drugs but actually you were meeting up with Jackson, here at Bar west, he was pushing you about drugs then but I suppose you would have felt pushed against a wall and you lashed out, knowing it was close to the truth coming out, Paddy always defended you, he forgave you..." Adam told him quietly.

Aaron wiped his tears away. "I'm so confused Adam" he sobbed. "I don't know what is me anymore, how I'm meant to be...would I really have asked Jackson to marry me, would I have said yes to moving in...I know the answer and it's no..." he told him.

Adam stayed quiet, No was the right answer.

"I don't know if the choices I'm making are the right ones" he shrugged. "I-It..." he had to catch his breath as the emotion consumed him more and more. "It's like I'm fighting myself, the bad versus the good and right now the bad side, the old side is winning, I can feel it" he told him.

"No one can ever tell you how to be Aaron but if you wanna be the way you were, the way that you're gradually seeing again then be that way. But it's only going to make things difficult for you and Jackson, do you love him Aaron?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I do"

Adam nodded too. "And he doesn't deserve this, be true to you and him, be true to yourself...there isn't only you who'd get hurt if you don't, there's a lot of people who would, think about that" he told him as he stood.

Aaron frowned and looked up at him. "I meant what I said to you inside, I do love you but for why I don't know..."

"If it's romantic love Aaron you know that can't happen. I'm not gay..." he shrugged, then frowned as he thought. "But sometimes I think that if I was, then things might have been easier for you mate and I wish they had been" he told him softly then turned and began to step away.

"Where are you going?" Aaron wondered.

Adam stopped a few metres away and looked back at him. "I promised Jackson I wouldn't leave you tonight but it's after twelve mate I need to go home and so do you, alone. You've got some thinking to do and I don't want to unknowingly influence anything" Adam looked away and bit his lip then looked back at him. "Look..." he frowned as he fought back his own emotions, watching Aaron like this was sad to see. "I-I know it's all a blur right now but it'll work itself out...you'll work yourself out" he told him finally before walking away.

...

Aaron had walked back to the village from town, suffice to say it had taken him hours, and once he got back he just walked around, taking in the view of the countryside as it started to get light, he sat on the seat by the phone box for an hour or so then people starting appearing as the day started, he got up and chose this time to go home. He wasn't looking forward to this one bit, he'd left the house on a bad note the previous night and now he'd not come back till the next morning. He sighed as he reached for the door knob.

Jackson had been looking out the kitchen window for the last few minutes and saw as he approached, he was fuming but worried too, he didn't know what side Aaron was going to get when he walked in the door. Jackson quickly walked to it and opened it quickly just before Aaron could turn the knob to let himself in.

Aaron just stared at him, Jackson did the same.

"Where have you been?" Jackson asked quickly.

Aaron shrugged. "Walking, walked back from town then stayed around here, walked some more"

"You walked back from town in the middle of the night?" Jackson asked.

Aaron walked into the house and nodded as he passed Jackson to get to the kitchen.

"Are you actually mental?" Jackson's voice rose. "Anything could have happened to you!"

Aaron tutted with a frown "I think I am yeah...anyway shut up. I'm here aren't I?" he snapped.

Jackson was taken aback by that comment "You sound like you don't wanna be"

Aaron pouted and shrugged. "Stop pushing me" he snapped and turned away from him and walked to the sink to get a drink of water.

Jackson frowned "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked quickly but got no reply then he marched towards Aaron and grabbed his shoulder but as he pulled him back, Aaron defensively swung his arm around and whacked him in the face with his elbow.

Jackson stumbled back against the dining table and ended up lying on it. He quickly placed his hand on his eye wincing in pain as he did.

Aaron saw red, he couldn't stop it now...

TBC...


	15. What Hurts The Most

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"What Hurts The Most"

This fanfic follows on **immediately** from _In The Blur_

...

Jackson lifted himself up off the dining table as Aaron approached with the nastiest look on his face. He chuckled. "What? You gunna beat me Aaron? I might not like violence but doesn't mean I'm just gunna take it"

Aaron swung his arm round and punched Jackson hard in the face; knocking him down onto the floor. Flashes zipped by Aaron but it wasn't Jackson, and it wasn't first thing on a morning, it was Paddy and it was night, the two events switched from one to the other. Aaron beat him with pure malice; he'd been pushed too far. He believed he was going crazy, he cried as he repeated the punches.

Jackson lied. He was taking it all, there was no way he was going to strike back at Aaron, he didn't want too and he couldn't.

Aaron was stopped quickly when he heard the surgery door open in the living room. He turned in the direction quickly, then looked back at Jackson and stood properly, his eyes widened when he'd realised what he'd actually done, and for what? Being pushed; old Aaron was back. Jackson swallowed hard and pulled himself up and ran up the stairs so Paddy didn't see. Aaron slammed the front door as Paddy walked into the kitchen.

"Aaron?" Paddy yelled, confused.

...

The water was ice cold; it always was in the winter months. It eased the heat from his swollen and damaged skin but it didn't ease the pain he felt physically and mentally. He let the water trickle down his face as he stared into the bathroom mirror. He stood in the silence and just let it all out, months of worry and frustration. He no longer felt the need to put on a brave face, all these months he'd told himself Aaron would be fine and that they'd live a happy life together. He knew what Aaron was like when he met him but the attack changed him for the better, but maybe it was inevitable that the past would creep back into the forefront of Aaron's mind. Jackson worried about that a lot and now it had happened and he was hurt now. He cried hard, the pain was real, what Aaron had done was real. He found himself kneeling on the bathroom floor with his hands gripped onto the front of the sink.

After ten minutes Jackson calmed down and he stood up and walked out of the bathroom and into his and Aaron's room. He grabbed his bag and started packing, he was moving into Dale head with or without Aaron. He still loved him, maybe that was stupid to do so but his love for that lad couldn't just disappear. Aaron wasn't himself and Jackson knew that, however he knew that it didn't defend what he'd done. Now Aaron had ran off, Jackson was worried. "It's freezing out there" he mumbled to himself as tears burned his eyes again, he ignored them and carried on packing.

...

Jackson stood in the kitchen with his bags ready to leave. He pulled out his phone and dialled Declan; he waited for the call to connect.

"Alright mate, what's up?" Declan asked.

"Uh yeah not bad mate" Jackson's voice was flat and beaten. "Listen I know it's a day early, you said we could move in after New Year but I was wondering if it was possible if I could move into the house today?"

Declan chuckled. "Course you can mate, a day isn't going to make a difference" he then went quiet, realising something didn't seem right. "Are you okay Jackson?"

"Erm yeah" Jackson frowned. "Yeah" he said with a nod, reassuring his own self."I've still got my key so I'll just get started with my stuff"

"No problem mate, listen any problems just give me a call"

"I will do, thanks Declan" Jackson told him then hung up, and wasted no time in leaving Smithy, he walked down the village quickly with his head down, he didn't want people to see him.

...

"Come on Aaron where are ya? If something's happened you can talk to me anytime, it's New Years Eve mate come on, come back, forget whatever it was I'm sure it was nothing and we can enjoy tonight and see in the new year together all of us, fresh start, come on please Aaron when you get this message just call I'm really worried I haven't seen you all day, no one's heard from you and I haven't seen Jackson anywhere either and like you he isn't picking up..." the beep sounded and he'd been cut off, Paddy sighed, he got in what he needed too though. He grabbed his wallet and headed to the pub.

Meanwhile Aaron sat on a large rock ahead of him a drop that would certainly kill if a person were to fall. He was on edge, the wind was icy cold, and he crossed his arms and kept them close to his chest as if he was trying to warm up. He was shivering, and every single noise caused him to jump.

Back in the village it was dark now and the end of year festivities were in full swing at the pub, Jackson heard all the party goers from inside Dale head as they walked up to the pub. He sat in the dimmed living room, he'd taken tablets for the pain but they weren't working, his face was sensitive to the touch and it was massively swollen. His phone had rang a lot during the day; he didn't want to talk to anyone, he hadn't even rang Aaron but then he wasn't to know he was still out there somewhere. He had to focus on himself for a while, and he had. Now he had to find Aaron, as he stood the front door knocked, Jackson frowned and walked to answer it.

He kept himself in the dark, but he saw who was stood on the doorstep.

"See, I thought you'd be here!" Paddy said loudly as he pointed to Jackson. "I forgot about the whole moving in thing"

"Yeah...well I wasn't meant to be for another day or two but I thought it was best" Jackson's tone still flat and rather quiet.

"Ah right, so where is he then?" Paddy asked as he walked in and passed Jackson, he stopped in the living room and spun around back at him. "Not here I take it?"

Jackson didn't move, he simply closed the door, he stayed in the darkened area he didn't want Paddy to see his face. "No" Jackson replied. "Only saw him for a bit this morning"

"Where is he then?" Paddy frowned, his worry increasing.

"I dunno" Jackson sighed. "Look Paddy shouldn't you be at the party?"

"I was...but then I remembered about you two moving in, thought it might have been a possibility...some alone time and s-stuff"

Jackson sniggered.

"What's so funny?" Paddy asked.

"Nothing..."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Actually yeah Paddy..." Jackson told him.

Paddy looked around the room, it was dim but then realised Jackson was in the dark. "Are you a vampire or something, your hiding in the dark"

"My house" Jackson shrugged.

Paddy frowned, Jackson didn't sound himself. "Has something happened Jackson?"

"No! Paddy please just leave it!"

"No I won't" Paddy walked toward him and pulled him to face the light. The look on Paddy's face made Jackson look away.

...

Chas laughed as she stood outside the pub talking to Gennie when her phone beeped, she took it and saw a text from Aaron. She frowned and opened the message. Her frown deepened in confusion. "You're sorry?" she chuckled.

"What's that?" Gennie asked.

"Ohhh nothing, think my sons had a bit too much to drink, although I've warned him not too he's still on that medication isn't he?" she shook her head with a sigh.

...

Paddy let go of Jackson's arm and stepped back. "Hmm..." he mumbled. "This is familiar"

"Don't Paddy" Jackson said with a shake of his head.

"Don't what? He's done to you what he did to me!" Paddy raged. "And why? Because he didn't like something you said?" he began to pace, breathing heavily to try and calm himself.

"Y-Yes, something like that...he's not himself Paddy, you know that as much as I do"

"That doesn't justify this!" Paddy pointed at Jackson's injuries.

"No, of course it doesn't what I mean is there's a reason why he did! He's a mess and he's confused"

Paddy shook his head. "And that's it? You're just going to forgive him?"

"No!" Jackson shouted. "But I'm not going to stop loving him, because I do Paddy I do..." Jackson started to cry. "Where is he?"

"I don't know" Paddy eased off. "But I know he'll be in a box when I find him, or when Chas does!"

"No Paddy! Listen alright...I know this is wrong but he's not himself, nobody knows alright, nobody if anyone asks I'll say..."

Paddy scoffed. "That you got mugged?"

Jackson knew what Paddy was doing; he wiped his eyes quickly and looked right at him. "Yeah I got mugged"

"No one's gunna believe that, you're a builder, a strong fit lad...yeah they believed me cause...well look at me!" Paddy shook his head. "But not you Jackson"

"Tough, it's what's happening, and to be honest, now I know Aaron hasn't been seen or heard from all day I have to go and find him, he is what's important"

Paddy sighed, he agreed. "I'll look too, call me if you find him"

Jackson nodded and grabbed his coat and they both left, Paddy walked up the village and Jackson stood on the step, he looked around, looked up at the sky...he shook his head; he had no idea where to start. But he knew that Aaron wouldn't have gone to the usual spots, not after that.

"Come on Jackson think!" he became frustrated with himself as he unlocked his van and jumped in and started the engine he tapped his fingers off the steering wheel. "Think...Think, think..." he mumbled as he closed his eyes.

Jackson almost jumped out of his seat when the passenger door opened. "Paddy just told me, I'm coming with you...whoa what the hell happened to you?" Chas asked.

"I got mugged last night, me and Aaron argued this morning cause I should have let him do some damage or something, but I didn't he got mad and ran off, but I had no idea he was out all day, it's freezing what the hell is he playing at?"

Chas smirked slightly, she couldn't believe him. "Yeah like I believe you"

Jackson frowned.

"I'm not stupid love" she told him in a whispery tone

Jackson sighed and turned to look out the window and he let the handbrake down and he drove off.

Ten minutes after driving around, Chas spoke. "I know and I've seen what my son is capable of Jackson"

"Yeah well, so do I now" he told her as he concentrated on the roads.

"Does it change anything?" she wondered.

Jackson pouted and shook his head. "No, like I told Paddy I love him and that's that...he's not the type to beat me every day, it'll never happen again because once he gets his head sorted, he'll be fine"

"I wish I could believe that. Explain to me from the beginning about what's been happening..." Chas told him.

Paddy walked out of Bar West, he had no luck. He'd tried everywhere he had to get some help now; he took out his phone and called Adam.

...

Out of nowhere Jackson spoke. "I've got it!" he put his foot on the brakes and turned the van around and headed back down the quiet road.

"What?" Chas wondered.

"Where he might be, we talked about where we could go for walks...it's not too far..."

Chas nodded. "He sent me a text earlier saying he was sorry"

Jackson's eyes widened. "And you're telling me this now?"

Chas frowned. "What? No? You don't think..." the sudden horrifying thought entered her mind

"I don't know what to think Chas" Jackson replied as he sped up, driving as fast as he could to the hills.

Jackson heard Chas begin to sob. "No, don't start crying on me Chas...Please...cause if you do so will I...we'll find him!" he was determined.

Jackson pulled up at the side of the road, fields spanned the distance, it was freezing he and Chas were shivering even with their coats on. Jackson ran round the back of his van and pulled out a blanket, from what he could recall Aaron only had his jumper on. He got it so that he could put it round him when they found him.

...

It took almost half an hour before Jackson and Chas found him, sitting on a rock. They approached slowly. He quietly told Chas to stay back while he tried first. She nodded and remained where she was and watched as Jackson carried on up ahead.

Jackson stopped a few metres back from Aaron; tears filled his eyes as he just watched him. "Coming up here without me eh? Bit mean innit?" Jackson spoke loud enough for him to hear him over the gusts of wind.

Aaron jumped and turned quickly and looked at him. He didn't respond just simply turned back and looked towards the edge.

"What are you doing here Aaron?" Jackson asked.

Aaron shrugged and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I was going to jump..." he told him. "The guilt I feel for..." he scrunched his face. "For doing what I did to you I can't explain it..." he told him, his voice cracking.

"I'm glad you didn't" Jackson told him as he stepped closer.

"Don't Jackson..." Aaron sighed.

"I just wanna see if you're okay that's all" he explained and stepped closer again so he could see him properly, then he knelt down a few metres in front of him. Jackson looked in deep thought for a few seconds. "W-What's happening to you is probably normal Aaron...memories are coming back and that's fine and it's influencing your personality again and that's fine too, I fell in love with that version of you anyway and I love the version of you after the hospital and I love this version of you that's sitting right in front of me now"

Aaron closed his eyes, then re-opened them almost straight away and looked at Jackson as tears fell from his eyes. "You can't love me"

"Well I don't have a choice in who I fall in love with...and even if I did I know damn well it would be you" Jackson told him honestly, he meant every word.

Aaron scowled. "I'm scum Jackson"

Jackson instantly shook his head. "I don't believe that, you aren't yourself, you're confused and you lashed out"

"Confused to the point where I thought I was in love with Adam because there was something there and I remembered, I nearly kissed him once...I got angry at him too...didn't hit him though..." Aaron looked away.

Jackson frowned. "Love Adam?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah...but I don't, like I said confusion"

Jackson nodded; he was leaving that one there. But he was shocked but yet grateful for Aaron being honest. "Why did you come here?"

Aaron pouted. "To try and figure out who I 'am"

"I wanna help you figure that out...it's freezing Aaron...you've been out all day you'll catch hyperthermia if you haven't already." Jackson sighed. "I'm not condoning what you did but I believe there's a reason why you did it and we can get through it all, I love you to bits and I'm not going to give up on you"

Aaron listened and he just cried silently, he didn't deserve any of what Jackson was promising.

"Come home with me Aaron? Please" Jackson begged desperation clear in his tone.

Aaron quickly put his head in his hands and rocked back and forth as he nodded.

Jackson let out a sigh of relief and moved closer to him and wrapped his arms around him. He was freezing, it was worrying actually. "Thank you, I love you so much"

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry" Aaron cried hard into Jackson's chest.

"I know, I know you are...I'll be alright...it's nothing really" he told him as he nodded to Chas to bring him the blanket.

Chas walked quickly and handed it to him and just stood and watched as Jackson wrapped it around him tightly.

Jackson chuckled. "You're missing all the fun you know"

Aaron sniffled. "There's always next year's new year..."

"I'll hold you to that" Jackson smiled as they turned to walk back.

Aaron stopped when he saw his mum.

Jackson felt Aaron's body tense; he looked at him with a frown.

"It's alright love...I'm not going to go mad and yell at you...I'm just glad you're safe...but..." her tone changed. "We will be having words" she said with a nod.

Aaron nodded, he understood that.

Back at the van Jackson handed the keys to Chas. "I'll sit with him, try and warm him up a bit...I'm really worried Chas..."

Chas looked past Jackson to Aaron, and she nodded. "Yeah...let's just see what he's like when we get back"

Jackson nodded and Chas got into the driver's seat and the boys walked round to the passenger side and sat on the dual seat. Jackson sat right next to Aaron, holding him in close, tightly as he rubbed his back quickly.

...

Chas stood in the doorway of Dale head. "Will he be alright?"

Aaron nodded. "I'll be fine" he said as he shivered.

Jackson nodded. "I'll make sure he is, I'll call you in the morning, let Paddy know we found him?"

Chas nodded. "Course I will" she told them before leaving.

Aaron shook his head as he sat on the floor up against the radiator. "People have been looking?"

"Yeah...a lot of people care about you"

Aaron stared at the floor. "But you all are the ones who end up hurt..." Adams words made sense now.

TBC...


	16. The Whisper

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Whisper"

This fanfic follows on **the next morning **after _What Hurts The Most_

...

Aaron apprehensively walked down the stairs in Dale head; he was sniffling and his eyes were red and watering but he had warmed up now though, took him the better part of the night; he was tired and hungry, but most of all scared to see Jackson and he could hear him in the kitchen. Aaron closed his eyes and breathed out slowly then carried on down the last few stairs.

Jackson stopped preparing breakfast and stepped near the dining table where he could see him; he could tell straight away that he was coming down with something and he couldn't help but smirk in a serves your right kind of manner. Both of them had suffered pain in different ways, Jackson's at the moment was actually killing him, the cuts and bruises were sore and sensitive to touch still. The bruises occupied mainly around his eyes, , cheeks and under his lower lip beneath the swollen skin.

Aaron saw him then looked away as he walked around to the sofa. "Hi" he said quietly as he sat down. Then from his flashbacks, Jackson's injuries were worse than Paddy's. Aaron sighed. _What Have I done?* _he asked himself.

"Morning" Jackson replied with a smile. "You didn't get much sleep, and even when you were you were shivering like crazy"

Aaron raised his eyebrows. "Ah ok" he mumbled.

"How you feeling? Cause you look like you caught cold"

"I think I did, don't worry though, I don't want you running round after me"

Jackson's smirk grew. "Tough." He told him. "Simple as that, we're together, we're trying to move on, live with it..."

Aaron sighed and shook his head as Jackson walked back into the kitchen and started breakfast. Ten minutes later Jackson walked into the living room with a small plate with two sandwiches on it for Aaron. He noted Aaron hadn't moved or even settled into the sofa. Jackson frowned but he sort of expected it. "Here..." he placed the plate down on the arm of the sofa. "Bacon..."

Aaron turned and he frowned as he looked into Jackson's warm brown eyes. "Why are you being nice to me?" he asked guilt in his tone.

Jackson knelt down on the floor and rested his arms along the arm of the sofa and he looked at Aaron with love. Aaron turned away. "Because I love you and what you've done doesn't change that, I've been through this already Aaron" he explained.

"Yeah I know" he sighed.

Jackson looked away as he realised he wasn't going to get anywhere, he stood up again. "Just eat your breakfast" he told him as he walked back to sort out his.

When Jackson's food was ready he chose to sit at the table.

...

The door knocked a while later and both boys were still sat apart, neither of them knew what to do. Well Aaron did, he just couldn't bring himself to say the things he wanted too.

"It's open!" Jackson shouted. Immediately the front door opened and Jackson looked to see who it was, he sighed quietly when he saw it was Adam. The issue of Aaron's love for him was still in the forefront of his mind, he didn't know if it was real or just one of the jumbled memories that had confused him, Aaron told him the latter but Jackson couldn't help but wonder and it hurt because it had taken Aaron so long for him to say he loved him back but yet there he was saying he loved Adam just like that, like it had been nobody's business.

Aaron didn't look at him, this was the first time they'd seen each other since their night in town.

"Alright?" Jackson asked after realising Aaron wasn't acknowledging his mate.

Adam looked at him, he felt the tension in the air and he nodded, and then looked towards Aaron. "Wish I could say the same for you" he looked back at Jackson just as he finished what he was saying.

"Yeah well you know...comes with it all I suppose"

"No actually Jackson, I don't suppose...he's beaten you to a pulp!"

"I know that Adam!" Aaron spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh you realised I'm here then? Nice of ya" Adam commented sharply.

Jackson sighed and stood up from the table and he marched to the door.

Aaron frowned. "Where are you going?"

"Out, can't deal with this" Jackson explained then moved in close to Adam. "He's hardly said a full sentence to me all morning, do something about it please...after all..." Jackson swallowed hard "He loves you right? Might actually listen"

Adam closed his eyes and shook his head as the door slammed behind him. "Have you seen what you're doing?"

Aaron frowned. "I can't exactly miss it can I?"

"Don't be funny"

"I'm not" Aaron told him.

"We've been here before me and you...when I found out you beat Paddy...but Jackson...he's worse!" Adam yelled. "Why did you do that to him! He loves you and apparently you love him back!"

"Yes I do, I don't know why I did it alright?" Aaron yelled as he rose to his feet. "It just happened"

"What?" Adam frowned. "Like this..." he put his arms out and pushed Aaron back harshly. "Just happened?"

Aaron looked down at where Adams hands had pushed him back then he looked up, his eyes glaring into Adams. "Yeah" he breathed hard. "Like that just happened, I told you how confused I' am Adam, I dunno where I'm at and I go home after our night in town a-and he starts questioning where I'd been, why I was out all night...he was pushing me"

Adam saw red and pushed Aaron back with more force than the last and he fell back and smashed through the wooden coffee table. Adam leaned over him and grabbed him by the collar, his eyes burned with fear, sadness and desperation for Aaron. "If you don't sort yourself out, you're going to lose it, all of it and I mean that Aaron!" he shook Aaron. "And I don't think you want that do ya?"

Aaron didn't react.

"DO YA!" Adam screamed.

"N-" Aaron shook his head. "No...No...No..." he repeated as he began to weep and his shoulders jerked up and down.

Adam's expressions showed he was fighting his own emotions too, one side of him wanted to ignore him but he couldn't. "Ahh god Aaron!" Adam struggled and pulled him into his arms. "I only got mad because I care mate...sometimes you need a push, pardon the pun...to do things and you can. Sort this out with Jackson"

Aaron nodded as Adam let go and he sat down in front of him. "I wanna ask you some stuff and you've gotta answer honestly"

Aaron wiped his eyes and nodded.

"How does Jackson make you feel?"

Aaron frowned. "He makes me feel safe, loved, like I'm the only person that matters..." he shrugged.

"Do you love him?" Adam continued.

"So much" Aaron replied and his face strained as more tears fell. He nodded. "I do"

"Which version of you do you wanna be?"

Aaron sighed and looked around the room, he shrugged before he answered. "I just wanna be Aaron, all versions of me have good and bad in them, I just wanna be like that...nobody can be perfect, and I don't want to be...I'm nowhere near it but for some reason Jackson loves me and I've got to sort it like you said"

Adam nodded. "And you want all this? The house, marriage?"

Aaron thought for a few seconds then he smiled. "A lot of people would love to have what I have here, a boyfriend, a home...a future...I'm not ignorant to that...I want it Adam, I really do"

Adam nodded with a smile. "Jackson loved you before all this, so even if your old personality creeps in sometimes he isn't going to mind, and in time you'll remember everything, you have too, you've had flashbacks of a lot of stuff in such a short space of time and then he's still going to be here...b-but...make sure that day doesn't come when you've pushed him too far"

Aaron shook his head. "I won't, but I'm scared Adam...I say I won't but what if I do and he gets sick of me and he leaves, I dunno if I could handle that" he caught his breath as emotions took over and he lowered his head and cried.

Neither of them had heard Jackson re-enter the house due to Aaron's crying. Jackson looked concerned, he'd noticed the flattened table but it was Aaron that concerned him more obviously. "W-What's wrong?"

Adam looked over his shoulder. "I think he's going to be alright mate" he looked back at Aaron. "I'll leave you to it..." he hugged him tightly. "No need to be scared mate, he's one in a million that lad, talk to him" he added quietly before he stood up and left the house.

...

Aaron stood up and wiped his tears away. "Adam said I should talk to you" he told him as he started picking up the pieces of broken wood. "And I-I will...I' am it's just I should..." he looked at him briefly then back at the mess. "Tidy this"

Jackson watched him carefully.

"T-there's so much I do want to say but this guilt..." he sighed. "It's killing me Jackson, you standing there and your face..." he shook his head, he was beginning to ramble. He continued to pick up the broken wood. "You will never know just how sorry I' am but all I can say is that I' am..." his voice became shaky as his lower lip began to quiver. "I'am so sorry for hurting you, I know you'll never forget it but you have to know I'll never do anything like that again or anything to hurt you for that matter, I love you so much"

Jackson nodded and rushed over to him and took him into his arms by surprise and kissed him. "Shh" he whispered as their lips parted after the initial kiss. Aaron was taken a back and he frowned but Jackson kissed him back quickly, more heated and passionate than the first. Aaron seemed to melt at his touch and he embraced it and kissed back with intensity.

TBC...


	17. It's Better This Way?

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"It's Better This Way"

This fanfic follows on **several hours **after _The Whisper_

...

Aaron and Jackson rushed down the stairs quickly as they heard someone walking in. Aaron was topless and Jackson was tying up the button on his jeans as he made it to the bottom.

Hazel just glared at both boys, a look of shock when she saw the injuries to Jackson and the bruises on his sides and torso.

"Mum..." Jackson said quietly.

Hazel nodded. "I've just had a very interesting conversation with Paddy...I thought he was crazy at first, I said to myself I said Hazel..." she began to shake her head. "Aaron wouldn't do that...but then...then I remembered you were handy with your fists once before"

Aaron looked away. "I-I'll go" he stepped around to go back up the stairs but Jackson placed his hand on his shoulder and stopped him. He shook his head at him and smiled slightly to show him some support.

Hazel stepped forward. "So I gather by the lack of clothes you've both made up then?" Hazel nodded. "Just like that?"

"Mum, please...we don't need this, he knows what he's done and we've talked and I know we're going to be okay"

"Oh so that's alright then" Hazel spoke angrily. "You need your head checking Jackson! That's what you do need!"

Aaron couldn't take much more he had to say something. "Look Hazel, I know what I've done is wrong, and it kills me every time I look at him but he's chosen to move past this and help me, and I'm going to make sure he's fine and safe-" he was cut off.

"Safe? Here? With you? Don't make me laugh, I really got to like you Aaron I did, but this"

"Will never happen again!" Aaron finished her sentence, reassuring her.

Hazel swung her arm round and slapped him hard knocking his forehead and Aaron knocked back onto the stairs.

"Mum! Are you mental? He's still got the stitches from the operation and even if he hadn't you can't hit his head alright!" Jackson knelt down in front of Aaron checking he was ok.

"Why? It might knock some sense into him!" she raised her voice, her tone emotional.

Jackson sighed. "I've forgiven Aaron, we are what matters to each other right now, nobody else so leave please"

"I can't leave you here with him Jackson" Hazel cried.

"Paddy forgave him, he still lived up there with him and he's staying here with me too, I love him mum, this is our house and we'll be married soon so..."

Hazel frowned. "So...what? That'll make everything seem better?"

"No!" he shot a look at her. "But we're working on it"

Hazel sighed and leaned down in front of Aaron. "You deserved that slap, stitches or not...you deserved a hell of a lot more though, you hurt my beautiful boy again and he'll be visiting you in prison, you got that sunshine?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah"

"Good, I'll leave you alone now" Hazel turned and walked back out of the house.

...

Words hadn't been exchanged for almost half an hour since Hazel had left, in that time the boys got back into their clothes properly."Are you alright?" Jackson asked.

Aaron curled up his lip and shook his head as he leaned on the back of the couch. "So much for making up eh?" he turned to him.

"We did and it was amazing Aaron" Jackson told him.

Aaron scoffed and flicked up an eyebrow as he shook his head.

Jackson frowned. "What?"

"No I-it was amazing Jackson I'm sorry I'm just a bit riled up...I-I feel like I'm waiting" he scrunched his face as he explained.

Jackson walked closer and sat on the back of the sofa next to Aaron and looked at him. "For what?"

"The vultures, the rest of them to come and peck me to death and to stick their noses in, I know everyone will have an opinion on what I did but who's to say I want to hear it...or should I? Maybe I should? I des-"

"Hey..." Jackson placed his hand on his cheek. "You're working yourself up, you're not well Aaron, come on rest..."

Aaron gave a side glance towards Jackson.

"Please?" he added.

Aaron finally nodded and walked round the sofa and lay down. He had caught cold from his adventures outside in the freezing winter cold and on top of that he had been told to rest after leaving the hospital and he hadn't done much of that either.

Jackson watched as he closed his eyes and then he wandered to the dining table and sat down, wincing quietly as he did, the bruises were sore.

...

A while later Jackson was stood outside on the small lawn in front of the house simply collecting his thoughts as he paced back and forth. He hadn't seen Chas approaching.

"Hiya love" she spoke gently not too startle him. Jackson looked up. "What you out here for? You murdered him and trying to figure out how to get rid of the body?" she smirked but Jackson didn't share her sense of humour. Chas' smirk disappeared quickly. "Right okay...I just came to see how you were"

Jackson looked at her as he sat down on the doorstep. "But not your son?" he asked.

"Of course him too but you're the one battered and bruised Jackson, have you actually looked in the mirror?" she asked.

Jackson frowned. "Course I have, and it's bad, and it hurts but it won't last long"

"That's not the point love"

Jackson shrugged and looked down at his hands as he rubbed them together slowly.

"Where is he then?" she asked.

"Asleep on the couch, he's full of cold and he hasn't rested much since the surgery so I've told him too now, I don't want anything happening to him or the shunt now that he's got it...my mum slapped him earlier an-and I jumped down her throat like a crazy obsessed partner because she'd slapped him near the stitches" he shook his head, it seemed stupid now.

"You just care Jackson, that's all"

"Yeah but nobody seems to think I'm doing the right thing, my mum practically sounded scared for me because I'm staying with him..."

"Are you scared?" Chas asked as she joined him on the step.

Jackson looked at Chas with a frown and scoffed as he turned away again.

"Jackson?"

Jackson looked down at the ground and nodded. "Yeah...maybe"

Chas sighed. "What we gunna do kid?"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know but they can all try as hard as they want I'm not giving up on him, and by they I mean my mum and Paddy, he kindly decided to tell her everything"

"He's just angry Jackson, it brings it all back for him too, and he never thought Aaron would do that again, do me a favour though try and keep Aaron out of Paddy's way for now"

"It's that bad?" Jackson asked.

"Oh yeah, trust me" Chas told him.

"I'll try but you know what he's like"

Chas chuckled. "Yeah, I do...I was going to have words with him but I know as soon as I see that sad little face of his I'll just melt, I don't know what to do, or what to say to him Jackson it's like he's there but he's not if that makes sense" Jackson nodded. "Maybe if we just take it a day at a time get him back on track, carry on learning him how to write and read, and be open about all of his past from now on...it might be the better than what we decided to do before..."

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, you're right" he replied as the door behind them opened and they both turned to see Aaron. They both smiled.

"Hiya love we were just having a chat"

Aaron nodded and stepped outside with his rucksack in his hand. Jackson frowned.

"What's that for?" he wondered.

"I err...I can't stay here Jackson...If she'll have me I'm going to stay with my mum..."

Chas was as confused as Jackson. "Erm, yeah, yeah shouldn't be a problem love"

"I'm not ending things between us Jackson" Aaron was struggling and was on the verge of crying. "I just think that if we weren't in each other's space constantly we'd be able to get over all of this and I dunno...maybe be how we were before everything...I love you so much I do...please don't hate me"

Jackson was stunned but he shook his head. "No, no I don't hate you Aaron, if it's what you wanna do then we should, as long as I still get to see you?" he asked.

"Of course ya div"

Jackson stood up, he really felt as though he was saying goodbye to him. "I love you"

Aaron smiled and then he frowned when the guilt from looking at his bruises came back to him. "I love you too" he nodded. "See you soon" he struggled as the lump in his throat threatened and it came out whispery. He quickly turned away and walked to Gennies'

Chas got up and placed her hand on Jackson's shoulder and she squeezed it lightly before following her son. She caught up with him a few seconds later and Aaron was wiping his eyes. "I think you've done the right thing" she told him.

Aaron looked at her. "Yeah? Well why do I feel like I've just made the biggest mistake of my life?"

"Well go back then!" Chas told him.

He shook his head quickly. "No, it has to be this way, it'll be better for both of us"

Chas had her doubts she thought that the longer the boys spent away from each permanently the more likely it was for one or both of them to find someone else, she sighed and watched her son walk into Gennie's with his bag. How she was going to explain this to Gennie and Katie she had no idea.

TBC...


	18. Getting Back On Track

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Getting Back On Track"

This fanfic follows on **a few weeks **after _It's Better This Way_

Okay moving this on a few weeks since the last chapter. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it as always.

...

Aaron and Adam stood sharing a mirror at the farm. "For god sake Adam what the hell are you doing? It doesn't take that long to do your hair, shift I need to see what I look like!" Aaron told him forcefully and pushed him out of the way.

"Oooh someone's itching to go out..."

Aaron turned and scowled at him. "No, I just like to look good that's all and anyway me and Jackson are still kinda...well" he frowned as the realisation hit him.

"No, you aren't mate...you haven't talked in weeks, you've ignored his calls and you only replied to a few of his texts"

Aaron sighed and walked to the top of the stairs shortly followed by Adam and they started walking down them. "Come on then mate what's going on with you?" Adam asked.

"I dunno" Aaron shrugged. "I don't deserve him after what I did, I haven't forgiven myself, the guilt is still there and it's not fair on him, I would have just made things weird"

"But he loves you Aaron, I've seen every time we pass him in the village he's looking out for you with those puppy dog eyes, I feel sorry for him mate"

"I just left it too long, I knew I was making a huge mistake straight away, I should have gone back but I didn't and now I don't know what to do. I love him too Adam but maybe things just aren't meant to be...so...I'm going to get smashed tonight and you're gunna carry me home"

"If you're lucky..." Adam frowned.

"With you?" Aaron smirked. "Always" he grinned and Adam laughed and whacked him on the shoulder as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Get out of it you, taxi's waiting"

"And by taxi, you mean me!" John told them as he grabbed his keys and waited by the front door.

"Yeah well I did ask nicely didn't I?" Adam asked as they walked over to him and they all left the house.

John pulled up outside of Bar West a while later and the boys quickly moved to get out of the car. "Woah, hang on, no drugs, no fighting, no being brought home by the police...apart from that everything goes...and if you really must do the deed, put something on it yeah boys?"

Aaron and Adam both laughed. "Dad!"

"Just being a responsible parent" John smirked as the boys got out of the car.

"Cheers John" Aaron thanked him before he closed the door.

...

They'd been out an hour and they'd just started their second pint and finished a game of pool. "You've lost it mate" Aaron told him as he shook his head.

"No...You were just lucky" Adam explained as they sat down at a table. "Anyway we need to have a chat"

"Oh..." Aaron sighed and sat back. "I've come out to get drunk out of my head and to forget things for a while; I don't want this conversation Adam"

"Tough mate cause you need to figure out what you want"

"I don't know what I want though"

"You shouldn't freeze Jackson out the way you are though" Adam told him.

"Oh alright then I'll invite him out then shall I?" Aaron replied quickly his tone frustrated as he reached for his phone in his pocket and pulled it out.

"Yeah, go on then"

Aaron brought up Jackson's number in his phone and he froze, he sighed and dropped it down on the table. "I can't"

"Alright" Adam nodded. "Forget about it for now, let's just have fun yeah?"

Aaron smiled slightly and nodded.

...

"Oh my god, have you ever seen anyone in here as drunk as him right now?" Adam asked the barman, he was drunk too, but not to the point Aaron was – dancing and he didn't care.

"I see it all the time mate, joys of working here every night, but on the plus side I get to see some hot guys I suppose"

"Yeah, just don't count me in on that though" he told him warily.

"Nah, you're just cute"

"Hey!" Adam pretended to be offended. "I 'am hot I'll have you know"

"Flirting with the barman now eh?" he winked. "What would your boyfriend say?" the barman then frowned as he watched Aaron fall over. "Probably not much the state he's in"

Adam turned and saw him sprawled on the dance floor. He sighed, and before he went to help him up he looked at the barman. "He's not my boyfriend and I was wasn't flirting, I'm straight"

"Yeah yeah, heard that a lot too" he wound him up.

Adam held out his hand. "Righ-" he was cut off.

"Nah it's alright mate I got this" a tall dark haired, toned, muscular lad spoke as he leaned down to take Aaron's hand. "Come on mate let's get you some air"

Aaron took his hand and he was pulled up instantly. "Wow, you're strong" Aaron looked at him amazed.

Adam couldn't help but smirk at Aaron. "It's alright cheers, he's my mate..." he intervened

"Oh right sorry...I'm Jason by the way"

"Yeah nice to meet you too, I'm Adam he's Aaron... now...hand him over I'll take care of this" Adam then took him by the arm and took him out for some air.

Outside Aaron leaned against the wall and Adam stood in front of him. "You alright?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I just got a bit dizzy in there"

Adam chuckled. "Must have been the dancing and your moves are horrendous mate"

"Yeah, cheers" Aaron slurred.

"You seemed instantly smitten by your knight in shining armour but I had to step in, after everything you've been through I don't want you making a mess of things"

Aaron chuckled. "How the hell can things get anymore messed up? And if I want to talk to whoever he said his name was then I will" he nodded.

"No" Adam sighed. "I didn't mean that, I meant for Jackson's sake...I-if you wanna have fun with other guys then you've gotta end it"

"I wouldn't go that far Adam"

"Well what then? Make up your bloody mind will ya?" he sighed, obviously frustrated with him.

"You were expecting me to pour out my feelings weren't ya? Not gunna happen..."

Adam sat down on the kerb in front of Aaron. "Wasn't expecting that but it would be nice if you could, might be able to shed some light on the whole thing for the both of us, the most we've managed to work out is that you still love him"

"Yeah" Aaron marched over and sat beside him. "And the fact I beat him to shreds kind of...ugh..." Aaron frowned and he quickly turned away and was sick.

Adam sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Makes you sick? Yeah it makes me sick too, can't believe you did it" he mumbled.

"I'm paying for it now aren't I?" he told him as he wiped his mouth.

"You left Aaron"

"And don't I know it. Do you know what?"

Adam looked around then back at him. "What?"

"You're meant to be my mate" he told him.

"And that's what I'm doing, being your mate. If you can't see that then you have a problem"

Aaron sighed and rested his head in the palm of his hand with his elbow resting on his leg.

"Do you want me to give your number to that guy or do you want me to call Jackson?" Adam asked, he wondered what his decision would be.

"Neither" Aaron replied quietly.

"Oh come on Aaron you can't be alone forever"

"I won't be, and anyway I'm only nineteen, you're going on as if I'm old or something" he told him as he got up and started to walk...well stagger across the street.

Adam sighed. "Where are you going?!" he called after him as he stood up and began to follow him.

"Home"

Adam smirked. *Good lad* he thought. "Home where? Gennies or Jackson?"

"The village, going back to the pub for a pint Adam"

"Yeah...right" he mumbled as he followed him.

...

The village was quiet, Adam had gone home and Aaron was stood looking at Dale Head, the living room light was on, Jackson always was a night owl. The drinks in the pub had reinforced the drunkenness that Aaron experienced earlier but he was fine, he didn't always need someone watching him or helping him, he loved Adam for being that way but sometimes he didn't want it. He rocked back and forth on the spot unknowingly for some time before he walked up to the door and he sat on the step without knocking; he was building up the courage to do it. Jackson might not want to talk to him he thought.

Ten minutes had passed, he had to do it otherwise he wouldn't. He reached behind him and knocked hard on the door, he remained sat on the step. He heard the door unlock a few seconds later and then the light from inside flooded the front lawn.

Jackson looked down at him and frowned. "Wasn't expecting you"

Aaron stood up and almost stumbled but he regained his balance.

"And you're drunk" Jackson told him.

Aaron frowned. "Yeah...I' am...but I'm here" he sighed. "I wasn't sure what to expect Jackson and however you feel towards me right now it's fine because I deserve it, I've frozen you out of my life for weeks and I don't have a real answer for why apart from the guilt and that I felt like I didn't deserve you"

"People who love each other don't do that Aaron"

Aaron sighed. "Would have to make this difficult wouldn't ya?"

"Oh don't start; it's one in the morning I'm not arguing with you"

"No Jackson I didn't come here to argue either, I came here to talk and to say sorry for leaving in the first place"

"You broke my heart that day when you moved out, I understood why I guess but it hurt all the same"

"And I realised how stupid I was as soon as I walked away"

"Yeah we saw each other every day like you said we would but across the street or across the pub from each other wasn't exactly what I had in mind"

"Me either, I was stupid"

"Have you seen anyone else Aaron?" Jackson needed to know.

Aaron shook his head. "Nobody, have you?"

"No, but there were times when I wanted too because you made me so angry at what you were doing to us"

Aaron curled his lips and he nodded. "That's fair enough"

Jackson stared at Aaron and he felt his eyes burn as they filled with tears, both of them were lost and neither knew what to do. "Do you wanna come in?"

Aaron looked at him and nodded. "Yeah" he told him, his voice whispery.

Jackson nodded and walk back inside, Aaron followed and closed the door. Aaron noted the adverts on the TV. "Watching anything good?" he asked.

Jackson shook his head. "Nah, just music channels, been doing some paperwork"

Aaron then looked and saw the files, sheets of paper and the calculator. "Ahh right, sorry..."

"No, no" Jackson told him quickly. "I'm glad you're here, I'll get you something non alcoholic, I think you need to sober up"

"Always look out for me don't ya?" he asked with a thoughtful smile.

Jackson looked back at him as he walked into the kitchen to get him a drink, while he waited Aaron took off his jacket and hung it up by the door. He walked back into the living room the same time as Jackson did.

Aaron frowned when he saw the horrified look on Jackson's face. He chuckled. "What?"

Jackson put down the glass of water and rushed to him. "Y-You're bleeding"

Aaron scoffed. "No I'm no-" he stopped when he saw it for himself, a line of blood stained across his t-shirt. "Oh...it's nothing...we ran out of money so we stopped the taxi before the fare went over, we ended up a few fields away from the farm so we walked through them...I had my jacket off at the time to cool down, we had to climb over a wall...it must have had barbed wire on the top of it or something"

Jackson looked worried. He sighed loudly. "You scare me to death you do! Get on the couch I'll clean you up"

"No Jackson it's nothing, I didn't come here for this, I came here for you"

"Yeah I know you didn't you idiot" Jackson smirked. "Lie down; I'll get some warm water"

Aaron nodded. "Alright then" he walked to the sofa and lay down, he felt stupid, he and Jackson hadn't spoken for weeks because of him and now Jackson was being thoughtful and caring towards him again when he felt he didn't deserve it.

Jackson sat on the edge of the couch when he walked back in, he put the bowl on the new coffee table and dabbed cotton wool in it and slowly lifted Aaron's t-shirt up. He winced, it was quite bad but the bleeding had stopped though. He slowly placed his hand on Aaron's warm firm stomach to keep him from moving if it hurt him when he wiped the blood away. Jackson's eyes met his.

"I never meant to hurt you and when I made the decision to move out for a while I felt I was doing the right thing until I actually did it, but I didn't come back because I'd have looked stupid" he shook his head. He sounded pathetic and he knew it. "You didn't have to say it either but I knew you were scared of me, probably still are"

Jackson shook his head. "I was, not now" he explained as he gently cleaned Aaron's cut.

"Why?" Aaron asked

Jackson pouted. "Because I know how bad you felt and if I'm honest, the fact you didn't speak or reply to my texts and calls did make me realise that you were still punishing yourself for what you did. But you've got to stop Aaron, you've gotta forgive yourself and then we can move on"

"I'm nearly there but I don't want to go another day without you, that's why I came here, at this time of night, I had to tell you, I don't want to waste anymore time"

Jackson smiled. "Neither do I, I've been like a lost puppy without you around" he chuckled but his emotions were clear as Aaron could see the tears filling his eyes.

"Don't cry Jackson" Aaron said softly.

But he did, tears fell from his eyes. "I-I thought I'd lost you, but even before you left I thought it then, I just want us back to normal Aaron, I want it so much" he cried.

Aaron sat up.

"No, what you doing lie down" he told him as he cried and wiped his eyes.

Aaron smirked and shook his head and he wiggled his way onto Jackson's lap.

Jackson frowned, he felt his heartbeat quicken and his breathe slowly seem to become shallower. "What you doing?"

"About to make up with you" Aaron told him as he looked into his eyes.

"This better be for real though Aaron cause if it's not then it's just gunna hurt, if you're not sure then you should leave"

"Listen to me...I was so drunk earlier I fell on the dance floor and a guy came over and picked me up...he was fit, I'll admit...and I felt like I wanted to talk to him, to give him my number but Adam pulled me away and took me outside, I-I wouldn't have though cause I didn't know what I was doing, I don't think I've ever been in a worse state" Aaron explained and he looked away, just staring. "But when I was outside and I was just thinking as I slowly sobered up a bit I realised something and that was that nobody could replace you, nobody" Aaron shook his head as he explained his feelings more to Jackson. "Why would I be so stupid to cop off with another bloke when the only person that I want to be with and love is right here, and that's when I made my decision, by myself, no influences, nothing...although when I told Adam I was going home, I think he knew...he kept smiling at me..."

"Kiss me" Jackson looked at him, amazement in his eyes.

"What?" Aaron was surprised.

"You heard me"

Aaron smiled and he moved in closer until their lips met in a heated welcoming embrace that either of them couldn't get any more of.

...

Jackson and Aaron lay naked on the couch, their legs tangled with each others. Jackson lay with his head on Aaron's chest. Both of their hearts were beating fast, Jackson could hear and feel Aaron's. Both boys were sweaty and breathing hard.

"That took me by surprise" Jackson chuckled as he turned his head and looked up at him.

"Well it was the way I wanted it to go, if it hadn't of I dunno what I would've done...Oh...but I'm not saying just talking wouldn't have been amazing either cause it-"

"Aaron, relax" Jackson smirked.

"Sorry" Aaron said seriously then smiled. "I've missed you, I've missed your smile, your eyes, your body...everything. I'm sorry I've been such an idiot"

"I'd be a billionaire now if I were paid a pound every time I heard you say sorry" Jackson told him with a laugh.

Aaron sighed. "Sorry"

Jackson laughed and rolled on top of him fully and kissed him passionately. "God I've missed you"

Aaron was turned on again. "And I've missed how good you feel...let's go upstairs"

Jackson smiled as he stared into Aaron's blue eyes then he nodded and lifted up off him and stood with his arm out for Aaron to take.

Aaron smiled and took Jackson's hand firmly and confidently.

When he was stood Jackson lifted him up and Aaron wrapped his arms around his neck and wrapped his legs around his waist as he was carried upstairs to the bedroom. "What you gunna do to me Mr. Walsh?" Aaron whispered.

"I'm going to give make love to you then I'm gunna tie you to the bed so you can't leave me again"

"I won't Jackson" he replied before kissing his neck softly as they entered the bedroom. He was glad Adam was around earlier to pull him away from a hot guy that could have led to drunken misguided exchanging of numbers or worse, sex. Hot guys were everywhere, but Aaron had one of his own, but he was special and his hand he would remember taking in years to come.

TBC...


	19. Home Truths

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Home Truths"

This fanfic follows on **a few days **after _Getting Back On Track_

...

Jackson stood laughing with Adam, John, David, Andy and Cameron, they all had drinks. All the guests had been supplied with one, alcoholic or otherwise so he chose to mingle, he had no idea where Aaron was though. The house was pretty full, most of the village had turned out to their engagement party, he and Aaron were pleased they all came.

Aaron was stood outside having a sly cigarette, he almost jumped out of his skin when the back door opened but it wasn't Jackson thank god.

Amy frowned. "What's the matter with you?"

Aaron chuckled. "Jackson's told me or rather asked me not to do it anymore but when I drink..."

Amy nodded. "Yeah I know what you mean, one of those social smokers only when you drink"

Aaron nodded. "That's me"

Amy stood beside him and looked at him. "I'm really happy for yas"

Aaron turned to her and smiled. "Thanks, for a bit I never thought we'd get back to being us"

"Yeah but you've had loads going on" she told him before taking a sip of her drink.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, but that's all done now" he smiled.

"Don't think I'm being weird or anything but I' am a bit drunk but if you were straight..." she smirked.

Aaron let out a laugh. "Really?"

She simply nodded with a smile.

"Thanks, I won't tell anyone" he chuckled. "And I won't tell Eric and Val that you're a bit drunk either"

"Good, cause they'll kill me"

"Yeah but you've gotta have fun" he told her then looked thoughtful, he felt like he wasn't having any fun lately, the party was fun and being with Jackson lately since they got back with each other properly was fun, it always was but Aaron couldn't help but feel he needed other types of fun. But what he didn't know. He threw his cigarette away and blew out the smoke just as the door opened again. "Ohh it's a bit hot in there" Hazel complained as she walked out.

Aaron turned around and looked at her, however neither of them had really spoken since the day of the slap; he wouldn't forget that in a hurry. They simply kept up appearances when in the company of family and friends. He walked past her and back into the house.

Jackson frowned but had a smile on his face when he saw Aaron. God he looked amazing, he thought despite the lack of fashion sense on his part usually. He was wearing dark jeans and a very hot, in his opinion anyway, nice tight fitting white shirt that hugged him in all the right places.

Aaron smirked at him and stopped in front of him, Jackson leaned in. "It's a pity we've got a house full, because you look hot, and I want you" he whispered.

Aaron smirked. "Just look hot now then do I?"

Jackson shook his head. "Noo, always but especially now, damn..." he bit his lip with a smile on his face.

Aaron chuckled and shook his head. "Not so bad yourself" he winked before walking away from him but he turned to catch a view of him, and he too was finding the urge to rip his clothes off right then and there very difficult.

...

"There you are bloody hell kid, get me another drink please" Chas asked, clearly drunk.

"Yeah I do have guests to see too you know and no you can get your own because I'm off out" he explained.

"Why where you going?" she asked.

"Nowhere" he replied.

"Oh yeah, nice place that, been there before..." she told him sarcastically to which he rolled his eyes.

"You know where the drinks are" he told her with a nod before stepping away but she grabbed him by the arm and stopped him.

He sighed loudly. "What?"

"Where you going son?" she asked more concerned this time.

Aaron looked down at the floor. "It's not been that hard to notice that he's not here...I need to go and talk to him"

Chas instantly looked wary. "I really don't think you should do that"

"Well I have too and I' am so enjoy the party if anyone asks..." he frowned. "Well I dunno make something up" he turned again and left the house successfully that time.

"Aaron!?" Hazel shouted as she made her way to the door, but he'd left.

Chas gave her one nasty look. "Leave him alone, there's only one reason why I'm being civil to you right now Hazel and it's for them but I tell you, you slap my son again"

Hazel sighed. "Yes Chas, I know alright, I know! I've had loads of time to think about it and I feel bad and I understand everything a bit better but you have to understand at the time..."

"Yeah I was there too and I saw the state of Jackson for myself, but Aaron-" she was cut off.

"Aaron wasn't himself, I know" she nodded, accepting that fact.

"And he still isn't, not fully so just leave him be" Chas told her quickly before she marched off in search of another drink.

...

Aaron stood a few metres away from the door, his hands were clasped together, and he was fidgeting, stepping to the door and back again. He sighed.

Paddy was by his car putting some equipment in ready for the next day's work. He saw Aaron looking awkward as he attempted to build up courage to knock. Paddy shook his head and he stormed over to him. "What do you want?"

Aaron nearly jumped he wasn't expecting him to be there. He swallowed hard, nervousness in his eyes. "I-I-I came to see you, to talk"

Paddy shook his head. "I don't wanna talk Aaron; I don't even want to see you"

Aaron lowered his head. "I know what I did Paddy"

"Yeah and so do I" he leaned in closer, his expression and tone angry, very angry. "And it makes me sick!"

Aaron nodded; he knew he'd be angry. "I know I did the same to you Paddy"

Paddy shook his head and moved back from him. "I'm not bothered about me, it's the fact you did it again!"

"And I paid for what I did, and I've said sorry and meant it Paddy, me and Jackson are happy now happier than we ever were, and from what I can remember too, please can you forgive me? I sent you an invite, if you don't come for me then at least come for Jackson"

"No" Paddy shook his head. "You've really gone and done it this time Aaron, I've forgiven you, let you off with so many things been as understandable and supportive as I can with you over the years but I'm sorry Aaron I can't do it anymore. I'm done. We are done" he scoffed. "And to think I thought of you as a son"

Tears fell from Aaron's eyes. "Thought?"

"Yeah, you are no son of mine. Get off my property" he told him angrily.

Aaron frowned and his shoulders jerked quickly as he sobbed, he caught his breath as his emotions got the better of him. "Paddy?"

"You heard me. I can't forgive you Aaron and I don't know if I ever will. You're nothing to me now, glad I'm rid of ya to be honest, both of ya, you and your mum"

"Paddy I'm sorry" he cried.

"Tough" he grabbed Aaron by the arm and pushed him away from the house. "You're a waste of space!" he yelled at him as Aaron walked away crying.

He walked to the seat next to the phone box and cried, head in his hands.

At Dale head, Chas was stood outside talking to Jackson when she saw Aaron by the phone box. "Oh no no no no..." she said in the middle of her conversation with Jackson and she quickly started walking as fast as she could to him, Jackson turned and saw who she was looking at. Jackson frowned; he could see the state Aaron was in from there. "What the-" he said to himself and ran up to him clearly worried, what had happened?

Moments later Aaron flinched his arm away as Jackson reached out to comfort him. "Don't touch me" he warned through gritted teeth.

Jackson looked worried.

"I told you not to go love" Chas reminded him softly.

Aaron frowned and looked up at her. "You knew?"

Chas simply nodded. "He just needs time"

"Nah" Aaron shook his head. "From what he's just said to me and the way he was..." he cried again.

Jackson knelt down in front of him. "Hey...babe?" he gently placed his hands on Aaron's knees. "What did he say?"

"He-he said that he couldn't forgive me and that I'm not a son of his, and that he's glad he's rid of me..." he sobbed. "And that I'm a waste of space. I know what I did was horrible and I'm sorry, I always will be for doing what I did but I thought he might have come round"

"You're not a waste of space Aaron" Jackson told him bluntly.

"Am I not?" he asked, finally looking into Jackson's eyes. Chas sat beside him and put his arm around him.

"No, you aren't we all love you and so does Paddy deep down, he just needs a lot more time that's all, I know you don't think it now but he'll come round" Chas told him.

"I dunno, it's just a mess" Aaron sighed.

"I know it is, but like your mum says the whole situation just needs time, come on calm yourself down and let's get back to the party" Jackson replied.

"Mum can you give us a minute?"

Chas nodded. "Yeah sure" she replied and quickly got up and walked away.

"I love you so, so much Jackson, I don't want you to ever think I'm a waste of space" his bottom lip quivered and he looked away as another bout of tears escaped his eyes.

"Aww" Jackson sighed and got up and sat beside him and pulled him in close. "I'll never think that, ever...I know it has but he's really got to you hasn't he?"

Aaron nodded. "He's my dad and I let him down" he sobbed again and clung to Jackson's shirt.

TBC...


	20. Together Alone

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Together Alone"

This fanfic follows on **the next day **after _Home Truths_

...

The sun was shining and it looked quite warm for early in the year, the front door was open and Aaron frowned as reached the bottom of the stairs. He heard Jackson talking outside and he smiled as he walked into the kitchen for some tablets. After Paddy's home truths to Aaron, he hit the alcohol quite hard after returning to the party, he had a banging headache.

Aaron walked to the sofa as Jackson walked in.

"Oh, morning sexy" Jackson beamed happily.

Aaron smiled. "Morning, I feel a bit rough" he said as he sat down on the sofa. "And the house is tidy" he was impressed.

"Yeah well I wasn't hung-over so I thought I'd get it done, it wasn't too bad" he explained.

Aaron nodded. "Who were you talking too outside?"

"Oh erm" Jackson sat beside him. "Ashley"

Aaron scrunched his face. "We can't get married in the church, bit of a waste of time" he jumped the gun.

Jackson laughed. "No he needs repairs doing to the church roof I said I'd do it but after the wedding"

"Oh" Aaron perked up. "What's up with it?"

"It needs strengthening some more, it's a bit complicated" Jackson leaned in and kissed his neck. "Leave it to the builder"

"Yeah I will you lost me already" Aaron chuckled then turned to him and kissed him softly on his lips. "Is it warm outside?" he wondered.

"Yeah" Jackson nodded. "It's not too bad why?"

"We could do something if you wanted, chill here or go somewhere?"

Jackson smiled. Aaron wanting to make plans; this would never get old. "Sure, we can go somewhere"

"Good, I hoped you'd say that...the wedding is soon and last night you said something about not wanting a stag and neither do I...so I thought why don't we have a weekend away together? We could go into town today and see what's about"

"You amaze me you do" Jackson looked lovingly into his blue eyes. "I'd love that" he smiled. "Get yourself pulled round first though"

Aaron nodded with a smile.

Jackson stood up and grabbed the last bin bag of rubbish from the kitchen and walked out the house and put it in the bin where he saw Cain working, Cain saw him too and made his way over.

"Good night?" Cain asked.

"Yeah you enjoy it?"

"Yeah was good, how's my nephew?"

Jackson chuckled. "Sore head think that's stopping him think about the obvious if you know what I mean"

Cain sighed with a nod. "I could murder Paddy"

"No, Cain don't, it'll cause more problems and I'll be the one dealing with it like I' am now" Jackson replied.

Cain nodded. "Yeah alright I understand. So when's your big day then?"

"Next Saturday, you can't have forgotten already? You got the invite remember?"

"Oh...yeah so I did" Cain raised his eyebrow as he spoke when he'd remembered.

"Jealous you missed your chance?" Jackson teased.

Cain laughed. "On your bike sunshine"

Jackson chuckled and walked back into the house.

"Who was that?" Aaron asked.

"Cain, asking how you are this morning after the party, told him you had a sore head"

"That's an understatement, feels like its gunna go pop" Aaron groaned.

"Why don't you go back to bed for a bit, I don't mind"

Aaron turned to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go on..."

Aaron stood up and walked over to him and to Jackson's surprise he gave him a very, very tight hug. Jackson frowned slightly. "You alright?" he asked softly as he reciprocated and wrapped his arms around him.

Aaron just nodded then kissed his lips. "Wake me in an hour or something; I don't want to sleep all day"

"No problem handsome" Jackson replied as Aaron walked off. Yep, Paddy was understandably affecting him, and it was right to be. Jackson however wasn't going to bring it up until he felt it was right to do so.

Once Aaron was upstairs Jackson took out his laptop and sat down on the sofa, he turned to the stairs to double check he was gone then he waited for it to load up. Once it had he began searching for mini breaks away. The wedding was just over a week away, he hoped he could get somewhere for the next day, so they could leave when Aaron had woke up.

...

Jackson smirked as he closed the laptop and thankfully just in time as Aaron started walking down the stairs; he got up and met him halfway. "No, come on...back up haven't got much time" he explained and Aaron turned back, confused and walked back up to the bedroom.

"Why?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"I booked us a few days away" Jackson told him as he grabbed the suitcase from above the wardrobe.

Aaron frowned. "Ahh Jackson I wanted to do that" he complained.

Jackson frowned. "Yeah I know...but you can't read"

"Oh." It dawned on him. "Yeah..." he chuckled. "Good job there's logos on those pumps in the pub" he rolled his eyes.

Jackson chuckled. "Exactly now come on, get your clothes sorted, I'm driving us there once we're done, and we'll have three whole days just us and I for one can't wait"

Aaron smiled. "Me either"

...

Several hours later the boys parked the car up and straight away the sound of sea gulls and the smell of the sea invaded their senses. Jackson smiled warmly at Aaron as they both stood at the boot while they took their suitcase and a single carry bag out. Jackson smirked back at him as he closed the boot.

"So Whitby eh?"Aaron asked. "Any reason?"

Jackson nodded. "Used to come here when I was a kid, love the place"

Aaron smiled. "Well I' am liking what I've seen so far"

"Good, come on then let's get inside, see what the room's like" Jackson told him and they walked to the main entrance of the hotel.

"More like the bedroom you mean?" Aaron smirked as he walked beside him.

Jackson let out a sigh. "Oh yes, that too"

"So dirty" Aaron shook his head

Jackson let out a laugh. "Do you want me to start bringing up how dirty you are, rather loudly, right here?"

"Erm seeing as there's people around, no" Aaron grinned as they walked inside.

An hour later after unpacking their bags and making themselves feel at home, Aaron stood looking out of the window at the harbour, deep in thought.

Jackson walked up behind and put his arms around him and kissed his neck softly. "Penny for 'em?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Aaron tilted his head to the side to look at him. "Oh yeah, just thinking about Paddy, I don't blame him for what he said" Aaron turned back and looked at the view. "I deserve it"

"You know babe, he will come round eventually"

Aaron sighed and shook his head. "Nah, not this time"

"You care about him Aaron, you want him in your life, make it up to him make him see you're not gunna do it again, I was shocked he disowned you but sometimes people get pushed too far and they can't cope with stuff, he did it though and you've gotta fix it"

Aaron listened and nodded slowly. "I will, I dunno how but I will"

"Good, now bring your mind back here and let's enjoy this" Jackson told him and Aaron turned around in his arms to face him with a smile and a nod.

"It's getting dark..." he commented. "Fish shop still open?"

Jackson laughed. "God yeah, come on" he grinned and took him by the hand and they walked to the door.

...

Aaron and Jackson walked along the pier eating their fish and chips, happy being in each other's company, it was quite windy and cold but Aaron wanted to go along and Jackson agreed. There were only a few people around walking, it was dark but lights lit up the peer beautifully, Aaron closed his eyes for a second and just listened to the flapping of the water up against the peer, it was relaxing.

"Where's your head at Aaron?" Jackson asked softly.

Aaron sighed contently. "I was just thinking about the dream" he frowned. "Or nightmare I had earlier"

"Tell me" Jackson willed him.

"Well you had an accident and you were hit by a train, it left you paralysed from the neck..." the tone of Aaron's voice as he began to explain told Jackson that it had been bothering him.

"Why didn't you say?"

"Because of how stupid it would have seemed, but yeah it's really bothered me, then it moved on quickly and there you were wanting to die...I woke up then, the last bits are a bit hazy but it felt so real and it made me realise what we actually have and how much I love you, and I have no idea why the old me couldn't say it back because I see it all now, the future, our life, you, you are the most important thing in my life and if anything happened"

Jackson placed his hand on Aaron's shoulder and they stopped walking, both stood looking at each other. "Nothing will ever take me away from you"

Aaron smiled slightly. "Good"

Jackson smiled. "And anyway gunna be legally married soon...well civil thingy but it's a marriage to me whatever they say and we're gunna have a good life"

"Yeah" Aaron's smile widened. "We are, aren't we Mister Livesy?"

"Er..."

Aaron laughed. "Oh come on, Jackson Livesy...ooohh sounds hot!"

Jackson smirked as he watched Aaron continue walking to the end of the pier. "I'll think about it" he told him as he caught up with him.

"Good" Aaron looked at him and gave a nod. "Listen, I know I say it all the time but thanks for helping me with the reading and the writing, I'm getting there" he told him confidently as he nodded.

"I know and you're welcome, just remember it's not gunna come quick we've got a long way to go"

Aaron smiled. "I know, but with you helping me it'll make it easier and to be fair you make it more entertaining than a teacher could" he chuckled.

"Well I'm glad" Jackson smiled as he leaned against the metal rail at the end of the pier and he looked out into the dark. "Peaceful isn't it?"

Aaron put his now empty takeout box in the bin and snuggled up beside Jackson who placed his arm around him and they just looked out into the black and they listened to the sound of the sea. "Yeah...it is" he turned to Jackson and kissed him.

He moved away from him slowly, his eyes locked on Jackson's "Now that was romantic, getting good me aren't I?" he asked with a huge smirk on his face.

"Too right you are, I love it...Do it again" Jackson told him and so he did, Aaron kissed him again with more passion and force than the one before.

Both boys were going to enjoy their time away from the village and from the stresses of family and everything else, in Whitby it was just them, and they preferred it that way, but when they did eventually leave for Emmerdale, their marriage and life ahead awaited.

TBC...


	21. The Storm Part One

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Storm"

This fanfic follows **on a week after**_ Together Alone,_ I've chosen not to write the wedding in, I've done them before and it would be the same or thereabouts. But they are married now.

...

Aaron and Jackson lay in bed the morning after their wedding the previous day. Aaron lay with his head on Jackson's chest. "Yesterday was amazing" Aaron spoke quietly as he looked at his ring.

Jackson smiled. "It was...listen I'm sorry about the honeymoon situation, works been drying up lately and I paid for most of the wedding, and the break away, and I paid three months rent to Declan in advance, I can't afford it right now"

"No, we can't afford it right now, we're in it together...it's my fault really anyway you're attentions been focussed elsewhere" Aaron explained.

"And it was right to be, we had to focus on us and I had to focus on you, and I still will but today..." Jackson sighed.

Aaron sighed too. "The church"

Jackson nodded. "It can't wait another day" he explained. "The scaffoldings been in place outside and in for a week now, and I did promise Ashley I'd start after the wedding"

"Yeah I know" Aaron replied as he lifted up and turned to face him.

"What you gunna do today?" Jackson asked.

Aaron shrugged. "My mum wants to come round with photos of the wedding, suppose I'll have to listen to her babble on over cups of tea"

Jackson chuckled. "Such a housewife aren't ya?"

"No chance" Aaron frowned. "After that I'm going to work and I might see about a second job"

"Aww no babe..."

"Jackson yes I' am, you focus on getting more work and I'll try and get our money up somehow, how far will the church get us?"

"A month's rent after the three months are done, all the bills for a month, then we're pretty much screwed" he grinned.

"Alright, go on work..." Aaron lifted off him completely.

Jackson sat up, looking sad. "I'm sorry Aaron"

"No, it's alright, we'll deal with this" Aaron promised.

"You shouldn't have too, this is my problem" he told him as he got out of bed.

Aaron playfully slapped his backside. "Enough! Married now remember? A team"

"Yeah yeah" he sighed as he grabbed his clothes. "I know" Jackson sounded disheartened. Not a very good start to a marriage, he thought and he believed things could only get worse now, despite Aaron's efforts. But Jackson never gave up; he would seek out new work and get the church done so he could get paid.

...

Aaron sighed as he and his mum sat outside Dale head, he was bored and it showed. "And this one is me and Charity..." Chas said as she showed him the photograph.

"How did you get these done so fast anyway?" he asked as his eyes kept looking over to the church where he could see Jackson working on the roof, it frightened the life out of him.

Chas grinned. "I went into town early and got them developed"

"Oh right" Aaron cocked an eyebrow.

Chas looked up at the sky. "The weather did say we were in for a storm...come on it's getting a bit nippy out here" she said as she got up.

"Are you actually having me on and he's over there working on the sodding roof!"

"Son, calm down, he's harnessed and if it gets too bad, I'm sure he'll have the common sense to stop working"

"He flippin well better had!" he told her as he walked into the warm.

"Calm down, come on get some of those learning books out and I'll see what I can do" she suggested.

Aaron frowned and stood with his arms folded across his chest. "Can't be bothered, and anyway I've gotta get to work" he said and started walking to the stairs. But Chas stopped him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Jackson will be fine Aaron please stop worrying"

"I will when he comes down" he sighed. "It just makes me feel on edge, I didn't think I'd be like this"

"I know and you're right to feel that way, I'd do the same if it was Carl...when we were together anyway" she scrunched her face. "Actually no...I'd take great pleasure in watching him fall to his death"

Aaron's eyes widened. "Oh cheers mum! I'm going upstairs to get changed for work..."

Chas sighed and realised she hadn't helped one bit. "Good going there Chas" she mumbled to herself and walked to the door. "I'll be in the pub later, he'll be fine!" she shouted up the stairs before she left, when she did the rain had started. She sighed and shook her head and quickly made her way next door to Debbie's until the rain subsided a bit or until she could find an umbrella to borrow.

...

A few hours later Aaron was working behind the bar with Moira. "Looks like it might be a quiet night why don't you get yourself home?" she asked.

Aaron shook his head. "Nah Jackson's working anyway, I'd rather be here than at home worrying"

"Worrying why?" she smirked.

"Because he's working on the roof of the church"

"Oh...well he wasn't when I came in to work...must be inside now, weather is bad after all"

"Yeah true" he replied, Moira's words seemed to soothe him somewhat. "Oh you might be wrong, there piling in now" he told her as he stepped to the front of the bar and waited to serve what looked like a group of drowned rats.

"Ohh it's not good out there lad" Zak told him as he stopped at the bar with Sam and Lisa.

"Shouldn't you be home then?" Aaron asked.

"Roads blocked kid, stuck here till the weather calms down"

"Oh right well uh, what can I get ya?" Aaron asked.

"Two pints and my usual please" Zak replied.

Aaron set about getting their drinks.

...

Jackson climbed down from the scaffolding inside the church and he turned to Ashley. "Sorry Ashley, the weathers holding me up out there but if you don't mind me staying I can try and get as much work done inside as I possibly can"

"No, no that's no problem, just lock up when you leave" Ashley smiled and handed him the keys before he left.

"Cheers" Jackson replied with a smile. "Have a good night"

...

"So this road then Uncle Zak? What happened?" Aaron asked as he leaned against the bar as more locals came in.

"It's flooded, be loads worse now I expect"

Aaron flicked up his eyebrows. "Well as long as the village doesn't get flooded we'll be alright then won't we" he stepped away to serve Eric and Val. Amy was with them too and Aaron just smirked remembering their conversation a while back at the party.

Amy smiled back. "Watch it you"

Aaron laughed. "What?"

"You know what..." she eyed him and turned away. "I'll get us a table" she told Val.

"And what was that about like?" Val asked.

"Erm, private none of your business, what you having?" he asked.

Aaron got their usual drinks and stood waiting for some more to be served when Hazel came in. He rolled his eyes and made his way into the back but Hazel had already seen him.

"Uh Aaron!" she called to him.

Aaron closed his eyes and sighed before walking back into the bar.

"Can we talk please?" she asked.

"I'm working Hazel" he explained.

"Yeah, yeah I know" she nodded. "But we can't keep pussyfooting around this any longer"

Aaron nodded and motioned his head to the end of the bar and he walked over. "Can you manage alright while I talk to her?" he asked Moira as he passed.

"Yeah sure love"

"Cheers" he replied as he stopped and leaned against the bar. "Erm, you wanna drink?"

"Go on then I'll have a white wine" she replied as she sat at the bar.

Aaron poured her a glass and placed it down on the bar. "It's on me" he explained.

Hazel was surprised. "That's very generous thanks"

"Yeah well I kind of have to be don't I especially in front of everyone, just putting on a show as if everything's alright and it's pathetic because it's not alright"

"Yes I know me and you've not spoken since I slapped you and its made us to act okay in front of everyone but we'd have just brought the mood down on everyone otherwise, I wanted to chat to ya at the party but you'd left and your mum told me not to bother, but I'm here now and I want to say sorry for hitting you"

Aaron nodded. "I did deserve it though"

"And I should have been a bit more considerate to what was going on with you" she told him sincerely.

"It was a difficult thing to understand among all the madness"

"Even so..." she sighed. "I am sorry Aaron and I know you'd never hurt Jackson again, it was just heat of the moment you know"

"Yeah I do" he half smiled. "And you're right I wouldn't"

"So, we ok then?" she asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah sure" he told her and grinned when Adam walked in. "Alright lad!" he called to him and walked off.

Hazel watched him with a smile as Edna walked in holding her umbrella. "You should be at home Edna" she told her.

"It's just a bit of rain Hazel" she told her.

Hazel rolled her eyes and chose to mind her own business.

Aaron looked away from Adam a second while he served Edna, Moira was busy serving Declan and Katie, and the pub was filling up. "What can I get you Edna?" he asked.

"A sherry please oh and if you wouldn't mind telling your husband to clean up after himself it would be much appreciated" she sighed in frustration.

Aaron smirked. "Jackson doesn't tell me how to pull pints Edna, I'm not gunna start telling him how to do his job, but" he nodded. "I 'am sure he will tidy up once the job is complete"

"Is it messing up your flowers Edna?" Adam teased.

Edna just looked at him.

"Adam behave yourself, I'm sorry Edna, boys will be boys" she said as she glared at Adam and then walked over.

Edna walked off to join Pearl, Alan and Betty at their table.

"You should know better than to wind Edna up" Moira told her son.

"Yeah but it's hilarious I thought she was gunna combust or something" he laughed.

Aaron shook his head as he smirked. "I'm just going outside for smoke; I'll just be at the back door, shout if it gets busy"

Moira nodded and he walked off. She saw Adam looking at her as if wanting to ask something, she knew what. "Go on then, but don't make a habit of it" she warned him and instantly Adam darted around the bar with his pint and out the back with Aaron.

Amy sat looking on as Aaron walked off and she frowned slightly, then began listening to whatever Val and Eric were talking about with a smile.

...

"So he's still in the church then?" Adam asked as blue lightning flashed across the sky then an almighty thunder followed, the rain pelted off the ground in front of the shelter they were stood under.

Aaron nodded as he took a draw of his cigarette. "Yeah, to be honest mate we're going through a bit of trouble with money...well...will be if he can't get more jobs, I feel bad cause he was paying attention to me other than working"

"Don't blame yourself mate he chose to do that"

"I know and I'm grateful that he did but now I'm gunna be working loads if I can get a second job and if he gets more work we'll hardly see each other"

"Maybe" Adam nodded. "But think about when you see each other at the end of every day"

Aaron thought about it and smirked. "Point taken"

Adam chuckled and nudged him in the shoulder with his own and they both laughed.

When they both calmed down Aaron grunted. Chas had entered the bar. "God I can hear her from here, she had me looking through all the wedding photos earlier"

Adam chuckled. "She's not that bad really"

"Nah suppose you're right" he replied as he threw his cigarette away and it fizzled out in a deep puddle. "Come on then if I can't get drunk I might aswell watch you instead"

...

Jackson was almost ready to finish for the day, it was dark, and he hated winter when the dark nights set in. He sighed when he realised he'd left some tools on the roof, he shook his head he wasn't about to go up there and get them, he knew how bad the weather was. He started gathering all of the tools he had lying around and he put them in the tool box and lifted it and placed it under the scaffolding. He frowned when the thunder seemed to rumble right above him; it caused him to jump a little then a blue flash flashed in the windows, he didn't realise what was happening until he saw clumps of stone falling down; a lightning bolt had penetrated the roof and brought debris crashing down, Jackson's eyes widened and he moved to run but the scaffolding fell and landed on him pinning him to the ground. Debris laid everywhere and the rain pelted inside. Stone kept falling onto the scaffolding and it landed on Jackson. From outside it looked like exactly what had happened, half of the roof had caved in.

TBC...


	22. The Storm Part Two

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Storm Part Two"

This fanfic follows **on immediately after **_The Storm Part One_

...

The pub was pretty full and loud with music and chatter, Aaron wiped down the bar and sighed as he did, it was getting late, where the hell was Jackson? He turned and looked up at the clock.

Cain left the house with Debbie. The main road was practically a river as the water was flowing down the village. He frowned. *This is bad* he thought and looked around before they made their way up to the pub.

"Dad" Debbie spoke and grabbed him by the arm; she was looking at the church.

Cain turned and saw what she was looking at.

"Isn't Jackson working in there?" she asked, her tone becoming increasingly panicked.

Cain swallowed hard. "I think he was yeah"

"Well we need to be sure!" she raised her voice and ran over, Cain followed her.

At the doors of the church she turned the door knob and slowly pushed it open. It wouldn't have been open unless somebody was inside. "Be careful" Cain warned.

She only opened the door a little and popped her head through then she quickly pulled it shut and she nodded.

"Oh god!" Cain grimaced and turned and ran for the pub to tell Aaron.

...

Aaron took a drink of water from his glass under the bar and laughed at Adam has he mocked Edna some more. Seconds later the bar doors burst open. "Aaron!" Cain yelled.

Aaron frowned instantly. "What?!" he called back.

"Y-You need to come quick it..." he couldn't say it.

"It's Jackson" Debbie finished.

Aaron felt his heart sink. He stared at the bar then he found the strength to jump over the bar.

"You what?" Chas asked as she stood. Hazel got off the bar stool. "What's happened?"

Aaron scrambled through them all and ran outside into the heavy rain. He saw the state of the church straight away and he felt as though his knees were going to give way but they didn't, instead he ran down the road, ran as fast as he could. His feet were soaked from running through the small 'river' that had engulfed the road.

"Aaron! What are you doing?!" Chas yelled as they all began to exit the pub after Cain and Debbie had explained what they had saw.

"He's going for his boy Chas and so am I!" Hazel told her as she pushed her way through the small crowd and walked as quickly as she could down the village.

Adam burst past Chas and Cain and ran to catch up with him; several of the male villagers ran after them too, to see if they could help in any way.

The water beneath his feet swept Aaron off his and he fell onto his back and the water dragged him a few metres but he managed to regain his footing. Adam reached him quickly and grabbed him and they both rolled further down the village; closer to the garage. "What are you doing?!" Aaron raged as he unravelled himself from Adam and stood up.

"You can't go in there mate it's not safe!" Adam told him.

"Tough! Jackson isn't safe!" he cried and his tone pitched up higher as the emotion took over. Aaron walked quickly through the water, wiping his eyes clear of the water droplets and tears, determined to get into the church.

...

Paddy walked down to the pub where everyone was gathered. "I heard some commotion, what's going on?" he asked Chas.

Chas hadn't spoken to him much since he'd disowned Aaron. "It wouldn't concern you Paddy" she shook her head.

"Oh come on Chas don't be like that! What's happened?"

"The church roof has caved in, and Jackson was working on it, he's in there, dead, alive? We don't know, Aaron and a few others have ran down there but no, don't worry yourself Paddy you get back to whatever it was you were doing"

Paddy shook his head and he began marching down the village too.

...

Aaron ran down the aisle of the church, down to the main area where the alter would normally be, but Jackson had to move it for works, Aaron fell to his knees in front of the scaffolding, crying and he reached out to Jackson; he was lying face down with debris all over him, he was wet and cold from the rain, Aaron didn't know what to do. Adam barged in after him. "They've called an ambulance but they don't know how long it'll be...the main road is blocked"

"Yeah" Aaron replied. "I know. I need help with this" Aaron was no good sitting there crying, he had to do something so he got up and looked at the guys standing in the doorway obviously shocked aswell to what they were seeing. "COME ON!"

This brought them out of their shock and they walked down to Aaron, the fallen scaffolding and Jackson. David, Declan, Jai, Zak and Nikhil all stood at the front of the scaffolding. "Alright...on three..." Adam's voice was shaky as he took his place.

"No! Hang on...the debris...I-I-I need to move it off this so it doesn't fall on him" he said as he stepped carefully into the gaps of scaffolding and threw away bits of stone. Another hand came into view of his, Aaron looked up and saw it was Paddy. Paddy smiled through teary eyes and he grabbed Aaron's hand and squeezed his tightly, he could see he was about to break. "Not yet Aaron let's just get this off him" Paddy comforted.

Aaron nodded and fought back the tears and he threw the last large pieces of debris off the scaffolding with Paddy's help and then they both stood up straight.

Hazel entered the church followed by Cain, she started to run down to her son but Cain caught her. "No, Hazel it's too dangerous let them handle it" he pulled her back and took her outside.

"And Aaron's your nephew what if something happens to him?" she asked back.

"Aaron makes his own decisions Hazel, just stay here please?"

Hazel nodded; she was too shocked to cry.

Back inside Adam nodded to Aaron and repeated. "On three...one...two...three"

With all their individual strength they managed to lift the scaffolding away from Jackson, but it was too much they were going to lose it. Aaron shook his head. "Keep going!" he told them through gritted teeth as he pushed more with all the strength he could muster, as the scaffolding got higher, everyone moved forward with it and pushed it away from them and it fell in the opposite direction.

Aaron breathed in relief and ran to Jackson and knelt beside him and turned him onto his back; he looked peaceful, there was a patch of blood on Aaron's hands. He turned him back slightly and saw the wound on Jackson's back. "Oh god...Come on Jackson, Jackson it's me..." Aaron's voice cracked and he sobbed. "Come on, please..."

Jai stepped forward and hesitantly placed his hands on Aaron's shoulders. "Aaron...me and Nikhil are first aiders...I know we're not paramedics or doctors even but let us see what we can do yeah?"

Aaron turned slowly to look at him and he nodded. "Yeah" he replied his voice whispery then he got up and walked away, away from everyone, he needed a minute.

Paddy looked across to him, and he slowly began to walk over. "Aaron..." he said softly.

Aaron wiped his eyes and turned to face him.

"I-I- I think I made a huge mistake..."

Aaron shook his head. "You did what you felt you had to do"

"At the time yeah" Paddy added. "But now, I see that you'd never hurt him again, I should have realised it before it's just...you got me so angry Aaron and it brought it all back you know..."

Aaron nodded.

"But I was wrong when I told you that you were no son of mine" Paddy's lip quivered and he turned away. "Because you are and I love you"

Aaron cried again after hearing that from Paddy. "I did the worst thing that I could ever do when I hit Jackson and started beating him"

"Yes, but you've paid for it. I should never have disowned you and I'm so sorry for that"

Aaron nodded and he walked over to him. He needed him now more than ever. "I'm sorry"

Paddy nodded. "It's alright and Jackson will be alright"

Aaron looked over Paddy's shoulder and looked at Jackson lying on the floor and he burst into tears to which Paddy grabbed him into a hug. "He'll be alright I promise you but we've gotta move him so that the ambulance can take him"

"Erm guys" Jai interrupted. "He's still alive but he needs help"

"W-we can't move him Paddy what if-?" Aaron pulled away and looked at him.

"We have to take that chance otherwise he might die Aaron"

At that moment Chas ran to the doorway of the church. "We can see the ambulance but they can't get it through, they're on their way down with a stretcher"

"I wanna go with him" Aaron turned to Chas with teary eyes.

"Yes" Chas nodded. "Of course, of course you can"

Aaron nodded and turned back and walked to Jackson, he knelt down beside him and took his hand and kissed it softly. "You're going to be alright"

"mate..." Adam spoke but Aaron was too lost in Jackson. "Mate" he repeated louder.

Aaron turned acknowledging him.

"You're bleeding...your leg"

Aaron shrugged. "Must have scraped it when I fell"

"You feel alright though?"

"Yeah, yeah" he nodded.

"Good...paramedics are here, let them do their job mate"

Aaron kissed Jackson's hand again and stood up and moved away to give them some space. He turned and walked out.

Chas frowned. "Where you going?"

"Making a head start up to the ambulance, Hazel's coming too"

Hazel was surprised by his suggestion and she stepped forward. "Yeah, we'll be alright" she told Chas.

"Look after him" Chas told her softly.

"I will, and we'll call as soon as we know what's happening"

"Okay" Aaron replied and then he and Hazel started making their way up the village. He scoffed. "Yeah, storm would stop now after its done some damage" he said angrily.

Hazel rubbed his back gently. "Don't get yourself worked up love Jackson will be alright"

"I know, I know...it's just...why do bad things happen Hazel? It's not fair Jackson is a good person"

"I know he is and so are you but these things they do just happen" she explained as the adrenaline in Aaron's body began to decrease and he could feel the pain in his leg. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just my leg, scraped it when I went for a ride down the road"

"Bloomin' weather" she berated. "We'll get it seen too while we wait for Jackson"

"No, jackson's more important"

"And so are you to many people especially Jackson" Hazel argued.

"It's just a scrape Hazel"

"Down the length of the bottom half of your leg?" she raised an eyebrow. "Stop being so stubborn"

"Always am aren't I?" he smirked.

"One of the things my son loves about ya...come on then let's get up there...and this is the only time I'll willingly get soaked in a puddle..."

Aaron chuckled. "But it's not just a puddle Hazel...the road dips...rains gathered there...hence why the ambulance can't get through...get the idea?"

"Oh..." her tone flattened. "Right then...the things I do for him...he'll just have to buy me a new outfit when this one is ruined"

Aaron smiled slightly, remembering his and Jacksons talk over the money. "Yeah...maybe" he replied quietly as they carried on walking to the ambulance.

TBC...


	23. What You Mean To Me

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"What You Mean To Me"

This fanfic follows **on a few days after **_The Storm Part Two_

...

This was now Jackson's second day in hospital; his injuries were minor considering how fatal the accident could have been. He lay awake in hospital, his right ankle had broken and he had a really bad cut on his back from one of the pieces of fallen debris that had hit him, and a purple, yellow bruise surrounding it. The cut had been stitched thankfully but it was annoying Jackson. He sighed and looked over to Aaron in the chair beside him but he was still asleep, Aaron had been asleep a while, he even missed Jackson waking. But Jackson didn't mind, knowing Aaron the only reason he was asleep was because his body gave in and ignored what Aaron wanted to do. He then turned to the other side of the bed where Hazel was sat reading a magazine. She looked up at him with a frown.

"You aren't gunna complain about how irritating your back is, are ya? Because you only told me five minutes ago"

"Yeah well mum, I'm not very comfortable alright, I just wanna go home" he lay back into the pillow.

"Well you can't until they get the results from the CT scan" she explained as Aaron began to stir. She smiled and stood then leaned into Jackson. "You're husbands waking up" she smiled and headed out of the room.

Aaron jumped up when he realised where he was. He rubbed his eyes and quickly turned to Jackson. His eyes widened and he got up out of his chair, wincing slightly but he managed to stand at the side of the bed as close as he could to his husband. "Oh my god Jackson, you're okay" tears fell from his eyes.

"Hey" Jackson smiled. "I'm fine, got a broken ankle though and stitches in my back"

Aaron nodded and wiped away tears as he composed himself. "I'm sorry I missed it"

"Missed what?" Jackson frowned.

"You waking up. How long have you been awake?" Aaron asked.

"A few hours" Jackson replied. "Don't get yourself worried over it, and anyway when I woke up I saw your gorgeous face...I was fine and I had my mum here"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "Good"

Jackson then frowned deeply. "Hmm and anyway got a bone to pick with you" he told him.

Aaron scowled. "You what? I haven't done anything"

"I think you'll find dragging out treatment to that leg of yours until very early this morning was not good" Jackson shook his head.

"Oh come on Jackson, it's only my leg, I thought you'd been bloody crushed for god sake, not exactly the nicest sight I've seen in my life and I don't want too again!" he sighed and looked away from him.

Jackson sighed too. He understood how horrible it must have been for Aaron but he only cared about him. "It could have got infected Aaron, why prolong your suffering when I was being seen too anyway?"

Aaron shrugged and sighed. "I-I dunno, you were more important not me, alright, you –" he sighed again. "I thought you were dying Jackson, the scaffolding fell on you and debris fell too, your back for instance"

Jackson nodded. "I appreciate the sentiment Aaron, I do, but you are important to me"

Aaron nodded and looked down at the floor as he pinched his thumb with his fingers. "I'm sorry" he whispered.

Jackson reached out and took one of his hands. "I love you, I meant what I said" he smirked. "Nothing will take me away from you"

"Don't" Aaron shook his head as he came over all emotional, he wasn't expecting it himself but he was, he caught his breath and his faced scrunched as he began to speak as the tears fell some more. "Don't because things like that just happen an-and we never know when it'll be over...we were lucky, I was lucky because you survived that and I need you Jackson, I need you so much" Aaron lowered his head and sobbed.

Jackson knew Aaron would be upset over what had happened but he never imagined he'd be so upset to the point he'd break down. Jackson pushed himself to sit up and he wrapped his arms around quickly and pulled him close tightly, very tightly.

...

Aaron got off the bus back at the village and he stood at the bus stop as it pulled away with both hands by his waist; he'd come back to get cleaned up before going back to bring Jackson home, hopefully he thought anyway. He stood staring down at the concrete floor in his own thoughts. Paddy saw him as he walked out of Smithy and he walked over. He realised hadn't noticed him when he was stood right beside him. Paddy nudged him with his arm and Aaron hazily looked up and Paddy simply pulled him into a hug. No words were exchanged just simple kind actions.

Aaron appreciated the hug so much, especially now that they had both cleared the air.

A few minutes later Aaron was sat at the dining table in Smithy while Paddy made a brew for them. Aaron looked around. "I miss this place" he shyly admitted with a small chuckle.

Paddy walked to the table with their tea and sat down opposite Aaron. "This will always be your home, that will never change you know that don't you?" he asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I know, I just keep remembering stuff you know, when I was a brat" he smirked. "And even the bad times in here sometimes I want to go back relive it all, even change it maybe"

"But if you could change things, _now_ wouldn't be the same and you might not have Jackson"

Aaron pouted as he thought. "Oh, I never thought about it like that"

"How is Jackson anyway?" Paddy asked.

Aaron took in a breath as he nodded. "Apart from a broken ankle and a soon to be scar on his back yeah he's alright, sense of humour is still there oh and he even told me off about my leg"

"Yes well you shouldn't have left it so long"

Aaron tutted and rolled his eyes, then picked up the mug of tea and took a sip.

...

Later that day, Jackson Aaron and Hazel walked up to the front door of Dale Head; Jackson was behind them on his crutches, getting to grips with them. "Come on, catch up" Hazel told him cheerily as Aaron unlocked the door.

Jackson shook his head in disbelief. "Have you heard her! I'm on one leg for god sake I thought you'd be a bit more considerate!"

"I' am being, its cold out here and I don't want you getting cold now come on"

Aaron laughed as he shook his head. "Go on Hazel inside I'll walk him in"

Hazel muttered under her breath as she marched past Aaron. Aaron smirked as he walked down to his husband. "You managing?" he asked.

Jackson smiled. "Yeah, yeah...just a bit weird" he chuckled. "Oh and she better not stay all night otherwise she'll do my head in, she can stay for the takeaway but that's it – promise me?" he almost pleaded.

Aaron nodded. "Yes I promise you, once she's eaten I'll start telling her stories about the goings on in the bedroom" he raised his eyebrows with a cheeky grin. "I'm sure she'll run a mile then"

"Oh you do make me laugh..." Jackson grinned and pinched Aaron's cheeks. "But yet so adorable..." then his face turned serious. "You dare"

Aaron smirked. "As if ya div" he laughed.

A few hours later they'd finished eating and were just sat watching TV, Aaron had been made to sit on the single chair so that Hazel could sit next to her boy so she was close if he needed her. Aaron obviously wasn't very amused with her at that point and at the time he dreaded the next few hours and he was, she'd cut him off from Jackson, not in a malicious way just in a motherly way and Aaron hated it, he wanted to be close to him to feel his skin against his, to smell his amazing smell and to be able to look into his eyes and feel like everything was alright. But he couldn't, he'd sat in a strop all night, only talking if he was spoken too.

Jackson knew that Aaron wasn't happy with his mum and hadn't been all night he'd hardly said a word, he felt sorry for him and he looked so sad pouting in the corner on the chair. But Jackson decided that he'd had enough of his mum now, she was amazing and caring but sometimes enough was enough, he wanted his husband beside him, he'd missed him. But to actually get rid of her that was another problem to figure out all together. Jackson looked at his mum through the corner of his eye and saw that she was in deep concentration watching the program on TV; he thought of something whether it would grab Aaron's attention or not would soon be found out.

Jackson placed his arm on the back of the sofa and started waving it slowly in the air.

Aaron frowned when he saw movement in his peripheral vision and he moved his head in the direction and saw Jackson waving his arm slowly in the air like an idiot, when Jackson saw that he'd noticed he quickly stopped. Aaron knew what to do, or so Jackson hoped.

Aaron cleared his throat but Jackson spoke first with a small grin on his face. "What you wanna do later Aaron?"

Aaron bit his lip as he stared at his gorgeous husband. "You"

Hazel looked at Aaron straight away, a shocked look on her face. "Excuse me?"

Aaron chuckled. "I just answered a question"

"Well I didn't like the answer"

Aaron scowled. "We're married Hazel we have sex, I do your son all the time, and he does me back and I love it" he couldn't help but smirk.

"I don't wanna hear this, Jackson come on I'm your mum"

"Yeah I know you are but he was answering a question, should have been a bit more behaved but it is Aaron after all" he told her.

"Yeah I know but still, what you get up to is something I don't wanna hear..."

"Alright I'm sorry but it just sounded like you thought we'd never done it and we have and we did before marriage way before in fact to what I've been told"

"Okay that's enough boys"

Jackson nodded. "Sorry mum, think we've just missed each other that's all"

Hazel smirked. "Well he definitely has by the sounds of it" she sat forward. "I'll leave you two in peace"

Aaron looked at her and couldn't help but feel bad. "No Hazel I wasn't-"

"No, I know that love but it is late and I don't wanna go back to Bob's waking everyone up"

"Alright mum, thanks for staying"

"Anytime my boy" she smiled down at him as she picked up her bag. "You take it easy"

"I will" he replied as she leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"I'll drop by tomorrow, not too early mind...don't want to disrupt the action now do I?" she asked with a smirk in Aaron's direction.

Aaron simply winked.

Hazel sighed. "Boys!"

Jackson laughed. "Night mum"

"Night lads" she shouted back as she made her way to the door.

Aaron waited for the front door to close and he quickly moved from the chair to the sofa next to Jackson. "You are bad" Jackson laughed.

Aaron nodded. He knew he was. "Punish me then" he dared.

"Oh that time will come but until I'm better you're gunna have to do all the work"

"Don't I anyway?" Aaron frowned; they loved their usual joking banter. "While you just lie there and take it?"

"And that's exactly what I plan on doing tonight...taking it..." he rested his head back and sighed contently.

Aaron bit his lower lip as he watched him. "Better enjoy it then" he spoke softly as he leaned into Jackson and began kissing his neck softly then he lifted his t-shirt up and kissed slowly down his torso and stomach...

TBC...


	24. Blind

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Blind"

This fanfic follows **on a few days after **_What You Mean To Me _

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Jackson had made it down the stairs with the help of Aaron. He'd been great looking after him but he could tell he was sharing the feeling of cabin fever, apart from work at the pub the only place he stayed was home. Jackson sat himself down on the sofa and watched him as he pottered around the dining table tidying away their breakfast plates. "What are your plans for today?" Jackson asked.

Aaron curled up his lip as he thought and turned to face him. "Nothing just staying in with you, why?"

"Just wondering" Jackson replied. "But I was thinking maybe you should get out today, I don't want you to feel trapped in here"

"No, I don't Jackson" he told him.

"Well fair enough but go on get yourself out, I'll be fine by myself or I'll call my mum, she can stay with me, kinda feel bad about last night anyway" Jackson explained.

Aaron sighed. "Alright as long it stops you going on about it" he told him quickly with a smirk.

"Great" Jackson grinned. "What you gunna do?"

"I've been meaning to look for a second job...so that's what I'll do" Aaron smiled at him.

"Ok you don't have too though" Jackson reassured him again as Aaron walked over.

"Yes, yes I do Jackson" Aaron said with a nod and leaned in and kissed him passionately. "I'll see you later. I love you"

"I love you too oh and behave yourself" Jackson smirked to which Aaron smirked back and shook his head with a frown, like he was saying as if you need to tell me that.

...

Aaron breathed in the fresh air it did in actual fact feel good, Jackson was right he couldn't stay inside with him all the time. With his hands in the pockets of his jacket Aaron set off up to the bus stop. As he walked he stared down at the floor beneath him and didn't see Amy and she too hadn't seen him either and they both bumped into each other.

"Oh, sorry..." Aaron apologised then realised who it was. He smirked, still remembering what she'd said to him, the smirk was sort of a tease to her.

Amy smirked back. "We really will have to stop meeting like this"

"As if, you love it, anyway see ya later" Aaron quickly told her and carried on walking.

"Oi Aaron!" Amy called up after him.

He stopped and turned to her. "Where you off to?" she wondered.

"Town, been given strict orders to get out the house" he explained.

Amy smiled, she had wanted to be alone with him for some time now, she had meant what she had told him at the party that if he had been straight. Obviously he wasn't and she was aware of it but she liked him and felt that they could be mates. "Mind if I join ya? Val and Eric are deein me head in..."

Aaron nodded. "Yeah alright"

Amy smiled and walked to catch up to him.

...

Aaron and Amy had wandered through town for almost two hours now with no luck of any jobs going. Aaron felt deflated; he really wanted to go back with some news to Jackson. He sighed but then stopped at the end of the street when the building ahead made him smile. He motioned his head across to it. "Come on"

"In there?" Amy frowned.

Aaron nodded. "Yes in there and anyway if you want a drink on me then you better get moving" he chuckled.

"Alright but if I get any girls chatting me up I'm out of there"

"They won't" then Aaron saw Amy's response, a raised eyebrow. He laughed.

"Why not?" she asked quickly. "Are you saying I'm not attractive or what?"

"N-No...No I'm not saying that, you are I suppose" he screwed up his face. "They'll probably just think you're with me so I think you'll be safe"

"Hmm, alright then" she stepped forward and walked into Bar West with Aaron.

An hour or so after coming into the bar Aaron and Amy were well on their way to being drunk. Aaron was feeling the effects and so was she. They were sat by side, very relaxed. "Ahh I dunno Amy" he sighed.

Amy turned to him, his jaw line, the small sharp growths of stubble on his face, his eyes...everything about him was sexy. "What don't you know?"

"My life I suppose...it's been a rollercoaster...I still see flashes of the past sometimes and they really confuse me"

"When was your last one?"

"Before when I went to the toilet" he answered.

"What was it?" she asked.

"Of me and Victoria, Holly...it's weird the first thing I feel straight away is confusion, then denial that I'm not gay but then I just think of where I'm at in my life now and I'm married, I'm someone's husband and I love him to bits, then I feel the reassurance I need but it's always there in the back of my mind" he explained as he struggled to focus on the wall ahead.

"Everyone can see that you love him, you have something special, I wish I had" she smiled slightly embarrassed by admitting it.

"And you will" he told her.

"Not hanging around bars like this I won't" she smirked and nudged his shoulder with hers.

Aaron laughed. "Straight people come in here you know"

"Well obviously I'm in aren't I...but as far as bars go this isn't so bad"

"Good, glad you approve" he replied as Amy looked around and saw a poster on the wall for staff wanted. "Hey look...over there"

Aaron turned to look in the direction she was and he stood up and walked to it. Amy had too but it took her a little longer she was a bit drunk than Aaron was.

"This is great, think I'll ask about it..." he told her then walked to the bar. Aaron walked a few metres to the bar and waited for one of the bar staff to see him, several seconds later a tall hunky bartender stopped in front of him. Amy and Aaron were left speechless as they stared. "What can I get ya?"

"Er...Erm the poster about the job" Aaron cleared his throat. "I was just wondering if the vacancy had been filled"

"No" the bartender shook his head. "Not yet" he looked Aaron up and down. "You got any experience?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I work in my local" he explained.

"Alright, come by tomorrow afternoon for one and ask for Mike"

Aaron grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks mate, I appreciate it"

He smiled. "Anything else I can do for you?"

Amy noticed Aaron go into a world of his own again and she playfully punched his leg and moved into his view with a smirk on her face. "He said do we want anything else?"

"Oh...oh...yeah two pints please"

"No worries, I'll bring them over"

Amy laughed when the barman had gone. "You are bad Aaron Livesy"

"I can look can't I?" he turned to her as he spoke and without initially realising he was looking at Amy and it lasted longer than he'd have liked. He lowered his head seconds later.

"Yeah suppose you can" she had butterflies in her stomach and looked away too. "Just going to go to the loo" she turned and almost lost her balance. But Aaron was on hand to help. "I'll help you to the door"

"Thanks, sorry..." she apologised.

"No don't be, I'm having a good time"

"Yeah me too" she told him as she pushed the toilet door open. "Won't be a sec" she told him and left him.

Aaron leaned against the wall as he waited for Amy to come back out. There was something was wrong with him and it deeply concerned him. He sighed and shook his head.

Moments later Amy came stumbling out of the ladies to the point Aaron had to catch her again and stand her up against the wall. Both of them burst into laughter. "I think those drinks waiting over there will be the last ones eh?"

Amy nodded. "We gunna drink them then"

Aaron smirked. "Wey aye man" he couldn't help himself.

Amy gave Aaron a stern serious look. "Are you from Newcastle?" she asked.

Aaron shrugged. "No"

"Do you have a Geordie accent?" she smirked at this point.

He shook his head. "Nope" he hopelessly let out a deep breath.

"Well don't do that"

"Yes boss" Aaron replied and led the way back to their table.

...

Hours had passed now and since Amy's stumbling they cut back on the alcohol by drinking a soft drink between an alcohol one. They sat talking getting to know each other. Aaron found it amazing how different or in this case similar someone's life could be to theirs. "We're very similar me and you" Amy commented.

Aaron curled his lips, he thought. "Suppose you're right I didn't have my mum, you still don't, and we've had a very troubled childhood getting into all sorts of trouble"

Amy laughed. "Yeah definitely...isn't it weird how other people influence you, change you for the better"

Aaron nodded. "Paddy was mine" he smiled, he remembered most of his past with him now.

"Val and Eric for me, don't get me wrong they're great but sometimes like today they're really annoying...just had to get away..."

"Protective though, I noticed your phone ringing a few times"

She scoffed. "Yeah and that too...but you on the other hand, no one's rang you"

"Ahh you know..." he shrugged. "He's probably busy with his mum, I text him to let him know I was going to be late but he hasn't replied"

"It's a bit weird" she frowned. "He's your husband and he hasn't contacted you"

Aaron looked at her. "Don't"

"Oh..." her own thoughts and wishes were causing her to say things she shouldn't, trying to influence him to her thinking. "I'm sorry"

"Nah you're alright, anyway I think we should discuss something" he said before downing the last of his pint.

"Yeah alright then I suppose we should"

"You don't even know what it is" Aaron told her.

"Yeah I do, it's about what I said at the party isn't it?"

Aaron nodded.

"Alright, yeah I was a little embarrassed to say it but it's true and I meant it...I like you"

Aaron smiled. "I like you too" he told her quickly and it was obvious by his tone that he meant it in a friend way and looked towards the bar.

Amy leaned forward and pulled his face closer to hers quickly and kissed him on his lips. For a split second Aaron had kissed back then realised what was actually happening, he pulled away, his breathing hard and his heart pounded in his chest. "What you doing?" he asked in a whispery tone.

Amy moved away too. "I-I'm sorry Aaron I don't know what came over me I just..." she sighed unable to get her words out.

"Well don't!" A glimpse of old Aaron appeared and he jumped up, grabbed his jacket from the seat and bolted for the door.

Amy closed her eyes. "Idiot!" she cursed herself, when she opened her eyes she saw Aaron's phone beside her on the sofa it must have slipped out of his pocket. She took it in her hands and held it.

...

When Aaron arrived back in the village it was late and he could feel his pent up anger about to blow and it did, he swung around and punched the bus stop hard with a loud frustrating grunt; the force of it caused it to split some skin along his knuckles and as it scraped across it, it caused blood to be drawn.

He sighed and made his way down to the house, he was still angry and he didn't know when it would leave him. He entered the house and closed the door, locked it behind him then he turned the living room light on and he just stood there alone, Jackson was obviously in bed, even if he was there he doubted that his anger would have gone. How could he have been so stupid? Had he led her on, he believed he hadn't all they'd done was chat about themselves and got to know each other a bit more and had a laugh in the process. But what bothered him was the fact that for a split second he kissed back, and with that final thought, he scrunched his face and launched his leg towards the coffee table and kicked it, sending it a few feet away, causing a loud clatter on the floor. He breathed hard and slumped down onto the floor.

Jackson was still awake in bed; he couldn't have rested without knowing he was okay. He smiled when he heard the noise. His man was drunk. He didn't mind.

Aaron sat with his head in his hands and cried silently.

TBC...


	25. Confliction

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Confliction"

This fanfic follows **on the next day after **_Blind_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Jackson frowned as he made his way downstairs; Aaron wasn't in bed beside him when he'd woken. He looked around the living room and kitchen, even outside the front and back he wasn't there, he thought have been having a cheeky cigarette on the step but he wasn't. Jackson knew all along he was still smoking but he realised that he couldn't stop him if it was what he wanted to do. He moved over to the kitchen table with help of his crutches and picked his phone up. No messages, nothing. Where was he?

Aaron was in fact sat on the steps to the cricket pavilion; he'd been there after waking up from the couch at six am. That was four hours ago. In that time all he'd done was think over and over what had happened with Amy the night before. He couldn't resolve it, he couldn't erase what happened it was done and he didn't know what to do now and to top it off he'd lost his phone too.

Aaron sighed when he saw Adam approaching; he shook his head.

"Alright lad?!" Adam called to him as the space between them became smaller. He stopped in front of him sighing as he did.

Aaron shrugged his shoulder. "Why you here?" he asked.

"Felt like a walk" he answered.

"On a Saturday morning? Yeah right Jackson sent you looking didn't he?"

"Yeah alright" he trailed off as he sat beside him. "You got me"

"Why?"

"Because he heard you coming in drunk last night, apparently he heard the commotion, you didn't wake him though, I kinda got the sense he couldn't rest till you were home safe" Adam smirked.

Aaron cocked his eyebrow. "Sounds about right"

"Hey" Adam frowned. "What you done to your hand?" he asked as he moved to grab it so he could take a better look.

Aaron moved it away. "I fell" he told him with a sigh, then turned to look at Adam quickly. "Why do you think I came here?" he snapped.

"Ahh right" he said with a nod and then began to stand. "Peace and quiet, sorry mate" he told him before walking away.

Aaron instantly felt bad and he sighed before speaking again. "No, Adam...Wait"

Adam stopped and turned to face him.

"Me...Me and Amy went out last night and we got drunk, got to know each other a bit and..." he stopped to get the courage he needed to say what he was about too. "She kissed me"

Adams eyes widened. "You what?"

Aaron didn't acknowledge his reply he just carried on quickly. "And I'm worried because I kissed back for a split second"

Adam frowned and sat beside him again. "You kissed her back?"

"Oh please don't keep saying it mate, I'm worried because of it and I dunno what I'm doing"

"Do you think you're bi?" he asked.

Aaron frown deepened and he shook his head. "No, no...I mean I still see how good girls look and stuff but it doesn't do anything for me but when it's a man that's when things happen...so no...I' am gay I dunno what the hell I was thinking"

"And you didn't just fall over did you?"

Aaron scoffed and shook his head. "No, got angry punched the bus stop when I got back to the village"

"You need to be honest with yourself, try and figure out why you kissed back"

Aaron shrugged. "I will, anyway I gotta go, got an interview at Bar West"

"Oh when did this come about?"

"Last night before I got overly drunk, they want staff, I asked, told me to go back for one, so I'm off"

"Ah right well good luck mate"

Aaron stood. "Cheers mate" he replied and walked off.

...

A few hours later Aaron arrived back in the village after successfully getting the job at Bar West, he'd be able to work it round his shifts at the pub he was confident about that. However although he now had a second job exactly what they needed his mood did not express any happiness or excitement over it. As he walked down the village he saw Amy standing at the door to Dale head talking to Jackson. He stopped and frowned.

"Hiya, just thought I'd drop this back Aaron left it in the bar last night" Amy explained.

"Oh right, you went out with him then?" Jackson asked.

Amy nodded. "Yeah we bumped into each other on his way to the bus stop, asked if I could tag along so off we went" she smiled.

"Cool, he sounded smashed last night when he came in, thought he was smashing up the house"

"No er" she frowned. "No he wasn't too bad, anyway I'm off tell him I'll catch up with him soon"

Jackson smiled. "Yeah no bother, see ya" he told her and walked back inside and closed the door.

Aaron continued walking down to the house with his hands in his pockets and his head down. Amy saw him as she walked up the village, as she passed him he didn't acknowledge her. She sighed. "Aaron...ah come on man, I'm sorry I told you last night, I just got ahead of myself"

He still didn't reply as he carried on walking down the village.

"Aaron!" she shouted after him followed by a sigh. She shook her head and continued walking.

Aaron walked into the house and shut the door behind him; this was the first time he saw Jackson since the previous day. Jackson turned to him. "Thought I'd never see you again you were out early this morning _and _you never came to bed last night"

"Slept on the sofa" he said as he hung his jacket up.

"Oh and is that it?"

Aaron frowned. "What else do you want me to say Jackson? I came home drunk and I didn't want to wake you what's the big deal?"

Jackson was taken a back; he wasn't expecting him to be in a bad mood. "There is no big deal; oh Amy brought your phone back you left it in the bar"

"Oh right, been looking for that everywhere" Aaron answered as he walked into the kitchen. He stood at the sink and took a deep breath before turning the hot water on. He waited a few seconds until steam from the heat filled the air; he then placed his knuckles under the tap. He winced and clenched his free fist as the hot water covered the cuts from last night's punch causing it to sting like crazy.

Jackson got up from the sofa and onto his crutches and made his way to the kitchen. "Right what's up your like a bear with a sore head" he asked him.

He didn't reply.

"Come on babe, did anything happ-" he stopped when he saw what Aaron was doing and he rushed over on his crutches. "Jesus Aaron what the hell are you playing at!" he pushed him out the way and turned the tap off.

Aaron breathed heavily. "I dunno cleaning it I suppose"

"Well then you haven't got a brain could have scolded ya!"

Aaron shrugged but luckily Jackson didn't see. "Yeah well, that's me all over isn't it, no brain?" he spoke sharply as he left the kitchen and flung himself onto the sofa.

Jackson moved into the living room and watched him. "Whatever it is that's bothering you, you can tell me you know"

"I know."

"Go on then" Jackson chuckled.

"I've been getting flashbacks of Victoria and Holly..." Aaron began to explain.

"Oh right and?" Jackson felt he needed to sit down, so he did.

"It confuses me like I've explained before to ya, but then I remember what I actually have in my life, who I have in my life and that's you, then everything's better, I'm reassured" he told him and Jackson smiled warmly at him.

"No, don't do that" Aaron shook his head. "Don't smile; you won't be in a minute"

Jackson frowned. "What Aaron? I can't try and help you unless you tell me"

"Amy kissed me last night when we were drunk and for a split second I kissed her back"

Jackson's frown deepened. "You what?"

"I don't wanna have to say it again, you heard me clearly the first time" he told him as he closed his eyes.

Jackson replayed what Aaron had admitted to him and he couldn't help but laugh. Aaron opened his eyes at the sound of him and he frowned. "Why you laughing?"

"Because it's funny; you and Amy?"

Aaron nodded.

"Oh god..." he calmed down and that's when it sunk in "I understand that you get confused at times Aaron but..." he shook his head. "You don't do that" he told him.

"You're mad aren't ya?" he began to stand. "I-I'll just leave" he made his way to the stairs.

"No Aaron!" Jackson yelled. "You can't keep running from things and lashing out like you obviously did last night by the look of your hand! You have to face up to your actions and live with it"

"That's what I'm doing!" he replied through gritted teeth. "You won't want me now so I'm going to pack...consequences I think is the term you were probably going to throw at me next..."

"No" Jackson sighed. "No I wasn't..." he pulled out his phone. "Come here please?"

Aaron turned around and walked to him as Jackson fiddled with his phone.

Jackson looked at him and stood up. "Alright..." he turned the phone around to show Aaron the image of a topless woman he'd found on the internet to which he just screwed up his face. "Orrr..." Jackson said as he lifted his t-shirt up which made Aaron smile cheekily. Jackson was happy and he nodded. "Sorted then"

Aaron frowned. "How can it be as simple as that?" he asked.

"But it is Aaron I saw your eyes light up when I lifted my top up, when I showed you the picture there was nothing but a scowl, I know you like men...to be honest long before you I've kissed woman on nights out when I've been smashed and they were mates too just like Amy is...babe please stop worrying and don't beat yourself up about it, don't kiss back next time"

Aaron smirked. "She won't be getting as close again"

"And I trust you" Jackson told him lovingly and Aaron put his arms around him tightly.

Jackson smiled and kissed his head.

"I wasn't cleaning my hand, I knew it would hurt...and I wanted it too...some sort of punishment I suppose"

"Well don't" Aaron just nodded. "Can I sit down babe, can't keep standing on one leg" he chuckled.

"Oh right yeah..." Aaron quickly moved away and they both sat on the sofa.

Jackson held his hand tightly to give reassurance that everything was fine and it genuinely was on Jackson's part, any feelings of guilt were down to Aaron to deal with. "So, where have you been all day?"

"I uh, was at the pavilion this morning then I left for my interview"

"Interview?"

Aaron smiled. "At bar west, I got it aswell, start tomorrow"

Jackson grinned. "Wow that's amazing I never thought I'd see you working there...wow babe that's amazing I'm so pleased for you, but will you be able to manage?" he asked.

"Yes Jackson" he nodded. "It'll be fine"

"Good, let's crack open some beers then, order a takeaway, I think we should celebrate" he smiled.

Aaron got up to go and fetch some beers.

"Oh and when I kiss you, definitely do kiss me back because I love your taste, and your lips are soo soft" Jackson was being honest but he was saying it to tease him too.

Aaron turned his head slightly and shook it.

"You can't expect me not to wind you up about it can you?"

"No, actually I didn't think you would but never mind" he told him as he walked back with a bottle of lager each and the takeaway menu.

TBC...


	26. 7th June

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"7th June"

This fanfic follows **on THREE MONTHS after **_Confliction_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

A lot had changed for the boys in three months, Aaron was back to his usual self, no confusion, everything was normal and he couldn't have been happier. Aaron and Jackson had been married now for six months, time had gone by so fast but their love only just grew stronger.

Jackson's business was back up and running thanks to Declan for investing into the business, Jackson knew he wouldn't have done it for just anyone, but he and Declan had always had a mutual trust when it came to business and a friendship that kept growing.

Aaron had changed jobs too, the days and nights of juggling the pub and bar west began to take its toll and he had to make a decision on what to do; he decided to leave the pub and ask Cain if he could work for him again, he started doing small jobs and he was still learning, but now he managed the garage and bar west with perfect ease.

Ever since they got married the boys always did something on their anniversary every month, but with Jackson's work schedule as booked up it was until the middle of the next month, they had plans for that night, 7th June 2011, weeks ahead of their anniversary but the only time they'd be able to fit anything in. Aaron was looking forward to it, a romantic meal in town with his husband then probably a few drinks in bar west.

"You not gone yet or what?" Cain distracted him from his thoughts.

"No not yet, I will be in a minute" Aaron rolled his eyes as Carl walked up to them. Aaron sighed.

"Cain about?" Carl asked.

"Cain!" Aaron yelled while keeping his eyes on Carl.

Carl frowned. "What you looking at you nancy?"

Aaron scowled at him and shook his head. "Fuck you Carl" he told him as he walked off. "Right so where am I going again?" he asked Cain.

"Hotten to pick up those parts we need, the info is on the sheet - here" he said handing him the keys and the sheet of paper.

"Cheers Cain, I know it was a risk for you to take me back on"

"Yeah" Cain looked away, then back at him. "Something like that"

"Well I want you to know that I appreciate it, you've helped a lot"

Cain flashed a smile that even Aaron saw. "I know lad, go on"

Aaron smiled as he stepped back. "Not too bad really are ya?" he spoke with genuine kindness before he turned and headed to the car. He drove away from the garage seconds later and stopped at the side of the street when he saw Jackson walking up the village. "How you doing hot stuff?" Aaron winked when Jackson turned to him. He just laughed and so did Aaron.

"Yeah not bad gorgeous, what you doing driving anyway?" he asked with a look of concern on his face.

"Got to go pick up some parts, I feel like I'm ready now"

Jackson nodded. "Good" he smiled. "Don't forget we're booked for seven alright"

"Come off it, how could I forget?" he rolled his eyes.

"Because I know what you're like Mister Livesy" Jackson teased.

"Yeah yeah yeah" he said as he leaned his head out the window and Jackson leaned down to him too and their lips connected softly then with each second the passion intensified and Aaron had to pull away, his breathing was fast as he looked into Jackson's warm brown eyes. "I love you Mister Livesy, I'll see you when I get home" Aaron told him.

Jackson nodded as he stood up and stepped away from the car. "Love you too"

Aaron drove off up the village and Jackson carried on up to the pub for some lunch.

...

A few hours later Aaron had picked up the parts Cain had asked him to get and he'd stopped for some lunch on the way and did a little shop around town while he had the time too, just to get Jackson a little something for their anniversary, he knew it was early but the man he loved deserved to be treated.

He headed back to the village and instead of taking the usual route back he decided to take the scenic route back along the country roads, the road was quiet only a few cars passed him, he was taking it easy, he didn't see the need to rush. As he drove Aaron noted the crossroads sign and slowed down just that little more, when he reached it he had no idea what had happened, all he could hear was the scrunching of metal and the smashing of glass in his right ear. A car driving faster than the speed limit didn't slow down at the junction with the intention of waiting to see if it was clear to carry on down the road ahead. His car smashed into the passenger side of Aaron's and the car spun quickly a few yards down the road the other driver intended on heading down. Seconds later Aaron's car landed up right but not before the car had been smashed in, scraped and the windows all broken. But the one thing that was hurt the most, a life - One unique special life.

...

Jackson had finished work for the day and pulled up outside of the house and walked to the pub for a cheeky pint before he started to get ready. He saw Cain on his way up. "Where's Aaron?"

Cain shrugged his shoulders. "No idea mate, hasn't been back since I sent him off to get parts, if you see him before I do tell him he better have a bloody good excuse!"

Jackson rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yeah I will do"

Back on the country road Paddy was driving along after being out on appointments, he sang along to whatever was on the radio with his window down taking in the fresh air. He drove past the same crossroad that Aaron was and he quickly put his brakes on and stopped as something caught his eyes, two cars positioned very unsafely on the road. He took his keys out of the ignition and ran to see if everything was alright, but the closer he got back up to the junction the clear it became that not all was alright, glass crunched beneath his feet, it was all over the road. He checked the first car that didn't seemed to be too damaged, just a very badly dented bumper. No one was in the car. He sighed and ran to the other and looked through the empty space where the passenger side window should have been.

His car keys fell to the floor, his heart quickened and adrenaline surged through his body. It was Aaron. Paddy wanted to fall to his knees but he couldn't, he needed him. "A-A" he stuttered. "Aaron!" he called out despite the lump in his throat. He ran round to the driver side door and opened it and Aaron began to lurch out of the vehicle the only thing stopping him was his seatbelt.

Paddy cried out loud as he held him and reached across him to remove the seatbelt; when released Aaron began to fall quicker but Paddy had him in his arms instantly and slowly lowered him out of it and onto the ground "Oh jesus" Paddy breathed, blood had covered the right side of his face and he was pale. Paddy shook himself, he couldn't touch him but he knew he had too. "Aaron" he cried, his voice cracking as the emotion and pain overwhelmed him, he shut his eyes tight and sobbed, his shoulders jerking up and down. When he opened his eyes again he took a deep breath and leaned over him to see if he was breathing – there was nothing. He placed his fingers on his wrist and there was no pulse either. Paddy cried silently, the pain so very clear to see and he rested his head on Aaron's chest as he cried. It took him a few minutes but he lifted up off from Aaron and took out his phone and called an ambulance.

...

Paddy could hear the ambulance in the distance. This would probably be the last time he would get to be with Aaron. He took his hand in his and lifted it up and kissed it. "You beautiful, beautiful boy, you're too young" Paddy shook his head as he cried. "Too young" he sobbed. "I love you so, so much" Paddy didn't realise that the ambulance had pulled up and he jumped when one of the paramedics placed their hands on his shoulders. Paddy turned to them. "I-I can't leave him"

"You have too, what's his name?" the man asked.

"It's Aaron" he nodded.

"Alright and yours?"

"Paddy, Paddy Kirk"

"Alright Paddy I'm gunna need you to go with my colleague for a second while I take a look at him"

Paddy frowned and nodded; his legs felt like led weights as he stood to his feet but with the help of the female paramedic Paddy was moved to the side of the road.

The female paramedic watched her colleague as she checked the young boy; seconds later he looked up at her and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Mr. Kirk...but he's dead"

Paddy nodded and placed his hands over his mouth and cried.

"Did, did you know him?" she asked.

Paddy nodded. "He was a son to me"

The paramedic didn't say anything further and looked to her colleague. "There's no one in the other car, we better get the police involved" she told him to which he nodded and took out his radio to call for them.

"Do you want us to call anyone for you?" she asked.

Paddy shook his head. "No, no I'll be alright, just need to get home"

"I'm sorry Mr. Kirk but I can't let you drive home in the state you're in I have to call someone for you"

Paddy nodded, he understood that. He wiped his eyes and took out his phone and handed it to the paramedic. "Look for Chas, she's his mum, I can't tell her...will you?"

She simply nodded, it wasn't usually done over the phone but under these circumstances she would. Paddy walked back over to Aaron and watched him. He looked peaceful.

...

"Paddy!" Chas screeched down the phone. "Hang on I can't hear" Chas moved into the corridor leading to the back room of the pub. "There that's better, go on"

"Is this Chas?" a woman's voice came on the other end.

Chas frowned. "Yes who is this?"

"My name's Laura I'm a paramedic, we were called by a Mr Paddy Kirk...are you Aaron's mum?"

"Yes..." her tone changed. "What-what's happened?" She asked as she swallowed hard.

"I'm afraid your son has been involved in an accident"

"W-w-well is he alright?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"I'm afraid not, your son has died" the paramedic broke the news; it was always the worst part of the job. Chas listened to the details of where Paddy was, and then she dropped the phone smashing it on the floor.

Jackson heard the noise and moved within sight of the corridor. "You alright Chas?" he asked.

Chas turned and slowly walked out into the bar. She looked around at all the happy drinkers and all the conversations and laughter going on. "Erm, my keys...I need my keys..." she began to panic.

Alicia and Jackson looked at her worried now as did a few regulars. "Chas you're scaring me now" Jackson told him.

"Aaron's dead" she let out in a gasp as she broke down crying. She placed her hand over her mouth to try and stop it. She shook her head repeatedly. "He's dead" she was shaking.

TBC...


	27. The Tears Will Never Dry

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Tears Will Never Dry"

This fanfic follows **immediately after **_7th June_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

"Aaron's dead" she let out in a gasp as she broke down crying. She placed her hand over her mouth to try and stop it. She shook her head repeatedly. "He's dead" she was shaking.

Jackson eyes narrowed and they slowly moved to the floor and his head began to shake from side to side slowly. He felt numb; his heart sank with every second that had passed. His Aaron dead? No they were wrong they had plans, plans for that day and plans for others. He wouldn't leave him.

Alicia stood by Chas' side with an arm around her comforting her. "Come on Chas let's get you in the back...Jackson love..." she turned to him.

He was unresponsive.

"Jackson" she repeated.

Chas began shaking her head. "N-No...we've gotta get to the hospital, and someone needs to go and be with Paddy" her voice was slow and filled with sadness.

The pub was silent no one knew what to do, they were shocked by the news that Aaron had died and now two of the most precious people in his life were left devastated. Cameron walked over from the table where he'd been sat alone and he cleared his throat. "Chas, Chas...Come on we'll get you to the hospital"

Chas nodded and walked into the back to tell Marlon and to get her keys while Cameron put his arm around Jackson. "You too mate, come on, I know it's hard..." he trailed off.

Jackson's lower lip quivered and he shook his head. "It can't be happening, it can't"

Pearl stood up wiping a tear from her eye and she walked to the other side of Jackson. "Jackson love...do you want to go to the hospital?" she asked tenderly.

Jackson nodded after a few seconds. "Yeah, I wanna see him"

Pearl nodded. "Go with Cameron then, you're in safe hands"

Jackson let Cameron lead him away and out of the pub into the fresh air. As soon as Jackson looked around the village he felt an immense emptiness, like his life had no meaning and he fell to his knees crying.

Hazel was walking up to the pub and she looked up at the sound and saw Jackson in a state on the floor, she quickened her pace. "What the hell has happened?" she demanded looking at Cameron.

Cameron cleared his throat and he looked away then back at her. "Chas just got a call...Aaron's dead Hazel"

Hazel stepped back; she frowned as she tried to make sense of it. "No, I saw him earlier he was fine...he was at work and he was fine!" she said angrily through gritted teeth.

"Hazel I know it's hard but I'm out of my depth here" he motioned his head towards Jackson down on his knees outside of the pub.

...

Marlon reached Paddy in about ten minutes and he stopped the car behind the police cars and got out. He approached Paddy he was facing out looking at the countryside. "Mate..."

Paddy turned around; Marlon could see how devastated he was, as much as Jackson and Chas by the look of it. "I've come to take you home"

Paddy shook his head slowly as he just stared. "Or anywhere you wanna go that's fine but you can't stay here"

Paddy turned to where Aaron had laid on the floor. "He was in the car at first...but I got him out and I held him as I put him on the ground...he was already dead Marlon" Paddy's shoulders began to jerk up and down as he broke down. Marlon walked to him and pulled him in his arms.

...

Jackson stood alone in what seemed like the quietest coldest room he'd ever set foot in, he was stood looking down at his husband. Jackson cried at how peaceful he'd looked, silent tears this time followed by uncontrollable sobs and sniffles. He wiped his eyes and looked down at him. "We never got to say goodbye" his tone pitched higher and he closed his eyes and single tears fell from both eyes. "You are so special to me Aaron" he told him and he reached for his hand, it was cold, he then put his other hand around it to try and warm him. He sobbed. "You were my life, and to be honest I don't know how I'm going to get through this" he struggled as the lump in his throat prevented him from talking. He took a few minutes to calm down and he started again. "I knew from the minute I saw ya, you were the one" he nodded, that was the truth. "I was so attracted to you, and it never went away, you're my boy...gorgeous and sexy, most days full of life others not so much but I never minded your moods because it was you and you were mine...I love you so much...I hope you find some peace gorgeous, I only wish you weren't alone when you died...I know Paddy was there but you'd already gone...no one should go through that and it kills me that you did" Jackson leaned down and kissed his lips softly. "You knew how much I loved you but I need to tell you again, I love you Aaron..." he stood straight and let go of his hand. "Sleep tight" he sobbed as he turned around and slowly walked out of the room and back out into the corridor where the rest of the Dingles had arrived. Cain was strangely the first person Jackson looked too, he could tell Cain had been crying whether he'd admit it or not, Jackson just stepped forward and Cain pulled him towards him and gave him a hug.

Chas was sat on one of the seats that lined the corridor, Charity and Debbie sat on either side of her, everyone was distraught but they had to hold it together for Jackson, Chas and Paddy.

Paddy was taken back home after a while by Marlon, he didn't want to go to the hospital and he hadn't wanted to go home then either, Marlon just drove but it had been an hour and they were back in the village.

Paddy walked straight upstairs, Marlon thought better of following him but he didn't want to leave him either so he stayed downstairs in the kitchen.

Paddy closed the door behind him when he was inside Aaron's pretty much empty old room. He sat on the bed in the silence, then he smelt him, the room still smelt of Aaron and it made him cry, he placed his head in his hands and rocked back and forth. "Come back" he uttered. "Just come back..."

TBC...


	28. We Were Touched By The Hands Of An Angel

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"We Were Touched By The Hands Of An Angel"

This fanfic follows **on the next day after **_The Tears Will Never Dry_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Jackson laid in their bed his and Aaron's. He hadn't slept at all. He just thought about him all night, the man he loved more than anything in the world and he wasn't there anymore. Jackson cried most of the night but then it stopped. After he stopped crying all he felt was the aching inside of him, the pain of losing his husband, there was nothing to warn him of what was going to happen, what would lead to him losing him so soon.

It had been light for quite a while; he didn't move he didn't want too, when Aaron's life was taken so was his. He lay on his side, staring at Aaron's pillow. He didn't want to touch it for fear that his smell would fade, he could at the moment and it made his heart ache more with every second. But in his mind the smell of him made him feel like he was there, it was a beautiful smell combined of the pure manly smell of Aaron and his aftershave. The tears came again and Jackson sobbed as he clutched at the bed sheet beneath him.

Wishing well cottage was in sheer silence that morning, Zak, Lisa, Sam and Belle ate their breakfast without a word, none of them finished it and they pushed their plates away. Zak was sat with his elbows on the table with his hands resting on his forehead. He and Aaron had grown closer since his accident but even before that Zak loved that boy, they all did in their own way. He was difficult at times but none of that mattered, he was one of them, a Dingle whether his name said otherwise.

Chas sat in her dressing gown in the back room of the pub clutching a cup of tea which had long since gone cold. She was white as a sheet, numb...any mother would be. She hadn't spoken since she'd seen Aaron in that cold dark room, there hadn't been a word. Charity had decided to stay with her at the pub to keep an eye on her.

Cain was working that morning, his way of coping, what he didn't realise then was that he wouldn't cope but he had to do something to keep himself from breaking down. He knew he came across as the nasty guy of the village with the toughest exterior going but even he knew himself that on the inside he could be caring and he did in fact have a heart, it just never appeared often. He opened up the garage and took in a deep breath, the day was bright but foggy, a looming mist that just seemed to hang over the village; much like everyone who would be affected by Aaron's death, they're outlook would be hazy and their minds seemed to filled with a personal dark mist, Cain knew that because he had that too. The village seemed empty and he could not imagine a day without Aaron around, his lip quivered as he watched, waited for him to walk around the corner to start work, he lowered his head when he realised that wasn't going to happen, a single tear fell from each of his eyes.

Hazel hadn't slept much that night either, she was worried for her son after he left the hospital and arrived back to the village, he walked into the house and closed the door in her face unintentionally in his sadness and initial grief and locked it. She understood, he wanted to be alone, only for now though she promised herself, she couldn't let him lock himself away.

Pearl stood in her kitchen, she knew it was early but she needed to keep herself occupied; she'd made a cake, a lemon drizzle. She was now in the process of spreading the lemon flavoured icing on the top when she wiped a few silent tears away from her eyes and carried on. When she finished she placed the cake inside the fridge and closed it, as it shut she caught sight of the magnet Jackson and Aaron had brought back from Lanzarote for her, she smiled but more tears came, they were so, so happy then. That's how she would remember Aaron, but the more she thought she decided to remember him for everything, every side of him, because that's what made him, him; and this small village in England, this tiny speck on the planet would sorely miss such a special person to have graced their world, their lives.

Marlon turned from the bench holding a cup of tea and he walked to the dining table where an exhausted, grief stricken Paddy sat. He placed the tea down in front of him, his arms were folded on the table and he shook his head. He hadn't spoken a word either. Marlon didn't really know what to do, how to help. At the moment he figured that being there was the only thing he could do for his best mate. Marlon felt guilty in a way, he didn't really know Aaron as well as he probably should have, yes he was shocked by this devastating news and he was upset but nowhere near as much as Paddy, Jackson or Chas would be right now.

In all of this grief there was one person who was none the wiser to the tragedy that had struck the village and that was Adam. It was his day off and he hadn't heard from Aaron in a few days, he'd text him the previous night and a voicemail too wondering if he and Jackson wanted to go out into town with him one night. He left the house and walked to the quad and within a few minutes he was off and heading to the village.

...

The silence Jackson had been sat in for half an hour was broken when there was a few knocks at the door which made him jump; he didn't want to move but whoever it was, was persistent. He didn't want to see anybody but they weren't going away until he answered. He got up and walked the few metres to the door; unlocked it and quickly swung it open; he certainly wasn't expecting it to be Adam. He stepped back in shock. "Adam?"

Adam chuckled as he nodded. "Yeah that's me...Is Aaron around?"

Jackson instantly placed his hand over his mouth. "Oh my god" he said in a hushed voice but audible enough for Adam to hear.

Adam frowned. "W-What is it?"

"No one's told you..." his voice trailed off.

Adam's frown deepened and he barged in. "Haven't told me what Jackson?" the panic slowly building in his voice.

Jackson swallowed hard and he lowered his hand away from his mouth. He couldn't make eye contact though; he couldn't watch as someone else's world shattered, just like his had. He took a breath.

"Jackson?" Adam asked with a more raised voice than before.

Jackson jumped. "Y-yeah...I-I know just..." he breathed hard, he felt like he was going to be sick. "He, he's not here Adam"

"Eh? Why wouldn't he be? Have I done something wrong or something?"

Jackson shook his head and tears fell from his eyes just as he thought he had no more to shed. "H-He's dead Adam"

Adam's expression became blank instantly and he was taken aback. He began to shake his head. "No, no he can't be, this is Aaron we're talking about he's as strong as they come"

Adam was right, Aaron was but it didn't change the fact that he had died. Jackson scrunched his face as his crying intensified. He held onto the stair banister. "Don't make me say it again" he sobbed.

"J-Jackson? I-I don't understand" a lump began to form in his throat and he placed his hand on his throat and he looked around, his eyes filled to the brim with tears. "He can't be" his voice cracked.

"I-It was a car accident, he died on the scene...a car didn't stop at the junction on a crossroad, it was speeding and it smashed into the car Aaron was driving" Jackson managed to explain without breaking down, although his eyes were fixed to the floor and his hand fixed tightly around the banister so it would keep him up.

Adam began to shake his head and he placed his head in his hands as he cried. A painful, loud wail came from Adam and his shoulders jerked hard as he stood on the spot in front of the living room window in Dale head. Jackson just stayed still and listened.

Jackson pushed himself away from the spot where he was stood and he walked a few steps to Adam and placed his arms around him and let him cry against him. "I'm so sorry Adam" Jackson told him and they both stood crying now, together.

...

She walked along the grass to the steps of the pavilion, she could see the tributes and flowers already, and she couldn't help but cry as she held the flowers tightly in her hand. Once there she stopped and knelt down. There was a candle lit, a picture of Aaron and lots and lots of flowers and items, things that maybe reminded whoever left it there of Aaron. Whoever had started that had done a great thing. Amy wiped her eyes and placed her flowers down and stared at the picture of Aaron. "Our friendship might have been short but I'll never forget you" she laughed slightly as she cried, and she wiped her tears away, the laughter a sign that she was remembering the times they'd shared. "It's just not fair...you're going to be missed so much by everyone..." she took a deep breath. "Sleep well Aaron, maybe I'll see ya again someday eh?" she smiled and stood up again and walked away from the memorial.

TBC...


	29. Another Day Goes By

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Another Day Goes By"

This fanfic follows **on the next day after **_We Were Touched By The Hands Of An Angel_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Dale head was completely silent; Jackson lay on the sofa asleep with one of his arms dangling over the edge. Dozens of empty cans of lager and two one litre empty bottles of vodka were on the coffee table. He had drunk them the previous night; he still hadn't left the house.

The back door of the pub knocked several times, Diane and Charity watched as Chas got up from the sofa to go and answer it. "I'm really worried Diane, she hasn't said a word"

Diane nodded. "I know love it might just be her way of grieving, she's lost her son I can't imagine that" she shook her head.

Chas pulled open the door and Carl was stood outside, Chas' face remained expressionless when she saw him and he began to speak.

"L-Look Chas, don't go off on one, I know you're hurting and..." Carl sighed. "As much as me and Aaron hated each other it didn't mean I wanted this to happen to him, I realise now, that I should have been nicer to him and I'm sorry Chas I really am, if there's anything you need or want please just call me" he told her.

Chas raised her eyebrow slightly as she was looking at him, then seconds later she stepped back and closed the door on him.

...

Jackson had been awake for ten minutes, he looked at himself in the mirror and the man staring back at him was a different man, the one from a few days ago had gone, the one so happy. The bags under his eyes said a lot and the paleness of his face showed how drained he was. The alcohol seemed to help at first but the more he drank it, it made his grief so much worse and the worst thing was he could remember all of the crying from the night before as he sat alone drunk in a house that was made for a couple, a family. Jackson didn't have that now.

He left the house and he squinted as the sunlight was too much for him, he'd kept the house dark, he'd closed the curtains to completely shut out the world. He walked several metres directly across the road to David's and walked in.

David looked up and stopped what he was doing when he saw Jackson; he didn't look himself at all, which was understandable. He sighed quietly, what was he going to say? He had no idea. Jackson stopped at the counter. "Bottle of vodka please" he asked quietly as he rummaged into his pockets for change.

David frowned. "J-Jackson" he began carefully. "I'm really sorry about Aaron"

Jackson kept his head down and nodded.

"Do you think this is the best idea?"

Jackson shrugged as he finally looked up. "Can I just have it please?"

David turned and picked up a bottle from the shelf behind him and placed it down.

Jackson sighed and handed over the money, picked up the bottle and left the shop.

As he was about to cross the road, Paddy shouted for him. Jackson closed his eyes; he couldn't do this. He turned and waited for Paddy to reach him. "Jackson I haven't seen you since the hospital and I've tried calling but you haven't picked up"

Jackson frowned. "S-sorry"

"No, no...Don't be listen...you shouldn't be alone in there you know"

"But I' am Paddy" he replied with a nod.

Paddy looked away. "Have you been sleeping much?"

"Alcohol induced yeah otherwise" he pouted "No not really" he said quietly.

"Nah me either, it doesn't help you know" Paddy commented, noting the bottle in his hand.

"No but it does for a while...h-how are you doing?"

"Terrible...I feel like I'm gunna see him, that he's going to call but it's not going to happen...I have so many memories of Aaron but the one that I want to disappear won't, when I took that seatbelt off from around him and he slowly fell into my arms" Paddy struggled as did Jackson. Jackson looked to the floor as his eyes filled to the brim. "He was so peaceful Jackson, I held him so tight, like a baby but he was dead and I want it to disappear but it won't" Paddy wiped his eyes. "I want to wake up and it all to be a nightmare but I know that's not going to happen"

Jackson nodded. "I know that feeling...I uh I suppose I better go see Chas"

Paddy wasn't so sure that was a good idea. "She hasn't spoken a word since the hospital Jackson; I don't think it will help her"

"She'll be ok though?" he asked concerned.

"Eventually, I hope...I erm I needed to ask you something anyway, Chas isn't very responsive and I wanted to ask you if you'd find a picture of Aaron for the funeral"

Jackson slowly shook his head, looking at Paddy with teary eyes. "I can't" he gasped.

"Please Jackson...I'm all alone here, Chas is his mum but she isn't well enough too, you and me are about the only people sort of getting on with it"

Jackson's eyes narrowed at Paddy. "Getting on with it?" he spat those words like venom. "I' am not getting on with it, I don't want too and I sure as hell don't want to pick out a photo of my husband for his funeral!" his voice grew louder eventually until he shouted those last few words. "It's not fair!" he shouted again. "It isn't right, he should be here!" Jackson cried and stormed off back to the house.

Paddy shook his head, he could have chosen his words more carefully; he knew that.

...

Adam sat with his legs tucked into his chest as he sat on the couch at home, he hadn't slept either and he'd been crying. He sat looking at his phone, on the screen was the last text Aaron had sent him _**Haha you dirty stop out! Love ya mate x**_

He hadn't taken his eyes off it for hours, and all he thought when he read it was how much he was used to Aaron being around and being there for him he couldn't comprehend life without him and the sheer thought of it brought the tears on again.

Moira walked into the living room carrying a small plate with a sandwich on it and a mug of tea in her other hand, she placed them down in front of Adam and sat beside him placing her hand on his leg and rubbed it slowly. She'd stayed up with him all night to make sure he was okay, she knew the kind of impact Aaron had on Adam, in the beginning they all didn't like him at all, but slowly they accepted him for him, and then they did, all like him, he was extended family but this was hitting Adam harder than any of them. "You should eat something" she told him.

Adam shook his head as he kept his eyes fixed on Aaron's last message. "I'm not hungry"

"Adam-"

"Mum!" he cut her off. "I don't want too"

"She's right you know son" John added as he'd heard their conversation a little as he walked into the house and stood in the kitchen.

"Aaron's dead, he's dead do you lot not get that?" he snapped finally making eye contact with his parents. "He's gone and I have to carry on like nothing's happened?"

John and Moira both shook their heads. "No, son of course not, he was your friend" Moira replied.

Adam simply broke down in front of them and Moira pulled him in for a hug. "Why mum? Why did it happen to him, I just want him to text me, to call anything, and I know he won't and that's the bit that hurts. He was my best mate and he was taken away from me, all of us"

John knelt down in front of the sofa where Moira and Adam were sat. Moira looked at John with tears in her eyes and she shook her head. John reached out to his sons arm and squeezed lightly. "You'll get through this mate, all of us are here. Aaron will never be forgotten, not by us, the Dingles, Jackson or anyone else for that matter, you have to stay strong kid cause if you don't grief can do some strange things to a person and Aaron wouldn't want that would he?" John's tone was firm so that Adam got the message.

Adam simply shook his head and he pulled himself up out of the hug. Moira quickly wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry" Adam said.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Adam, you can cry, get angry, do whatever just grieve for him, let it out of your system...me and your dad are with you one hundred percent and we aren't going anywhere you hear me?" Moira asked.

Adam simply nodded and looked at his phone screen again, to Aaron's final message to him. A small smile curled his lips. "I loved him too you know"

John smiled. "We know, the friendship you and him had was one of a kind"

Adam chuckled as he wiped his eyes. "Yeah" he nodded.

...

Jackson stared at the plain white cardboard box on the dining table that he'd moved there before he sat down. The box contained Aaron's belongings that the hospital had removed from his body. Jackson had every intention of opening he just needed to build up the courage to do so. After running a conversation through his head with Aaron about it he realised that he should open it, and in his mind Aaron told him it was just stuff, and not to be a div. Jackson smiled slightly. Aaron would have definitely said something like that. He reached out and pulled it over onto his lap. He pulled the lid off, taking a deep breath as he did; there wasn't much inside, Aaron's wallet, keys, receipts and other random bits of paper, loose change and a velvet navy blue box. Jackson frowned. What was it? He reached in and picked it up, he opened up the lid and he was surprised to see a platinum bracelet with a rectangular flat band which seemed to be engraved. He lifted it closer and he titled it into the light so he could read it. His heart skipped a beat and he felt like his world was crashing down just that little more. The inscription read. _**Jackson, all my love always – Aaron x **_It made sense when he read it, the gift was for their anniversary meal they did every month, the one they would have had on the night he died. Aaron had got that for him, possibly on that day. Jackson sighed and closed his eyes tight as the tears dropped. He opened them again and put the bracelet on. "This is never coming off" he mumbled.

He sat back in the quiet again and his mind drifted back to the conversation he'd had with Paddy earlier that day and he realised he should help find a photo. He had plenty after all. He got up and walked upstairs to the bedroom and he looked in his drawer; there was a picture of Aaron that he'd taken when he was standing on the balcony smiling back at him, the sunset in the background. He looked amazing that night, happy and full of life, he was surprised he wanted it to be that photo, but he'd run it by Paddy first and Chas if she was feeling any better.

Jackson brought the photo back downstairs with him and put it down on the table, Jackson threw himself onto the sofa and he reached for the bottle of vodka, unscrewed the cap and took a long swig of the burning liquid.

...

Chas was asleep in her bedroom, she hadn't got dressed again that day and no words left her mouth.

Charity hadn't left her either, she didn't want too and she was fine where she was. Charity smiled as she recalled a memory of Aaron in a suit for something he wouldn't tell her about at the time when it was Cain's surprise wedding to her. She said that she fancied him – a lot. Tears fell as she remembered, but she quickly composed herself when there was a knock at the door, she sighed tiredly as she got up and made her way to the door. She opened it as she put on a little smile, but it soon disappeared.

"Gordon..." she spoke, her voice whispery, she couldn't believe her eyes.

TBC...


	30. Intervention

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Intervention"

This fanfic follows **on the next day after **_Another Day Goes By_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Hazel turned her key to Dale head in the door and let out a sigh of relief that it actually opened and that Jackson hadn't left his key in. All she could smell was alcohol and a mixture of other smells that fuelled her more as she barged through into the living room and pushed open the curtains. "Right you come on, up now!" she spoke with a raised voice as she started to clatter around with empty bottles and cans as she picked them up to take them into the kitchen.

Jackson groaned and sat up slowly. "Go away!"

"No!" Hazel replied quickly as she stood looking at him. "You've been festering in here for days, no one's hardly seen you, you're not picking up the phone, I held off as long as I could but I have to intervene now, I wouldn't be a very good mum if I didn't."

"Just go mum" Jackson sighed, looking extremely sorry for himself.

"No, I'm staying right here, get yourself upstairs and in that shower now you're stinking up the place and get those clothes off, you haven't been out of them, those are the same as what you were wearing when..."she stopped herself and sighed. "Anyway, bring them down when you're done and I'll stick them in the wash..." she turned and walked to the back door and opened. "Better get some air in here, tidy round" she muttered to herself. When she turned back she saw Jackson still hadn't moved. "If you really want me to drag you up there myself, undress you and stick you under the shower I will! Get up Jackson this isn't good for you"

Jackson glared at her. "You don't know a thing about what's good for me!"

"Yes I do!" she shouted back. "And you'll thank me one day, get upstairs now!" she warned him.

Jackson sighed and pushed himself up off the sofa and went upstairs, Hazel waited for a few minutes before she started tidying around until she heard the shower running. When she did she nodded and began cleaning.

...

Charity managed to escape the pub for a while, not that she believed Chas would notice in her current state, she was round the back of the pub and Gordon walked to meet her. Charity stood arms folded. "Alright, listen I'm sorry...about yesterday I shouldn't have slammed the door in your face but you have to understand Chas is in no state for people visiting never mind you"

"But I'm his dad" he lowered his head and frowned. "Was"

"I think you lost the privilege of that title years ago Gordon"

Gordon nodded. "I understand that but he was still my son, and as bad as he was back then I still loved him"

"Why turn up here Gordon? Aaron died and the one you're crying for isn't the same Aaron as the one you knew, he changed so much, still had his moments but he was amazing, I-I think you should leave, not indefinitely but you can come to the funeral"

Gordon nodded. "When is it?"

"Day after tomorrow, Chas hasn't had any input to it whatsoever bless her, Paddy's done it all, well he's had some help from a few of us but not enough...I don't know how he's coping"

Gordon nodded. "I'll be back then and Charity, I'm not back to cause trouble I just want to say goodbye to my son, I messed up" he nodded. "And now you have no idea how much I wished I hadn't...I shouldn't have thrown him out that night to come here and stay with Chas, I should have came to some sort of arrangement with her to still see him but he was trouble then..."

"You had plenty of years for that second chance Gordon" Charity shook her head. "It's easy to say it all now isn't it?" she asked then turned and walked back towards the back door of the pub.

...

"Feeling anymore human?" Hazel asked as Jackson walked back down the stairs, showered, shaved and in some fresh clothes.

"So so" Jackson pouted as he thought. "Today feels like an okay day" he said as he stood in the open doorway and looked out at the village.

"You'll have them love, and bad ones as you know"

"I erm, I have a picture for the funeral...for Paddy will you take it to him later? I can't go up to Smithy" he shook his head. "Not yet"

Hazel nodded. "Of course I will"

"I think he'll approve but if he doesn't tell him I'm sorry"

Hazel frowned and saw the picture on the table and picked it up. "This one?" she asked.

Jackson turned briefly. "Yeah" he answered.

Hazel beamed. "He was really, really handsome, even in the trackies and the whole sock tucked into them thing he had going on, but this...dressed up" she looked at Jackson who was looking outside still. "Beautiful" she added and wiped away a tear. "I know the funeral's going to be hard Jackson but I thought maybe you could get up and say something about him?"

Jackson nodded. "Goes without saying" he replied quietly. "I have some music in mind aswell if Paddy doesn't mind..."

"Jackson you were Aaron's husband of course Paddy won't mind...he's just taken charge of it all because you and Chas couldn't think about it, and he's only done it quickly so..."

"So that it's done?" Jackson cut her off.

Hazel sighed. "Yeah...I guess"

"It's alright, I understand, best that way isn't it?" he asked, his tone very neutral and calm which un-nerved Hazel a lot. "I can't imagine how Paddy must have felt seeing him that day..." he trailed off.

"Heartbreaking..." Hazel answered quietly as she sat down on the couch. "He won't ever forget how he looked, how he felt to him..." Hazel turned to face Jackson seconds later when he let out a sniffle.

"I-I wish it was me who found him...j-just to have that..." he sighed, struggling with his words.

"Closure?"

"Sort of yeah...the goodbye, I saw him in the hospital I know and I should be grateful it was someone he knew who found him but I'm his husband mum..." he sobbed some more. "I should have been holding him in my arms, even if he never knew..."

"Oh Jackson..." Hazel rushed from the sofa and walked to the door and held him. "I've always believed in a life after death and I believe that he's around you, everyone who loved him he's around us all...and he was there with paddy after he'd gone and he's probably here now..."

"Having a right laugh at me I expect?" Jackson asked as they parted from their hug.

Hazel smiled. "Maybe, but he'll understand. You will get through this Jackson, it's not going to be easy for any of us, we all have to help each other otherwise...what's the point?"

Jackson nodded, it was one of his better days he knew there'd be more bad days, he just had to take it a day at a time.

"Anyway you, you didn't bring your washing down did you?"

Jackson smirked.

"Go on...go and get it...I'll stick it in the wash then we'll go for a walk...just me and you" she smiled.

Jackson nodded and went back upstairs to collect his washing and came back minutes later, Hazel put the clothes on a cycle and they left the house hand in hand and went for a walk; anywhere they're legs took them.

TBC...


	31. Smile, Though Your Heart Is Breaking

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Smile, Though Your Heart Is Breaking"

This fanfic follows **on the next day after **_Intervention_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Jackson looked up into the mirror after adjusting his tie, he sighed and nodded slightly to himself, he was ready, dressed in a black suit and tie. The last time he wore something similar to that was his wedding to Aaron. He lowered his head; he couldn't stand the image before him. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes had seemed to get worse over the last couple of days; every night's sleep up to now had gotten lesser every night. He felt numb; he should not be doing this. None of them should be. Jackson should have been getting at Aaron for leaving his dirty washing everywhere or for not washing up after him. He stepped away from the mirror and turned to walk out of the bedroom. He stopped suddenly and sat on the edge of their bed and took a picture of them from the bedside table in both in his hands, he ran his thumb slowly over Aaron's face. "I hope today is everything you ever wanted it to be, even though you never probably thought about it" he spoke to the image of his husband as teardrops fell onto the glass flame. He sniffed and put it down quickly; he wiped his eyes and took in a deep breath. He couldn't cry; not yet anyway, he had to get through the day.

Chas was sat on a dining table chair in the back of the pub with Cain, Diane, Charity, Debbie and Cameron. Chas still hadn't uttered a word ever since she'd left the hospital on that horrible, horrible day when her only son, her beautiful boy lost his life. Everyone was concerned for her, but they just had to leave her to unravel herself from the darkness; whenever that may be.

"What time does it start?" Debbie asked.

Cain looked up from his can of lager, he cleared his throat. "Eleven" he replied quietly.

Debbie nodded. "I erm I hear our Eli is coming and Ryan..."

Cain raised his eyebrows in surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah, it'll be good to see them, shame about the circumstances"

"It's usually the case though isn't it?" Diane added.

Debbie half smiled at her and put her empty glass by the sink.

"And Gordon" Charity finally told them, and she had evoked a response from Chas, a slight movement of her eyes.

"That scumbag isn't stepping one foot in that church!" Cain blurted out. "You organise this did ya?" he glared at Charity.

"Dad! Not today!" Debbie warned him

She shook her head. "He came here the other day on his own accord but him coming today yes I told him he could" she glanced at Chas as she spoke.

"Well he better keep away from me then" Cain told her but everyone got the message.

"Right, right, let's all just calm down, this shouldn't be happening not today, this is Aaron's day" Cameron tried to calm the situation some more.

Cain frowned, glaring at him. "You what? You say that as if it's a good thing"

Cameron sighed and turned away, he couldn't believe Cain had taken what he'd said in that way. He turned back to him. "No Cain, you know full well how I meant what I said"

Cain shook his head. "It shouldn't be his day at all" he spoke angrily through gritted teeth and he stormed to the door and left, then seconds later the back door slammed shut.

Charity lowered her head and sighed.

"I-I'm sorry everybody I didn't mean it like that" Cameron apologised.

Debbie rubbed his arm gently. "It's alright, we know...he's just struggling, he won't admit it but I see it everyday"

Chas lowered her head and stared down at the locket she was wearing, given to her by Aaron on the Christmas day that had just gone; she twiddled it in her fingers. Inside was a photo of him.

...

Adam stood with his hands against a fence outside his house, staring out at the fields with his earphones in his ears, listening to some music, music that reminded him of Aaron.

_Time has come for letting go_

_The hardest part is when you know, all of these years when we were here – are ending. _

_But I'll always remember...we have had the time of our lives_

Adam smiled with teary eyes and he struggled, he gripped the fence tighter and he lowered his head as he scrunched his face and cried as he listened more to the song that was playing.

_We have had the time of our lives and I will not forget the faces left behind; it's hard to walk away from the best of days_

Adam nodded as he sobbed, he couldn't walk away from those memories, he never would, this day was already becoming too much for him.

_But if it has to end I'm glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives _

Adam turned and slid down the fence as he broke down as the song continued playing.

_Where the water meets the land, there is shifting in the sand, like the tide that ebbs and flows, memories will come and go, all of these years when we were here are ending but I'll always remember..._

Adam took out his iPod and stopped the song; it was too much for him. He breathed hard to calm down and he got to his feet again. He wiped his eyes and walked towards the house. Before he got to the door; it opened and his mum, dad and sisters began walking out.

Moira looked sad as the first thing she'd noticed was that he'd been crying. "You ready?"

Adam shook his head. "Not really" he replied in a hushed tone.

"I know son" John nodded. "We're here though...we'll leave you to it but if you need us we'll be there" John told him.

Adam nodded. "Cheers dad"

...

Paddy had been at the church for a while much to the dismay of Marlon who thought he should just go when everyone else had. He sat watching Paddy run around getting certain things ready; he'd placed Aaron's photo down on the stand and now he was getting the music ready; he was grateful to Jackson for helping; even just those small details but yet they were important things that needed to be included into his funeral. And it was personal, Paddy wanted him to choose the songs and the photo, he was his husband after all; he would have known a bit better what felt right.

"It's nearly eleven Paddy...people will be arriving soon"

Paddy nodded as he paced the floor, he pinched his lower lip with his finger and thumb. "I-I know...I know..."

"Paddy mate...come on"

"I can't Marlon – if I stop I'm just gunna be a mess"

"I know but it's going to happen sooner or later...I know you don't wanna break down crying, who does? But when it comes it'll come and you have to let it mate..."

Paddy nodded. "I best go outside and wait for people" he said and marched up the aisle.

Marlon got up and followed him.

Jackson stood on the step of Dale head looking around the village, a lot of people were heading to the church, and he was surprised – even Edna was joining Pearl and the rest of the older residents. What a right laugh Aaron would have if he could see that.

He hadn't noticed his mum and Bob stop in front of the house. Hazel frowned, and looked at Bob then at Jackson. Bob stepped forward. "Jackson mate?"

Jackson blinked and came out of his thoughts and realised they were there.

"You ready son?"

Jackson shook his head. "I'm about to bury my husband mum, my Aaron...I never thought I'd have too and I don't want too..."

"I know love but you can't not go..."

Jackson sighed and closed his eyes briefly, then turned and closed the front door and walked to them. "I know"

Hazel nodded. "That's better" she told him and then he gave a wary look to Bob as they followed Jackson.

As they approached the church, Jackson stopped and turned to them but saw Chas, Debbie, Charity, Cain, Diane and Cameron heading towards them. He stepped towards his mum. "Mum...I erm...I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything but I think I should be with Chas today..."

Hazel simply smiled. "I know, if you hadn't of realised that I would have clipped you round the ear...go on son" she nodded.

Jackson smiled slightly and hugged her. "Thankyou" he whispered then he headed up to Chas.

When Jackson met up with them, he received looks of sympathy and a deeper connection an understanding had been formed between him and Cain somehow as they nodded to each other. Charity unwound her arm from Chas' and stepped away and nodded to Jackson. He quickly took her place and he felt her grip around his arm tighten instantly, very tightly. He looked at her and placed his hand on her arm and rubbed it in a reassuring manner.

They all arrived at the church and Jackson heard his collection of music playing, music he wanted for when people were arriving, mingling and getting seated. The song playing at the moment was _Whenever You Remember _by Carrie Underwood; it was a beautiful song, sad but forced people to remember the times they had with Aaron, good or bad. Ashley was stood outside with Marlon Paddy, Adam and Zak; they along with Jackson and Cain were the pallbearers for the funeral. Ashley smiled slightly at Jackson and Chas, fully aware of their grief. "Everybody is inside, talking about him..."

Jackson nodded.

"He's here..." Paddy told them as he looked up and saw the hearse arriving.

"Do you want to stay out here Chas?" Jackson asked, not having turned to look yet.

Chas shook her head and started to walk inside with Cameron, Charity and Debbie.

Jackson watched them walk inside and then turned to see the hearse pull up a few metres away. Jackson let out a breath, on either side of the coffin were flowers spelling a word. _Husband _and _Son. _Jackson felt like his knees were going to give way but he forced himself to stay standing, he had to do this for Aaron. Cain gripped Jackson's shoulder reassuringly. "Come on" he told them all. "Let's give our lad the send off he deserves"

Paddy smiled at him as they all walked to either side of the coffin that had been pulled out. They all lifted it up on three and held it on their shoulders holding the handle tightly. Paddy and Jackson were at the front, then Adam and Cain, and then Marlon and Zak.

Ashley was inside ready. "If you could all stand please" he announced and everyone stood. Chas now began to struggle, the reality of it all becoming so much more real; she had to hold onto the back of the row in front for support. Charity placed her arm around her.

The pallbearers walked in slowly down the aisle as soft music was playing. The walk seemed like an eternity for Jackson, the texture and feel of the coffin at his side now firmly etched into his memory.

They laid the coffin down slowly, and all of them except Jackson rested their hand on top of it for a brief second and went to take their seat. Jackson read the plaque on top. _Aaron Livesy, 5__th__ January1992 to June 7__th__ 2011 _He placed his hand on it and leaned down and kissed above the plaque. "I'll never forget you" his lip quivered as his eyes filled with tears and he stepped away and stood by Chas and Adam. Ashley told everyone to sit seconds later once Jackson was ready.

Charity looked to the back of the church rather impatiently but seconds later he walked in – Gordon Livesy. She frowned when she noted the expressions on his face when he saw the coffin, the sheer reality that his son was dead. It was like a rock had hit him in the chest. They made eye contact and she nodded to him, sort of giving her approval. He nodded back to her and sat down on the last row.

Ashley took a breath and began as the church was silent. "Today, we have two tasks before us, one difficult and one extremely easy. The difficult task is to return Aaron's remains to the earth from which he ultimately came. The second which is easier and comforting, is to celebrate his life"

Ashley looked around at the church; it was full of people who loved Aaron in their own way. "Now for a prayer..." Everyone bowed their heads and closed their eyes. Heavenly Father, you who gave us life and then receives us again in death, we thank you for always being there for us and for the grace you give us through your son, Jesus Christ. In our weakness, we look to you for strength and in our sorrow for comfort. Help us now to put our faith and trust in you, that we might experience anew your grace leading to eternal hope, through our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

"Amen" echoed through the church.

"Right now, it is difficult for us to see beyond our grief, to reconcile the great loss we feel with Aaron's passing. If we are made in his image, and the world declares his glory, then we should be able to see Aaron in everything around us, Adam would like to read a poem"

Adam got to his feet and stood at the pulpit; he shakily unfolded the piece of paper and laid it flat. He took a breath, preparing himself. He looked down at the sheet and read.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I did not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow; I am the diamond glints on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush  
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die.  
Do not look for Aaron here..." Adam stopped; the lump in his throat threatened him from finishing, tears dropped from his eyes.

A lot of people were crying now, silently, some audible like Chas.

"...because you won't find him" Adam's voice cracked as he carried on, he was tapping his foot on the floor as he read. He was struggling, the pain in his expression clear to see. "Look for him in the gently falling snow, in the brilliant bloom of spring's flowers, in the bright stars at night, in the gentle sounds of waves lapping on the beach" he stopped and picked up the paper and stepped away.

Ashley smiled at Adam as he walked off, a smile of comfort. "Jackson..."

Jackson stood up and walked to the pulpit. He cleared his throat and looked over to the coffin. "I erm I knew I'd be up here today but I haven't written anything in preparation because the truth of the matter is I..." he frowned. "I've been lost, I still am...and I guess now I always will be because...Aaron...h-he was the one, and I mean that" he nodded. "I gave my heart to him and eventually he gave me his back and I treasured it every single day" Jackson looked down and he bit his lip. He looked up again and people could see he was getting upset. "Me and Aaron we only knew each other for just over a year and I know it must seem strange that we got married but no one will ever be able to understand the love we shared, the connection we had, granted our time together was not perfect, not every day but when it was, it really, really was" Jackson smiled and wiped his eyes. "I helped him so much throughout our time together and I don't regret it one bit" he shook his head. "I don't but I do want to ask one thing from him if he can hear me" his breathing and speech became shaky as he spoke, the emotions were overwhelming and he looked to the coffin. "I-I need you to give me the strength to get through this..." he looked back out to the church full of people. "He was my world, I loved him" he swallowed hard. "But he was ripped away from me, the last thing he said to me was that he loved me, and that's all I'll ever hear, Aaron Livesy was my world and I will never ever forget him" he sobbed. "He's too special to be forgotten" Jackson let out a shaky breath and stepped down.

Gordon lowered his head, it was a shock to find out that he was married, and especially to a man but he had no right to an opinion, not now not ever, he knew that. He regretted the mistake he made years ago and the time he wasted with him. He couldn't change it now.

"Now before we move on with the sermon I have another prayer I think fit-" Ashley stopped when he saw Chas stand.

"Chas?" Jackson asked as he exchanged concerned looks with Charity.

She didn't answer him simply just walked to the end of the row and slowly up to the pulpit. Chas held onto either end of it tightly and took a breath. "I..." she began slowly. "I-I've been stunned to silence for days..." her eyes were fixed onto nothing in particular, but definitely not the people listening. "And I uh...I find myself wondering why because everyone else so close to my son as I was could still speak...and I realised that it was because _I _am his mum" she caught her breath as tears trickled down her face. "H-He grew inside of me, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and he was _mine _and then nineteen years later he was just gone" she sobbed but managed to keep herself under some control. "Just like that, I'll never forget the day, the time I got that horrible call..." she looked up to the ceiling in an attempt to clear her eyes then looked back straight ahead. "When I saw my son in that hospital room it didn't feel real i-it still doesn't, I want him to come back but it's not going to happen. All through his life I felt I was doing what was best for him, he resented me for it and that hatred towards me that he felt took a long time to ease off at least. When he was angry, or his usual moody self I knew why and I hated myself because _I _caused that. And when he came out as gay I, I was happy for him, but a lot of stuff made sense, and then Jackson came along" she smiled. "And slowly but surely everything began to settle for a bit, I-I'm not going to talk about his accident but he was lost and I was there for him that time and I'll remember that I was, my heart aches every single second because I know he won't walk in the door with his smile, with those beautiful blue eyes sparkling at me. This world is cruel and I hope...I just hope that my boy has gone to a better place, he deserves that much, I love you son" Chas cried. "I always have and I'll never stop, I promise"

...

The sound of bagpipes echoed through the church and a slow melody came from them. Everyone stood as the pallbearers took their positions once again. Seconds later one female singer began;

_Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me_

_I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see..._

Now a number of other women joined in as they raised the coffin up onto their shoulders once again. Crying and sniffles could be heard under the music.

_T'Was grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace, my fears relieved_

Everyone felt within them the pain, and the sound of the music and the softness of the words caused this tragedy to truly hit home. Jackson cried, he felt the song fit. He nodded to himself. "I'll never ever forget you..." he repeated to Aaron once again. "I love you" he whispered as they began to lead the coffin outside.

_How precious did that grace appear_

_The hour I first believed _

Chas and Charity followed the coffin out first then everybody began to follow after them as the song picked up a notch with a single drum beat every few seconds and now with more voices singing.

_Through many dangers, toils and snares _

_We have already come._

_T'was grace that brought us safe thus far_

_And grace will lead us home_

_And grace will lead us home_

The triumphant closing to the song began; the instruments in the song built it up further and further and with another drum beat the words continued.

_Amazing grace. How sweet the sound_

_That saved a wretch like me_

_I once was lost but now I' am found_

_T'was blind but now I see_

_Was blind...But now...I See_

The bagpipes and the choir continued in harmony until it came to a stop, it finished when Jackson had hoped it would, by the time they left the church. Tears fell from his eyes and he nodded, it went the way he wanted it too.

...

Only close family and friends moved to the cemetery; the Dingles, Paddy, Jackson, Hazel and Adam. Ashley continued as the coffin began to lower into the ground "...We therefore commit Aaron's body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life" Ashley then stepped forward and opened up a box of soil and held it in front of Chas.

Chas just looked at him but he nodded reassuringly. She reached in and took out a handful of soil and knelt down. "I love you son" her voice was whispery due to the lump in her throat. And she threw in the soil and stood up again and flung herself into Zak's arms crying.

Jackson was next; he took the handful of soil. "Sleep tight my gorgeous man" he unclenched his fist and the soil dropped onto the coffin.

Paddy was next; he went through the same motions as Chas and Jackson. "You're with Clyde now mate look after each other and pop by every now and then yeah?" Paddy's tears fell and he broke down, his head in his hands. "I miss you so much" his shoulders jerked up and down. Marlon stepped forward but Paddy held out his hands, he didn't want comfort. Everyone's sadness worsened at seeing Paddy the way he was. None of them really knew what to do.

Paddy calmed down slightly and he picked up something from where he originally stood a plastic bag. "I-I hope you all don't mind and I know it might sound stupid but..." he pulled out the pair of tracksuit bottoms out of the bag and everyone mustered a chuckle. Chas just nodded. Jackson placed his arm around Paddy and rummaged into his pocket and pulled out a picture of him and Aaron. "Let's do it together"

Paddy smiled through tear filled eyes and then they both knelt down and dropped them into the ground, the clothes landing first and the photo landing on top of it. "Now I'm with you always" Jackson smiled.

"That was beautiful" Chas told them softly.

Jackson and Paddy stood properly and smiled at her and they all began to leave the grave except one – Cain.

Chas turned back to see him still there. Debbie shook her head. "No, leave him...I think he needs too" she told her and Chas listened.

As they left the cemetery Chas stopped as she saw Gordon waiting. The others carried on up to the pub. "I-I saw you sitting at the back"

Gordon nodded. "I know I have no right..."

"No..." Chas shook her head. "You do...it's just a shame you're too late..."

"I know and I'm hurting now...I realise..." he lowered his head.

Chas frowned, her face strained as she struggled to deal with how she felt and about him being there. She stepped forward and hugged him. "I'm sorry"

"What for?" he asked, surprised at the hug.

"Everything" she answered and pulled away but kept a hold of his hands. Chas let out a shaky breath and smiled as she looked at him. "Apart of me never stopped loving you because you gave me Aaron...h-he was ours, wasn't he?"

Gordon looked into her eyes and nodded. "He was" he told her as a tear fell.

Chas smiled. "Never forget it" she told him as she let go of his hands and reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Bye Gordon" she spoke softly and walked away slowly up to the pub to celebrate her son's life.

TBC...

Wow! That was long but it needed to be, hope you all enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, appreciated. I thought I'd put in the links for the songs that have been written into the chapter, in case any of you are interested in hearing them.

Amazing Grace -  watch?v=HsCp5LG_zNE

Whenever You Remember -  watch?v=bmKqc67m-ik


	32. The Beginning

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Beginning"

This fanfic follows **on immediately after** _Smile, Though Your Heart Is Breaking_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

The pub was full, everyone at the wake had passed on their condolences to Paddy, Jackson and Chas, they were all grateful. All three of them sat together at the same table with Hazel. Chas simply looked around to see all of the people who had actually turned up. She was amazed actually. Paddy was too, showed how many people Aaron had affected during his time in the village. Jackson however sat with his head lowered as he fiddled with the bracelet around his wrist. He'd stayed strong for Chas and everyone during the service but now, now he didn't have too.

Laughter filled the pub and Jackson heard a few people talking about the time Aaron tried to stop Rodney's van that day, he failed however but he had tried. Jackson cocked his eyebrow and looked up at everyone, then looked back at the bracelet.

"You alright love?" Chas asked.

Jackson didn't look up; he pouted and shook his head.

Chas gave a look to Hazel then put her arm around Jackson and rubbed his back gently.

Paddy got up to mingle leaving just the three of them, but Chas had other ideas, she motioned her head to Hazel and she got up as did Hazel. "Won't be long love" she told her son. Then she joined Chas at the bar. "I don't really wanna leave him Chas, what's this about?" she asked.

"Nothing, nothing I just think he should be alone for a bit"

"The pubs full Chas he isn't alone" Hazel surmised with a frown.

"No but he's not crowded at the table is he?" she told her. "It's just the start of it all Hazel..." Chas sighed. "If I have no idea how I'm gunna cope, god knows how he will" she turned and waited to be served.

Eli stood with Zak, Lisa and Sam. "He was a good lad, I-I remember when I went drinking with him in town not long before I left, we ended up having a bit of a to do, now knowing he came out it makes a bit sense...so that Jackson bloke, he's really his husband?"

Zak nodded. "Yeah, very happy they were too, some of the time anyway but they loved each other"

"It's not fair man" Eli told them.

"No it isn't" Lisa told him. "But what we have to do now is help those suffering; it's all we can do"

Zak and Eli both nodded.

Ryan and Adam stood together at the bar drinking. "W-What was he like before it happened?" Ryan asked.

Adam frowned. "I-I hadn't seen him for a few days but the last time I did, he was happy, smiling...I'll never forget it" Adam told him and looked down into his pint.

"I know you won't mate" Ryan really didn't know what to say. "I'll miss him"

Adam nodded as he raised his glass to his lips. "You and me both mate" he said before downing the rest of it.

"Whoa, slow down mate..."

Adam shook his head. "Nah" he wiped his mouth. "What's the point?"

...

Cain was sat by the hole in the ground where Aaron's coffin was, he just stared down at the golden plaque. He sighed. "Ahh mate" he shook his head. "You didn't have the best life did ya? And it was just starting to get better for you I could see it...and you were picking things up at the garage again...this is between me and you but that day when it clicked what I was showing you, I saw your face light up and I've never been so proud. I know sometimes I wasn't the best to be around but I did care about you every day, your my nephew...I'd like to think that I helped you sometimes" he nodded. "I hope I did, but I'll never know." He took a breath. "Jackson's been so good today but it's not difficult to see that he's a mess underneath it all...he's going to struggle... if I can ask you one thing...if there's some power out there it's for you to come back to let him know you're okay because I think he needs to know...it probably won't help a lot but it might make things seem better, I promise you he's around people that..." Cain smirked. "Love him and we're going to look after him, you needn't worry alright?" Cain looked sad and his eyes filled. "Why? Why you Aaron? I just keep hoping you'll turn in to work and that everything will be alright, I want that more than anything. There's a massive void in our family now and it'll never be filled by anyone, it was you..." Cain wiped his eyes. "I...I better go to the wake...make sure people are celebrating your life, and if they're not I'll give them a kick up the arse" he smirked. "But don't worry I'll be easy on Jackson, I mightn't even force him to do anything, he just needs time like everyone" Cain began to stand. "I love ya mate, sleep well"

...

Hours later into the evening the pub was still bustling with activity. A lot of people were drunk which was understandable, people had cried and laughed, now Adam had plugged his iPod into the sound system at the side of the bar and selected the playlist titled _Aaron _he'd made it a few days before the funeral. It was full of songs Aaron liked and songs they liked together and a mixture of other stuff. The first song to play was written in the stars by Tinie Tempah, it immediately stirred a reaction from Jackson, a small smile despite him being very unresponsive, Adam was pleased he wasn't booed from DJ duties; he smiled and listened to the song it just made him think of Aaron.

Adam left the music playing and walked over to Jackson noticing that he'd not moved from the table along the back wall of the pub, people just got his drinks for him. He sat next to him and looked at him concerned. "How you doing mate?" he asked.

Jackson kept his eyes on the bracelet around his wrist and shrugged. Adam sighed slightly and put his arm around him.

"He wouldn't want this mate" Adam told him gently.

Jackson nodded and finally looked at him. "I know but he isn't here to have a say is he?"

"No, but I' am, so is your mum and Chas"

"You know...me and Aaron sat right here the day we made love it was after that Wayne guy from community service came back to the garage to taunt him...I stepped in got rid of him...we talked for a while as the clan stood at the bar and kept turning to look" he smirked. "We left and went back to Paddy's...and we kissed properly I-I told" Jackson became teary.

"It's alright mate..." Adam soothed.

"...I told him we didn't have to do anything but we kissed and afterwards he said he didn't do anything he didn't want too" he sniffled. "That was the real start of us and I just want to go back to that day...seventeenth of June...sad that I remember right?"

Adam shook his head and looked at him his eyes soon matching Jackson's. "No, it's not"

"I loved him so, so much" Jackson sobbed.

"I know you did mate"

"I just want him back Adam it hurts so much, I don't know what I'm doing anymore" he wiped his eyes.

"Everything alright lads?" Paddy asked then rolled his eyes. "Sorry stupid question"

Jackson quickly calmed himself. "Sorry, I-I just need a minute" he told them and got up and left the pub. When he stepped outside the first thing he saw in the darkened night sky was the brightest star he'd ever seen in his life. It was out into the distance just up above the horizon. Jackson couldn't help but smile and he let out a chuckle but then more tears came and he sat on one of the table tops outside and planted his feet on the bench and held his head in his hands, he took that star as simple as he could, Aaron was looking down on them all. He lifted his head after what seemed like forever, he got down from the table and although saying he wouldn't be long he just walked to the house. He felt bad for leaving everyone but he couldn't take it anymore, he unlocked the door and walked inside the dark empty house, he closed the door behind him and locked it then switched on the lights, as soon as he did he swore he saw movement quickly move to the kitchen, then a voice that seemed to echo inside his head, aswell as in the house. _"Don't..._ _Don't because things like that just happen an-and we never know when it'll be over...we were lucky...I love you Jackson, I always will"_

Jackson jumped and hurried to the kitchen, there was nobody. He frowned; the words he heard were familiar, words Aaron spoke to him in the hospital after he'd woken up after his accident in the church. Aaron broke down that day, he remembered it so clearly. But what bothered him was the fact that if this was a memory echoing within him the words were different, words had been added that he didn't say on the day, Jackson was sure he wouldn't conjure it up himself especially as the words and the voice that echoed in the house were Aaron's.

TBC...


	33. Grief

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Grief"

This fanfic follows **on immediately after** _The Beginning_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Jackson rolled over on the couch and squinted then stretched.

"Hit the booze again eh?" Aaron shook his head. "You better get some tablets down your neck" he told him as he moved Jackson's legs out of the way and sat down.

Jackson frowned. "Aaron?"

Aaron turned his head to face him and smiled with a nod. "That's me name don't wear it out and all that...everything's alright now..." he rubbed one of Jackson's legs that were lying across him still.

"I-I-I don't understand" Jackson admitted as he sat up properly and looked at him, took in every single detail of his husband and the smell of him.

"You don't have too...I'm here aren't I?" he smiled again, his blue eyes sparkling back at Jackson. "So...are you working today?" Aaron asked.

Jackson scoffed. "Am I heck! Your back with me, I don't know how but I'm not going to work...I've got enough money"

"Yeah...for now...it'll run out babe, at some point"

Jackson nodded. "And I'll worry about that then" he smiled and leaned over and kissed his lips, they were soft and warm, he was real.

Their lips parted, Jackson really couldn't believe his eyes, and Aaron was there with him. "What you waiting for, go on get some tablets before that hangover of yours gets worse"

Jackson couldn't stop smiling and in that moment he'd literally do anything Aaron told him, so he did.

Moments later he came back and sat beside him again. Jackson looked in deep thought.

"What's on your mind?" Aaron asked.

"I-It was you last night wasn't it?"

Aaron nodded as he turned his head away with a smirk across his lips. "Yeah, it was"

"Why?"

"I just had to come back that's all, you're my husband, and there's nowhere else I'd rather be"

"But you died Aaron" Jackson leaned over and took his hand in his own.

"Doesn't stop me being here though does it?"

"Well y-yeah" Jackson frowned. "It kinda does but I dunno how it works do I?"

"And neither do I, but I'll go if you want" Aaron told him.

"No" Jackson gasped. "No, I need you"

Aaron nodded. "Alright then" he sat back and put his around Jackson. "Stick the telly on then"

Jackson chuckled and reached for the remote. "Alright then"

...

Chas opened up the pub the following day and stood outside and breathed in the fresh air, she had a banging headache from the alcohol intake but Aaron wouldn't have expected anything less. "Didn't think you'd be working today" Marlon commented as he walked up to her.

"Oh erm" she folded her arms. "Life goes on I suppose..."

Marlon smiled. "I can see right through you Chas..."

"Yeah alright then...I'm a mess but I've gotta keep going, that better?" she asked him with a sigh.

"Yes" he nodded. "Just take it easy, I'll get started in there"

Chas nodded and moved aside to let him inside the pub and she remained outside and looked down to Dale head then up to Smithy, she sighed to herself and sat on one of the tables. The village was silent, no one was around but she looked up when she heard a voice down the village. It was Jackson, she frowned, he wasn't on the phone and no one was with him yet he was speaking, as if having a conversation. She got up off the table and rushed down to him. "Jackson! Jackson love?" she called as she made her way to him.

Jackson stopped and turned and waited for her.

"How're you doing love? You left last night but I didn't wanna come and hound you, are you okay?"

Jackson looked from his left then right; he could still see Aaron. He looked back at Chas. "Um yeah it was just too much you know"

Chas frowned. "You look nervous are you okay?"

Jackson nodded; he then realised she couldn't see her son.

"_Concerned as always...what she like?" _

"Yeah I just needed some air, going for a walk..."

"Oh right" Chas smiled. "Erm...who were you talking too before I was outside the pub just then..."

"Me" he chuckled, and looked away, he wasn't a very good liar. "Talking to myself...do that sometimes"

Chas nodded with pouted lips. "Listen Jackson, Aaron might be gone but that doesn't mean all ties are cut you know...I'm still here for you whenever you need alright"

Jackson smiled slightly with a nod. "Thanks...s-sorry Chas...I'm gunna head off...clear my head"

"Alright love" Chas stepped back. "I'll see you later"

Jackson nodded before he turned and walked away.

...

"Yeah you didn't really handle it all that well did ya babe?" Aaron smirked at Jackson as they made their way out of the village.

Jackson just simply frowned at him. "Well you didn't tell me I was the only one who could see you"

"But I' am dead Jackson"

Jackson sighed. "This is so confusing"

"Alright I' am dead Jackson but I'm back here with you, I don't know how but I' am...I died suddenly maybe I had to come back..." he shrugged. "And you are the only one who can hear me or see me so be more careful unless you wanna get sectioned"

Jackson chuckled. "Just like that...okay I can deal with that"

"Right then, are we having this walk or not?" Aaron asked impatiently.

Jackson nodded. "Yes stop mithering me" he said as he carried on but Aaron stopped.

"You love it" Aaron told him.

Jackson stopped and turned back. "Yeah, and I love you more than you'll ever know" he told him.

Aaron shook his head. "Nah I do know Jackson, trust me" he said as he looked into his eyes.

Jackson smiled and they both continued walking together, hand in hand.

...

Late into the night Aaron walked down the stairs of Dale Head and saw Jackson sat on the floor, he frowned with a smirk. _What is he doing? _He thought. He walked up behind him and sat down behind him with his legs spread out around Jackson's. He simply wrapped his arms around Jackson's firm toned body and rested his chin on his shoulder.

Unaware to Aaron tears fell from Jackson's eyes as he closed them cherishing the closeness with his husband, he knew how bizarre it was but he felt real, he could speak and Jackson could feel him, he had a heart beat it was all real except from him being the only one to hear or see him.

"I-I didn't see the car..." Aaron spoke softly.

Jackson opened his eyes and swallowed hard and spoke in a whispered tone. "You what?"

"The accident...I didn't see the car, I just heard the sound of the car crunching as it was hit then glass smashing...after that" he shook his head slightly as he too now had tears. "Well..." he cleared his throat. "I was taken away...I didn't want too Jackson, if I could have stopped that accident I would have, I told you I never wanted to be apart from you and I hate myself because I was...and I know...I know this won't last forever, so I need to tell you that you made my life, you were the reason I got up on a morning..." Aaron sobbed, shaking as he did. "And that I was proud to be your husband, I love you so much, so much...I'm sorry...I didn't want to get upset but I have to say these things so that you know..."

"It's alright babe..."

"No Jackson, you have to know because there will be a day when I have to go...you have to prepare for that...but I promise you...when I do...we'll be able to have that goodbye you wanted..."

Aaron eventually realised Jackson was upset when his body jerked as his cries became audible. "I don't want to say goodbye" Jackson told him between sobs.

Aaron nodded and wiped his tears away. "I know...but until then let's just enjoy our time..."

Jackson nodded as he calmed himself down.

"God I love you so much" Aaron breathed as he buried his head into Jackson's neck and kissed it softly.

TBC...


	34. Lost

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Lost"

This fanfic follows **on the next morning after** _Grief_

_Characters belong to ITV_

...

Jackson's eyes slowly opened and he turned over onto his side and jumped up when he didn't see Aaron. He frowned and got out of bed quickly. "Aaron!" he ran out onto the landing and made it downstairs seconds later. "Aaron!" there was no sign of him. Jackson's shoulders slumped and he sat on the stairs and put his head in his hands and sobbed; he said he'd let him say goodbye.

Once Jackson had composed himself he pulled a bottle of vodka out of the kitchen cupboard and slammed it down on the coffee table and unscrewed the cap and took a long swig.

...

Hazel walked into the pub with a smile and walked over to the bar. Chas looked up and smiled slightly. "Hiya" she greeted.

"How you doing?" Hazel asked.

"So so..."Chas nodded. "Drink?"

"Oh erm" Hazel shook her head. "No thanks, I just came to ask you not to serve Jackson if he comes in...I've seen David and he's fine with it...he said he's bought quite a bit of vodka lately and I don't want him to..." she sighed.

"Don't worry, if he does he'll be told..." Chas smiled. "Although...I can't blame him...I sit at night and wallow..." she admitted and looked away for a second.

"Yeah but you're still working Chas, you're trying to move on like Aaron would have wanted you're not keeping yourself cooped up while you drink yourself to death" she sighed.

"No, you're right" Chas nodded. "He just needs time Hazel"

"And I'll give him it but I don't want him drinking"

"I'll let you know if he comes in" Chas told her.

"Thanks Chas, I-I better go...see if he'll answer the bloody door this time"

Chas frowned. "That bad?"

"Oh yeah..."

"Listen if you need help with anything...Aaron loved Jackson, and if Jackson or you need help then I'll be there to sort him out with you..."

Hazel smiled and nodded before she left the pub.

Chas held her arms out straight and rested her hands on the bar, she lowered her head and sighed, but unbeknownst to her, her only son, stood behind her leaning against the wall by the till with his arms folded across his chest and the warmest smile on his face._ "You'll be alright mum, you're the strongest person I know...I love you, you know deep down I do...you were the best but you've gotta look after Jackson now, be the best for him" _he knew she couldn't hear but maybe on some level she would get his message, and with that he faded.

...

Several hours later a very drunk Jackson stumbled into the pub. He regained his balance and walked to the bar. "Double vodka please Chas" he slurred.

Alicia looked at Chas and Chas walked over. "I'll deal with this" Alicia moved out of the way and Chas stood looking at him with a stern look on her face. "No chance"

Jackson frowned. "Don't want my money then?" he spat.

Chas shook her head. "Not if it's spent on alcohol, orange juice? Coke? Lemonade?" she asked as she grabbed a glass from underneath the bar and placed it down waiting for his answer.

Jackson saw red and swiped the glass from the bar.

"Hey!" Chas yelled and the glass smashed against the wall in the corner of the pub. Jackson breathed heavily, shaking.

"You are lucky no one was sitting there" she leaned over the bar pointing at him staring right into his eyes, eyes that were full of pain, she could see that clearly.

"Get lost!" he slurred before turning and walking to the doors.

Chas was shaking by the time he left the bar. "You alright?" Alicia asked.

"Yeah" she nodded. "Yeah, give Hazel a call will ya please? Numbers on the side, tell her he's been in and what happened"

Alicia nodded. "Course" she went into back and called Hazel.

...

Jackson was sat in the corner at a table in Bar West drinking a pint, but a few empty shot glasses were beside it, he'd hit the drink hard.

A couple were sat at the same table he and Aaron were the night of Aaron's accident; they looked very much in love, just like they were, Jackson had kept glancing over every now and then and each time his heart ached more and his eyes stung with tears brewing, he let them flow, he was alone, at the quieter end of the bar and he really didn't care either.

However someone was watching him, a man who was stood at the bar with his drink in his hand, he looked in his late twenties wearing a grey polo shirt showing off his toned, built physique, he watched intently at the man sat by himself seeming to be very upset and extremely drunk by the look of him. He was instantly attracted to him and he wanted to go up and talk to him, maybe after another drink he thought to build up his courage.

Jackson glanced over to the couple again as they were passionately kissing, and huge smiles on their faces, love in their eyes. Rage filled Jackson; he couldn't take it anymore and he shot up away from the table and barged his way through the busy bar.

The guy, who had been watching him, still was, and he frowned. Jackson bumped into someone in his drunken attempts at walking and he was pushed away angrily by the man he bumped into. "Watch where you're going!" he shouted at Jackson.

Jackson pulled a face and carried on out of bar west, unaware to him that his bracelet had caught on the back of a chair and had fallen off.

The stranger walked over to the spot where the bracelet landed, he'd saw it fall off and he leaned down and picked it up and read the engraving. _Bad Break Up _he thought to himself, he turned to the door as Jackson disappeared he sighed and clenched the bracelet in his hand, hoping he'd see him again so he could return it.

...

Jackson stopped on the path outside of Dale Head when he saw his mum and Chas sitting on the doorstep. "Oh here we go"

Both women stood. "Been trying to call you" Hazel told him.

"Yeah well I'm not feeling chatty lately...turned my phone off"

"Oh and that's alright is it!" Hazel marched down to him. "You could have been lying dead in a ditch for all I knew!" she raised her voice. "And you stink of booze – again"

"Rather be dead anyway, then I'd be with him wouldn't I?"

Chas heart melted at his words. Hazel's did too but she had to be forceful. "I don't want to hear you talk like that again, do you hear me?!"

Jackson shrugged. "What do you want me to say hmm? Oh evening mum I'm doing just great, my husband dead but yeah life goes on and all that..." he leaned in close. "Well tough it isn't going to happen, life doesn't go on" his voice cracked. "Not for me" he had to catch his breath as tears fell from his eyes, his tone going a little higher. "My life ended when Aaron's did! An-And you all expect me to just carry on!"

Chas stepped closer to them. "No, love...we know alright we do...but the drinking...it has to stop"

Jackson looked at her, sniffling as he did. "I want it all to stop Chas; I wanna fall asleep and not wake up"

"I know" Chas took hold of his hands and nodded, tears in her eyes now too. "I know because I feel the same, I want that to happen too...but it won't Jackson, he was my son and I loved him with all my heart, even if he didn't know it at times...but I did...and I know for a fact he wouldn't want you destroying yourself because it's not fair on him or his memory"

Jackson's defences sparked up again. "And it isn't fair on me!" he told her harshly as he shoved past them both and unlocked the front door, both Hazel and Chas ran up after him but the door slammed and they heard it lock. Both women looked at each other and sighed and they slowly walked away from the house. "Hazel I'm starting to think maybe you should call his dad..." Chas suggested.

Hazel shook her head. "No chance, but the person I' am thinking of is Cain...maybe he could help?"

Chas pouted as she thought. "Yeah he might, I'll have a word...see what he says"

"Thankyou"

Chas smiled. "Fancy a lock in?"

Hazel chuckled. "And we've just bombarded him about drinking"

"Yeah but this is different isn't it...we need it, he's doing it thinking it'll help him grieve when it won't, the sooner he realises that the better"

Hazel nodded. "Yeah alright, come on then" she replied and they made their way up to the pub.

...

Inside Jackson was mortified, he was holding his wrist as he darted around the house. "Where is it?" he spoke loud and angrily. "Where is it!" his tone becoming angrier by the second. He had no luck and he slid down the wall on the landing and cried.

"You'll find it" Aaron spoke, to which Jackson quickly opened his eyes. Aaron was kneeling down in front of him.

Jackson gasped. "I thought you'd gone" he cried.

"No..." Aaron replied quietly as he shook his head. "Just been looking in on people" he smiled. "I'm sorry..."

"No..." Jackson wiped his eyes. "It's ok...just don't leave me again without telling me..."

Aaron nodded. "I have a bone to pick with you" his tone stern and his expressions matched.

Jackson sighed. "Karma..."

"Yeah, I remember the whole leg thing...anyway; I know you like a drink but you've gotta pack it in"

"I don't want too"

"You know yourself it doesn't help"

Jackson shrugged. "Fine, it's your life but don't expect me to talk to you if you die from alcohol abuse..." his words were harsh but he had to try something.

"You don't mean that?" Jackson glared at him.

"Hopefully I won't have to follow through with that statement if you stop going at it like you are at the minute"

"Right, right...okay I'll layoff..."

Aaron smiled. "Good, now tell me why you couldn't agree to that when you're mum told you"

Jackson shrugged. "Because she isn't you"

"But she cares just as much"

Jackson nodded. "I know..."

Aaron reached out and held his hands. "A very attractive guy has it..."

"Has what?" Jackson frowned.

"The bracelet I got you...you'll get it back" Aaron said with a smirk.

"What's amusing?" Jackson asked sharply.

"Nothing, I just...I just want you to be happy..."

Jackson scoffed. "Happy? You were the only person in the world who made me happy"

"And someone else can too you know"

"If you're suggesting what I think you are you can forget it..."

Aaron pouted his lips and swayed his head from side to side, a cheeky glint in his eyes. "I' am yeah and what you gunna do?"

"Nothing, I can't even think of moving on never mind talking to a guy...just leave it Aaron please...if this guy, whoever he is does return the bracelet, I'll be kind, say thank you and offer him a drink, that's all"

"Okay..." Aaron nodded. He left it there, but when the time came when he did have to leave he had certain things to say to Jackson, his husband, the love of his life and he'd make sure he'd listen when it came to it.


	35. My Gift To You

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"My Gift To You"

This fanfic follows **on the next morning after** _Lost_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_This chapter is a bit out there and has a very "Ghost" feel to it...not intentionally...just kind of happened anyway I hope you all like it! _

...

Jackson sat laughing with Aaron as they watched the TV together; the door was knocked minutes later Jackson sighed. "I'm ignoring it"

"Yeah well after the way she was with me last night she can forget it" he told him.

"She's only worried"

Jackson turned and frowned at him. "I haven't had a drink have I?"

Aaron shook his head. "No, but one night" he gave him a look.

"Yeah I know but I' am gunna cut down" he told him as the door knocked again.

Hazel stepped back and looked through the window; she could see the TV was on so she knew he was in. She stepped up to the door again. "Oh come on love...I'm sorry about last night...please?" she asked.

Jackson sighed and sat shaking his head.

"You're as stubborn as they come when you want to be Mr. Livesy" Aaron told him with a smirk.

Jackson looked into Aaron's ocean blue eyes and smirked. "Right as-...well I was gunna say as usual but you aren't always right are ya? Bless!"

Aaron scowled and playfully whacked his chest.

Hazel sighed. "Right...okay...I-I'll leave you too it, you know where I' am if you need me" Hazel told him through the door and stepped away to walk around the back door.

...

Hazel let out a breath of relief when her key turned in the door but to be honest she didn't like doing what she was, and this was the second time – it wasn't her home it was Jackson's but her worry for him was becoming worse.

She opened the door slowly and immediately heard Jackson talking and laughing. It sounded like a conversation but the other voice and person was nowhere to be seen as she stood in the doorway. The sofa Jackson was sat on was facing away from her so he couldn't see. Hazel's frown deepened when she watched what looked like Jackson leaning over and kissing something. Tears instantly filled her eyes and she made a silent getaway, once outside she closed the door and leaned against the wall sobbing. She needed help, something was really wrong.

...

Jackson got up and stretched. "Erm, and where are you going?" Aaron asked.

"To find my bracelet"

Aaron smirked. "Good, I'm pleased"

Jackson scoffed and shook his head. "And to _just _get it back Aaron"

"Yeah, yeah alright"

"So what you gunna do while I'm out?"

Aaron scrunched up his face. "I can't do anything. I'm dead Jackson"

Jackson sighed and nodded. "Sorry"

"No, don't be...you just need to remember that, that's all"

Jackson nodded. "And I'll see you later?"

Aaron nodded. "Definitely" he smiled and turned to walk to the door.

As Jackson opened the door Cain was walking up the path. "Oh no you don't, get back in there you!" Cain warned as he marched up and pushed him gently back inside.

Aaron smirked. "Time to go" he mumbled to himself and vanished.

"I'm off out Cain what is this about?" Jackson said with a sigh, not happy about this intrusion.

"It's about you, now sit down and listen to everything I have to say!" he told him forcefully and Jackson sat down.

...

"He was what?" Chas asked, her expression worried, just as Hazel's was.

"I know...I-I-I didn't know what to do so I just left"

Chas sighed. "Alright...there's something I should have told you a while ago but I didn't think anything of it at the time..."

"Go on then" Hazel told her impatiently.

"The morning after the funeral I saw Jackson out walking and the village was quiet so I could hear him talking, he wasn't on the phone and he was alone aswell, when i asked him he said he was talking to himself...D-do you think he's seeing Aaron?"

Hazel nodded. "There's no one else he'd be kissing now is there?"

"What do we do?" Chas asked.

Hazel shrugged. "No idea but I'm scared for him Chas maybe we could try having a word?"

"Alright, but we'll do a better job than last night, we won't pounce this time"

Hazel nodded in agreement.

...

"Right, first of all..." Cain rested against the window sill with his arms folded. "Yesterday at the pub, think that was funny do ya?"

Jackson shook his head. "No" he swallowed hard; feeling as though he'd been called to the headmaster's office.

"What if there were people sat where the glass smashed?"

Jackson shrugged. "I dunno, but there wasn't"

"No and that's because you were lucky! And another thing mate do you really think my sister needs behaviour like that right now? From you especially?"

Jackson shook his head. "No"

"Good answer!" Cain was forceful with him. "You need to think long and hard and when you realise that you aren't the only one affected by Aaron's death and you start helping others, the world around you might start to seem a little brighter, I'm sorry but it's not just about you"

"I know that!" Jackson said through gritted teeth then lifted his head and glared at him. "But I can't help them!"

"Why not?"

"Because I can't..." he shrugged. "I'm trying to deal with it my way"

"Oh yeah? I saw your recycling box mate"

Jackson sighed. "Is there a law to say I can't drink?"

"No...And you can drink but not as much as you are"

"As much as I was" Jackson corrected.

"And I'm meant to believe you am I?" Cain frowned.

"No, no you don't have too but it's the truth"

Cain nodded and looked around the room. "Impressive...forty odd messages on your answering machine...clients I expect"

"Maybe..." Jackson looked up briefly.

"Get back into work Jackson it'll help" Cain said more softly this time.

"Really?"

"Yeah, not quickly because I know Jackson, I go to work every day, I do what I have too but he's always in my mind, I know I'm not easy to get on with or quick to admit that I care, but I do, about you, about my family and I did about Aaron and he wouldn't want you to lose business and to keep yourself cooped up in here"

Jackson nodded. "I'll get some calls made later, explain the situation" he sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Hopefully they'll understand"

Cain nodded. "They will"

"And tomorrow...I'll get out there"

Cain smiled slightly. "You mean it?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, but it doesn't mean I'm moving on..."

"I didn't say it had too Jackson" his smile widened and he moved and sat beside him on the sofa. "I know Aaron didn't have the Dingle name and you took Livesy but you are apart of this family now..." Cain nudged him playfully with a smirk. "Can't get out of it"

Jackson smiled. "I don't want too"

Cain nodded. "Have you apologised to Chas?"

"No...But I will" he nodded, definitely intending too.

"Good, I better get back to work but see you around later maybe?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah"

"Good" Cain stood up. "Now you can go out" he smirked.

Jackson stood up too with a smirk and followed him to the door, once there he looked into the house and smiled before closing the door and heading up to the bus stop.

...

Jackson apprehensively walked into bar west; was there a guy with his bracelet? "You better be right Livesy" he mumbled to himself as he stood at the bar, when the barman walked over Jackson ordered a pint, he got it moments later and walked to a table and sat down.

The guy walked in and instantly saw him. He couldn't help but smile, he walked to the bar while looking over to Jackson. "Pint please mate" he asked, he paid for it and took a breath before walking over to the unknown guy he'd taken a shine too. He was nervous, his heart was pounding and he quickly held out his hand in Jackson's view.

Jackson looked up at the man, unaware to him he blushed, but he was aware of his heart quickening. His eyes then looked to the platinum bracelet shining in the light. He smiled and tears instantly fell from his eyes. "Wow..." he said breathlessly. "I-I don't know what to say"

"Thanks maybe" he told Jackson with a smile.

Jackson wiped his eyes. "Sorry...yeah, yeah course, thank you...it means a lot this..." he took it from the mysterious guys hand and placed it back on his wrist where it belonged.

"Sit down if you like? Not many people would have returned that, I'll get you another when you're done with that" he looked at the pint. "A way of saying thanks"

He sat down on the chair opposite. "Matt Griffin" he introduced himself and held out his hand.

Jackson shook it as he curled up his lips. "Nice name" he smiled.

"And your surname?" Matt asked with a smile.

Jackson frowned.

"Oh I erm...I saw the engraving...Jackson" he smiled.

"Oh right...Livesy" he answered.

Matt nodded. "Nice too" he complimented.

"Thanks" he smiled.

"I-I don't wanna be nosey so just tell me if I' am being but there's a story behind that bracelet isn't there?"

Jackson took a swig as he nodded; he swallowed it and wiped his mouth. "There's a story behind everything right?"

Matt looked away for a second. "Tell me about it" he looked back up and smiled.

"I-it was meant to be a present...but the day I was meant to get it my husband died in a car accident, I found it in his belongings from the hospital"

Matt sighed and shook his head. "Oh man I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean t-"

"I know" Jackson nodded. "You weren't too know but I had a choice whether to tell you and I did so, don't worry about it"

Matt felt bad but Jackson's words helped. "How long?"

Jackson took in a breath and answered. "Two...nearly three weeks, his name was Aaron" he smiled fondly.

"I'm sorry Jackson you don't have to talk about it if you don't want too..."

"Nah...I'll stop there don't wanna be crying over you now do I?" he chuckled.

Matt laughed aswell and took a drink.

As the evening went on, both men decided to call it a night, Jackson once again thanked him for his bracelet being returned but as he was about to leave Matt stopped him. "I erm..." he sighed and held out a card with his number on it. "I don't normally do this – I'm not the type but if you need a mate or...someone to talk too...call me anytime, I enjoyed tonight" he smiled.

Jackson took it. "Thanks, me too" he told him before leaving the bar.

...

Jackson arrived home a while later and grinned when he saw Aaron sat in the living room. "See? Not so bad was it?" Aaron grinned.

Jackson just frowned.

"Oh but come on you have to admit, did you see his jaw line and the muscles..." Aaron sighed and rested back into the sofa.

"He's just a guy who returned the bracelet Aaron, stop perving anyway!"

Aaron laughed. "But you took his number right?"

"M-M-maybe" he said quietly as he hung up his jacket.

"Progress at least" Aaron was satisfied, but Jackson didn't see it that way and he spun around and began to shout.

"Why? Why do you want me to move on so fast!" he yelled.

"Jackson calm down...I-I just want to make sure you can be happy again"

"I'll never be happy again because I don't have you..."

Outside halfway up the street Chas and Hazel walked down arm in arm, ready, they'd been waiting for the lights to turn on for hours before they attempted to go down to talk to him. "Nervous?" Chas asked as she rubbed Hazel's arm.

Hazel nodded. "Scared more like"

"Don't be" Chas smiled as they neared the house, they both looked at each other when they heard Jackson shouting, they frowned and began running the rest of the way.

"I know you're gone! And I know that when I touch you it's real, your smell and your warmth but you can't be seriously considering that I call him!" he yelled again.

Chas and Hazel listened from outside, several seconds later Jackson shouted again.

"I won't and I don't want anyone else, not in a week, two months or ten years I'd rather be dead and with you than live a life without the only one I'll only ever truly love!"

The front door burst open. Jackson jumped and spun round to see Chas and Hazel in the doorway. He swallowed hard and he turned back to see Aaron had gone. He closed his eyes and sighed and sat on the sofa, shaking his head.

Chas closed the door while Hazel walked into the room just watching her son with his head in his hands. Chas made a point in locking it in case Jackson decided to try and run. But this had to be sorted now. She joined Hazel in front of the window and watched in silence. She nodded to Hazel telling her to say something.

Hazel nodded; she rested her hand over her throat nervously. "J-Jackson love? We heard you outside...who were you talking too?" she asked.

Jackson sighed and looked up, his eyes flooded with tears. He sobbed uncontrollably. "Aaron" he mustered.

Both Chas and Hazel looked at each other now having confirmation of their thoughts earlier that day.

"Do you see him all the time?" Hazel asked.

"No, he comes and goes...I'm not mental though mum"

"No, no" she shook her head. "I'm not saying you are, but maybe you're hallucinating you know? With all the alcohol you've had lately"

Jackson shook his head. "It's not, it's real...he says he came back to help me be happy again...and that I'd get the goodbye I wanted when he has to go"

"Has to go?" Chas asked.

Jackson shrugged. "Heaven?" he asked.

Chas now had tears in her eyes. "You need help love"

"No I don't, I' am not going crazy Chas, I'm sane...but for some reason Aaron wanted to come back and he did, he comes and goes like I said"

"A-And the other day when I heard you talking and I asked you?" Chas asked.

"I lied" he nodded. "He was stood beside me...h-he made a comment on how concerned you are" Jackson smiled.

"Don't Jackson" she shook her head.

"I'm just being honest"

"Why can't we see or hear him then?" she wondered.

Jackson shrugged, he genuinely didn't know and he told her so. "But I do know he was checking in on people the other day...he was in the pub with you, h-" Jackson cried. "He said he misses you"

Chas put her head in her hands but anger took over and she walked over and slapped him hard. "Stop it! He didn't! My son is dead Jackson and I don't need to hear this!"

Jackson put his hand against his cheek trying to ease the stinging. "But it happened!" he cried more.

Chas shook her head. "I'm sorry Hazel but I can't deal with this, he needs sorting and fast!" she told her and unlocked the door and stormed out.

On her way up to the pub she bumped into Paddy who was making his way down the village. "What's the matter Chas?"

Chas sighed while she shook her head. "Jackson, he...never mind...someone just needs to give him a shake or something...I-I'll see you later" her tone tired and she continued on her way.

Paddy frowned and headed to Dale Head, he walked in moments later, the atmosphere could have been cut with a knife. He cleared his throat and Hazel turned. "Can I have a minute with Jackson Hazel...I'll see he's alright"

Hazel nodded and walked to the door and without a word, she left. Paddy closed the door and walked to the sofa and sat down. "It takes a lot to get Chas in a state that I've just seen her in..."

Jackson sighed. "I didn't mean too but she thinks I'm making it up"

"Making what up?" Paddy wondered.

Jackson scoffed. "You wouldn't believe me"

"Try me"

Jackson took a breath and explained everything. Silence fell upon them afterwards. "Say something then"

Paddy frowned, making a connection with something he experienced a few days ago. "I-I believe you"

"You what?" Jackson was completely surprised.

Paddy smiled and without trying to freak him out; Jackson in the corner of his eye saw Aaron enter the room and make his way to the single chair and he sat on the arm of it just listening.

"Yeah" Paddy nodded. "The other day I...I erm...was in his old room tidying around a bit and I swore for a split second I could smell his aftershave...like just passing in the air you know?"

Jackson nodded. "I'm not crazy Paddy"

"I know you're not...and then I heard faint talking...I couldn't make it out...but it had to have been Aaron...a lot of people have died around here and I've never had that before...I know for a fact it was him"

"Can I tell you something? And promise not to freak out..."

Paddy nodded.

"He's here with us; he's sat on the arm of that chair just listening..." Jackson smirked. "And pulling faces at me"

Paddy just broke down crying and put his head in his hands.

"Tell him..." Aaron spoke, his voice croaky with his emotion. "I'm glad it was him who was there"

"He said he was glad it was you who was there"

Paddy calmed himself a bit and nodded. "Me too" he sobbed.

"I love you and I always will" Aaron carried on.

"He loves you and he always will" Jackson found that hard to relay but he managed.

"I love you too" he chuckled. "If anyone saw us now they'd think we're mental"

"Well they already think I' am" Jackson told him.

"C-Can I see him Just for a second?"

Jackson turned in the direction of Aaron.

Aaron sighed. "Alright..." he moved and sat on the coffee table in front of them.

Several seconds later Paddy began to see the view of the living room in front of him distort slightly and a faded transparent image of Aaron sat in front of Paddy smiling. A smile Paddy would never forget. He caught his breath. "Aaron..." he gasped.

Aaron nodded. "You're the best Paddy and I'll always be with you" he smiled.

Paddy nodded through tear filled eyes. "I know" he replied. "You were a son to me you know that don't you?"

Aaron chuckled. "I know and I knew it every day I was alive, I'm grateful to you Paddy, do me a favour?"

"Anything" Paddy replied as he wiped his eyes.

Aaron flicked his head in Jackson's direction. "Look after him will ya?"

Paddy nodded there was no doubt about that. "Of course I will"

Tears fell from Aaron's eyes.

"Are you scared Aaron?" Paddy asked.

Aaron shook his head with a small smile. "No...It's not the way I wanted things...but I was meant to die" he shrugged. "It's just the way now...I can't change it...all I can do is be around now even when I leave I'll be looking over you all"

Paddy nodded. "We miss you so much"

"I know you do and I miss you all aswell..."

Paddy nodded.

"I have to go Paddy" Aaron explained. "Take care of yourself"

Tears ran down his cheeks. "You too mate, you too"

Aaron smiled and faded away leaving Paddy with that final image.

TBC...


	36. The Final Goodbye

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Final Goodbye"

This fanfic follows **on several hours later after** _My Gift To You_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_This chapter I felt needed to be a stand alone, however short or long it turns out to be :) x_

...

Jackson and Aaron sat alone, Paddy hadn't been gone long. "Jackson..." Aaron said quietly with a different look in his eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Let's go for a walk"

"At this time of night?" he frowned.

"Please?" Aaron asked with urgency in his tone.

Then all of a sudden it clicked. "No..." his tone whispery as he shook his head.

Aaron nodded. "I have too and I'm keeping up my end of the bargain, we can have our proper goodbye"

Jackson simply cried and Aaron placed his arm around him to soothe him. "You won't get over my death if I'm around you gorgeous...I'm doing this for you, please Jackson just walk with me? One last time"

"I can't let go" he sobbed against Aaron's chest.

"You never will, I promise...I just have to go away now"

Jackson sighed, wiped his eyes and stood up.

...

The cold night air was refreshing as they stopped walking by the entrance to a field under the light of the full moon. Aaron smiled.

"What you smiling at?"

"Just remembering you slapping my backside at the garage when no one was around"

Jackson smirked. "And if I remember rightly you loved it"

Aaron nodded. "Always...I-I often think about how my life would have been had I not met you and all I keep thinking is that I would have met you anyway at some time or another" he smiled. "Because we were meant to be together"

Jackson smiled, fighting back the tears. "I like to think we were too"

"A-And I know it wasn't perfect, a fairytale...but when it was good, it really was, you were and I was..."

Jackson tightened his grip on Aaron's hand. "You are so special to me"

Aaron turned and smiled. "And you are too, I want you to have the best life Jackson, because you deserve it" he smiled through his tears which glistened under the moonlight.

"And I want too..."

"What's stopping you?"

"The thought of feeling like I'm betraying you"

Aaron quickly shook his head. "You won't be, not a chance...if you do find someone they'll realise how special you are too, I want you to be happy Jackson and that will mean you falling in love with someone else"

Jackson shook his head.

"Hey...no, don't do that, you will and I know you'll always love me so it's fine" Aaron reassured him. "It is Jackson" he nodded.

"Maybe one day..."

Aaron nodded with a smile. "I love you"

Jackson's shoulders jerked up and down as he cried. "Don't go"

"It's time Jackson...you have to be able to grieve properly and like I said me being around won't help you do that, but no drinking excessively"

"No drinking" Jackson said with a nod.

"We had a good run didn't we? Wasn't so bad really..."

Jackson shook his head slowly as he looked into his husband's eyes. "I-I'm scared I'll forget the little things, things we've said to each other, how we were, and it kills me Aaron, it hurts so much"

Aaron himself was struggling but he had to keep his composure for Jackson's sake. He stepped closer to Jackson and pulled him in close by placing his hand on his back and his lips locked against Jackson's. When they parted, Jackson knew it was time, he couldn't stop it...he had to say goodbye.

Aaron stood with his arms around Jackson's waist. "Do you remember the poem Adam read at my funeral?"

Jackson nodded.

"I don't know the words exactly but...all you have to do is look for me in everything you see and I'll be there...I'll be there on the good days and the bad, I'll be with you all the time, beside you" Aaron smiled through teary eyes.

Jackson nodded. "You better"

"Count on it" Aaron smirked. "You helped me so much Jackson...It was like I was born again, now..." he took a breath. "Now I'm helping you, I want you to be happy, whoever he is...I approve" Aaron smiled at him and stared into his eyes. Jackson was numb, he didn't want this but he understood Aaron's reasons. "You changed my life"

Jackson lowered his head and let his tears fall. "From the first time I saw ya, I knew you were the one, I love you so, so much!"

Aaron smiled warmly. "I-I'm trying to keep it together but I can't..." Aaron now sobbed. "I-I'll be waiting for you gorgeous...I'll see you again one day...I will always love you..."

Jackson nodded. "I know you will"

Aaron leaned in and kissed him one final time, and he stepped away and picked up a stick off the ground. "Call him babe, you won't know unless you do..." he nodded as a faint bark could be heard.

Jackson frowned. "What's that?"

Aaron smiled widely. "It's Clyde"

Jackson couldn't believe it and he smiled. "Good...look after each other"

Aaron nodded. "We will" he told him as he walked backwards away from Jackson. He gave him a wink and his charming smile before turning away from him. "Come on Clyde" Jackson watched Aaron raise his arm and throw the stick as more faint barks could be heard, every step Aaron took he faded more and more. "Oh..." his words now became an echo "It's not a test Jackson just say yes...I love you..." and with that he was gone.

Jackson fell to his knees and stared at the spot he last saw Aaron. He was gone; the love of his life was gone. He was in shock. Jackson had to grieve now and find the strength to move on in some way.


	37. Easing Back Into It

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Easing Back Into It"

This fanfic follows **on the next morning after** _The Final Goodbye_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Paddy walked down the village, and cocked his eyebrow as he saw Jackson tidying up his van; he curled his lips curious as he approached. "Good Morning"

Jackson turned slightly. "Is it?" he asked.

"Depends on how you look at it...so...work then?" he asked.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah gotta keep going I suppose, just thought I'd tidy all this junk a bit before I head off"

Paddy nodded. "So...last night..."

Jackson stopped and looked at Paddy. "He's gone"

"Oh?"

Jackson cleared his throat, nodding. "Y-Yeah he had too...it was a moment between me and him that I don't wanna share if that's alright"

"Oh, of course not sorry mate"

"Nah" he smiled slightly. "Don't be" he took a breath and his eyes narrowed as he thought. "Listen my mum and Chas think it was the alcohol and I'm just going to say that it was...just our secret?" he asked, hopeful that Paddy would agree.

Paddy smiled. "Our secret mate, I've gotta go see Cain about my car so I'll leave you too it" he began to head off but he stopped after a few metres. "Oh and Jackson..."

Jackson walked past the open van door and looked at Paddy a few metres away.

"It can only get better, just keep going" he told him supportively.

Jackson nodded and smiled slightly, he just wish he felt the same. The previous night he got his wish; to say goodbye and the words Aaron had spoken to him had been listened too. Now it was up to Jackson to start living again and he was making the first step by going to work. He closed the van doors and walked around the driver's side and got in, moments later he left the village.

...

Late into the afternoon Jackson pulled up outside the house, got out the van and ran into the house and took a quick shower before heading out again. Once he was ready he left the house and unlocked the van and reached in and pulled out a wrapped gift and the biggest bouquet of colourful and varied flowers he could have bought, he took a deep breath and headed up to the pub.

The pub was quiet when he walked in just a few regulars who turned to look at him. Chas looked up from the till and stared at him with a pout. "What do you want?" she asked harshly with her hands on her hips.

Jackson stepped up to the bar. "Can we talk please?"

"As long as I don't have to hear anything remotely similar to last night" she sighed. "In the back"

Jackson let out a small smile and walked round the bar and into the living room. He closed the door behind him and now stood nervously. He walked to her and held out the bouquet. "These are for you...to apologise"

Chas took it and admired the flowers and their mixed smell.

"I-I doubt anything I'll say will make you forget about last night but I just want you to know that I' am sorry and..." he swallowed hard. "I-I think it was the drinking and I didn't mean to upset you the way I did, the slap was well deserved"

"Jackson I..." she began with a sigh but Jackson cut her off.

"No please, I have something else for you"

Chas nodded and laid the bouquet down on the table and sat down on the sofa. She motioned her head for him to join her and he did. He held the wrapped gift in both hands and his eyes filled with tears. "I' am sorry Chas" he nodded as he handed her the gift.

Chas nodded with a smile, she could see he genuinely meant it if it brought him to tears. She looked down at the wrapped gift and began to open it, she immediately began to see that it was a picture frame and the more she pulled the wrapping off she saw the picture of her and Aaron, their arms around each other with smiles on their faces the day of his and Jackson's wedding.

Chas caught her breath and placed her hand on the locket around her neck and it brought her to tears. "This is beautiful thank you"

Jackson nodded. He felt bad for keeping the truth from her and instead blaming it on his drinking habits. He couldn't bring it up again and upset her more. "He's always around...and I'm not talking in the way of last night I just mean generally that he always is and will be"

Chas looked at him with tears in her eyes, she nodded. "I know" she smiled. "I shouldn't have hit you"

"It knocked some sense into me...well other things did too but you had every right"

"I never ever want to have to do that again"

Jackson smiled. "And I won't make you"

"Good, you're forgiven" she smiled.

Jackson smiled and nodded.

"You can drink pints though surely?" she smirked.

"Oh yeah just not touching the heavy stuff" he chuckled.

"Good, come on then" she stood up and placed the photo down on the dining table and walked back through to the bar with him.

...

Jackson left the pub after finishing his pint and headed home, he walked passed Debbie's when Cain opened the front door and shouted for him. He stopped and walked up to him.

"How you doing? Saw you went to work today, good man"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah just half a day by the time I got sorted but easing myself back into it you know"

Cain nodded.

"Listen Cain...I'm sorry for yesterday I was off with you"

Cain shook his head. "Don't worry about it mate if you need me though I'm not far considering you live just there" he smirked.

Jackson chuckled and stepped away. "Yeah...I'll see you around mate"

When Jackson walked into Dale head his mum was sitting on the sofa, obviously had been waiting for him. "I'm gunna have to sort this spare key business out aren't I?"

Hazel smirked. "I'm sorry love I shouldn't really but I just worry that's all, I won't from now on"

Jackson nodded and sat beside her. "I've been doing my rounds on the Jackson Livesy apology tour" he chuckled. "So I'm sorry for the way I've been lately"

Hazel nodded. "It's alright love"

"No mum-"

"Yes it is Jackson, but you have to let me in when you're struggling"

Jackson turned to her and gave her a tight hug. "It's just hard that's all"

Hazel nodded and placed her hand on his cheek. "I know but you'll get through it and no one is expecting you to forget about him because you won't, none of us will"

Jackson smiled and nodded. "I know"

"Right well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I'm glad you went to work, didn't see the van when I was out and about"

Jackson just smirked. "See you later mum"

Hazel nodded and left him to it.

When she left Jackson emptied his pockets, crumpled receipts, loose change and a few bank notes aswell as his wallet, he threw the wallet onto the sofa beside him and he sighed and rested his head back. This was the way it would be now, silence, him and an empty house. It saddened him. He reached for the remote and put the TV on and rested his feet on the coffee table, it made him smirk when he remembered Aaron telling him off for doing it.

In the corner of his eye he saw a few cards had fallen out of his wallet when he'd thrown it to his side, he turned and picked them up and began to put them all back. One card that he came too however caused him to blush, _Matt Griffin_ Jackson thought as he pouted. He nodded, he was very, very easy on the eye, tanned, slight stubble, his built torso and arms immediately told Jackson he worked out and the tattoos he had on his arms aswell had caught his attention. He twiddled the card in his fingers for several minutes as he contemplated texting him.

...

Several miles away Matt walked out of work with his work mates and walked across the car park when his phone beeped. He pulled it out and saw an unknown number then he read it. _**Hi, it's Jackson from bar west the other night, was just wondering if you wanna meet again? Or not just whatever you want, speak soon hopefully :)**_

Matt grinned from ear to ear as he looked down at the message; his mate Sam whacked him on the shoulder. "Oh yeah, what's that grin for eh?"

Matt pushed him back. "Get out of it you!" he laughed and unlocked his car.

"See you tomorrow mate oh and don't remember we've got those drills first thing"

Matt was almost in the car and he cocked his eyebrow. "Like I could forget!" he called back to him and then shut the car door and looked at the text again to reply.

_**Hey mate, yeah course I do, bar west tonight? 8? X **_Matt smiled and pressed send.

...

Jackson smiled when he read the reply, he nodded and curled his lips, he looked forward to it and all he had to do now was to see what happened and remember everything Aaron told him.

TBC...


	38. The Date

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Date"

This fanfic follows **on a few hours after** _Easing Back Into It_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Jackson stood outside bar west pinching his lower lip, it was five past eight, he was late but he was nervous. The warm evening sun was beating down on him, he loved nights like that. He shook his head and opened the doors. He was wearing a low cut white V neck t-shirt and dark jeans. He looked around for Matt but couldn't see him. Jackson walked to the bar but was tapped on the shoulder seconds later. "I erm I got you one in...Got a table" he smiled.

Jackson was overwhelmed by his smoky grey eyes and his smile, the perfect teeth, him in general. He was physically attracted to him, Jackson knew that and so did Aaron. But would the personally match up. Jackson sighed. "Guess I'll find out" he mumbled to himself as he followed him to the table.

Jackson sat opposite him. "I'm sorry I was late I was a bit nervous to be honest..."

Matt nodded. "Don't be" he smiled. "So how are you doing?"

Jackson smiled with a nod. "I'm alright you know, every second is difficult but I went to work today which is a start"

Matt's smile was beautiful and he seemed genuinely interested in Jackson. "How was it?"

"It was fine, did a few little jobs then went home..."

Matt nodded. "Slowly but surely, what do you do anyway?" he asked as he picked up his pint.

"I'm a builder" Jackson replied.

"Cool, yeah you like the type...in a good way of course" he smirked.

Jackson chuckled. "What about you?"

"I'm a fireman, based locally, station just down the road"

Jackson smiled. "Handy that, bars on your doorstep for you finishing work"

"Has its upsides" he didn't say it but the upside was setting his eyes on Jackson that day.

"I bet...so I couldn't help but wonder...out of everyone here you found my bracelet and safely returned it, why?" Jackson asked curiously.

Matt smiled and leaned over the table slightly. "Should I be honest?" he asked with a sparkle in his eye.

"Best policy" Jackson nodded with a smile.

"Alright...I saw you that night and I was instantly attracted to you, but I could see the pain you were in...I-I wanted to talk to you but before I had chance you left, I watched you and like I told you the other day I saw it fall and I picked it up because I'm a nice person and because I wanted to see you again"

Jackson nodded. "Right then well I'm here...and you know some of my history so I'm just gunna do the general warning...if you stick around afterwards I'm impressed..."

Matt curled his lips, he was curious. "Shoot"

"Alright, I'm not just after sex, to be honest I don't know what I want right now but I do have to move on and if you don't want anything serious then I suggest you jog on" he told him in one breath.

Matt chuckled. "Impressed, I like you Jackson, I really do..." he stood up. "Another drink?" he asked.

"Yeah sure" he frowned. What had just happened? He was shocked he hadn't taken offence to what he said and left. He pondered it all until Matt came back with two pints.

Matt had a smile on his face as he sat. Jackson eyed him. "What's the smile for?"

Matt chuckled and shook his head. "You and that ultimatum...never had that before but I respect you for it...and I'm not just after sex either I want more than that, I've had crap relationships in the past that really hurt me and now want to find the real deal, had enough of being messed around"

"Whoever hurt you I hope their sorry"

Matt frowned.

"Well..." he trailed off wondering whether he should continue. He did. "Look at you...got it all haven't ya?"

Matt smiled while Jackson felt embarrassed. "Thanks, stop feeling embarrassed I can see it in your eyes, seriously mate, I'm a really nice guy and to be honest nothing fazes me...yeah I'm big and bulky but that's just because of the jobs I've had...and to what you said originally, yeah I hope they are sorry" he grinned and took a drink of his pint.

Jackson smiled slightly and noticed the necklace he had on and the outline of dog tags under his tight t-shirt. "Army?" he asked.

"You what?" Matt looked across at him.

"Your necklace, dog tags..." Jackson told him.

"Oh" Matt nodded. "Yeah, was in the army for five years, I loved it..." his expression seemed to flatten.

"Why did you leave?"

"I'd rather not if you don't mind"

Jackson sighed. "I'm sorry"

"No you don't need to be maybe one day I'll tell you" Matt smiled.

"There'll be a one day will there?" Jackson asked with a smirk.

"I really do hope so" Matt said as he let out a breath and admired Jackson in front of him.

As the night went on, they chatted and laughed together but it came to a point when the bar became too noisy. "Should we er...get out of here!" Matt had gotten up and spoken into Jackson's ear.

Jackson's heartbeat became faster as he looked at him closely and nodded followed by him getting up and following Matt outside.

Matt looked across to Jackson and smiled. "That's better"

"Yeah usually gets a bit rowdy at this time" he breathed, looked at him awkwardly feeling nervous, he never used to be like this but things changed and so did people. "So, how old are you?"

"Twenty eight, that ok or too old?" he smirked with a cheeky look in his eyes.

Jackson laughed. "No, no...That's alright...I'm twenty two, twenty three in a few weeks"

"Young" he smirked and nudged his shoulder with his playfully.

"Well if we were to you know...it'd be the first time I was the younger one...Aaron was nineteen"

"Wow...and you were married?"

Jackson nodded. "And completely in love" he smiled and looked away. "Listen I erm..." he turned back to him. "I better go, got to be up for work but I had fun and you've got my number?"

Matt smiled and nodded. "I certainly have"

"Good" Jackson smiled back. "I look forward to your text then" he said as he started walking away.

Further down the road Jackson's phone rang and he smiled when Matt's name flashed up, he answered it.

"_How about a call?"_ Matt asked with a smile as he watched him walk.

"Callings fine too, now go you've got those drills in the morning"

"_Ugh don't remind me...I had fun tonight too Jackson and I like you but I understand what you're going through"_

Jackson couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, I appreciate that...So what exactly does that mean?"

"_What does what mean?"_ Matt asked with a chuckle.

"I mean does it mean you wanna see how it goes?"

"_Well...yeah I do but ultimately it's up to you Jackson, from what you've said it hasn't been long since Aaron died and I just want you to be sure really"_

"I' am, slowly yeah?"

"_Yeah alright, enjoy the rest of your night and I'll call you tomorrow"_

"I look forward to it, night Matt" Jackson told him and hung up the call and put it back in his pocket, once he turned a corner he stopped and stood against a wall and took a minute to soak in what was going on. He knew it might be too fast but thinking of Matt and then Aaron's words to him whirling around in his head made him felt okay about it.

TBC...


	39. Conflict

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Conflict"

This fanfic follows** on the next day after **_The Date_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

It was a bright, sunny warm morning as Jackson got in his van to head off to work, but first he had to take a detour first. Five minutes later he pulled up at Butler's farm and got out and walked several metres before seeing John and Moira.

They saw him too and headed over. "How you doing love?" Moira asked.

"I'm alright...just getting on...Is Adam around? I haven't heard from him in a while"

John sighed. "I'm not surprised...he hasn't been into the village since the funeral mate...he's not doing so well...he's not talking, he's not eating, we've caught him crying a few times...I'm glad you're here...we've tried everything maybe you could?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah course I will"

"Thank you...he's in the barn probably" Moira told him.

Jackson headed on up to the barn and saw Adam sitting in silence. Adam turned to him when he saw a shadow cast on the ground ahead of him.

"Haven't seen you in a while mate..."

Adam rolled his eyes. "My parents call ya did they?"

Jackson walked in shaking his head. "Nope, I was worried...thought I'd come see you...but when I got here they did tell me yeah and I'm glad they did"

Adam sighed.

"I'm not here to tell you stuff you probably already know but I will if I have too. I know it's hard...but you know what to do"

"I'm working aren't I?"

"Getting a meal down ya might help?"

Adam sighed again. "Are they being serious? It's none of theirs or your business"

"But it is Adam, you're their son and you were Aaron's mate, now I wouldn't be a very good husband if I didn't look out for you would I?"

"But you aren't anymore are ya?"

Jackson sighed, he was making it difficult. "No, I'm not anymore but I was. The name I shared with him is still mine now and that means something to me and if it means anything to you then you'll listen!"

"Course it does"

"Right well, get in the house, have something filling to eat...get some work done and meet me at mine at about quarter past seven"

"Why?" Adam frowned.

"Cause we're going out"

"I-I'm not up-"

"Don't bail on me Adam...coming back to the village will be the first step you have to take...that's half the battle"

"But everything reminds me of him"

"And smile when it does" Jackson smiled and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Alright...quarter past seven"

"Good man" Jackson said and stood up. "See you then"

When he left the barn John and Moira were waiting hopeful of some progress. Jackson approached. "Well I had a word, told him to have a filling meal...which" he smirked. "You'll have to sort Moira knowing him"

"Damn right I will, a filling meal to him is probably a sandwich...I'll sort that" she told him.

"And?" John asked.

"To get back to work and then to meet me at mine at quarter past seven, I'll take him out see if I can talk to him more"

"You are a life saver mate; we'll see that he leaves this house ready" John praised him.

"No problem anyway gotta get to work see you guys around"

Both of them watched Jackson walked away. "That's amazing"

"I know...I dunno how he manages to keep going...Aaron would be proud" Moira commented with a smile.

...

Chas was having an off day, she took the day off and stayed in her pyjamas, she'd called Paddy to drop in when he could; she wanted to speak to him about something.

When he arrived he was surprised to see her not dressed. "Chas..."

Chas turned and looked at him standing by the door.

"It's nearly five" Paddy commented as he walked in further and sat down.

Chas shrugged. "An off day" she flashed a smile, then reached over onto the table. "I-I erm I've been working out some ideas of what to put on his headstone..." she handed the notepad to him and he took it and read them over.

Paddy sighed and shook his head. "We shouldn't be doing this, no kid is meant to go before their parent"

"_Parents _Paddy_" _she corrected.

Paddy looked up and nodded with a smile. He looked back at what Chas had wrote down and unclipped the pen from the binder and circled the one he thought best and handed it back to her with a smile.

Chas looked at it and instantly her eyes filled and she nodded to him with a smile. "Thank you...I'll show Jackson, I'm sure he'll agree"

Paddy nodded. "He will...you try and be brave even when you're behind the bar but you're forgetting I know you Chas Dingle...and now my thoughts are confirmed...you're not coping as well as you'd like everyone to think you are, are you?"

Chas shook her head and started to cry; Paddy rushed to her and gave her a hug. "I feel so horrible" she sobbed.

"Why?" Paddy asked softly.

"Because I abandoned him Paddy and when he came back into my life it wasn't the best, I wasn't the best"

"No but either was he Chas"

"I know" she hit her leg with her clenched fist. "But I should have tried harder!"

"You did everything you could Chas, you were a great mum, and he came back to you properly..."

"But it wasn't long enough" she sobbed. "He should still be here, I want him to scowl at me and tell me to stop having a go and I want to tell him to stop putting empty milk cartons back in the fridge...you remember him doing that?"

Paddy chuckled. "Yeah and according to Jackson he kept doing it"

Chas nodded.

"He loved you Chas he really, really did"

"And I loved him too" she said in a hushed tone and she struggled and buried her head into Paddy again and cried uncontrollably.

...

Adam and Jackson walked into Bar West and got their drinks and sat down. "You're mum and dad are just worried about you ya know..."

"Yeah I know and I keep telling them I'm fine"

"But you're not mate...we're all in this together, I'm here for you alright?"

Adam nodded. "I know and I appreciate it and I appreciate this, bringing me out but it doesn't take it away, the fact that he's gone"

"No I know and I know I said I wouldn't... but I'm gunna tell you what many people have told me...you've gotta keep going and move on with life and before you say you can't...you can because you won't forget him, he'll always be with you, it's like that poem from the funeral...he's in everything you see" Jackson smiled. "Look, I know I can't replace Aaron and I wouldn't want too but I' am your mate, you can come to me day or night"

Adam nodded. "Thanks Jackson" he smiled. "How's work been?"

"Oh good yeah, picking up loads thankfully...was kinda worried it wouldn't for a while considering I stopped everything..."

"Yeah but everyone will have understood?"

"Yeah they were great, passed on their condolences etc, and organised for their work to be done...haven't lost any clients"

"Good, I'm pleased for ya mate, that would have been the last thing you needed"

Jackson nodded. "I know, but I couldn't let Declan down I suppose, he invested in the business, helped me when I needed it..."

...

Matt walked into Bar West after a busy day at work, he looked around and smiled when he saw Jackson sitting at a table with another man, he didn't read into any of it he wasn't the type. He got a drink and walked over. "Alright?" he asked as he approached their table with a smile on his face.

Jackson looked up with a smirk on his face and he nodded. "Yeah you?"

"Better now, can I join you?"

"Sure, Adam this is Matt, Matt, Adam"

"Nice to meet you mate" Matt said to Adam and held out his hand. However Adam's reception was frosty and he looked at them both through narrowed eyes that tore holes into them.

Adam swallowed hard. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

Matt frowned and lowered his hand. Jackson frowned at him. "What?"

"Y-You and him?" Adam spat.

Jackson shrugged. "We don't know yet but we've clicked"

Adam stood up quickly, knocking the table a little. "I can't believe you, you're husband is barely cold in the ground Jackson!" he raised his voice and pointed at him.

Jackson stood defensively. "Don't go there mate, you have no idea what I've been through, still going through"

"Yes I do"

Jackson shook his head. "No mate...you really don't. Aaron would want me to move on and live my life, whether it's with Matt or someone else I know for a fact he'd be happy for me and right now I'm doing nothing wrong"

Adam shook his head angrily. Matt downed his drink and stood. "I-I better go"

"Good idea" Adam glared at him.

"No it's him who's going...I thought you were my mate Adam"

"I' am but I didn't think you'd stoop so low as to find a rebound guy"

Matt stepped forward behind Jackson. "Excuse me?"

Adam stepped forward to him aggressively. "You heard me"

"What? You gunna hit me?" Matt asked.

Adam's rage rose and he lashed out with his clenched fist a few times; Jackson fell against the table and the table fell on its side and Jackson hit the floor with it. In his fit of anger he hadn't realised he'd hit Jackson and he kept going but Matt grabbed his fist and squeezed his hand around it, forcing him to stop. "You think he needs that?" Matt got close and pushed him away then turned his attention to Jackson and helped him up as two bouncers came over.

Adam held his hands over his mouth. "I-I'm sorry..." he told Jackson as one of the bouncers walked up to him. Adam flinched away. "Alright...I'm going..." he sighed and swiftly left.

"Is he alright?" a bouncer asked.

Matt nodded and looked at him. "Y-yeah I think so"

The bouncer nodded and walked away.

"Come on let's get you out of here" he took Jackson by the arm and helped him as they made their way out.

...

Half an hour later Jackson found himself sitting in Matt's house, he looked around as he waited for him to come back from the kitchen, it was very sparse, only a few personal items were placed around and only a few DVDs were on the shelf underneath the TV. Tears suddenly fell from Jackson's eyes and he lowered his head and fiddled with his fingers.

Matt walked in a minute later and frowned, he rushed to the sofa, placed the bowl of warm water down and sat in front of him. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Jackson looked up. "M-Maybe he's right"

"Jackson you've got to do what you think is right for you and if you are being honest with yourself then who cares what anyone else thinks..."

"I' am" he nodded as he sobbed. "I' am being honest with myself"

"That's good" he reached out and hesitantly placed his hand on Jackson's arm

Jackson looked down at his hand nervously. "I just feel like I've let Adam down, he was Aaron's best mate...I-I can understand how he feels I can but he's gotta understand it from my side aswell and Aaron's in a way because he would know what he would want me to do"

Matt nodded and looked sympathetically at him and rubbed his arm gently, then leaned in and kissed his cheek.

Jackson's heart seemed to stop for that split second and he stopped crying, he calmed down and looked into his eyes.

"You're not doing anything wrong" Matt smiled at him. "You have to move on otherwise you'll get stuck in a depressing hole...which I'm sure you've been on the verge of..."

Jackson nodded. "Yeah"

"Adam will come to his senses eventually when his own grieving has eased..."

"I hope so"

Matt nodded. "But to be honest if I ever meet him again, I'll be having words"

Jackson chuckled "You're quite the protective type aren't ya?"

Matt smiled. "I like to think so" he told him as he reached for the bowl and dabbed in some cotton wool.

"Oh...no...Matt really it's late you don't have too"

"I chose too" he smirked. "My house, my rules..."

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah alright then"

Matt turned and concentrated fully on Jackson and gently cupped his hand under his chin and turned his head to the side so he had a clear view of the split on Jackson's lower lip and he wiped it gently free of blood.

"T-T" Jackson sighed.

"Go on..." Matt's eyes looked up into Jackson's.

"This world is cruel...but...but you make me feel safe" he told him honestly.

Matt nodded "All my life I've done jobs that have been to keep people safe, when I left school I trained to be a police officer, then the army came along and now the fire service...at first I did those first two jobs because of what it entailed, keeping people safe..."

Jackson listened and watched him intently, he seemed to be opening up and he didn't mind learning more about this man who had come into his life at such a dark time.

"But the army..." he shook his head. "That changed me so much...after..." he moved his head from side to side. "What happened, I left...and it didn't seem as important anymore, now I just work for working sake, the pay at the end of the month to be honest but since I met you Jackson...you've made me want to keep you safe..."

Jackson smiled at him then it faded. "What happened Matt?" he asked softly.

Matt sighed. "I like to think I've given you a good impression of me...and I really don't want to ruin that so...I don't think I should tell you yet, it kills me every single day so it's more than just personal I hope you understand"

"Yeah, of course I do"

"Thanks" he smiled.

Jackson nodded.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore, bit of a headache but I'll be fine..."

"You didn't bang your head did you?" Matt asked worriedly.

"Nope" Jackson shook his head. "Honestly I'm fine, relax"

Matt nodded and Jackson shivered. "Bit cold in here innit?"

"After spending years in Iraq I guess I appreciated the cold British weather a bit more..." he chuckled as he got up. "Won't be a minute"

Jackson's shoulders slumped, he secretly wanted to be closer to him and two words sprung to mind, from his own and from Aaron. _You Div. _Jackson smirked as he imagined Aaron saying that back to him, next thing he knew a blanket was thrown at him. It caught him off guard and he looked up quickly and laughed.

"And I've put the heating on, so you should be alright soon" Matt smiled, his bulky figure amazing Jackson once again.

"Cheers" Jackson thanked him as he sat back down next to him.

Silence fell upon them and a few minutes later Jackson decided to speak. "So, when was your last relationship?"

"About five, six years ago...he was called Steve, everything was perfect then I found him having sex with someone else...it broke my heart because I think I was genuinely in love with him...but it can blind you...it hurt" Matt nodded. "So I left everything and everyone"

"The army?"

"Yeah" he smiled. "How did you meet Aaron?"

Jackson chuckled. "In bar west funnily enough...at the time he was just coming to terms with his sexuality, he wasn't out to anyone I like to think I helped him a bit" Jackson smiled. "It wasn't all perfect though, we had our ups and downs, argued, broke up got back together...then he had an accident well...he was beaten up but he got brain damage from it..."

"Really?" Matt wasn't expecting that.

Jackson nodded. "He couldn't remember who we were...that didn't last long though, it was the reading and writing that did but he learned again...he had to find work elsewhere though, he couldn't remember how to do anything, he was a mechanic but he started working in the local, then bar west but he couldn't manage the two so he stayed at bar west..."

"Bet that was hard for him"

"He kept on going though" Jackson smiled. "About a month before he died he tried again at the garage and he made a breakthrough" Jackson lowered his head. "I can still see the sparkle in his eye and the proud look on his face" he explained as tears fell. "Around that time my work load increased and erm...we did something every month after our wedding, a meal or just something together, just us but we had to have arrange it earlier cause of my work...it was a normal day...we'd see each other when we got home"

Matt nodded.

"I finished a bit earlier and I went to the pub, and that's when Chas, his mum got the call...and he was gone" he shook his head. "He worked on cars for as long as I'd known him...and that's what killed him in the end..." he sighed shaking his head. "I'm still grieving, and struggling on but you make it better...and this is the third time I've seen you...it sounds silly..."

"It doesn't...if you like someone then you like them, you can't stop it happening, unless you wanted it too"

Jackson looked at him properly and their eyes connected. "No I don't want it to stop"

Matt nodded. "Me either...I'm gunna be protective again..." he chuckled.

Jackson rolled his eyes cheekily. "Go on then"

"I'm not letting you out of my sight...stay here tonight, no funny business I just wanna keep an eye on ya"

"I couldn't I've already put you out"

"Since when?"

"Since you brought me back to clean me up"

"And again...I chose too...please I'd feel better knowing you're alright and in the morning I'll drive you home"

"Alright..." Jackson gave in. "But it was just a punch"

"Yeah one you didn't deserve...so" Matt rested back into the sofa with Jackson. "What else is there to know about one another?" he asked as he turned and looked at Jackson who rested his head on the arm of the sofa.

TBC...


	40. Insight Into The Dark

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Insight Into The Dark"

This fanfic follows** on the next morning after **_Conflict_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Matt pulled up outside of Dale head behind Jackson's van. He smiled as he looked around as he pulled up the hand brake. "Nice place, quiet I assume?" he asked as he turned to Jackson.

Jackson smirked. "Actually you'd be surprised at the dramas that can go on around here" he chuckled. "Listen erm... thank you for last night and I wanna see you again"

Matt smiled widely. "I'm so happy you said that, so when do I get to see your gorgeous face again?"

"Tonight...come here if you like? We could get a takeaway and watch a film or something?"

Matt nodded. "I'd like that"

Unknown to them Adam was walking down the village making his way to Dale head; he looked up and frowned at a car pulled up behind Jackson's. He hadn't seen it before, however he stopped and his eyes narrowed as he watched Jackson get out of the car, he shook his head and stormed down to him. When he reached him he pointed to him angrily. "I was coming to apologise to you!" Adam raised his voice and Jackson spun around to him.

Matt turned and looked out the window and sighed as he saw Adam and he got out of the car and rested his arms on the roof. "Ahh come on mate not this again, he stayed at mine last night because his so called mate lamped him one, have you seen the state of his eye for god sake?"

"I'm not talking to you!" Adam spat angrily.

"Adam I've gotta move on...I know its fast but Aaron would want this"

"And how the hell would you know what Aaron would want he's dead"

Matt sighed and shook his head. "That's not fair mate"

Adam glanced at him but other than that, he generally ignored him.

"Because I knew him Adam!" Jackson fought back.

"Yes and so did I!" Adam stepped forward closer to him.

Matt's eyes looked a few metres away behind Adam when a woman with long black hair wearing a red top, jeans and high heels looked at them wondering what was going on. "Hey lads...lads calm down I could hear you up there" Chas told them.

Adam sighed and stepped away.

"What the hell happened to you?" Chas asked as she saw Jackson's black eye and swollen lip.

"Nothing" Jackson shook his head.

"Listen Jackson, I'll see you later alright" he smiled.

Jackson turned and smiled at him with a nod. "Yeah, see ya later"

Matt got back in his car and drove off.

"And who the hell was that?" Chas asked in her usual high pitched tone.

"You gunna tell her or am I?" Adam asked him.

"Adam" Jackson said quietly as he shook his head. "Not now"

"W-What? Jackson?"

"It's his new bloke Chas and the black eye is off me because I went mental when I realised what was going on when he joined our table last night when we were in town" Adam explained.

Jackson lowered his head and stared down at the footpath.

"Jackson?" Chas asked quietly trying to hide the emotions she was feeling after hearing that news. "Is that true?"

"Yeah...but he's not my new boyfriend, h-he..." he sighed and looked up. "Do you see what you've caused now?" he shouted at Adam.

"I'm not the one forgetting Aaron mate, my conscience is clear" Adam told him matter of factly.

"He's hasn't even been in the ground a month Jackson" Chas told him, a lump in her throat came out of nowhere and she felt tears filling her eyes.

"I know, but he's not my boyfriend alright, he's a mate...someone who I can talk too"

"What about us?" Chas asked. "Me and Paddy...we're here...Adam is here..." she began to cry.

Jackson shrugged. "You're all trying to deal with it yourselves you shouldn't have to help me"

"But Aaron loved you and I'd do anything for you...but this Jackson..." she shook her head. "I'm speechless" she told him and turned away and walked back up to the pub.

Jackson sighed. "Chas! Please!"

"Leave it Jackson unless you want your head torn off!" she yelled back angrily.

He shook his head and walked up to the door, turning back to Adam wanting to say something but he bit his tongue and walked inside the house.

...

Later that day as the sun was going down Jackson was in the bathroom looking himself up and down in the mirror. "So nervous" he mumbled to himself. Jackson had opted for a checked shirt, the red one he'd worn many times. He took a breath. "I've never felt like this in a long time" he shook himself to try and take away his nerves; he sprayed some aftershave and walked downstairs. He looked around and it was clean and tidy, it smelt fresh. He was pleased with it and all he had to do now was wait. He opened the front door and stood outside in warm night air watching for his car.

Hazel walked up to him after not seeing him for a while "Hi love..."

Jackson turned to her. "Hi" he smiled.

"You're looking all dressed up"

"That's cause I' am..." he flashed his cheeky grin as Matt pulled up outside. "Got a mate coming and he's here so if you wouldn't mind"

Hazel turned as she heard a car door slam. She smiled. "Ohh hello...now if I was twenty years younger"

"Nooo...five surely?" Matt asked with a smirk as he took off his sunglasses.

Hazel chuckled. "Ohh you little devil"

Jackson looked up with a sparkle in his eye. "Mum, this is Matt, Matt this is Hazel...my mum"

"Well it's nice to meet you Hazel" he said as he leaned in and kissed her cheeks, politely.

Hazel blushed. "Well...I think I need a drink, have a good night boys" she smirked and winked to Jackson as she left.

Jackson laughed and put his head in his hands briefly then looked up at Matt. "So sorry about that"

"Don't be, I wasn't expecting to meet your mum so quick though"

"Yeah I know, she isn't so bad..." Jackson stood with his hands in his pockets nervously. "You look good..." he blushed and turned and walked into the house.

Matt followed him in, he took a breath as he looked around it was a lovely house, very homey. "Nice place" he commented.

Jackson turned round with a smile. "Thanks"

"Jackson" he spoke softly. "I-I decided something today at work and I want to explain my past to you...I know what I said but I want to tell you now so that if we do...you know...go further then at least you know"

Jackson nodded. "Alright...you don't have too though you know that don't you?"

Matt flashed a nervous smile and nodded.

"Okay, I'll just get us some drinks and then we'll talk"

Matt smiled and watched him walk into the kitchen.

Jackson came back and saw him still standing barely in the room. "Make yourself at home, relax..."

Matt nodded and he approached the sofa and sat down.

"You don't strike me as someone who gets nervous...listen...I'm not going to judge...trust me" Jackson comforted him.

"I know it's just because of what it is...but you have to know...you know I served in the army?"

Jackson nodded.

"And that I left?"

"Yep"

"Alright...a month before I left I was on patrol with a few others from my unit...we were in Iraq...we were there to protect them but some didn't see it that way and anyway when we were patrolling we came across a kid, he erm..." Matt frowned. "He was armed and he aimed it at us..." Matt let out a breath and he tapped his foot of the carpet.

Jackson noticed this immediately he took it as a sign of nervousness, but he never expected that even though he'd just began. He reached out and placed his hand on his leg to ease him.

"I-I didn't know what to do...I tried to talk him round...and I could see him putting pressure on the trigger" Matt shook his head. "I aimed for his leg purposely and I shot...it was the hardest, most horrible decision of my life...I knew what I had to do to keep me and my guy's safe...I aimed for his leg so it didn't kill him..." Matt looked away and he let out a sob. "B-But it did" he nodded and dropped his head into his hands. "A-A-" he stuttered. "And you needed to know because it messed me up big time, I'm not a killer Jackson..." he shook his head.

Jackson frowned; it was a lot to process. "I believe you" he moved closer and put his arm around his back.

"I had to leave...excused on grounds of mental illness"

"Matt..." Jackson didn't know what to say. "I-erm..."

"You don't have to say anything...I wanted you to know because I'm feeling things for you that I haven't felt in a long time and plus if we do go further and we share a bed at any point then you'll have to know because I have nightmares" he shrugged.

"Nothing to be ashamed of"

"Sometimes I think it is" he said quietly.

...

Chas had been giving evil looks to hazel for the better part of half an hour but now she decided to march over. "So seen Jackson?"

"I have" Hazel smiled. "Is everything okay?"

"No" Chas shook her head. "Not really"

"Well spit it out then come on"

"Your son has a new fella!"

Hazel rolled her eyes. "I've met him, nice and fit to, but he's not his fella Chas, he's just a mate"

"Oh yeah and you believe him?"

"Until he tells me otherwise then yes I do" she told her quickly and then held up her empty glass up. "Another please"

Chas snatched the glass from Hazel's hand and turned and walked back to the bar.

...

"I can't imagine what it must have been like for you...what it still must be like"

Matt nodded. "You were so honest with me about you and Aaron despite how raw it still is I just felt you should know so I changed my mind today and now here I' am...you know"

Jackson nodded. "I appreciate your honesty and it doesn't change a thing"

Matt frowned and looked at him.

"What?" Jackson chuckled. "Expected me to do a runner? You were protecting guys from your unit...you didn't intentionally kill the kid but he wasn't holding back by the sounds of it, he wouldn't have Matt and you did what was right, the result wasn't your fault"

Matt wiped his eyes and cleaned himself up. "Maybe" he turned and smiled. "Thank you"

"You're welcome..." Jackson's heart melted when he watched him fall apart and he felt an urge to be closer to him, he bravely took his next step and leaned closer looking deep into his gray eyes, he reached up to his face and rested it on his cheek, his hand brushing against the light blonde stubble that matched his blonde, brown hair. Jackson's eyes searched his the more the two men became closer, the moment was happening, it couldn't be slowed down and it couldn't stop. Their lips gently brushed each other's then Matt kissed back more forcefully aswell as Jackson. They were locked in an embrace, their first kiss and it wasn't going to stop for a while, it had all nervously built up and Jackson seeing him like that made him respect him even more. He wanted him. Matt wanted him. They had each other and their moment was now.

TBC...


	41. Moving On

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Moving On"

This fanfic follows** on immediately after **_Insight Into The Dark_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Both men parted after a while when their need for air overruled their desire. Jackson looked at him as he remained close. "Wow" he said breathlessly.

Matt smirked and placed his hand in Jackson's. "You okay?" he asked.

Jackson nodded. "I'm fine" he said with a nod. "Are you?"

Matt nodded. "I'm fine too, that was amazing"

"Thanks" he chuckled. "So...our date, should we erm...order some food?"

"Yeah" Matt smiled. "Go on then I like anything so whatever you pick will be fine"

Jackson got up and walked into the kitchen. Matt looked around some more. He got up and walked to the mantel piece around the fire and he picked up a picture, a young man immediately knowing it was Aaron. Matt smiled, he was attractive and he could see why Jackson fell in love with him, especially now aswell knowing some of the history.

Jackson walked back into the living room with a menu and he stopped in his tracks. "Oh erm...I didn't know whether I should have taken them down..." he sighed and then cursed himself, why should he? It was a stupid statement and Jackson knew that.

Matt swung round to him frowning. "Are you kidding?"

Jackson shrugged. "I dunno, I just wanted you to feel comfortable"

Matt nodded and placed the photo back down. "And I do, Jackson I'd never ask you to hide stuff like that I know how much he meant to you and to be honest, I can see why" he chuckled.

Jackson smirked with a nod and he lowered his head.

Matt walked over and placed his arms around his waist. Jackson's body reacted to Matt's closeness and he blushed. "Listen Jackson, don't think that you have to hide stuff like that or anything else, like I say I know how much he meant and that will never go away, I'm not the type to be funny about that or to get jealous. Why?" he shrugged. "You had Aaron and he had you... and now I have you and I'll look after you"

"You have me?" Jackson smirked.

"Well...yeah, I want that" he smiled widely.

"Boyfriends?" Jackson realised how stupid he sounded and smirked as he looked away.

"Yes...if you want too though? I know it might seem fast and so soon after Aaron but I like you Jackson, you have no idea...as soon as I saw ya..." Matt swallowed hard and rested his head against Jackson's.

Jackson could feel his warm breath on his skin; it sent shivers down his back. He looked over at Aaron's picture. _Just Say Yes Jackson _Aaron's words echoed in his mind. "Yes, yes..." he said quickly as he kissed him. "Yes..." he said again, breathlessly in between kisses.

When their lips parted once more Matt hugged him tightly, Jackson could feel Matt's ripped body against his and the warmth of him, it felt good to feel that again and he held him back as tightly.

"So...what did you pick?"

Jackson laughed and shook the menu in front of him. "Chinese" he cocked an eyebrow waiting for Matt's approval or not.

Matt nodded with a smile. "Perfect"

...

After their meal Jackson and Matt cuddled on the sofa with the TV on in the background. Matt lay behind Jackson and traced his finger along his revealing collarbone. Jackson smiled and turned onto his back and looked up at him. "Is this really happening?"

Matt nodded and smiled at him. "It certainly is" he leaned down and kissed his lips.

"Tell me about you, you're family..." Jackson told him.

Matt nodded. "Alright...well all the male members of the family were in the army...hence me joining...my dad was killed in the army though"

"Oh...I-I'm sorry"

"It's alright it was a long time ago now" he smiled. "My mum she's in a nursing home kind of thing, respite, she's got terminal cancer"

Jackson sat up a little, the small of his back now supported by the arm of the chair. "Oh god Matt..." he sighed. "I-I dunno what to say"

"Jackson" he placed his hand in his. "It's fine, honestly...I couldn't look after her so that was the best thing for her, I pay for it all, it's the least I can do and she understands, I see her a lot so it's all good" he smiled. "And I have an older sister, she's thirty two called Lucy" Matt chuckled. "I love her, she's brilliant a bit too protective though. What about yours?"

"Oh it's just my mum really...my dad's with his new wife...they divorced, we never really saw eye to eye..."

"How come?"

"Being gay was enough" Jackson told him honestly. "He hit me, I think that was the breaking point for my mum though, she went travelling a lot afterwards and I got on with my life, my business and met Aaron" Jackson smiled slightly. "My mum came back last year, been back since"

"I bet it's nice to have her around"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah it is but sometimes I feel like I'm holding her back, after Aaron died I went through a really horrible, dark initial stage of grief and I think she daren't leave if she wanted too"

"That's understandable though I suppose"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah I know she just cares but she has to have a life too"

Matt and Jackson continued to talk into the night until falling asleep in each other's arms on the sofa.

...

The following morning Jackson woke up on the sofa alone, he jumped up and looked around, he instantly saw a glass of orange juice, a bowl of cereal and some toast on the dining table and he frowned curiously and stood up as he rubbed his eyes. He stopped at the table and saw a note reading _**Sorry gorgeous I got up to make you breakfast then I got called in on an emergency, I hope it's okay for you, I loved last night boyfriend oh and you are so cute when you're sleeping, I'll drop by later xxx**_

Jackson smiled, he nodded. That was fine with him. He pulled out the chair and sat down and poured milk over his cereal and started eating. He paused for a second and looked around the living room and smiled. "For once you were right...wherever you are" he spoke out loud and continued eating.

Moments later there was a loud knock at the door. "Come in!" Jackson yelled.

The door swung open immediately and Chas walked in. "Oh nice to see you've been enjoying yourself" she said seeing the many bottles of lager and plates with left-over food on them.

Jackson sighed and stood up. "Matt was here last night..."

"Oh yeah course...so" she stepped forward and handed him a piece of paper with the final layout of the headstone on it. "Am I putting husband on it or what?"

Jackson instantly frowned, he angrily held up his left hand.

Chas sighed and looked away.

"Yes. And no before you start I haven't forgotten and I never will"

"Doesn't look like it from where I'm standing"

"Well tough, I'm being honest and I like Matt so...you'll have to get used to it at some point, we're together"

"Oh just like that!" Chas laughed.

Jackson nodded. "No actually it's taken a lot to get to this point actually so don't you stand there judging me! I'm aware it's fast but Aaron like I've said many times before, would want me too" he stepped closer to her and handed the paper back to her. "It's beautiful I approve"

Chas snatched it back. "Well I don't" she turned and walked out; Jackson knew her last words weren't about Aaron's headstone.

...

Hours later after Jackson's work day ended he cleaned around the house then went for a shower. As he got out he heard the door knock. "Oh crap" he closed his eyes and tightened the towel around his waist and ran down the stairs and answered the door. Matt stood on the door step and his eyes widened and he looked Jackson up and down who was dripping wet and blushing immensely at this point. "Wow..." Matt breathed. "Catch you at a bad time?"

"Depends how you look at it?" Jackson quipped with a smirk.

"Well..." Matt laughed when Jackson stepped back to allow him in. He closed the door and let out an awkward laugh and stepped closer and quickly kissed him. "I'll um..." he pointed to the stairs. "I'll just put some clothes on"

"You really don't have too" Matt said with a wink.

Jackson chuckled and walked away and made his way upstairs. When he came back down he sat beside Matt and smiled. "Sorry about that"

Matt shook his head. "Don't worry about it...listen would I be too cheesy if i was to say that you've been on my mind all day and I've missed you?"

Jackson smiled and shook his head. "Nope" he leaned in and they passionately kissed. Jackson let his hands roam across Matt's shoulders and his arms but the kiss was broken when Matt pulled away wincing in pain.

"What's wrong?" Jackson asked as Matt lifted up the small sleeve on his t-shirt to reveal a large burn on his upper arm.

"I-It's not as bad as it looks really...all a part of the job" he turned quickly and smiled.

"No Matt it is bad, why haven't you got it seen too?"

Matt shrugged. "I hate hospitals" he answered honestly.

"So do I, spent enough time in them but that could get infected, come on" Jackson stood up.

"Why? Where we going?" Matt asked.

"Hospital you div, up now...come on"

Matt nodded and got up, following him out the house to the van.

A while later they sat in the waiting room in A&E, Jackson held his hand. Matt turned to him and smiled. "You didn't have to do this you know"

"I know" Jackson said with a nod. "But I care..." he looked away shyly. "So...yeah, get used to it" he nudged his leg with his own.

Matt chuckled. "They've got another half hour, if I'm not seen too by then we're off"

"Try it..." Jackson warned with a glint in his eye and a warm smile.

TBC...


	42. A Good End To A Bad Day

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"A Good End To A Bad Day"

This fanfic follows** on the next morning after **_Moving On_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Jackson woke up to a aching in his heart, not too long ago, an overwhelming feeling of loss washed over him as he stared at the pillow beside him and tears fell from his eyes. He didn't want to get up, he didn't wanna do anything but lie there and cry and that's what happened, he began to sob uncontrollably and clutched onto his pillow and buried his head into it. He knew he was still grieving, Matt knew it too but somehow Jackson didn't really prepare himself for days like this, he thought the worst part was over. He sighed as he tried to calm down; obviously not. His phone beeped and he looked at it, he had a missed call from Matt and now a text, saying morning. He sighed and placed his phone back down on the side. He turned and laid on his back, staring out of the window; the blue sky, the birds tweeting, the sound of the villagers, noise from the garage; Jackson had to catch his breath as emotion overwhelmed him as he sobbed. "It's not fair" he said in between sobs.

Two hours had passed very slowly but now Jackson surfaced from his bed, wandered into the bathroom, showered, brushed his teeth and made himself smell nice. He sighed as he forced himself to move to the stairs and lazily he walked down them, he had no energy, he had no spark not today.

He flopped down onto the long sofa and put the TV on, it was almost twelve and daytime shows were in full swing. He sighed. "Oh the joys" he said with a sigh and turned the TV off again and just sat there in the silence. His phone beeped again, now the third text since Jackson last checked and he had two missed calls. He sighed again and shook his head. He really, really liked Matt and they were together and this sudden bad day had taken Jackson by surprise and he didn't know what to do or say to Matt, should he tell him? Should he just leave it and try and get through the day alone? He chose the latter; Jackson decided that Matt shouldn't get dragged down to spending time with a misery all day.

Jackson got up from the sofa after a few minutes and left the house and wandered around the garage again with no spring in his step or a smile. Cain lifted his head up from underneath a bonnet. He frowned immediately sensing Jackson's mood. "Alright mate?"

Jackson shrugged. "Ya don't mind if I just sit over here and watch do ya?"

Cain thought that weird but shook his head. "Fill ya boots"

Jackson nodded and sat on top of three old tyres that had been piled up and he looked down at his wedding ring and turned it round and round on his finger. Cain stopped what he was doing. "Brew?"

Jackson looked up. "Erm, yeah alright thanks"

Cain nodded and walked into the garage to make the tea. He came back out moments later and handed Jackson's tea over. Jackson took it gratefully and stared down into the brown liquid. "Just you today?" he asked.

"Yeah, Debbie's too busy with Sarah and Cameron well...the less I say about him the better" he scoffed. "You not working today?"

"Can't be bothered" Jackson said in a hushed tone and looked up at him with squinted eyes from the brightness of the sun.

"Today a bad day?" Cain asked.

Jackson simply nodded.

"And of all the people you could go and see or talk too, you chose me...I'm flattered"

That coaxed a smile from Jackson and he nodded. "Weird eh? I dunno I just feel alright with you l-like you won't judge or force an opinion down my throat"

Cain shook his head. "I do usually but not with you"

Jackson nodded and gave him a smile.

"So...wanna tell me what's going on in your head?" Cain asked as he sat down on the gravel in front of Jackson.

Jackson cleared his throat. "I-erm I just woke up and that ache in my chest was there, I mean its never gone but it wasn't so bad but this morning it hurt so much, and I kept looking over at the empty side of the bed and I just cried Cain, I cried and I kept crying...I got up after a few hours, thought a shower might help, get freshened up you know?"

Cain nodded as he listened intently to what Jackson had to say.

"It didn't..." he shook his head. "I can't breathe...all I think about his him" his tone pitched higher at his last few words and his lip quivered. "How much I want him here, I don't know why I came here, expecting him working" he scoffed. "How stupid is that?"

"It's not mate, I feel like that to some mornings when I walk round here...dunno why though he never made it in before me, if he did he wanted something" Cain smirked then his face turned more serious in expression. "The headstone will be up before four" he told him.

Jackson nodded. "I think that's what I need maybe"

"Somewhere to go?" Cain surmised.

Jackson nodded.

"I know what you mean mate, somewhere to go and talk to him...I mean you might anyway but this way we have something to focus on, it's his resting place...makes sense"

Jackson nodded. "Listen erm...you've probably heard no doubt, Chas must have told the entire pub so..." he flicked up his eyebrows.

"You're new man?" Cain asked. "Yeah she's been very erm...vocal about it but I understand mate so you get my approval as it were...not that you do but you know now"

Jackson nodded. "Thankyou"

"And you like him yeah?"

"So much Cain, he makes me happy and he's very easy on the eye...I dunno..." he sighed. "With this bad day just hitting me out of the blue I-I've ignored him, only because I don't want him spending time with me like this, let's face it, it wouldn't be much fun would it?"

Cain chuckled. "Probably not, but knowing you I'm guessing you'll have told him so that he knows everything and I'm assuming he's clever enough to know that the grieve won't end after a few months, even you must know that"

Jackson nodded. "I do...it will always be there, yeah in time it'll fade but it'll always be with me, missing him every single day, wishing I could tell him about my day...I could never forget him and I know you've given you're approval but I-" Jackson bowed his head as he became emotional. "I just need you to know that"

Cain got up and put his arms around him and Jackson began to cry to Cain's surprise. "It'll be okay...it will I promise..."

Jackson pulled away and nodded and mustered a smile. "Y-yeah I know" he breathed and wiped his eyes.

"Oh and do not worry about Chas alright, let me deal with her"

Jackson chuckled. "Cheers...you know Aaron might have whinged about you a lot but he loved you I could see it" Jackson nodded; he believed what he was saying.

Cain frowned and just stared at the ground. "T-The last thing he said to me was not too bad really are ya?" Cain chuckled. "I didn't appreciate those words much at the time...but now, now they mean everything to me and I loved him too, you and Aaron would have had a great life mate but now you've got a second chance at having another go with this new guy, and I hope it works for you I do...but ignoring him isn't the answer, don't shut him out, after all you know how that feels"

Jackson nodded. "I know. I know what to do now"

"So" Cain smiled. "I have my uses after all?"

Jackson smirked. "Suppose you do yeah" he said before downing the now cooler coffee and stood. "Thanks mate" he said as he handed the mug back.

Cain nodded. "No problem and remember, anytime alright?" he said with a smile. Jackson nodded and walked back round to the house feeling a little better.

When he turned the corner Matt was stood at the door step. Jackson closed his eyes briefly and sighed.

Matt saw him and his mouth fell open and he walked to him quickly. "What's going on? I've been worried sick"

Jackson nodded. "Y-Yeah...I know and I suppose I've got some explaining to do"

Matt chuckled. "Well yeah..."

"It's kinda stupid really"

Matt shrugged.

"I woke up today and I didn't wanna do anything, everything was so dark and it's not fair, I-I miss him I do...and I didn't want you to have be surrounded by my" he sighed and looked away trying to think of a word. "...my dark, the dark cloud that hung over me this morning...but I spoke to Cain...he works at the garage"

"Yeah, you've mentioned him"

"And he put things back into some kind of order in this messed up head of mine...I' am so, so sorry it wasn't you it was me, and it was because of Aaron, because he's not here anymore"

Matt nodded and placed both hands at the side of his neck. "Hey, I understand I just thought I'd done something wrong and then I started to panic, to worry about you and I would have been here sooner but work, well it's always the reason" he shrugged.

"You don't have to worry about me Matt"

"But I do" Matt stepped closer and kissed his forehead. "Next time you've just gotta talk to me and even if it means I'm here when you're having a bad day then so be it, nothing you say or do will be taken to heart"

Jackson smiled. "I'm sorry...Erm we can do something definitely...I haven't wasted all the day away I suppose"

Matt smirked as he shook his head.

"But before we do, I need to pop out for half an hour or so at about four"

"How come?"

Jackson looked away and sighed quietly. "The headstone is getting put up today"

"Oh okay...well I can go with you but I'll wait at the church?" he offered.

Jackson looked up at him. "Really?"

Matt laughed. "You really need to stop acting so surprised by my kindness, I'm just like that Jackson and I-I'd do anything for you"

Jackson smiled and leaned in and kissed him passionately on his lips. "Thank you" he whispered.

A few hours later Matt and Jackson stood at the church. "You'll be okay?"

Jackson smiled. "Y-yeah how hard can it be right?"

Matt just smiled, he didn't answer but he knew how hard it would be and Jackson needed to find out himself. "I'll be right here"

Jackson stepped away and walked along and into the cemetery. He stopped at Aaron's grave moments later, where several bunch of flowers had been laid. Jackson had not turned his eyes on the silver marble gravestone. He took a breath and slowly turned to face it. His heart sank and he slowly knelt down in front of it. Jackson examined every inch of it; he smiled at the picture of his husband in the oval space in the centre at the top above the engravings. He looked so handsome in the photo. Chas had chosen the picture from his and Jackson's honeymoon from the balcony with the sunset in the background, obviously it had to be cropped but the happiness and sparkle in Aaron's eyes could be seen. Then he read the engravings. _**Aaron Livesy, 5**__**th**__** January 1992-7**__**th**__** June 2011, Beautiful Son & Adoring Husband, You will never be forgotten, our love always x **_

Jackson shed several tears at those words. "Too right, you will always have my love...I want you to know how grateful I' am to you for coming back to me and showing me that I could move on and I have but I'm fine with it because I know I could never forget you" Jackson smiled. "You were my whole world Aaron and wherever I am, or wherever I go...wherever I'll end up you will always be with me, you were the love of my life, and m-maybe Matt could be too but it would be on a totally different level" he smiled. "I miss you so much Aaron, you and Clyde better be looking out for each other, I'll be back soon" He kissed his fingers and placed them on the image of Aaron and slowly stood up and was faced with Chas. Jackson sighed and walked past her.

"Jackson please, I wanna talk"

He stopped and turned to face her.

"Cain had a right go at me before and then out there I saw your boyfriend...it never occurred to me that you would have told him everything but I guess you have"

Jackson nodded.

Chas looked away as she felt a lump in her throat. "I-I realised that he must mean a lot to you if you've told him about Aaron and your history...and that way I know it's not just a rebound or something stupid like I've told you it is...and I'm sorry because I shouldn't have done that"

Jackson stepped forward with his arms out. "Hey" he soothed her as she began to get upset. "It's alright Chas"

Chas shook her head quickly. "It's not because I was so nasty to you about all of this and I know that you'll never forget him...I heard what you just said...I didn't mean too"

Jackson nodded, he understood.

"You're like a second son to me Jackson and while you don't need my approval..." she sighed. "But the way I've been lately I'm giving it to you, I want you to be happy, I want to see you smiling again and if that's with Matt or any other man then do it, be happy nobody will stand in your way, certainly not me. Aaron will always be there" she placed her hand on her heart and Jackson nodded with tears in his eyes. "Always" he added.

Chas nodded. "Good" she struggled again as more tears rose to the surface. "Go and be with him Jackson" she smiled.

Jackson couldn't compose himself any longer and he held his head in his hands and sobbed, Chas quickly moved closer and hugged him tightly. "Thank you" Jackson sobbed.

Chas nodded. "I love you Jackson" she whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek, then stepped back. "Go on" she said with a smile.

Jackson nodded and wiped his eyes as he walked away, back to Matt.


	43. When It Takes Over

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"When It Takes Over"

This fanfic follows** on a few weeks after **_Moving On_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_**This chapter is rated M for sexual content! My first chapter involving it! You have been warned! **_

_..._

It had been just over two weeks since Chas had given Jackson approval to see Matt. Over the weeks the two men had grew even closer and spent every minute they could together. Matt had stayed at Dale head with his boyfriend nearly every night since that day everything seemed to fall in place. Jackson smiled at Matt as he walked into the kitchen; he opened the fridge, frowned then opened a few cupboards. "Erm! We have a problem!" he called to him.

"Oh yeah like what?" Matt asked from the living room.

"We need to go shopping, you've eaten the cupboards and fridge bare, and god knows how when you still look like that" he replied matter of factly.

Matt leaned against the wall with folded arms as he popped his head around the kitchen. "Look like what?" he smirked.

"Oh come on" Jackson threw his head back in disbelief. "I've seen you getting out of the shower and don't forget that we sleep together nearly every night and I feel your body, so ripped and so...tough" Jackson sighed, content at the thought.

"Yeah but I work out, but even before I started bulking up I could eat anything and not put anything on"

"Aaron was like that" Jackson nodded.

"See and he was still fit" Matt raised an eyebrow. "So this means we have to do our first big shop?" he rubbed his hands in excitement.

Jackson let out a laugh. "Yeah but you're driving"

Matt nodded. "This should be fun" he smirked as he grabbed his car keys from the dining table and headed for the door.

...

As they walked around the supermarket Matt pushed the trolley and Jackson walked close beside him, they'd picked up and put a few general things in the trolley. They now turned the corner to the confectionary aisle. Jackson liked this one better, reminded him of being a kid when he went shopping with his mum. He walked ahead in front of Matt quickly scanning the aisle; he picked up several bars of chocolate, bags of jellies, biscuits and a few multipack bags of crisps and dumped them in the trolley. Matt watched with a raised eyebrow completely astonished. "Do you actually want a heart attack?"

Jackson pouted and shook his head.

Matt picked out all but a few things, he left the crisps but put back a few chocolate bars only leaving one. Jackson gasped. "Put them back right now"

Matt smirked with a playful glare in his eyes. "Excuse me?"

Jackson rushed over to him. "No!" he gasped and reached for the sweets in a light blue packet. "I'm keeping these"

Matt's frown deepened and he laughed. "Flying saucers" he stated.

"Are the business!" Jackson said proudly and dropped them into the trolley. "And then there's bear the gum" he smiled

Matt shook his head confused. "Gummy bears" he corrected him.

Jackson shrugged and smirked as he watched him pick up a bar of fruit and nut. "Erm...you just said"

"Yeah I did...but I'm allowed one thing surely"

Jackson nodded. "That's fine but if you think you're snogging me after you've eaten that you are mistaken"

"Not a fan then?"

"Nope" Jackson shook his head and continued down the aisle. Matt watched him go admiring his firm back and amazing backside. He then sighed and looked down at the floor; there were a few things on his mind that had to be brought up.

Matt caught up with Jackson around the next aisle where all the tinned products were. "Hey, listen erm..." he frowned. "The sofa bed at yours is great and everything but I was just wondering when or if we'll be sleeping in" he sighed, wishing he hadn't brought it up. "You're bed" he said in a quieter tone with closed eyes. Jackson turned and put some tins in the trolley and looked at him. Jackson thought for a second. "I-I'm not sure..." he sighed.

"No" Matt shook his head. "I shouldn't have said that, forget it" he flashed a smile. "Let's just get this shopping and get back eh?" he smiled again and continued moving without waiting for a reply.

...

The car journey back was awkward but once they'd brought all the shopping in Jackson stopped Matt from starting to pack away everything by grabbing his arm gently. Matt looked up at him, all his attention on Jackson now.

"Listen...I-I-uh...I'm sorry" he breathed heavily. "It's just a bed" he said as he spoke with his hands. "It is and I know that but it's not just any bed..."

Matt nodded, understanding.

"But what I feel for you is overwhelming and I'd do anything for you and if I don't try then I won't know...so tonight...w-we can sleep upstairs"

Matt stepped closer with his hands up, palms facing Jackson. "I didn't bring it up to pressure you Jackson I just thought it might be nice maybe you know?"

Jackson nodded. "You haven't" he shook his head. "You just gave me a kick up the arse that's all...we've been together a while now, things have moved fast which are fine" he smiled. "By the way but...we should do this, how hard can it be it's just a bed"

"But it was Aaron's... Jackson aswell"

Jackson looked away then back at him, chewing his bottom lip as he thought. "And I want it to be yours now too"

Matt nodded and hugged him tightly.

...

A few hours later, both men were lying on the sofa together, Jackson's body reacted to Matt's closeness; he blushed and kissed his neck slowly then moved round to his lips, kissing softly, then more passionately. As they shared their steamy kiss Matt tugged at Jackson's jeans.

"What?" Jackson whispered in between kisses. "What you doing?" he asked.

"Shh, no one's going to come...well" he smirked. "I'm hoping you will"

Jackson just smiled, they had done everything but sex and he loved how spontaneous it was. Matt twisted himself away from the side of Jackson and rested above him, Matt's hands ventured underneath Jackson's t-shirt encountering the familiar smooth touch of his skin and the rippled muscles in his stomach. Matt lay now on top of him feeling the hardness of Jackson's length pressing against his own within his jeans. He kissed his neck which Jackson groaned in response, his hands roamed Matt's body feeling all around his back, then his chest and stomach. Matt kissed him hard and fast then bit and tugged at his lip which Jackson loved. Matt's lips were demanding, firm but slow, moulding Jackson's lips with his, Jackson could feel Matt unbuttoning his jeans and he lifted himself up so that Matt could pull the material away from his backside, while still locked in a passionate embrace with his boyfriend.

Matt broke the kiss and smiled at his while biting his own bottom lip as he pushed Jackson's jeans down to his ankles then off him completely. He then turned to his own clothes and ripped off his t-shirt, revealing his bulky physique. Jackson's breath was taken, he couldn't breathe, Matt was perfection and he couldn't ever let go of him. Jackson rubbed himself as he waited, waiting for Matt to remove his clothes. Once he had both men groaned at the satisfying sensation from both naked bodies pressed against each other. Matt began to grind against Jacksons length as he kissed, sucked and bit his neck; he loved making Jackson moan in pleasure. Abruptly though, Matt kissed his neck, then lower and lower until he reached his groin where his length was erect and almost reaching his belly button.

Matt cupped Jackson's balls in one hand as he held his cock in his hand and swiped his tongue across the slit; he looked up at Jackson with a cheeky grin.

"You are such a tease" Jackson breathed.

"Yeah well you haven't complained yet" he said as he began to thrust his hand all the way, up and down his shaft.

Jackson arched his head back into the sofa his breathing slow. "And I'm never going too" he told him breathlessly. Then in one slow exaggerated movement, Jackson could feel the warmth moist of Matt's mouth surround his cock. Matt took it all the way into his mouth slowly; Jackson's groans were louder now. Matt jerked his own length as he pleasured Jackson. He lifted his head back up. His cock now wet, Matt gripped his hand around it and in perfect rhythm he sucked at tugged at it seamlessly.

Jackson's chest rose fast and his moans were even louder, he felt light, Matt wasn't going to stop he didn't want him too. He could feel it. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed. The pearly white liquid filled Matt's mouth, he swallowed Jackson. "Mmm" he groaned at the taste of him. He slowly moved up the sofa, his legs either side of Jackson's chest. "You want it?"

Jackson gazed into his eyes and nodded as he ran his hands up and down Matt's legs and round to his buttocks and squeezed hard. Matt let his head fall back as he panted hard, his chest rising quickly with each breath. Jackson knew he was close, he lifted onto his elbows slightly and took Matt's thick, veiny cut cock into his mouth and waited...waited for the eruption and it came, it filled his mouth in several thick bursts, Jackson groaned he wasn't pulling away, he wanted it all, he needed it. He swallowed Matt and sucked hard on the slowly descending length that was within his mouth.

Jackson lay back down and Matt fell onto him. Jackson chuckled and wrapped his arms around him tightly as he kissed his neck.

...

Matt and Jackson walked up the village to the pub hand in hand stealing occasional glances at each other with warm smiles on their faces. Upon entering the pub they could hear the usual banter and laughter that usually took place in a pub. It was only Matt's third visit since Chas' approval. They'd talked a little and got on but Matt had kept things to a minimum maybe that would change, he was going to try tonight to get to know her a bit more.

Chas smiled when they walked in, then her smile grew wider when she saw the cheeky blushing smile on Jackson's face. "Oh aye what's up with you?"

Jackson shrugged. "Nothing...nothing just erm" he cleared his throat, he'd cleaned his mouth but yet he could still taste him and it was very, very distracting. "Two pints when you're ready please Chas"

Matt nudged his side playfully and Jackson turned with narrowed eyes, almost giggling in fact. "Stop!"

Matt chuckled too. "Oh look my fancy woman"

Jackson frowned. "My mum?"

Matt nodded as Hazel waved at him, he waved back. Jackson chuckled. "She wishes...anyway get those will ya just gunna nip over and say hi"

Matt nodded and kissed him on the lips before he walked over. He then turned to face the bar again where Chas was pouring their pints, he smiled at her then a conversation started and seemed to flow.

"So, how are you and him?" Hazel asked her son.

Jackson beamed. "We're great, he's unofficially, sort of-" he sighed as he thought about it. "Kind of moved in"

Hazel couldn't help but smirk at him; she knew what was coming soon. "I kinda guessed that love, his car is outside that house every morning and again every evening, it has been for the last few weeks" she told him.

Jackson sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I-I think I love him" he admitted.

...

At the bar a shocked expression fell upon Chas as she stared right at Matt. "L-L" she stuttered. "Love him?" she gasped.

Matt didn't know what to do he was simply stood nodding with a half smile on his face wary of her reaction.

Her shocked expression faded, and tears overwhelmed her and she nodded with a smile. "Good" she told him.

"I-I know it might seem sudden..."

Chas cut him off. "Hey" she shook her head. "There's no time on love...when it happens it just does, keep making him happy Matt, I mean that"

Matt nodded with a smile. "I just hope he feels the same when I tell him"

Chas looked over at Jackson who was sat with his back towards them. "He will" she nodded. "These are on me don't worry about it alright...go on" she smiled. "Just yell when you want a refill, it's hardly busy in here"

Matt nodded and walked over to the table with their pints. "So, what you been talking about then?"

Hazel sighed and shrugged, a loving look aimed at Jackson, she was proud of him for his admission to her moments earlier and she supported him too. "Nothing really, I don't know how you cope, he's boring" she joked.

Matt placed his arm around him and pulled him in close. "He could never be boring to me"

Hazel caught Jackson's eye and gave him a wink.

Jackson smiled and turned and looked into Matt's eyes. "You better mean that or you'll get a slap when we're back home"

Matt chuckled. "I'd never lie to you babe"

Jackson smiled, and with a slight nod he picked up his pint and took a long sup of the amber liquid – he needed it. Now what was he going to do? When would be the right time to tell him? The same thoughts ran around Matt's head. He sighed ever so slightly and took a long sup of his pint too.

Hazel smiled as she watched them. She missed Aaron immensely but Matt was looking after her boy now and she couldn't have asked for anyone better.

TBC...


	44. A Bad End To A Good Night

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"A Bad End To A Good Night"

This fanfic follows** on immediately after **_When It Takes Over_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Hazel left the boys alone while she walked up to the bar to get some more drinks for herself and them. She stood at the bar with a smile on her face, and then noticed the look on Chas' face. "You look a bit shocked what's up?"

Chas motioned her head to the small corridor between the bar and the back room. Hazel pouted as she made her way round curiously. They stood opposite each other out of sight. "Well...I just heard something interesting from Matt..."

Hazel nodded "Right, go on then"

Chas took a breath. "H-he said he thinks he loves Jackson" As soon as those words left her mouth both women welled up.

"Ohh god look at the pair of us what we like" Hazel said as she composed herself and wiped her eyes.

Chas nodded but continued to get upset. Hazel frowned and placed her hand on her arm and rubbed it softly. "Hey, it's alright Chas"

Chas nodded as she sniffled. "I know, I know...it's just Aaron you know..." she forced a smile. "He'd be so happy to have heard that"

Hazel smiled sympathetically. "He'll have heard it, I'm sure of it" she nodded.

Chas smiled. "I hope so"

Hazel took a breath. "Jackson told me the same"

Chas' eyes widened. "Really?"

Hazel nodded excitedly. "Yeah. Men! What they like eh?"

Chas let out a laugh and nodded. "Well at least now Matt will get the response he wants whenever he decides to tell him, he was a bit worried"

...

"So..." Jackson said as the boys talked. "Can I expect some more of that" he smirked. "Later?"

Matt grinned. "Anytime you want" he leaned in and kissed him passionately, his tongue forcing itself upon Jackson's, rubbing, embracing fighting for dominance.

The kiss was broken when Jackson felt a hand slap his head. "Oww!" he frowned and spun round to see Cain smirking.

"Get a room you two!"

Jackson and Matt laughed. "Can I get you a drink?" Matt asked.

Cain shook his head. "No you're alright mate, cheers though..."

"Oh erm before you go to the bar...you seen Adam around lately?" Jackson asked with a hint of concern in his tone.

Cain pouted. "Erm come to think of it no, John was round the other day with the quad, started grumbling on about how he was really worried about him"

Jackson looked away his eyes revealing his own concern. He looked up at Matt. "D-Do you mind if I nip out for a bit? He was Aaron's best mate...I've abandoned him" he looked sad. "I shouldn't have done that"

Cain scoffed. "Chill out mate he'll be fine"

Jackson frowned at him. "Really? You didn't see the state he was in the times I saw him"

"No, Jackson course I don't, you want me to come?" Matt asked as Cain rolled his eyes and walked to the bar. "Anyone serving or what!" he yelled.

"No, no...I'll be alright...he might still be a bit unhappy about us, I don't want it to make him worse"

Matt smiled. "I understand, go...and be careful"

Jackson smiled and leaned into him and kissed him quickly. "I'll try not to be long" he said as he grabbed his jacket and stood.

Matt took hold of his hand. "No worries gorgeous, I'll be alright with your mum"

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah...Oi mum!" he called to her as he saw her and Chas walking into the bar.

"Don't Oi me young man" she smirked.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Listen I've gotta nip out, look after him" he gave her a glare, a silent message that she would understand.

Hazel nodded. "Course I will"

"Good" Jackson replied and he smiled and Matt and Matt reciprocated as he let go of his hand and watched his boyfriend leave.

...

Jackson had to admit, the farm was creepy at night it send shudders throughout his body. He saw the lights of the house but before that he saw a low light shining out from inside a barn. He frowned and walked over.

He stopped at the open entrance; Adam was sitting on a square bale of hay with his back facing him.

Adam was sweating, a sign of relief washed over his eyes and expressions in general, and his breathing calm.

"Adam..." Jackson spoke quietly trying not to startle him.

Adam jumped and the pang of something metallic hit the floor and echoed through the barn. He swallowed hard and turned round seeing Jackson standing several metres away.

Jackson frowned and walked in quickly. "What was that Adam?"

Adam shook his head. "N-N-Nothing" he told him awkwardly.

Jackson now stood in front of him looking down at him intently; he was holding his coat tightly around him, staring down at the floor where Jackson was stood.

"Adam...you're scaring me mate" Jackson said in a whispered tone.

Adam shrugged and then Jackson followed his eye line. There was nothing on the floor, but then he raised an eyebrow and moved his foot. "Oh Jesus Adam" he covered his mouth at the sight of the small blood stained razor blade.

Adam began to cry and held his head in his hands. Jackson knelt down in front of him and opened out his coat and saw the large stain of blood on his t-shirt. Jackson swallowed hard. "It's alright mate" he soothed as Adam sobbed. He reached out and lifted his t-shirt up and saw healing scars near this new split on his flesh that was seeping blood. He looked up at Adam still sobbing. "Why?"

Adam simply just shrugged.

Jackson became angry and pulled his hands away from his face and held his wrists tightly. "Why!" he demanded angrily as he shook him slightly, the veins in his neck bulging at the intensity of his emotions.

Adam caught his breath. "I dunno...I just" he sighed. "It hurts so much Jackson...he was my best friend" Adam closed his eyes and tears dropped from his eyes. "And i don't mean just like a friend I mean the real deal you know? We told each other everything, we were there for each other and now he's gone and it's not fair" he told him as his shoulders jerked up and down. "It's not fair, I miss him so much"

"I know" Jackson nodded. "I know" he told him quickly and hugged him. "So do I" he pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Every second and I'm sorry, I' am" he nodded. "Me and Matt..." he trailed off and looked away.

Adam wiped his eyes. "No, you don't need to be Jackson, I understand now I do, please believe me"

Jackson looked back at him and nodded.

"It was just hard to see that's all"

"I know but it just happened and when you get to know him you'll like him"

"I don't want too" Adam looked down at the floor, his lips quivering.

"Why not mate?" he asked softly.

"B-Because I don't wanna make new friends" he admitted.

"Aww mate, Aaron would never have wanted this"

"I can't help it"

"You can, you knew Aaron as well as I did...and you know he would want you to keep going, make friends, he'd never begrudge you of that"

"Then why do I feel so horrible and guilty at the thought of it?" Adam asked as he looked into Jackson's eyes.

Jackson shrugged. "I don't know mate, the grief I guess and, and that" he pointed at the bloodied wound Adam had inflicted on himself. "That's grief too, but it has to STOP, do you understand? If you don't I'll tell your mum and dad" Jackson sighed, making a decision. "But if you do...right now! It'll stay between me and you. Decision time...what is it?"

...

A rather drunk Hazel was leaning into Matt chatting away; she'd bent his ear ever since Jackson had left. But there was one question that he showed interest in. He pouted as he thought. "What do I love about your son? Hmm..." he then frowned. "Hang on a minute...Chas?"

Hazel grinned and nodded. Matt chuckled. "Alright...I love how he looks, he's so gorgeous, I love his smile, his deep dark brown eyes, his sense of humour, his smell...how he somehow manages to get up every morning after what happened to Aaron, I love his strength his bravery and courage...he is a beautiful person and I do" Matt nodded. "I love him" he smiled. "And I know Aaron will always be an invisible force in our relationship but I don't mind one bit, I've come to admire Aaron...I wished I'd had the chance to meet him"

"Ohh love...I've never heard something so beautiful in my life" Hazel almost became tearful.

Matt shrugged with a smile. "Just the truth" In that instant the pub fell into darkness. "Ohhh you've got to be kidding me!" came Chas' voice over the silence that had befallen the pub. "Sorry guys, been waiting for this to be fixed, first time it's happened while we've been open, I'm really sorry but I'll have to ask you all to leave, I'm sorry guys, free drinks once we're up and running again"

"Oh well" Hazel found Matt's hand in the darkness. "Better take me home"

A light shone on the bar area from a torch that Chas had found under the bar. "Best I can do...get home safe!"

"I will" Cain grinned.

"Oh shut up you, I know you will, but Pearl and Alan and the others, you knew who I meant"

Cain tutted. "And here's me thinking you cared"

"Yeah well..." she said seriously then smirked.

Outside all the villagers headed to their homes. Matt walked Hazel back to Bob's. Chas sighed as she locked up and walked around the bar again and the power kicked back on as she headed upstairs to bed. "Bloody typical" she turned around and went back downstairs to turn out all the lights, she'd clean up in the morning. She headed back upstairs unaware to her the fuse box began to smoke...

...

Jackson and Adam had been in silence for quite a while after Adam had told him he would stop harming himself. "D-Do you wanna stay at mine?" Jackson asked.

Adam shook his head and smirked. "No-No mate it's fine...I'll stay here...sort this cut out...it helps at first you know"

Jackson nodded. "At first" he pointed out Adam's own words back to him. "But it's not the answer"

"I know...I-I might tell my dad, he can help...my mum...it-it would destroy her"

Jackson nodded. "Whatever you want mate...It's really late and I hate to leave you like this but I'll see you tomorrow alright?"

Adam nodded and smiled. "I'm so sorry Jackson, for this and for ruining your night"

"I just came to sort out a mate who's really hurting...see you tomorrow mate" he turned and left.

...

Flames were in full swing downstairs in the corridor to the between the back room and bar where the fuse box was and they were burning, destroying everything in their path and smoke began to rise up through the building to upstairs. Chas was asleep.

The walk back to the village was long and cold, very cold against his body. He was pleased when he walked back into the lights of the village. He sniffed and then frowned as he looked around. His eyes widened in horror at the blacked out pub with only an orange flickering hue of light in the windows. He checked his watch as he ran, it was closed now, and it was after midnight.

If his hand hadn't caught the handle to Dale head's front door at the right time, he would have smashed through it the speed he was running. "Matt! Matt!"

Matt ran down the stairs in a panic. "Whoa what? You okay?"

Jackson tried to catch his breath. "T-The pub..." he breathed. "It's on fire!"

"What!" he hurried down the rest of the stairs and out of the house, he ran across the road and looked up. "Oh shit!" Matt exclaimed. "Jackson...my phone in there...look in contacts for the station...tell them who you are, I've told them about you, tell them what's going on...and they'll come" he told him quickly then ran up to the pub.

Jackson watched in horror. "Matt! No! Don't you dare!" he called after him but it wasn't answered. He slammed his hand against the door frame and ran into the living room and grabbed Matt's phone and called the station.

TBC...


	45. Inferno

– AARON & JACKSON –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Inferno"

This fanfic follows** on immediately after **_A Bad End To A Good Night_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Jackson threw Matt's phone down after calling the station, they were on their way. Once outside a few sleepy villagers had been woken from Matt shouting to him across the street, but it obviously hadn't taken them long to realise what was happening. Jackson ran up after Matt but Cain quickly saw him and grabbed his arm. "No!"

Jackson was taken over by a burst of love "Get off!" he yelled and pulled away from Cain harshly and carried on running to the pub. Cain sighed and followed him.

Matt tried kicking open the door, but it was big and bulky, he was having no luck. He sighed and ran around the back.

"Matt!" Jackson yelled as he reached the pub, he wasn't outside, Jackson then quickly ran around the back.

Matt was kicking the door again hard with all the force and strength he could muster.

"Matt!" Jackson yelled as he saw him, then he ran to him.

Smoke was rising from the pub, Matt was breathless and sweating from trying to kick the door down, and he acknowledged Jackson then ran and picked up an empty barrel. "There's no time Jackson..." he sighed. "Who is in there?" he asked and waited a few seconds. "Come on quick!"

Jackson tried to think. "Er-er...Diane's away...err...Victoria is with Alex...it...it's just Chas..." he fell to his knees. "Oh god"

"Listen to me alright..." Matt stepped over to him and kneeled down cupping his cheek in his hand. "I'm going to get her out but I need..." he took a breath taking a look at him – just in case. "I need you to stay right here, promise me"

"But-"

Matt cut him off. "Jackson, promise me!" he urged.

Jackson nodded. "Alright, good" he leaned in and kissed him passionately. He stood up and stepped away keeping his eyes on him. "I-I love you" he told him. "I know right!" he smirked seeing the shocked look on Jackson's face. "Not the moment I wanted either but I need you to know" the look in his eyes showing and meaning what he'd just said.

Jackson was stunned; he didn't know what to do. Seconds later a crashing sound and the bright light of flames escaping the pub knocked him out of his shock as Matt burst the back door open with the help of a beer barrel.

Cain and David ran around the back seeing Jackson stood still. "What the hell's he doing?!" Cain demanded, Jackson just looked at him.

"He's a fire-fighter Cain" David reminded him.

Cain sighed and looked at David. "With no protective clothing or gear!"

"Oh..." David didn't know about that. In the distance the sirens could be heard as the fire engines quickly made their way to the village.

...

Smoke engulfed him. The heat stung him. He had his thin t-shirt over his mouth; it wouldn't help, well maybe for a little while. He couldn't see properly, he coughed harshly as he saw the outline of the banister despite it and the walls around it being on fire. Matt was used to this, but without the right clothing or equipment it made it a million times worse.

He looked up the stairs. "CHAS!" he yelled. "CHAS YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!" he screamed. He looked at the stairs, analysing them, they didn't look like they would support him. He sighed. He had too, he coughed harshly again as the smoke infiltrated his lungs and the heat burnt them. He made a run for it, his feet pounded on the stairs as he made his way up, halfway though it felt different, his eyes widened and he quickly jumped for the landing, and the top five stairs shattered to the void beneath the staircase. Matt screamed out loud as the heat from the floor singed his arms on impact. He winced in pain as he stood to his feet. He couldn't hear anything but the crackling and popping of the flames. "Cha-" he coughed again, this time bringing him to his knees.

Matt's breathing was short and he could feel the sweat covering every inch of his body. He forced himself up and kicked open a door, he sighed, it was the bathroom. He turned and saw the flames quickly following him. He turned back to the doors, and kicked one open, he looked inside the smoke filled room, that bedroom was empty; it had to be the next one. He kicked that open too and rushed in, he immediately saw Chas lying asleep in bed, but the smoke...the smoke was the problem. He coughed again, and he ran to the window and smashed it open with his elbow, he looked down and saw two fire engines outside, and fire-fighters, his colleagues. "Hey!" he yelled down. "Ge-" he coughed again but he had their attention and they rallied around and climbed on top of one engine to raise the ladder. "I need some help here"

"Matt!" he heard his name being called out by the familiar voice of his friend Sam inside the pub.

"Yeah!" he called as he rushed back to the doorway, the flames inching closer.

"You need to get out of here this whole place could go any minute!" Sam told him.

"I will once I get her out!"

"Jesus Matt!" Sam growled.

"Just go! They're getting the ladder...I-" he coughed aggressively again. "I'll be alright!"

"Yeah you will be! We've got that darts game tomorrow!" he called, both friends smiled despite not seeing each other.

Screams from outside caught his attention as the windows downstairs exploded as the flames raged high enough to the spirits hanging up on the bar, each one popping one by one, a chain reaction as an ultimate explosion blew out the windows and flames raged free into the night air.

Matt fell to the ground from the sheer blast of the explosion. He breathed heavily. He closed his eyes. _It'll be fine; it'll be fine _he repeated to himself.

"Matt!" Sam yelled to him. "I'll be outside waiting for ya mate...don't do anything stupid!" he warned him before he ran out and made his way round to the main street.

Matt opened his eyes, grateful that he was okay. He got up and smashed open the window some more giving him enough room to get Chas out. He looked out; he saw the ladder a few metres. He turned to the bed and pulled her out and put her over his shoulder. "You'll be alright!" he told her, despite her being unconscious.

Flood and floods of water were aimed into the ground floor of the pub through the broken windows. Jackson stood numb, frozen, tears streaming down his face; he then felt an arm around him. It was Adam. Jackson frowned. "What are you-?"

"We saw the fire...I couldn't stay at home...not knowing what was happening..."

Jackson crumbled. "Matt's inside" he cried.

Adam's eyes widened. "You what?"

"He went in to get Chas...I heard him shouting before but...there's not been anything..." he shook his head as Adam supported and comforted him.

"He'll be alright mate, he will"

Both lads turned when more sirens swooped down and came to a halt outside the pub, two ambulances, ready and waiting.

...

Flames had reached the bedroom, they were fast! Matt began to panic; his boss was stood motioning Matt to hand her over. He nodded and quickly but carefully pushed her out of the window to the arms of his boss.

Sighs of relief from onlookers filled the air as they saw Chas being brought to safety.

"Mate...now you...I'll head down, you know the drill, follow..." his boss gave him a look.

Matt nodded but then frowned, he swore he heard a voice, he stepped back, trying to listen. As he turned back the flames had circled round to the window and a deafening noise caused him to duck for cover as the glass was smashed outwards and more flames flickered eagerly into the night air.

Sam swallowed hard as he heard a crashing noise from inside, he and several of his colleagues rushed round the back.

Jackson held his hands over his mouth as the tears kept flowing.

Matt felt the floor crumble beneath him and he fell, fell with the debris beneath him landing hard into the passage area. He screamed in pain from a crack in his leg and something impaled into his stomach. He looked around, breathing hard, struggling, he tried to get up but his leg was broken. His vision began to blur, the bright orange light of the fire seemed to burn out for him at least as everything around him went black. His body shut down.

Sam stopped at the doorway; he saw piles of rubble, charred floorboards and Matt – Matt lying awkwardly on top of it. "Matt!" he yelled. There was no response. Sam and the others ran in to get him, despite the flames easing in the bar area, they were still in full swing in this area and upstairs. "On three" Sam said. "One, two...three" all three men lifted Matt off the rubble and turned him over, a hole about an inch wide bled quickly from his stomach. Sam panicked, the next decision didn't need to be said and they all quickly left the building and ran around to the paramedics.

Jackson saw them running holding Matt. He ran over. "What? What happened? Is he okay?" Jackson asked quickly as he stared at the dripping wet, soot covered, bloodied unconscious form of his lover in their arms.

"You, your Jackson right?" Sam asked in a calming tone.

Jackson nodded.

"Right good...we have to get him to the ambulance, I'm sure they'll let you go but just please...give us space"

Jackson nodded and stepped back watching them go. Adam placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "He'll be alright"

"What if he's not?" Jackson asked.

"Don't think like that mate, Chas will be too"

Jackson nodded. "Thanks...thanks for being here"

Adam smiled slightly. "What mates are for..."

TBC...


	46. You've Got Me

JACKSON LIVESY –

– BORN AGAIN–

"You've Got Me"

This fanfic follows** the following morning after **_Inferno_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Matt lay unconscious on a bed in a cold, neutral room with the doctors monitoring him closely. Upon arrival he was rushed to theatre to stop the bleeding from the injury he'd gotten after falling through the floor onto a pile of debris. He'd been unconscious for nearly nine hours; it was almost eleven in the morning now.

Jackson was sat resting his head against the wall behind him with his arms folded across his chest. Adam turned and smiled at him. "He'll be okay mate" he reassured him.

"I hope so" he nodded. "But you heard what they said" he sighed.

Adam frowned. "And it was good news, they stopped the bleeding from his injury and have stitched it, and they are clearing out his lungs while he's unconscious"

"The burns Adam, the cuts, the bruises...he won't be okay..." Jackson sighed as he raised his hands up and rubbed his face slowly. He sighed louder. "I'm tired"

"He'll be fine, he's got you for support" Adam placed his hand on his arm and squeezed lightly. "Yeah I know you are, but you ignored my advice when I told you to rest" he smirked.

Jackson flicked his eyebrows quickly. "Yeah well, I can't sleep now can I? He could wake up any minute" Silence fell upon them for a few minutes until Jackson spoke again. "What was he thinking?" he flung out his arms in a clueless manner.

"He was doing his job...and before you jump down my throat I know he was off duty but it's in his nature to help people, and Chas needed his help mate, he did what was right"

Jackson nodded. "I-I know, I know that" he replied as he recounted his conversation about always wanting to keep people safe. "Doesn't make me feel any better, I stood outside that pub and I just watched, I should have went in there despite what he said!" he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Yeah! And what might have happened if you did. You could be dead now, or in a worse situation that Matt is right now. Jackson"

Jackson turned and looked into his eyes.

"You can't think like that"

Jackson nodded and looked away again.

...

In a room just down the corridor, Chas began to stir. "A-Aaron?"

Cain frowned and jumped up and was at her side immediately. "Sis. It's me Cain...you're in hospital" he explained and saw the realisation on her face that Aaron was no longer with them.

Chas frowned at him. "W-Wha" she coughed hard. "What happened?"

Cain sighed and averted his eyes away from hers, he sighed. "The pub it erm...it caught on fire"

Chas' frown deepened and she started to panic and push herself up in the bed. "What? No...No...There was no fire when I went to bed, Cain...no..." he shook her head adamantly.

"Chas there was, the place was a mess...I haven't been home since you were brought in...But it's destroyed, it can get back to how it was, better even but..." Cain shook his head.

Chas caught her breath. "It won't be the same" she cried. "W-Was it my fault?"

Cain took her hand and squeezed. "No, the investigation teams will be looking now probably but it won't be you Chas, you've done nothing wrong"

Chas nodded and rested down onto her pillow. "How did I get out?"

"Matt he erm..."

"What! He's ok isn't he?" Panic rising in her tone.

"He's in intensive care, he's in a bad way Chas, the floor fell through after he got you out, he's burnt badly...got impaled by something but apparently that's sorted, he's still unconscious...just a waiting game now"

Chas covered her face with her hands and sobbed. "Poor Jackson"

Cain hugged her. "He's alright, he's got Adam, I've seen him too he knows where I' am if he wants anything, you just need to rest alright" he soothed.

Chas calmed herself and nodded.

...

Jackson followed one of the nurses quickly down the corridor after being told Matt had woken up. The nurse stopped and opened the door for him and left him too it. Jackson took a breath as he walked in, his eyes filled with tears instantly at the sight of the man he loved lying on a hospital bed with his broken leg suspended, tubes and wires attached to his body, the harsh bruises from the trauma his body endured, the cling film wrapped around the arms to protect the burns he's suffered. His arms weren't the only places though his forehead, neck, chest, sides and stomach. Jackson's eyes filled with tears while Matt just smiled lovingly at him.

Matt swallowed hard and winced, it hurt badly from the heat burning his throat. "I-I'm alright" he told him, his tone raspy.

Jackson shook his head as he walked over to the bedside and took his hand. "No..." he shook his head. "No you're not" he sobbed and the tears fell one by one.

"Alright..." he agreed. "But I will be" he added.

"I-I thought..." he hit the bed in sadness. "I couldn't have gone through it again" he turned away and paced the room his hands clasped together, the tips of his fingers pushing against his lips as the tears fell.

"Jackson..." Matt called.

His voice really was in a bad way and Jackson could hear the pain he was in even speaking. He turned back and walked to him, he watched as Matt grabbed his hand. "I love you, I meant it then" he now became emotional as his eyes filled to the brim. "And I mean it now, I mean it, I love you Jackson Livesy, I'm not going anywhere" he told him with a soft smile.

Jackson sobbed some more and he dropped onto the seat beside the bed. "I love you too" he cried and rested his head gently onto Matt's chest, fortunately an area where no burns had been inflicted.

Matt rested his head back and put his arm around him. He breathed out slowly. "I just did what I had to do"

Jackson nodded. "I know"

"Is Chas okay?" he asked.

Jackson smiled. "Thanks to you she's just got a really bad cough"

"Good...well" he frowned. "It's not but you know what I mean"

Jackson nodded and smiled at him as he wiped his eyes. "Will they um...scar?"

Matt shrugged. "The doctors said they'd do everything they could to minimise them so hopefully I won't look too ugly"

Jackson frowned. "I don't wanna hear you say that again, alright? You'll never be ugly to me. Never"

Matt saw the authority and love in his eyes as he spoke. He simply nodded back and turned and looked straight ahead.

"Do you remember much babe?" Jackson asked and he waited for his answer.

Matt pouted as he thought, then he nodded. "Everything" he said slowly and turned and faced Jackson and shrugged.

Jackson faltered, his expression saddened just that little more and he got to his feet and leaned over and kissed his head softly. "You've got me" he whispered.

Matt forced a smile. "And you're all I need" his words were true but his feelings over his situation and the fire were disturbed, angry and sad all in one, mixed emotions all battling to be in the fore front of his mind, he fought them or he tried. He was used to fires but he'd never came out from one the way he had this, he was deeply affected and Jackson knew that despite his smiles.

TBC...


	47. The Voice

JACKSON LIVESY –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Voice"

This fanfic follows** on one week after **_You've Got Me_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Matt had been out of hospital for a few days now, confined to the use of crutches and a lot of rest which Jackson was overseeing very well much to Matt's chagrin. Matt was lying on the sofa in Dale head as Jackson ran around the house, tidying up, and getting things for him. "For god sake babe will you stand still for a minute or something!" he demanded clearly frustration.

Jackson stopped and turned at looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm sorry I just..." he let out a breath. "Wanna make you comfortable while you're here"

"While I'm here? Jackson I practically live here" he chuckled.

Jackson rushed to him and sat on the coffee table and looked at him, his heart feeling heavy at the sight of him. "Will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Live here? P-Properly I mean..."

Matt smiled. "You mean it?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't, I want you too babe, I love you and it makes sense"

"And it makes sense to me too" Matt leaned forward, pain stinging through his entire body at his movement, even the slightest movement, but right now he didn't care he wanted him. The gap between them closed and their lips touched passionately in a locking embrace that lasted until they needed air. "And I love you Jackson, let's do it" Matt smiled, a sparkle in his eyes.

Jackson grinned. "Great, we'll get the rest of your stuff moved in once you're better"

Matt nodded with a smile as he rested back into the sofa, his expression turning to discomfort once more as he moved.

"Matt, I know you're not okay and I wish I could take it away but I get the impression there's something else bothering you"

His eyes shifted slightly and he pouted as he shook his head, a lie as he remembered the voice he heard inside the pub when it was ablaze. "No" he looked at him forcing a smile.

"You sure?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah perfectly"

"Alright, will you be okay for a while if I nip into town and get some shopping in?" Jackson asked as he stood.

"I'll be fine babe, promise" he smiled as Jackson leaned down and they kissed again. Jackson smiled. "See you soon" he turned to the door and left.

Matt let out a sigh of relief and he let his head fall back, he waited a few seconds then got up carefully, wincing as he did until he was stood straight, his hands gripped on his crutches and he made his way to the front door and flung it open, stepping outside into the fresh air, relishing it.

He made his way up the village there were only a few people around and it was really quiet until he neared the black shell of the pub, he heard a distant laughter, chatting, he got closer and saw Chas sitting on one of the tables outside the pub looking down at her phone.

"Chas?" Matt asked softly.

Chas looked up quickly, composing herself, it was clear that she had been crying, she jumped up. "What the hell are you doing out? Jackson told me you were to rest for weeks; you must be in so much pain!"

"Yeah, yeah" he nodded. "But I get a bit testy when I'm cooped up...who doesn't?" he smiled. "Don't tell him, please? I'll be back before he gets home I just wanted some air"

Chas nodded. "Alright, wanna sit with me for a while?"

Matt nodded and followed her back to the table and lowered himself down slowly. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Waiting for one of your colleagues, fire investigation, they want a word, final report" she told him. "Diane's coming back today too, she knows but erm...I feel horrible" she looked down.

"I know you do but it wasn't you, it's got to have been the electrics, I was there with Hazel when they went out...they'll see you today in person then you'll get a letter and you'll be able to sort the insurance, it can be fixed Chas"

Chas nodded. "I know gunna take a lot of work..."

"But you'll have your home and pub back...how's Paddy treating ya...again?"

"Oh you heard about our past then?" Chas smirked.

Matt smirked. "Yeah"

"He's alright actually...kinda feels like it was the first time I lived there, only...except" she sighed.

"Aaron?" Matt asked quietly.

"Yeah...I was just looking through some old videos actually, seeing his smile, his beautiful blue eyes...I miss him"

Matt frowned. "C-Can I see?" he asked tentatively.

"Sure" Chas smiled and handed the phone to him. He pressed play and the video came to life, Aaron was stood in his wedding suit, pacing nervously. Matt chuckled. "You recorded him?"

Chas laughed as she watched. "Yeah, he hated it"

"_Mam will you do one, in a minute I've gotta get out there and stand in a room in front of everyone and declare my love and you aren't helping..."_

Matt frowned and absent mindedly he passed the phone back to Chas. _Get out _he thought. Those words were the ones he heard in the fire. _Get Out _he thought again. He placed his hands over his mouth, sweat forming on his brow. "I erm, sorry Chas...I better go" he scrambled to his feet and with the help of his crutches he started heading down the village.

"Matt?" Chas got up and followed him. "N-nothing...I just need to take my pills, really sore"

Chas stopped, despite his reason she was left feeling confused by his sudden haste to leave.

...

The atmosphere in the house seemed worse when Jackson got back. He sighed after putting away the shopping and he stood in front of the fire place with his hands on his waist. "Ok I need to say something...it's been eating away at me since the night of the fire now" he took a breath. "I know why you did it but why did you have too, why go in the pub when you knew help was on the way"

Matt frowned at him. "If she was left any longer, Chas might be dead now Jackson!"

"Yeah and you could have died Matt!" Jackson spat angrily. "Did you even think about me when you were in there? I was stood numb outside unable to do anything!"

"Of course I thought about you! I thought about you every second, but Chas needed help Jackson I know you understand that..."

Jackson sighed and looked away. "Fine, why didn't you get on the ladder after you got Chas out?"

"I thought I heard something Jackson, I stepped back to listen closer but I missed the rest of what I heard...but I remember two words..."

"There was no one else in that pub Matt"

"Get out..." Matt said. "Those were the words"

"You can't have heard that babe; no one else was in there"

Matt shook his head. "No maybe not b-but Aaron was, it was his voice Jackson" he looked up at Jackson and saw the shock in his expression.

TBC...


	48. The Feather

JACKSON LIVESY –

– BORN AGAIN–

"The Feather"

This fanfic follows** on immediately after **_The Voice_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

"...it was his voice Jackson" he looked up at Jackson and saw the shock in his expression then the tears starting to fill his head and he turned away. He watched Jackson shake his head "No"

Matt pushed himself to his feet. "Jackson I know what I heard!"

"You've never heard Aaron!" Jackson shot back as he swung around to him.

Matt sighed and swallowed hard. "I went out for a walk when you left and I had a chat with Chas and she showed me a video of him...it was Aaron, he was telling me to get out...before I could even do anything the floor collapsed under my feet!" Matt told him. "I'm not saying this to hurt you Jackson I'm saying it because I've been keeping it in and it was driving me crazy, whether it was really Aaron from the other side or just me hearing things in the fire, I don't know but if it was him, t-then I'm grateful, but I really don't understand it I don't know what it means" desperation filled his voice, he needed some kind of an answer.

Jackson sighed. "Follow me" he told him and walked to the door.

"Where we going?" Matt asked.

"Just follow me Matt" Jackson told him as he opened the door and waited outside for him

...

Jackson and Matt stood side by side looking down at Aaron's headstone, both eyes fixed to the eyes of Aaron on the picture. Matt was in pain but he ignored it as best as he could, he could feel something in the air, Jackson brought him there for the first time it was obviously important – he waited as he rested the tops of the crutches under his arms and leaned forward as comfortable as possible.

Jackson took in a breath. "I-I erm...It seemed right that I bring you here now...because I have to tell you something"

"Take your time babe" Matt soothed, happy to wait for as long it took.

Jackson knelt down in front of the headstone and looked at the picture of his husband. He missed him so much. "After Aaron's funeral, I left the wake...I went home and it was just me but I heard Aaron's voice and thought I saw something move into the kitchen, just a black mist, so quick it was gone in a second, I checked but there was nothing there" he shook his head slowly and looked up to the sky and tears slid down his face, now reliving it all. "Anyway" he let out a breath. "The following morning I woke up on the sofa an-and A-Aaron he was in the room, he sat next to me and I could touch him, I could smell him, he was real"

Matt chewed his lower lip as he listened, his first thoughts thinking it was impossible.

"He spent days with me, he was around the first time you saw me, when I lost the bracelet and I got home he told me you had it...and then when we had our date, Aaron liked you" Jackson smiled. "H-He said" Jackson stopped and let out a shaky breath. "That I should move on and see how it goes, now I'm glad I did but he came back to make sure I'd be okay" he let out a sob that sounded so, so sad to Matt.

"Hey..." he soothed. "It's ok"

"When he left to go wherever they go...it was so painful knowing that, that would be the last time I'd be able to touch him, smell him, hear his voice...at least in person" Jackson breathed. "As he left he said just say yes Jackson...I knew what it meant..."

Matt smiled and nodded slightly as he listened.

"It was about me and you...and I said yes...and now I have you...I freaked out when you said it was Aaron I'm sorry. But I think it was" he nodded. "It was Aaron Matt...He tried to save you...it just didn't work..." Jackson sighed.

Matt swallowed hard and looked at the headstone again. "No, Jackson, it did work...because if I hadn't of moved away from the window when I did I would have been caught in the flames when they blew out the windows...Aaron saved me...he did, he really did" Matt became emotional. "I-I wish I could have met him Jackson, he was so special to you and he always will be"

Jackson nodded and he slowly turned and looked up at him, his eyes glazed as he spoke. "I wish you had too...but he knew you in a way, and he liked you, I know it sounds stupid and I wasn't crazy Matt"

Matt nodded. "There are many things in this life, world...hell the universe that we'll never be able to understand, but I believe things like that can happen, especially when he was taken from you so harshly..."

Jackson nodded. "It happened..."

"I believe you and Aaron stepped in that night so we could have a life together" he shook his head. "I-I" he stuttered. "I know we haven't been together long and in the past I've never been so sure about what I want but with you...god Jackson...I know...I wanna be with you for as long as we have, life's too short...we can't ignore that, Aaron knew it..."

Jackson stood up and hugged Matt gently. "I want to share with my life with you"

"Let's do it" Matt pulled away and smiled at him, then leaned in and kissed him softly.

Jackson smiled lovingly at Matt.

"Let's go back eh? I'll follow you in a sec" Matt told him and Jackson nodded and went ahead without question leaving Matt at the graveside.

He cleared his throat and frowned as he thought of his words, he looked at Aaron's picture. "He will always love you Aaron, he loves me too and I love him so much...I promise to look after him, everything you didn't have the chance to do yourself...I'm going to be so good to him I promise Aaron...I-I just wanted to tell you myself, you can rest knowing that" Matt smiled and unknown to him for the minute at least, a feather floated downwards and it came into his view. He watched it with a frown as it landed in front of the headstone. He smiled, then it widened until he chuckled. He nodded his head, happily. "Good, good mate" he spoke softly and stepped away and began to catch up with Jackson. An overwhelming feeling of emotion washed over him and he wiped his eyes quickly before rejoining his boyfriend.


	49. Born Again

JACKSON LIVESY –

– BORN AGAIN–

"Born Again"

This fanfic follows** on sixty or so years after **_The Feather_

_Characters belong to ITV_

_..._

Sixty years. Sixty years had passed.

A life full of happiness, sadness, struggle. Achievement, children and grandchildren

...

Now their life together was coming to an end, Jackson Livesy was lying in a hospital bed, with Matt by his side. And their family outside now after saying goodbye, they knew it would happen soon.

Jackson looked across at Matt and smiled, although aged he still found him as attractive as the first time they had met. Jackson managed a smile. "We had a good run didn't we?" his aged voice cracked as he spoke.

Matt smiled and held his hand, tears streaming down his face. "Course we did, my love for you is as strong as it was back then"

Jackson nodded. "I love you too"

"Hey" Matt smiled. "He'll be waiting you know"

Jackson smiled and nodded. "Maybe. It's been too long, my life was with you"

"I don't regret a thing" Matt told him urgently, his tone hushed.

Jackson shook his head. He didn't either. "Thank you, thank you for this life..." tears were now strolling down his cheeks from his tired eyes.

"We did it together Jackson" Matt now cried too. "We brought up two amazing boys and they gave us grandkids" he smiled.

Jackson nodded and smirked. "I-I know you're pushing it with your age more than me a bit but look after them for me while you're still here, and tell them i love them, I love them all"

Matt leaned in and kissed his lips. "Of course I will...this hurts too much" he cried.

Jackson held his hand and gripped tightly, hopefully a comfort to him, they sat in silence with their heads resting against each other, the closeness Matt would savour and never forget.

Jackson was tired, his eyes closed and he rested, his breathing unaware to him became slower by the second. Then a flash, images, his grand-children being born, his children being born, events from before then, when him and Matt were in their youth, the fire, the moment he heard Matt say he loved him, when he told him he loved him back, then further, Smithy cottage, Paddy, Chas, everyone back there, the garage, Cain...then a flash of white light enveloped him within his mind's eye as his breathing stopped and his grip on Matt's hand loosened.

...

Jackson looked down at his hands, smooth youthful skin, he looked around and squinted, the sun was high in the sky, and it was a hot summer's day. He frowned, he was in the village, he looked around, and nobody was around, well until he swung around and saw Dale Head, his home.

His eyes met Aaron and he saw the bright happy smile on his face, with Clyde knelt down at his side. "You coming then or what?" Aaron called to him.

Jackson stepped forward, and began walking closer to the house. "I-I don't understand" he said as he stopped in front of him. The blue eyes he had never forgotten. He reached out and placed his hand on his face and his tears began to fall.

"I waited Jackson, I waited a long time. I said I would"

"I'm dead now?" Jackson asked.

Aaron nodded. "Well think of it as that life is over now, this is the new one, never ending"

"I never forgot about you" Jackson told him.

"I know"

"And I always loved you"

"I know" Aaron repeated this time with a nod and a smile.

Jackson chuckled then he frowned "W-Why am I young?"

"Because it's how you looked when we were together, how you remember us" Aaron smiled. "It's how it should be"

Jackson nodded. "Do we have beer here?" he chuckled.

"Yep...no more questions, the only thing I can say is that this is just a different reality to the one we knew, another village...another world...this is the afterlife for us and many others...your mum she erm..." Aaron smiled. "She's here, my mum's here...Paddy..." Aaron smiled. "It's good Jackson"

Jackson wiped his eyes, tears had fallen. "I missed you so much" he flung himself into Aaron's arms and hugged him tightly.

"So..." Aaron began as he cleared his throat. "How about we have that life together we missed out on?"

Jackson couldn't respond, he was stunned; he had been reunited with the love of his life. All he did was nod. Aaron smiled and held out his hand. Jackson took it eagerly and Aaron walked with him inside Dale head, Clyde followed quickly.

Aaron sighed contently, it could begin now. Both men stood at the doorway looking out at the village. Aaron smirked and nudged him playfully with his shoulder. "Gotta break it to you though...don't do flying saucers here" he smirked.

Jackson looked genuinely shocked. "Well they better start doing them"

Aaron laughed. "Your face!"

"Oh you're mean!" Jackson sighed as Aaron rested his head on Jackson's shoulder as they looked out at the village, their home. He placed his arm around him and held him tightly. "This is how it's meant to be" Aaron said with a smile.

Jackson nodded. "...it's just me and you now"

They needed to be with each other. Both lads stepped back and closed the door on this new world, just for now.

THE END

Thank you to everyone who had took their time to read my story, and to review it. It is much appreciated as always, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thank you x


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